Dangerous Redemption: A Single Parent Forbidden Romance Novel (Paths To Love Book 4)

by Grahame Claire

  “Of course.” I didn’t have to specify why I couldn’t. He understood. Holly didn’t belong in a world like ours. “And the other matter?” he asked hesitantly.

  “Today.”

  He’d been reluctant to ask me to attend to a few tasks, but I’d been eager to accept. I felt idle, especially without Holly and Gabriel. As a cartel prince, I hadn’t been required to get my hands soiled, I chose to.

  “Are you certain you want to do this? She may forgive—”

  “She won’t.” Unless I could magically become a man with a squeaky clean past and present, there was no hope for Holly and me. Yet the determined part of me wouldn’t give up on us.

  “Very well.”

  * * *

  I tucked my Glock in the waistband of my pants at the small of my back and grabbed my coat.

  My mind wandered toward Holly and Gabriel, what they were doing, how they were, as the elevator descended. The time since I'd seen them had been the longest of my life. Holly hadn't put a stop to me leaving them dinner or doing some of the laundry, but she hadn't responded to it either. I wasn’t sure if I expected a response, but I was disappointed I hadn't gotten one.

  I missed them. They were mine, even if I was the only one who knew it. On the flip side, I was theirs too. I belonged to a woman and an almost-six-year-old child. The two of them had me twisted up. I’d stared death in the face more times than I wanted to admit, yet losing them permanently was far scarier than dying.

  I was no closer to figuring out if I had a chance to get them back. Getting rid of Nicanor Rosca wasn't a surefire solution. There was no guarantee that if I killed him, I would be out of that life and be able to promise Holly I could protect them. Rosca wasn’t the only one who wanted me dead. He posed the biggest threat, but Eduardo was a close second. Aside from whisking them off to some remote location where we were isolated from the rest of the world, I couldn't do it, and I wouldn't lie to her. I would die for them, but that didn't ensure their safety. I could love them more than anyone else ever would, but it wasn't enough. As much as I wanted to blame my father for all this, it was my choices that had landed me here, wishing like mad I was with them instead of apart.

  The elevator eased to a stop, but it wasn't until the doors slid open that I registered her honey scent.

  “Mr. Carlos.” Gabriel barreled toward me.

  I dropped to my knees and held open my arms, squeezing my eyes shut as I clutched him to me. My eyes stung, but I forced them open, looking up at my Beauty, who was watching with a hooded gaze. I didn't hide my emotion. I wanted her to see I loved them, wanted her to see me.

  “How come you can’t come over anymore?” Gabriel asked, head cocked, eyes as piercing as any I'd ever been scrutinized by.

  Holly’s cheeks were red, not with embarrassment but frustration with me for putting them in this situation.

  “I—” My throat constricted. How could I tell him I wasn't a good guy? I was the one his heroes would be going after. “It's better for you and your mom.” That was inadequate, but it was all I could come up with. Holly wasn't impressed.

  “No, it's not,” Gabriel replied. I wanted to stand, use my height so I didn't feel so small, but that would require letting him go, and I wasn't prepared to do that yet. “We miss you. Mama can't play soccer.”

  I couldn't help but smile at that. “You can teach her what you know.” There was no way I would suggest he learn from somebody else. I couldn't bring myself to think about another man in their life, even if that was what they deserved. “I miss you too.”

  “Is it because of me you can't come back?”

  I held him at arm’s length, horrified at the question. “Why would you think that? Of course that's not why.”

  “I heard Mama say she doesn't take risks with me.” Holly gasped. Neither of us had realized he was listening the other night.

  “She doesn't, and that's why she's the best mama in the whole world,” I assured him. “I want you to promise me something. Can you do that?” He nodded. “Whatever your mom tells you, you trust that. Okay?”

  “Yes, sir.”

  “And Gabriel? You are not the problem. It's me. You haven't done a thing wrong. Don't forget that.” I stared into his eyes, imploring him to hear me.

  “I thought you'd still come pick me up from school.” I wanted to tell him I'd been there every single day, so I leaned in close. “Are you sure I haven't been there?” I asked. He nodded, certain. “Did you think I'd forgotten about you?” He nodded again, and I twisted in pain. “Never. You and your mom are all I think about. But it's better for the two of you if I stay away right now. I don't like it, but that's how it has to be.”

  “I already told my teacher you would come with Mama to the open house at school. So you could see what we're doing.” His head hung, and I couldn't stand letting him down.

  “Gabriel, when did you do that?” Holly asked, surprised.

  “Last week. Everybody else has a daddy coming, and I wanted to have one too.”

  The elevator doors opened to the lobby, and Holly staggered out, face ashen. She struggled with guilt over that very thing. It was a problem she'd known she'd have to deal with eventually, but I didn’t think she was expecting it so soon. I couldn't help but feel it was partially my fault. At the same time, I felt a sense of pride he’d wanted me at the school as his papa. I wanted that too.

  Slowly rising to my full height, I was pleased when Gabriel led me out of the elevator. Was I being selfish, knowing this was leading him on?

  “Baby, tell Carlos goodbye,” Holly said hoarsely.

  “But he could come with us for cupcakes.” Gabriel refused to budge.

  “I’m sure he has things to do.” Holly shot a pleading look at me, and I felt like I was being stretched apart at the seams.

  “I'm sorry, Gabriel. I wish I could go. Will you eat a chocolate one for me?” Sorry didn't begin to cover how I felt, especially when his face fell in disappointment.

  He collected himself like a man ten times his age, putting up a brave front. “Sure. Will you come to the thing at school?”

  “Gabriel, tell Carlos goodbye,” Holly repeated.

  “I'm sorry I can't be there for you, Gabriel. I—” Damn it. A lump formed in my throat. I was blatantly lying to the boy. I could be there for him. “Take care of your mama, okay?” That was all I could think of to say, and it wasn't good enough. I should be the one taking care of them. Not putting it on Gabriel's shoulders.

  “I will,” he promised. Gabriel was almost back to his mother when he turned and ran toward me, throwing his arms around me.

  “I love you, Gabriel,” I whispered against his hair, hugging him fiercely. I'd let him down, and he was still affectionate when he could have stomped away. I’d never loved a child before, hadn’t known I ever would. But what I’d said was true. He was incredible.

  “Love you too, Mr. Carlos,” he whispered back.

  My heart broke.

  Chapter Forty

  Holly

  “We’re on our way back.”

  I sagged into the sofa. At almost one o'clock in the afternoon, I was in my sweatpants, a T-shirt, and hadn't showered yet. Mulaney had said I could work from home when I needed, and I was taking advantage of that.

  “I’m glad Miss Ruby is well enough for you to leave her.” This was the news I’d been waiting for.

  “She’s feeling better all right, dishing out orders and refusing to obey any,” she muttered, but the tension that had been in her voice the last week or so had diminished. “I just got word of a mandatory meeting at three. You’ve been cleared to go in my place.”

  “Three?” I asked, my voice wobbling in panic. Who would pick up Gabriel from school?

  “Will this interfere with Gabriel's schedule?” she asked, and I appreciated her thinking of him, especially with all she had going on.

  “It's fine.” It so wasn’t fine. What was I going to do?

  “See you soon.”

  I sat t
here for a good minute, staring at the phone before I threw myself into action. Shower. That was what I needed to do first. Then maybe a solution to how I could be in two places at once would come.

  * * *

  I showered and quickly dressed. The meeting wasn't optional. My son wasn't either. I sucked up my pride and got on the elevator.

  Carlos opened the door within seconds of me knocking. “What's wrong?”

  “I know I said I didn't need your help, but Mulaney called, and there's a meeting I have to go to for her at three—”

  “I'll drop you off at work, pick up Gabriel, and you can call us when you need a ride home,” he finished.

  Problem solved. “Are you sure?”

  “Holly, you wouldn't be here if this wasn't your only option. I'm glad to help. I need to grab my wallet and keys, and then we can go.”

  In the elevator, we stood in opposite corners, as far away from each other as possible. I stared at the number panel as it ticked off floors, though I was hyper-aware of him.

  “I appreciate this,” I said, shattering the silence.

  “I'd do anything for you,” he returned solemnly, holding the elevator doors when they opened in the underground garage.

  We briskly walked over to the dark SUV, and Carlos opened the passenger side door for me. This contradiction always caught me off guard. He wasn't a gentleman, and yet, he respected me more than anyone ever had. Treated me like I was on a pedestal.

  He climbed into the driver's seat, cranked the car, and hit the busy streets of New York. “High and Dry” by Radiohead played through the speakers, and I leaned my head against the seat, wondering if Carlos was playing this for me. He cursed when a taxi dove in front of us and slammed on the brakes, his arm going across me protectively.

  “How can you know you love me when we've only just met?” I asked. I'd been pondering the question for days.

  “I just do. It's insanity to feel so strongly, so quickly. But that doesn't make it any less true. I could try to fight it, but what would be the point? I love you, and I love Gabriel.” He sounded so sure, so confident. I hated the circumstances tearing us apart. He reached across the center console for my hand. “I thought my heart was empty, incapable of feeling anything good. You and Gabriel have brought out a side of me I didn't know I had.”

  Any other man, and I'd question their motives, but not Carlos. He radiated a genuineness I couldn't dispute.

  “How is Gabriel?”

  “Already good at masking his feelings. But he's down. I can see it. He misses you.” I glanced at him. “I miss you too,” I admitted. This was asking for trouble, but I wanted him to know.

  “I won't ask you to wait for me, but if I can solve the problem, I'm coming for you and Gabriel. We will be a family.”

  “I'd like that very much. But nothing has changed for now. I'm sorry I've put you in this awkward position today. I hate that this will get Gabriel's hopes up, but you are the only person I trust with him.”

  “Never hesitate to ask me for anything,” he said. “Is it okay if I take him to the Empire State Building this afternoon? I'd like to keep my promise to him, but if it's something you want to do with him, I'll respect that.”

  “He'd like that.” I wanted that. I wanted him and everything he wished he could give me. Give us.

  Carlos pulled up in front of my office, the ride I'd dreaded going by all too quickly. He put the SUV in park. “I have a new phone. Let me give you the number, and as soon as you're ready, we'll come pick you up.” His fingers flew as he programmed the number into my cell. “Dinner is almost ready. Do I need to feed Gabriel or should we wait for you?”

  “Thank you for all the meals. It's been such a relief,” I said. “I have no idea how long this meeting will last. If it gets past six, and you haven't heard from me, go ahead and eat. I don't anticipate being that long, but you never know.”

  “Don't worry about Gabriel. He'll be fine.”

  “I know, and thank you again, Carlos. I have no idea what I would have done if it weren't for you.”

  “That's exactly how I feel about you too.”

  Chapter Forty-One

  Carlos

  I waited outside Gabriel's school, eager for the final bell to ring. He'd be as surprised to see me as I was to be here. I couldn't wait to spend the afternoon with him. Who would've ever known how empty I'd feel without him? Children poured out the front of the building, and I got a little nervous. What if Gabriel didn't want to see me? He could be upset with me because I’d let him down. All that disappeared when he came out of the door. He was chattering with another boy around the same age, but when he spotted me, Gabriel took off mid-sentence.

  This never got old, him running into my arms and me hugging him tightly. Over his shoulder, I saw the cowboy sticking out of his backpack. I was with him even when I wasn't, just like he was with me.

  “How was school?”

  “Good. I saw you yesterday.”

  “Told you I was here. I always will be, even if you can't see me.”

  “Where's Mama?”

  “She had a meeting, so if it's all right with you, I thought we'd check out the Empire State Building.”

  “Yes please, Mr. Carlos. It's cool with me.”

  * * *

  Gabriel and I explored the Empire State Building until there was nothing left to see. I took pictures of him on my phone, texting a couple to Holly so she could see how happy he was. We took a selfie, though there wasn't much of New York in the background. I was glad to have a few photos of the two of us.

  We headed back to the car, which we'd parked in a nearby garage, discussing how we might convince Holly to go to Shake Shack.

  “Well, well, Calderón. I'm witnessing a miracle. You are resurrected from the dead,” I knew the voice, and every hair on my body rose. Instinctively, I turned and steered Gabriel behind me. “Maybe I need to drink from the same cup as your family, seeing as your sister rose from the dead, as well. You don't look happy to see me, Carlos. That hurts.”

  Jaw clenched, I stared Nicanor Rosca down. I knew it was only a matter of time before he found me, but how had he done it so quickly?

  “It's interesting no one has seen your father. Perhaps he'll turn up too.”

  “Where's your dad?” Gabriel asked, letting himself be seen.

  “That is a very good question,” Rosca said.

  I reached for my gun and realized I'd left it in the car because of my promise to Holly and firearms were prohibited in the Empire State Building.

  “Who do we have here?”

  “He's none of your concern,” I grated out, feeling Gabriel's hand squeezing mine. He was scared. That alone was enough reason to eliminate this man.

  “If he's interfering with our business, then he is.”

  Rosca shoved his hands in his pockets, his stance casual. He was in an immaculate suit, covered with a long black cashmere coat. At a glance, he appeared no different than any other man coming from the office. But he was far more dangerous and wouldn't think twice about killing everyone in a five-block radius for his own amusement.

  “Nothing changes.”

  “I'm not so sure of that, now that you are the head of your family. You'll have to prove to me you're a man of your word.”

  “I've already done that.” I kept calm, though inside I was boiling. This was a worst-case scenario. Rosca knew about my sister. Now he knew about Gabriel. He wanted me to prove my loyalty, which I was certain would entail something gruesome. I was fucked.

  Rosca gave me a devilish smile. “Not if I say otherwise.” A chill ran up my spine. “Your sister is lovely, and this little guy here is a handsome fellow.”

  “Nothing. Changes,” I repeated insistently. Blowing my lid and spewing threats was pointless and would only show weakness on my part. I’d gotten his message; it was only a matter of time before I'd have to give him mine.

  “We'll see. I'll be in touch.” He started past, brushing his shoulder against mine. “Oh, a
nd Carlos. I don't blame you for wanting to disappear. That blonde is absolutely stunning. I'd want to keep her all to myself too.” He was a dead man. Scum like him didn’t get to think about my Beauty.

  I picked up Gabriel and returned to the car. He didn't say a word, clutching my neck until I had him buckled into his car seat. I fired off a text to Holly to wait for us inside her office building.

  I phoned Donato, requesting more security at the apartment building and to have it swept for possible intruders. That was all I had to say; he hung up, already on it.

  “Gabriel, would you recognize that man if you saw him again?” I asked, glancing in the rearview mirror.

  “Yes, sir.”

  “If you ever see him again, I want you to run as far and fast as you can. If he sees you, scream as loud as you can while you run.”

  “Okay.” No hesitation, no questions, and no fear.

  “I love you. Don't forget that.”

  His voice shook when he spoke. “I won't.”

  Chapter Forty-Two

  Holly

  “You’re on your way home? Not the office?”

  Did Carlos sound angry?

  I glanced out the window of the taxi. So many people. “The meeting didn’t last as long as I thought. Miss Jacobs is back and wants to go over some things.” I did too, for that matter.

  “You should’ve phoned me first.” His voice was barely restrained fury.

  “I wanted you and Gabriel to have all the time you need. And I want to talk to Miss Jacobs.” My nerves spiked. Carlos’s mood did nothing to help.

  “Who’s the driver? What’s the taxi number?”

  A sniff of incredulity escaped me. “I don’t know.” I looked at the driver, who was focused on the road. “What’s with all the questions?”

  “I texted you to stay inside the building.”

  A horn blared on the other end of the line, and Carlos said something in Spanish that I assumed was a curse.