Beast Battles

by Tom Nicoll

“You can’t run all day,” she hissed.

  “You’d be surprised,” said Kiwi.

  “It’s time to put you on ice,” yelled a voice behind Kiwi. There was a thud as Kiwi was struck in the back. Frostin had snuck up behind him and now a sheet of ice extended from his paws to Kiwi’s back, locking him in place.

  “REF, COME ON!!!” Max, Hungrabun and I all yelled together.

  As Kiwi tried unsuccessfully to move, Ignita smiled and said, “You’re fired,” before opening her jaws and exhaling a huge blast of fire.

  Kiwi was a goner.

  In that he was gone, I mean, not that he was dead.

  In fact, he hadn’t even gone that far. He stood next to Ignita, watching the dragon continue to blow fire at the spot where he’d just been standing. It took a good few seconds for Ignita to notice him. When she did, the fire from her breath petered out.

  “Wh-what?” she stammered. “How?”

  “I just took off my coat,” said Kiwi casually, pointing to the charred remains of his red puffer jacket. “Don’t think I’ll be wearing it again. Hey, what happened to your friend?”

  That’s when we all saw it. Next to the jacket was a large puddle. Ignita let out a gasp and rushed towards it. “Frostin! My friend! Nooooooo!”

  Kiwi walked over beside her. “I know how you feel,” he said. “I loved that jacket.”

  He gave Ignita a sympathetic pat on the back. Unfortunately for Ignita, it was a little too hard and she went face first into the puddle. The water didn’t seem to agree with the fiery dragon, judging by her screams and the steam rising off her. After a moment or two, Ignita had completely vanished.

  The bell rang. The crowd exploded into cheers. Hungrabun, Max and I exchanged the same stunned looks.

  We had won.

  “Kiwi, that was incredible!” said Hungrabun when we got to the backstage area.

  “Really?” said Kiwi. “I mostly just took off my jacket.”

  “The way you set them up like that, genius!” she said. “Using their powers against each other. I mean, thinking about it, I’m not sure how good an idea it is to be in a team where the other creature can accidentally kill you.”

  “Oh, they’re not dead,” said Shilla, pulling up in a dune buggy. “The medical team are pouring Frostin into a mould. A few days in the freezer, he’ll be right as rain. Speaking of rain, Ignita should be turning into it soon, and then she’ll turn back into her old form. Dragons are weird creatures. Anyway, jump in, we need to get you over to the next arena for the semi-finals.”

  Somehow, we were still in the tournament and still in with a shot of escaping the game. Our next opponents were Electric Dreams. They consisted of a toad-like creature called Flipswitch, who had an electric tongue, and a boar dressed in a cape and top hat. This was Hypnohog, who apparently was a master of hypnosis.

  The arena at the beach had been hot but the new one was even worse. The stadium looked like it had been built from granite and rubble and it was surrounded by a moat of red-hot molten lava.

  “The Brimstone Bowl,” said Hungrabun as the buggy crossed a bridge into the arena. “We’re in the middle of an active volcano.”

  “Is that safe?” asked Max.

  “If you care about safety you don’t sign up for the Battles,” I replied.

  “Well put,” said Hungrabun.

  Inside the Brimstone Bowl, we found ourselves once again in a familiar room complete with TV, couch and whiteboard.

  “I’ll be back later to bring you out,” said Shilla. “So, just chill or train or whatever it is you creatures do when you’re not fighting. Oh yes, I almost forgot – there’s a stand just down the corridor where you can choose your new items.”

  “Ooh, let’s go do that,” said Kiwi.

  Hungrabun didn’t need any persuading.

  “Those two seem to be getting on better at least,” I said as they rushed off.

  “Mmm,” mumbled Max. He seemed distracted.

  “You OK?” I asked.

  “Sorry?” he said. “Oh yeah. I’m fine. I was just thinking about the Shapeshifters again.”

  “Still?” I said.

  He nodded. “Something about how they glitched keeps nagging at me. I can’t put my finger on it.”

  “Max,” I said. “I once played a game where the car I was driving changed into a giant peanut.”

  Max squinted his eyes. “O-K,” he said.

  “My point is,” I said. “These are video games. Bugs happen. No point in getting obsessed over them. We need to be concentrating on our next match. You know, so we can maybe get home.”

  “You’re right,” he said. “And we’re not in for an easy time. Electric Dreams are a dangerous combination.”

  “We’ll just have to be more dangerous-er,” I said. “What we really need are items to counter their shock attacks and hypnosis.”

  “Er… Right,” agreed Max. “We should probably go tell the team that before Kiwi gets himself another useless jacket.”

  “To be fair,” I said, closing the dressing-room door behind us. “Without the jacket we would have lost that match for sure. Maybe he does know what he’s doing?”

  We made our way down the corridor and quickly discovered that Kiwi hadn’t bought himself a new coat.

  “I got new trainers!” he shouted, pointing at his feet, which were now encased in a pair of white sneakers with red lightning bolts on the sides.

  Max and I frowned. “Or maybe he doesn’t know what he’s doing,” I said.

  “Do they at least make you go faster?” asked Max.

  “Nope,” said Hungrabun, grinning. “They just make him look cooler.”

  “Why didn’t you stop him?” I asked.

  Hungrabun shrugged. “He sacrificed his jacket to win us the last match, so I figured he deserved something nice. Besides, don’t worry, I got us something that might actually come in useful.”

  She held up a shiny metal shield.

  “It’s got plus ten defensive powers,” she said.

  Max looked at me blankly. “Is that good?”

  “It’s definitely better than a pair of trainers,” I said. “Anyway, let’s get back to the dressing room and figure out our game plan. I’ve got some ideas I want to write up on the whiteboard…”

  We headed back along the corridor.

  “That’s weird,” said Max, pointing at our door, which was wide open. “Didn’t you close that?”

  I narrowed my eyes. “Yeah, I did.”

  The four of us peered inside and let out a collective gasp.

  “Someone’s trashed the place!” I yelled.

  The TV was smashed to smithereens, all that was left of the couch was shreds of material and the whiteboard was snapped in half.

  “Oh no, that’s terrible,” squeaked a voice behind us.

  We spun round to see Pheasel and Guggernaut standing there with fake sympathetic looks on their faces.

  “You did this,” said Hungrabun, her little paws shaking.

  “Us?” said Pheasel pretending to look shocked. “How could you even suggest such a thing? Why, Guggernaut and I were just going to our next match and thought we’d pop in on the way to wish you good luck. Right, Guggernaut?”

  Guggernaut looked confused. “I thought you said we were going to pop in and smash up their dressing room?”

  Pheasel rolled his eyes. “No… That wasn’t us, remember? We got here and it was already like this. REMEMBER?”

  Guggernaut screwed up his face in thought. “Right … yeah … I remember now. You said we’d smash up their room but tell them we didn’t. I remember now, boss.”

  Pheasel closed his eyes and rubbed his temple. “You’re hard work sometimes, Guggernaut, you really are.”

  “We’ll report you for this,” I said.

  “I bet they’ll disqualify you from the tournament,” added Max.

  “Oh yeah?” snapped Pheasel. “And just who exactly is going to be the one to tell Guggernaut that he’s out? Even if peop
le weren’t terrified of upsetting him, we’re the stars of this tournament. When you’re a star, you can get away with anything. I mean, do you really think you’re the first team we’ve ever done this to? Anyway, we’ll leave you now, I can see you have some tidying up to do. Best of luck in your match.”

  Pheasel and Guggernaut walked away sniggering.

  Hungrabun let out a scream. “They’re horrible!” she said. “Pheasel wouldn’t be anything without Guggernaut. Why are you so calm?”

  She was looking at Kiwi who, unusually, hadn’t said a word in all this. “It’s just mind games,” he said. “You can’t let them get in your head: that’s what they want. Ask yourself, why would they do this?”

  Hungrabun threw up her paws. “Because they’re the worst?”

  “Because they’re scared,” said Max. “Or Pheasel is at least.”

  “Scared of us?” said Hungrabun.

  “Of course he is,” I said. “He’s already seen you beat two teams no one thought you could beat. But you basically did it individually. He must be worried what will happen if you two ever figure out how to work as a team.”

  Hungrabun and Kiwi looked at each other.

  A scary grin formed on Hungrabun’s face. “Then he should prepare to be terrified,” she said. “Because that’s exactly what’s going to happen.”

  “We need to get past Electric Dreams first,” said Max.

  Gears started turning in my head. “Hey, Kiwi, let me see those trainers again,” I said. “And Hungrabun, I need to have a look at that shield…”

  “Having a stadium inside a volcano is a terrible idea.”

  Max had a point. As we came out into the ring by crossing a stone walkway, bursts of lava from the surrounding moat snapped at our feet. The spectators in the stone-carved stands around us also seemed to be a little on edge, especially those in the front row who had to keep diving out the way of splashes of molten rock.

  Despite this, the crowd showed their appreciation for the Super Fluffy Animals by drowning out the roar of the volcano with their cheers. I could even see loads of creatures wearing red puffer jackets like the one Kiwi had worn in the last round.

  Across the ring stood the meanest-looking toad I had ever seen. Flipswitch was green and had a yellow mohawk. Next to him was the sinister Hypnohog, dressed in a black cape and top hat.

  Creepiest. Team. Ever.

  As the announcer began the introductions, the Super Fluffy Animals gathered for a last-minute team talk.

  “All right,” I said. “Hungrabun’s stomach is still bothering her, so we’re going to have to play this one smart. Everyone’s clear on the plan?”

  Hungrabun and Kiwi nodded.

  “Are you sure this is going to work?” Max asked me, sidestepping a splash of lava.

  “Definitely,” I said. Possibly, I thought. “The key is to work as a team. Do that and we’ll be unstoppable. Now, who’s going first?”

  “Kiwi is,” said Hungrabun.

  “… Super Fluffy Animals!” yelled the announcer, signalling it was time to get things started. Seconds later, the bell rang and Kiwi squared off against Hypnohog.

  Hypnohog’s main skill was his ability to hypnotise his opponents. With our TV wrecked we hadn’t been able to watch his last match ourselves, but we had received word that he had managed to mesmerize the members of the other team into fighting each other, while he and Flipswitch drank smoothies and played cards.

  “Remember to avoid eye contact,” I shouted, ducking under a lump of molten rock that flew overhead. Luckily, Kiwi was a step ahead of me. At the first sign of Hypnohog trying to meet his gaze, Kiwi was gone. Moments later Hypnohog tumbled to the ground as Kiwi barged into him from behind. The boar then sprang to his feet but Kiwi had already vanished. This sequence repeated itself several times, with the crowd cheering more and more wildly.

  A frustrated Hypnohog looked close to breaking, until I saw a glint in his eye. “I really like your shoes,” he said.

  “You do?” said Kiwi, reappearing. “They’re pretty cool, aren’t they? I got them from the stall backstage.”

  “Kiwi, no!” the three of us yelled, but it was too late. Eye contact had been made.

  “You are under my spell,” said the boar, waving his trotters in the air as his eyes spun round and round.

  “OK,” I said, looking at Hungrabun. “No need to panic. We just have to move to plan B.”

  Hungrabun nodded and took off the shiny shield she had bought from the stall. “Let’s hope your idea works,” she said, flinging the shield into the ring. “Hey, Kiwi, catch!”

  Thankfully the hypnosis hadn’t completely taken hold yet, and Kiwi still had the awareness to catch the shield. Perhaps it was the concentration required to put someone under, but at first Hypnohog didn’t seem to notice that he was no longer looking into Kiwi’s eyes. Instead, he was looking into his own eyes in the reflection of the shield.

  Moments later, Kiwi peered out from behind the shield at Hypnohog, who was just standing there, swaying slightly.

  “Are you all right?” asked Kiwi.

  “How can I obey you?” he replied in a strange monotonous voice.

  Kiwi scratched his head. “Well, I suppose it would help us if you just … went home?”

  “As you command,” replied Hypnohog, and off he went.

  “Where are you going?” yelled Flipswitch. “You can’t just leave me.”

  But that’s exactly what Hypnohog did, quickly making his way out of the ring and then the arena. An enraged Flipswitch came forward and fired her tongue at Kiwi, whipping it halfway across the ring. Kiwi reacted just in time, bringing up the shield. Flipswitch’s tongue made a thwack sound as it stuck to the metal, before snapping back, snatching the shield from Kiwi’s wings.

  “You won’t be needing this,” she said, flinging the metallic disc out of the ring and into the molten lava.

  “Hey, that was mine!” yelled Hungrabun.

  Flipswitch wasn’t about to apologize though. She whipped her tongue at Kiwi again, this time catching him on his right wing. Kiwi tried to pull away, but the grip was too tight.

  “Oh no,” said Max. “She’s going to use her shock attack.”

  “That’s what we’re counting on,” I said. I just hoped I had got this right.

  We watched as sparks flew from Flipswitch’s mouth, travelling along her tongue and into Kiwi, at which point … nothing happened.

  “Phew! That didn’t hurt a bit.” Kiwi grinned.

  “Flo, you were right!” said Max.

  After examining Kiwi’s shoes backstage I realized that the soles were made of rubber. I had once helped my mum fix her computer and I remembered having to wear these special wristbands that stopped static electricity from damaging the circuits. Following the same principle I guessed that Kiwi’s rubber soles would be enough to stop electricity from passing through him.

  Flipswitch’s face was a mixture of confusion and fear. After a few seconds of not knowing what to do next, it seemed to dawn on her that she had other moves at her disposal. She flicked her tongue, flinging Kiwi high into the air, then bringing him crashing down on to the mat.

  Then she did it again.

  And again.

  And again.

  The fourth time, the impact was enough to break Flipswitch’s grip as Kiwi tumbled free, landing inches from Hungrabun.

  Kiwi sat up, rubbing his head. “OK, that DID hurt a bit,” he said as he tagged her in.

  “You’re going to regret hurting my friend,” Hungrabun told Flipswitch, as she slipped into Kiwi’s trainers.

  “She called me friend,” grinned Kiwi as Max and I helped him to his feet.

  “Not as much as you’re going to regret tagging in,” said Flipswitch to Hungrabun, whipping her tongue at the bunny, wrapping it round her left paw. Again she tried her shock attack and again, thanks to the trainers, it failed. To emphasize the point Hungrabun slammed a foot down on Flipswitch’s tongue.

  Flipswit
ch let out a yell as her tongue wrapped back into her mouth.

  And then things happened very quickly.

  An enraged Flipswitch fired her tongue at Hungrabun.

  Hungrabun opened her jaws.

  Flipswitch, realizing she was about to have her tongue bitten off, snapped it back.

  Her tongue pulled a small boat out of Hungrabun’s stomach.

  Flipswitch did not get out of the way in time.

  As everyone stared in shocked silence at the boat lying on top of Flipswitch in the middle of the ring, the bell rang.

  “We did it!” yelled Kiwi, running to hug Hungrabun. Max and I joined them in the ring to celebrate.

  “Your winners, and advancing to the finals …” shouted the announcer, “… the…”

  The crowd, although fortunately not the volcano itself, erupted.

  “Now, let’s bring out the team they’re going to be facing in the finals,” continued the announcer. “Let’s hear it for Guggernaut and Pheasel.”

  The boos were deafening as Guggernaut and Pheasel made their way to the ring, neither of them looking particularly pleased.

  “Pheasel, would you like to say a few words about your upcoming match?” asked the announcer.

  Pheasel snatched the microphone. “All you people take a good look at your favourites, the Super Fluffy Animals. Because this is the last time you’ll ever see them in once piece.”

  The boos from the crowd intensified. The announcer waited for them to die down before handing the mic to Kiwi. “Strong words there, Kiwi. Anything you’d like to add?”

  “Yeah,” said Kiwi. “We got something to say. These guys think they can bully everyone. We’re not afraid of them. Come the final we’re going—”

  But Kiwi was unable to finish his sentence as Guggernaut crashed into his back, sending him flying across the ring. Hungrabun too was nailed from behind by Pheasel, knocking her to the ground. The crowd gasped in shock.

  Pheasel and Guggernaut stood over Kiwi and Hungrabun’s helpless bodies and laughed.