Family Portraits

by JoAnn Aitken

  “Well, okay,” he said slowly. “But don’t let on to Din and don’t tell Sharon. For God’s sake. You’ve got to promise.” She promised.

  “Dennis has a thing for Sharon. Has had ever since he met her. He thinks she’s beautiful and smart and feisty. But he knows he’s too old for her.”

  “That he is, some, but maybe he should focus on getting a real job while she works on her schooling. You know nothing will keep her from her goal.”

  Gordie pulled her close. “I’m so glad I just scooped you up immediately before you had a chance to think it over.”

  “I love you, Gordie,” she replied.

  Dennis was lovable. He was sweet-natured and affectionate. He was also extremely talented.

  He was an accomplished photographer and small filmmaker. He had graduated from a media studies program a couple of years before but had found it difficult to get a job in the industry because his skills were so advanced but he had no corporate experience. He got the occasional temporary contract but couldn’t land a suitable full-time job.

  Meanwhile, he lived at home with his parents. Molly doted on him, and Finn tried hard not to think of him as shiftless. He picked up work tending bar or driving cab. He played bass in a neighborhood band called The Rebels which covered popular tunes and threw in a little Irish music too.

  They had fun, and Gordie used to join them every now and then before the baby was born. Those were really good times because Gordie played guitar pretty well and had a great voice. The audience really warmed up when he was the front man.

  Dennis had success in getting girls, but after a while, they all just wanted to be friends. His gentle ways didn’t turn them on. But that was okay with him because ever since he had met Theresa’s sister, he desired no other.

  Sharon was so serious about her education. He figured she might beat him up if he spoke to her of romance. He was prepared to wait patiently for the right time.

  The apartment was getting too small for Gordie and Theresa and their family. Molly’s crib was in her parents’ bedroom, and the two computer workstations and all the books and binders were in Sharon’s room. It was cramped for the two girls.

  Sharon was finishing Grade Twelve and had been accepted into the nursing program at the community college. Her academic record was so outstanding that she was being encouraged to go to university for a Bachelor of Science in Nursing, a four-year stint instead of two years. She wanted it, but she was anxious to make a quick start. Nonetheless, she worked every waking hour, enjoying no social life. The close quarters and the disturbance of a baby didn’t make it easier.

  Theresa was working online and at night school on a General Arts and Science diploma. She thought it would be a good base for whatever she decided to put her mind to later. Being a wife and mother didn’t make that easier.

  Gordie did well at his work. He was a first-class mechanic, and his winning personality brought customers back. His boss gave him regular raises, incentives to stay with him.

  Good luck shone on the little family. An elderly widower who lived two doors down from Finn and Molly was having to leave his home. Finn had befriended him, looking after his garden and shoveling his sidewalk. The neighbor asked if Gordie and Theresa would like to rent his house. It was perfect.

  They moved in early 1998. And their son, Michael-Gordon, was born in June. Such happiness! But they had to face the flip side in September when the garage where Gordie worked burned to the ground.

  Gordie never expected to have difficulty getting another job, but the economy was tight, and his employment insurance wouldn’t last for long. He was extremely stressed and decided to sing with The Rebels two nights a week to earn a few dollars until the situation straightened out.

  As always, Gordie brought more people to the pub. Soon the band was asked to play on Thursdays as well. Word got around, and bar owners from all over town came down to listen and offer work. Soon they were working six nights a week.

  The two other married guys in the group couldn’t keep the pace and were replaced by local musicians. The group became “The Rebels, featuring Gordie Gallagher.”

  They were invited to shows featuring up and coming local talent. They were reviewed in the local entertainment paper distributed throughout the city. They appeared on the city’s cable station. The crowds got bigger.

  They became “Gordie Gallagher and The Rebels,” and people were courting them to be their manager. Success was coming fast. It was so unexpected, and Gordie was overwhelmed. This wasn’t exactly what he had in mind. It kept him away from Theresa and his kids. But he was making money, and to tell the truth, he liked the attention.

  They hired a manager whose first project was to line them up with a small tour of local towns, just places around the Golden Horseshoe. Word spread. Their manager told them they couldn’t lose their momentum and had to rehearse constantly. They also had to start thinking about writing some original tunes.

  It was hard work, and there were growing distractions. They were exposed to increasing amounts of drugs, and women followed the band, most of them interested in getting next to Gordie.

  Gordie and Dennis didn’t mind blowing some dope, but they were serious about the music. The other band members were glad enough to take advantage of all the female attention, but Gordie loved Theresa. Their relationship was based on their intellectual, spiritual, and physical bond. They shared two children. He desired no one else and usually left the parties early, going to his room to call his sweetheart. They counted the days until they were together again.

  Dennis dabbled in the high times, but, in his mind, no one compared to Sharon for whom he was prepared to wait as long as necessary. He wasn’t a big partier, but he was making a short documentary on the rise of a local band, so he got out more than Gordie.

  Gordie walked down the narrow hallway to the washroom. He felt fabulous. He had snorted cocaine a couple of times years ago when he lived down east and was camping with his cousins. Seamus, their father, would have skinned them alive if they’d been caught at home. Gordie had forgotten the amazing high.

  When he came out of the bathroom, a girl was waiting in the hall, and she took his hand and pulled him through a back door into a stairwell. She pushed him against the wall and dropped to her knees. As she pleasured him, he had no thoughts other than the sensations her hungry mouth was giving him. When he came, he thought he would pass out. She stood up quickly and said, “I knew you would be delicious.” And then she was gone.

  He stumbled to the bathroom and splashed cold water on his face. He didn’t even know who she was. In a few minutes, he went back to the party. He couldn’t see her anywhere, although, in all honesty, he hadn’t gotten a good look at her in the first place.

  Next day, hung over from the tequila and filled with remorse, he talked to his brother about what had happened. “Do you expect me to feel sorry for you?” Dennis joked. “Seriously, man, don’t blame yourself. Essentially, you were raped.”

  “Oh, Theresa,” Gordie moaned, his face in his hands.

  “Oh, my aching head,” moaned Dennis.

  However, it got easier to bear. The more cocaine, the less guilt.

  The band spent the summer on the road, from the Victoria Day Weekend until almost Thanksgiving. They played clubs, festivals, and outdoor concerts. They were well received everywhere they went. The main draw was Gordie’s good looks and charisma.

  Gordie insisted that they continue to play a couple of Irish tunes each show. The band members thought he was crazy. But when he would introduce them in his Irish accent, it made the women go wild. Gordie laughed, crazy like a fox.

  The band felt that they didn’t need to rehearse since they were playing almost every night. They felt that they could get serious about writing once the summer was over. They felt that the excesses in which they indulged themselves were part of the job, perks after a night’s hard work.

  Gordie gave into the siren song of cocaine. That led to getting it on with wome
n, many women. He was away from his wife for weeks at a time. He was twenty-five years old. He could rationalize his behavior. Dennis kept his disapproval to himself.

  Sharon heard tales from her friends who followed the band. They were very bad tales indeed. She didn’t say a word to Theresa, who had her own suspicions, but she did talk regularly with Din via e-mail. He sounded more and more depressed. It was apparent that he wanted to quit the band, but he couldn’t bring himself to leave his brother.

  Sharon was so concerned that she told Katherine everything. Kathy talked to Eddie.

  Eddie was thinking about coming back east and had been for a while. The Vancouver scene was brutal, but it wouldn’t be easy to get out without taking a financial beating. He suggested that Katherine return to Hamilton, find a big house which could include an office for her interior design work. Sharon could come and live there right away, and it would be a refuge for Theresa and her children when the time came. And Eddie knew it would.

  Meanwhile, Katherine could do some real estate scouting work for him in the Hamilton-Toronto vicinity. He believed Hamilton would make a big comeback once the GO train came into the north-end station. He foresaw many people getting out of high-priced Toronto and moving to Hamilton once they could commute direct to Union Station.

  The north end, where Finn and Molly lived, would be an up and coming neighborhood. Rundown old houses would be renovated into modern beauties, just like Finn had done years since. Eddie believed there was a fortune to be made, just around the corner.

  He had total confidence in Katherine and gave her free rein. The only down side was their enforced separation. However, they could talk or e-mail every day, and God knows, they had plenty of money to travel back and forth at least a couple of times a month.

  While that prospect gave them both pause, they knew that Theresa was going to need their help soon. They didn’t feel that Finn on his own could protect her. They were also a ready source of money for bail, lawyer’s fees, and the like. Eddie saw serious trouble on the horizon.

  January 2000

  Katharine and Eddie took fish and chips to Theresa and Gordie’s for dinner the evening before both Eddie and Gordie were leaving town. Gordie was very quiet, and Theresa was very tense. The presence of their two children was a good diversion.

  No conversation of consequence took place, and Gordie rose from the table abruptly and said he had to get some fresh air. Eddie said he would go too. Gordie was obviously not pleased but couldn’t say anything.

  They went to a nearby hotel where Gordie was greeted like a celebrity. He and Eddie sat at the bar and ordered beer. After a couple of minutes, Gordie excused himself to go to the washroom, and Eddie noted a man seated at a table immediately rise and follow him. The second man was in the washroom for maybe thirty seconds before he emerged, and Gordie came out a short time later.

  He looked a world better. His color was restored, and he amiably greeted other patrons on his way back to the bar. He was obviously tuned up and ordered shots of tequila for Eddie and himself.

  Eddie attempted to engage him in conversation about the band and the upcoming tour, but they were interrupted by a steady stream of girls approaching Gordie. A buxom blonde told him that she just got a new car and wanted him to have a look at it. The others were less creative, but their messages were equally clear. Gordie was in his element.

  Eddie recognized the futility of trying to talk to him and said he had to get going. He was flying back to Vancouver the next day, so he wished Gordie luck, put on his coat, and paid the tab. As he walked away, he heard Gordie say to the chick with the big tits, “So, Michelle, let’s go and take a look at that new car of yours.”

  He relayed this to Katherine on the way home. She was even more upset than before and asked him what to do. “There’s nothing anybody can do, Kat,” he said. "He’s got to hit bottom, and he’s not there yet. You’ve got some time to talk to Theresa before he comes back, but I think that’s hopeless. I believe she needs to get out now before it gets worse – and it will get much worse. And I don’t think it will take too much longer.

  “All you can really do is impress on her that we are ready to help her in any way, at any time. As hard as it is for us to be apart, baby, I’m glad you’re here because she is going to need you.”

  Theresa opened her eyes in the early morning light. Her stomach churned with anxiety. Oh, God. Another day. And today Gordie was going away again. She felt a combination of relief and heartache.

  He stirred and rolled on top of her, half asleep. Good. Easy. Not too wasted last night. Oh, yes. So good and easy. Sweet, sweet girl. Like home. God. And he was done.

  He lifted his head and looked at her.

  “T,” he said, like he was surprised.

  “Gordie,” she whispered.

  He looked into her eyes. “You’re my girl,” he said and kissed her softly.

  “I love you, Gordie,” she dared to say.

  “I love you too, my baby.”

  The moment passed, and he said, “I gotta go,” and left her. A short time later, he was pulling out of the driveway. He didn’t wave goodbye. She wondered if she would ever see him again.

  Dennis kept in touch with Sharon by e-mail. He was very unhappy and worried about his brother. He confirmed what Eddie had told Katharine about the venues they were playing ranging from seedy to scary. Drugs were everywhere, and Gordie never rehearsed, getting on stage high, and the band wasn’t any better. Supposedly, if the band was well received, they would hit the venue again on their return trip. Not too many takers were on that deal.

  Eddie had told Katherine that there was only one reasonable venue, The Palladium. It was a medium-sized place, run and managed by two brothers who were interested in moving up in the live entertainment business. They ran an extremely tight ship, very serious security at the door and in the bar. The clientele was mainly college kids who had to be carefully watched for fake IDs, drugs, and weapons. The last thing the brothers wanted was to lose their license.

  Dennis reported that the show at The Palladium hadn’t been too bad, unlike some of the other places where Gordie had been snorting coke backstage during the show, but the after-party at a motel next door had been reminiscent of the last days of Caligula. Din’s despair was palpable. “I can’t do it anymore, Sharon,” he wrote. “I’ve never seen such debauchery. My parents would die if they saw their son. Nothing I say makes any difference. I’m done.”

  And so he was. He took a job bartending and bouncing at a local bar and worked at regaining his self-respect. Not having indulged in the low life to any great extent, he was able to return to his cheerful self fairly quickly. But he worried constantly about Gordie. In his mind, he had abandoned his brother, and he was having trouble forgiving himself

  Gordie and the band staggered on. Their manager quit. Somebody’s brother was supposedly filling in, but really bad went to catastrophic when they had trouble with a piece of their equipment. Not surprisingly, there was no money to address the situation, so Gordie breezily forged the old manager’s name on a check for $2,500, enough to fix things and buy more cocaine.

  Gordie was back at home when the police arrived to arrest him. Such a big fuss over such a small deal! Theresa, whose life had progressed from bad dream to nightmare since he had been home, was frantic. Finn, who said little, but whose stony face spoke for him, and Patrick got a family friend to represent Gordie. His bail was paid and he was released on his own recognizance until a court date was set. He was ordered to stay away from drugs and alcohol.

  The children annoyed Gordie. Theresa annoyed Gordie. So the three of them spent a lot of time at Finn and Molly’s. Theresa didn’t say much, not wanting to betray her husband or upset his parents. She left the children there most nights and brought dinner home.

  Gordie was suffering badly from withdrawal and boredom, He couldn’t concentrate on anything and took his frustration out on Theresa. He fucked her constantly, most times miserably unable to finish
what he started. He irrationally blamed her for everything, and her fear of him grew. Fear turned into terror when she had to tell him she was pregnant. Gordie was furious and struck her for the first time.

  One night when she was lingering with Molly, afraid to go home, there was a knock on the door. Molly answered to a girl who wondered if Gordie Gallagher lived there. “He’s not here right now,” Molly smiled. “How can I help you?”

  “My name is Darlene Seminuk, and I met Gordie in the spring. I wrote all about him in my journal, and my dad found it. He’s really, really mad and going to the police because I’m only fifteen. I just wanted to give Gordie a heads up because he’s such a great guy.”

  “Well, that’s very thoughtful of you,” Molly said calmly. “I’ll be sure to let him know.”

  The girl handed her a piece of paper. “Will you give him this in case he wants to call me?” The note had a phone number written on it and, in childlike handwriting, “Remember the Palidum?”

  “Excellent,” Molly said enthusiastically. “You take care now.”

  Theresa had overheard everything and had moved from the kitchen to the front door. Back in Ireland, Molly had heard tales of the walking dead. Now she believed they were true.

  “I want you to stay here from now until he goes to court,” Molly said.

  “I can’t, Molly. He’ll come for me and surely get into it with Finn. When do you suppose the police will arrive?”

  They came soon enough. The additional charge of statutory rape put Gordie under house arrest with an ankle bracelet. The double charge would go before a judge in three months. Gordie was outraged. He didn’t even remember the girl. What girl? There had been hundreds of girls.

  His lawyer was pessimistic about the outcome. He thought Gordie might be looking at a few years in prison, and there really was no defense. Gordie paced the small house like a caged animal. He was indignant at the unfairness of it all, but he was worried nonetheless.

  February 2001

  The hearing was in a month’s time when Gordie received a call from an old friend who had heard about Gordie’s bad turn of luck. He asked if he could drop by for a short visit. When he arrived, he brought a bottle of tequila and an eight ball of coke to lift Gordie’s spirits.