Benny

by Terry Bolryder

  He closed his eyes for a second, savoring it, and Harley grinned, loving how much he appreciated food.

  When they were together, she’d be sure to cook for him all the time.

  He sat back, eyes open again, and she flushed, trying to remember not to get too ahead of herself.

  “No, my bear doesn’t exactly look like that,” Benny said, looking around to make sure no one was in listening range. The ice cream shop was busy and loud, so people were not paying any attention.

  “What does it look like, then? Will I ever see it?”

  Benny held out a spoon of ice cream, and she tasted it, licking her lips.

  She flushed as Benny’s eyes widened, focused in on her mouth in a way that made him go totally still.

  She sat back, self-conscious and turned on at the same time.

  As she’d always suspected, their chemistry was so easy. She was kind of glad she’d have the distraction of work after this.

  Benny composed himself, setting his spoon back in his bowl quietly. “I hope you never see it. It’s not something I would want you to see.”

  “But why not? Haven’t the others seen their mate’s shifted form?”

  Benny stared down at the table, and she wondered if she shouldn’t push any harder. This had always been a hard topic to approach.

  “I’m not… I’m not exactly like other shifters. That’s part of why we have to go slow.” He swallowed, and she hated the way his jaw tensed, his shoulders slumping slightly.

  She wanted this big, powerful man to always know how powerful he was. How much she thought of him.

  She leaned over the table and planted a kiss on his lips that tasted like ice cream.

  When she pulled back, he looked more relaxed.

  “How do you always know what to do?” He rested one elbow on the table and continued to eat his ice cream.

  “How do you always know what to do?” she retorted.

  “What do you mean?”

  “You’re always there for me,” she said quietly. “Like when I was stood up on my first date and you showed up with a lantern and UNO and we played it in the back of my beat-up truck until dawn.”

  Benny’s hazel eyes shuttered slightly, and she couldn’t tell if he was embarrassed or pleased that she’d brought this up.

  He’d changed so much as an adult, becoming friendlier with everyone, always smooth with a comeback or a compliment.

  But with her, he was the same old Benny, and she would always treasure that she was the only one who got to see him that way.

  “You know, I might have been the reason he didn’t show up.” Benny stirred his ice cream, worrying his full lower lip. “I don’t know if I ever told you about that.”

  Her heart began to speed up, as it always did whenever he was protective. She didn’t want it from anyone else, but from him, it was everything.

  “What do you mean? What did you do?”

  “I overheard him,” Benny said. “In the locker room.” His eyes closed in anger, his lips in a firm line. He sighed, opening his eyes, though the anger was still there. “He was saying horrible things about what he wanted to do to you. I might have told him what would happen if he showed up.”

  Harley smiled. Benny had been muscular and tall, while the other guys were still lanky and boyish. She could almost imagine the look on her almost date’s face.

  “I’m sorry. I should have told you sooner. I shouldn’t have let you be hurt about it. That’s why I wanted to cheer you up. Well, I always want to cheer you up.”

  She giggled. “It’s fine. I had more fun with you anyway. I could pretend we were on a date.”

  He raised a dark eyebrow. “We sort of were.”

  “Good,” she said. “I like it.”

  “I never forgot how kind you were to me when I first came to your house. I always tried to make it up to you. You were the first person… You…” He ran a hand through his hair, ruffling it adorably. “You were my first hug.”

  She felt heat warm her cheeks, her heart aching slightly to hear him confirm what she’d always feared. “You deserved so many hugs before that.”

  “And you built me that fort,” he said, his voice sounding tight. “It was the first time I felt safe. And when I looked at you, I wanted to protect you. It was the first time I felt that as well, though I didn’t know what it meant. I just knew you were pretty, even then.”

  She stirred her ice cream, watching it melt, feeling a pang as she remembered the last pillow fort she’d seen.

  It had been when her parents died.

  Benny, who’d been working a summer job and living in the bunks, had shown up out of nowhere.

  Just seeing him had made her feel like the world wasn’t ending. Falling into his arms had been everything. But she’d still been numb. Unable to cry, unable to feel.

  And then he’d helped her to the couch and built her a pillow fort while she watched.

  And when he’d guided her inside and let her fall against his chest, with the world safely away from her, she’d finally been able to cry.

  She felt tears bite at her eyes and quickly swiped at them.

  Benny looked mortified, and he quickly stood up from his place and slid into the booth next to her, using a napkin to blot her tears.

  She smiled at him, taking the napkin. It was long enough ago now that the tears were ones of faithful remembrance and not so stinging as before, though there would always be pain.

  “I’m sorry if I said something…”

  “Oh, no,” she said. “I was just thinking of when you came, when my parents…”

  He went rigid, then put an arm around her. Clearly, he still felt pain too. “They were amazing people.”

  “They would have been so happy if they could see what you did for me. I don’t know if I ever thanked you.”

  “Thanked me?” Benny’s deep voice was surprised, and his arm pulled her in close, making her feel safe in a way no one else could. “You never needed to thank me. It’s just what you do for someone you love.”

  “I needed that pillow fort,” she said, sniffling and smiling as she blotted at her eyes again.

  “I needed the one you built for me,” he said solemnly.

  She looked up into his eyes, seeing home there. Her hand lifted to his cheek, grazing the stubble. “I guess there’s a lot that people can’t understand about us.”

  Benny nodded. “But it’s okay as long as we understand.”

  They stayed like that for a long moment, letting the grief pass by, remembering all the moments that had made up their past.

  And slowly, Harley felt better.

  And then Benny grabbed her spoon and held up a melted bite of ice cream, bumping her lips with it on purpose and making her laugh, and everything felt normal again.

  Better than normal.

  Like somehow their lifelong friendship and this new and awkward thing between them had finally merged.

  They were busy trying to feed each other drippy ice cream and laughing about it when Benny’s hand caught hers and his eyes dipped to her lips, making something zing from her neck to her toes.

  He leaned forward, and she tilted her face up to him, desperate for his kiss.

  As his lips closed over hers, her entire body reacted as though he were touching her everywhere and not just on her lips.

  Her chest was pressed up against him, his arms surrounding her, pressing her back into the booth. As his tongue slipped into her mouth, she didn’t care if anyone was looking, but she was glad he was her shield so she could totally melt.

  She sighed against his lips as his hand moved to her shoulder, bringing back heated memories of last night.

  And then his phone buzzed, interrupting everything.

  Benny let out an irritated sigh as he pulled back from her, looking like it was the last thing in the world he wanted to do.

  He looked down at his phone and held it up to her.

  It was a text from Max.

  How are two of the
owners not here at opening?

  Harley laughed, realizing they had lost track of time. “Should we go, then?”

  Benny nodded, but there was still heat in his eyes. “We can continue this later.”

  “You better,” she said as Benny stood and then helped her up, leaving a generous tip for the store who had let them stay there for a good while.

  The owner smiled at them as they left.

  Despite Max’s worry, they got back to the club in time to open, and Benny went back to check on mail while the others took care of the bar and the line.

  He needed time to think, to process everything that was happening.

  Every time he kissed Harley, he felt delusional for even thinking it was possible to do such a thing.

  But her lips, her breath, her warmth… all of it was so real.

  He opened one of the letters as he walked back to his office, and when he saw one was from the state tax commission, asking for some documentation, he groaned.

  He walked over to his desk, pulling out a file of important documents, and began to rifle through it, looking for what he would need.

  As he rummaged through, he saw something flutter to the ground beneath him.

  Rolling his eyes, he bent to pick it up, but when he saw what was in his hand, he dropped it like it had burned him.

  It was an old, familiar news article about a couple killed in an animal attack.

  He stared down at it for a moment, wondering why he had even kept it. Why it was in his file. It was old and graying and—

  He heard a knock on his door and quickly grabbed the clipping so no one could see it, shoving it back into the folder and dropping the file back into his drawer.

  He looked up just in time to see Lock entering, a puzzled expression on his face.

  His amber eyes fixed on Benny curiously. “Am I interrupting something?”

  Benny shook his head. After seeing that article, he still had a pit in his stomach the size of the Mariana Trench, but he didn’t want Lock to know about it.

  And over time, he’d gotten pretty good at hiding his feelings.

  “Just thought I’d come check on you,” Lock said, thankfully taking a seat on a chair instead of the couch where… where…

  Lock crossed one leg over the other. “You seem really distracted.”

  “Sorry,” Benny said, picking up the letter from the tax commission. “Audit stuff. You know how stressful it is.” He set the letter down. “How are things with you? I should have checked in more.” He felt calm come over him as he assumed his regular, friendly façade.

  “Good,” Lock said, though he was still studying his friend like he was worried about him. “Better than I had ever thought things could be.”

  Benny grinned, genuinely happy for his friend. Though a lot of people misjudged Lock, Benny had always felt he was a good person. He was glad to be proven right. “You both deserve amazing things.”

  “You do too,” Lock said, raising an eyebrow. “How are things with Harley?”

  Benny took a deep breath. If he and Harley were really going to make a go of things, he couldn’t keep everyone out. “Good. Really good.” He felt his cheeks warm and was grateful he’d carefully cleaned the office this morning, disguising any scent they might have left, even from a nose like Lock’s.

  Lock grinned, leaning back in his chair. “So you finally made a move?”

  Benny nodded. “No details, though. I’m not going to kiss and tell.”

  “Boring,” Lock said, but he was joking.

  Benny had to admit it felt good to finally have something to tell in the romance department.

  It made him feel normal, just for a little while.

  Lock’s brows furrowed. “But what changed? With your bear, you were determined not to make a move. I know you would never hurt her, but—”

  Benny leaned back in his chair, throwing his hands in the air. “Why does everyone seem to know that but me?” He shook his head. “If you aren’t a dire, you can’t understand it.”

  “If it’s so dangerous, then what changed? Did you find something that helps?”

  Benny frowned, unsure what he should say. “Not yet, but Fifi’s looking around.”

  Lock nodded. “So that’s why he’s looking so cagey.”

  “Yes. He’s hoping he can help out.”

  Lock was quiet for a long moment, looking at nothing in particular. Then his eyes met Benny’s. “You’re right. I can’t understand. But you’ve been a huge influence in my life, and I want you to know you have my support. No matter what. You call anytime, and I’ll be there to help you.”

  Benny swallowed. It was hard to accept help from others. Hard to even imagine them wanting to help. It was much more comfortable to help them instead. But he nodded, appreciating Lock’s friendship. “Thank you. I will.”

  Lock stood, stretching, and relaxed, grinning ear to ear. “And if you need sex tips, since I know you’re totally a virgin—”

  “Get out!” Benny bit out, flushing embarrassingly deep. “Right now!”

  Lock laughed. “Sure thing, boss.”

  He turned to go, still chuckling, when Benny realized he did have something to ask.

  “Wait,” he said, and Lock turned to face him patiently. “Can you lock up tonight? I have… something to do.”

  Lock’s lips spread in a wicked grin. “Something or someone?”

  Benny grabbed a paperweight from his desk and flung it at the door. For some reason, anyone even joking about him and Harley made him instantly react.

  Lock dodged easily, laughing. “All right, boss. Of course I’ll lock up.” He saluted. “It’s in the name after all.”

  Then he was gone before Benny could say anything more.

  Benny slumped back in his chair, trying to suppress a grin from the ludicrous situation. He took a deep breath and looked out his window, trying to calm himself.

  He needed to focus so he could plan his next date with Harley.

  It needed to be really special, just like her.

  Chapter 10

  “So where are we headed?” Harley asked, sitting in the passenger seat of Benny’s truck as he drove them to someplace unknown.

  All she knew was that he’d approached her in the middle of their shift at Club Crimson and asked if she wanted to “go somewhere quiet” with him.

  Of course she said yes.

  “Like I said, it’s a secret,” he replied, a hint of a smile curving his lips. As good as he had been at hiding his pain, hiding his past from her, he’d always been a terrible liar when he was excited.

  Harley hadn’t been this far outside the city in a long time. Probably since her childhood, in fact. A while back, they’d passed the sleepy suburbs and dimly lit outskirts, leading them out into a never-ending sea of pine forest that stretched on limitlessly before them, illuminated only by the headlights of Benny’s truck.

  Far above, the moon cast the wall of trees and surrounding hills in a beautiful, eerie blue glow.

  It was hard not to be reminded of dozens, maybe hundreds, of drives she and Benny had taken like this together. Whenever they were happy, whenever they were sad or times were hard—especially when times were hard—they would hop in Benny’s truck and drive aimlessly through the woods surrounding her childhood home. Then they’d find a spot to park and just sit and watch the stars while they talked.

  It had always been one of their great shared loves, the outdoors. A sense of adventure and newness and being one with nature that she’d always had since her childhood and that Benny had only further encouraged and brought out in her.

  The truck swayed as it hit a bump, and Benny slowed, the sound of gravel and dirt beneath the tires signaling they were now officially off the beaten path. On the left and right, thick trunks and low-hanging branches embraced them in a blanket of darkness. They drove for a few minutes more, when suddenly the canopy opened outward, displaying a glittering night sky on full display above them.

  When Benny stopp
ed the truck and put it in park, it took Harley’s eyes a second to adjust. But when she did, she realized they were in the center of a small meadow, surrounded by trees. She rolled down the window, and cool night air drifted in, carrying on it a million scents she could barely decipher as a human, scintillated and enlivened nonetheless.

  If nostalgia could be bottled up and served to her as an adult, this would be it. There had been no end to the forests that encircled the town where she’d grown up. And Benny, who apparently had lived in the adjacent county before coming to live with her, had enjoyed plenty of exposure to nature as well.

  “Well, here we are,” Benny exclaimed, slapping one hand on his thigh.

  “And where are we?” she asked, curious.

  “Nowhere.” His grin as his eyes met hers was infectious, and she felt her entire body warm from head to toe. “But that’s not all. Here, I’ll help you out.”

  “I got it,” she exclaimed, too excited to sit in one place. She opened her door and hopped out, the feel of soft ground and knee-high grass tickling her shins delightful.

  When Benny got out, he headed to the back of the truck, and she followed. He unlocked the cover and unraveled it back, revealing a big inflatable bed covered with blankets and a couple sleeping bags. To the side, a medium-size cooler and a backpack sat unassumingly, waiting to reveal whatever mysteries they held in store.

  Benny had planned all this for her?

  He pushed himself up onto the truck bed and offered a hand for Harley to take. She did, heaving up to stand next to him, feeling incredibly tall over the meadow beneath.

  “Have a seat,” he offered with a wave of his hand, and she plopped onto the inflatable, bouncing a bit as she lay flat on her back.

  “Wow, this really is like old times,” Harley exclaimed, feeling warm in spite of the chilly air. Feeling so close to Benny as memories flooded her mind like floating buoys.

  Benny chuckled. “Yeah. Only, back then, all we had was a couple beat-up blankets. And my old truck could barely fit two people in the back, let alone a queen-size inflatable bed like this.”

  Harley propped herself up on her elbows to look at Benny, who seemed like a real-life mountain man in his red and black flannel. “You’re right. This is definitely better.”