We Belong: MC Romance (Rattler Romance Book 1)

by Evie Bennet

  “Can’t you?” I asked, surprised by the hopefulness in my own voice. “I’m not sure about you and JR, but—”

  “Me and JR? No, no. We’d kill each other in a one-bedroom trailer like that, Shelly sleeping on the couch. He needs to get his shit together. I guess I could get another job.”

  Frowning, I folded back into myself. “Shelly said she works a lot, so I can imagine you do, too.”

  “Was she bitching about it?” The edge in Tamara’s voice was cotton candy dipped in steel.

  Getting in trouble was the last thing she needed.

  “N-no. I’m sorry. I meant it sounds like you have a lot of responsibility in Cleveland. Both of you. I’m not sure how you manage everything.”

  Tamara’s arms spread wide in a shrug, ice cream oozing. “I’m a great manager.” She dusted off my conservative, if cute, sweater. “Could offer my assistance here, if anybody needed it. Maybe if we had a job… well, hell, if we had a business here, a place of our own, I bet Shelly and I could stay.”

  Unsure what to say, I looked away. “Yeah, that makes sense.”

  “Sure might make Reed happy. Did he tell you he called me last year, asking for a place to stay?”

  Something squeezed my chest. It took significant effort not to dig my nails in or cry. “No.”

  “JR was giving him a hard time and you know Reed. He really loves his family.”

  “Yeah.” I had to breathe slowly and blink with concentrated effort.

  I couldn’t let her see me cry.

  I was his family.

  “What did you say to him?” At Tamara’s confused stare, I spoke up. “I mean, why didn’t you take him with you? Or let him stay?”

  Puffing out a breath, Tamara looked around, then seemed to look at the screen without really seeing or hearing anything else. “I don’t know. It wasn’t the right time, I guess. Kinda crowded in Cleveland and it never made sense to come back here.”

  How could it not be the right time for her son?

  Sniffling, I turned my face away, locking up my posture.

  “Reed always wanted Mommy and Daddy to get back together, you know? Play ‘perfect little family’.” Shards of pain stabbed through my chest. I ground my teeth to avoid feeling anything else.

  Tamara licked another long swipe along her cone. “But who knows? Now that he’s got a cute little biker bride, who owns her own shop and her own house, maybe we have a shot at getting everybody back together. What do you think?”

  Anxiety raged in my brain. “I don’t think there is a perfect family. I think there are just people who choose to love and support each other.”

  “How right you are.” Tamara snapped a third of the cone off with her teeth, crunching and rolling it into her mouth as she watched me.

  Was this a test?

  I tugged at my sleeve. “So you wouldn’t mind leaving Cleveland?”

  “Not if we found the right setup. I just want to see my kids happy.”

  Something twisted hard in my gut.

  I should have been happy they were together again and that she was willing to make amends. But Tamara left him. What kind of mother left her son with someone who couldn’t stay clean? Unless maybe she couldn’t stay clean herself? Still, to take one child and leave the other in the hands of someone who wouldn’t protect them…

  It wasn’t my family situation. I didn’t know them. I shouldn’t judge their choices when I had my own demons to face.

  They were here now, and they wanted help in order to stay together again. I could help Reed have the family he needed, the one he deserved. What kind of partner was I if I let Tamara leave the person I loved again?

  Moving numbers around for the hundredth time, I tried not to chew my lip. The sharp metallic punches of the calculator felt like seconds clicking off the clock. Lead shavings of my pencil scratched and swizzled across the page, none of it quite adding up the way I wanted it to. With a big sigh, I smoothed back my hair. The tension headache held its place.

  There had to be a way to fix this.

  Outside of my office, the door chime went off. As I slid back in my chair to go and greet the entrant, Reed’s voice boomed, “Special delivery!”

  All the tension in my muscles drained, replaced with excitement. “Reed!” I barely made it into the main chamber before he was scanning for me and angling his body towards my office. Surprised, but still with that crooked grin, he held his arms out to me. A to-go bag from Al’s hung from one hand. No one else was with him, so I assumed I could jump him with as much affection as I liked.

  “What are you doing in the office, babe? I thought you only go in there to tend to personal matters?” His mouth stamped its cute, firm mark on my lips and down to my jaw as he hoisted me up and carried me back to the office.

  “You’re not the only personal matter I can attend to.” I giggled, automatically spreading my legs so he could place me down on my desk. The food was still warm if the steam from the bag was any indication, but the friction of his jeans against my bare thighs made me needy for something else. As if reading my mind, he sent me a smug look.

  “Eat your fries.”

  Despite the temptation of the steaming bag beside us, I found myself more intrigued by the way his fingers traced the outside of my thighs, the press of his zipper against my crotch. The tiniest smirk played on his lips, his eyes dark and affectionate as he watched me drink all of him in. My fingers skimmed down his chest, bunching his shirt at his stomach. It would be so easy to pull him down for a kiss, for a fuck. But I liked the tension, the intimacy of looking at him for as long as I wanted and letting him see me. It made my skin tingle. My veins itched.

  I love you, I thought.

  I know, his little smile seemed to say, even as he fondly squeezed the underside of my thigh.

  As he leaned down, I closed my eyes, tilting my head in preparation for a kiss.

  I tried to ignore the cruel voice in my head that called me a slut for wanting him. The good little girl that Dale always demanded be obedient and quiet was more than happy to service the Rattler Judge with a smile. I basked in Reed’s attention, the press of his lips to my cheeks and brow.

  “What’s this you’re working on?” He bypassed my mouth to move the calculations and papers by my chair, most likely in preparation to lay me out on the desk.

  “Oh. Just… numbers.” I shrugged, wiggling my legs and facing towards him again in the hopes I’d get a nice hug or inspire him to send the papers flying to fuck me before we ate our fries.

  “I can see that.” He pulled back a little, affection present and dangling just out of reach. “Numbers for what?”

  “I’m trying to see if I can afford to hire someone.” The truth made me squirm a little to avoid his gaze. If I wanted to avoid telling him the whole reason, maybe I shouldn’t do it. I hated feeling twisted. I never wanted to hide anything from him, not really, and certainly not anything huge like this.

  “You need assistance? I’ve been told I’ve got a great set of hands,” he teased, wrapping my waist in his huge grip.

  “Reed!” I grinned, squirming. As tempting as the offer was, I knew I couldn’t take him up on it. Not yet. Lying wasn’t a real option, either. I bit my lip, taking a deep breath before looking him in the eye and confessing, “I’m trying to see if I can afford to hire Tamara.”

  All pretense of teasing faded away, his expression harsh and confused. “Why?”

  Gripping the collar of his leather jacket, I tried to hold onto the logic of it. “She implied that maybe if she had a job, she and Shelly could stay.”

  He kept searching my face, looking for something. But what? His furrowed brow and the slight frown weren’t exactly indicators that he was happy about it, even if he didn’t seem angry.

  “What do you think, Reed?” In the ensuing hesitation, I couldn’t suppress the urge to explain. “I thought maybe if they could afford a bigger place or if we helped them find one closer to West Ridge, you might like having everyone t
ogether.” My voice dropped off, suddenly feeling very small. “I thought I’d try to do the math before I brought it up. We could do it together, if you want to.”

  I bit my lip, too afraid to look at the intensity of his gaze anymore. Why was my anxiety so high? I was getting married to the love of my life, who loved me in return, and his family might be able to stay so why was he looking at me like that?

  Why did it feel like I was failing? Why did I feel so helpless?

  “Betty.” His thumb stroked the side of my miserable face. When his voice was soft like that, it made me want to curl up in a hug, maybe cry. “I love you.” It was a fact. Not a thanks. Not excitement. Not even a ‘let’s do this together’.

  An objection hung unspoken between us for a moment before he found whatever he wanted to say.

  “You’re not responsible for my happiness. I mean, you are, but not like this. You don’t owe me some kind of fixed family.”

  “I’m not trying to fix it,” I mumbled, voice cracking as I realized that was exactly what I was trying to do.

  “Yes, you are. You’re part of this family but you aren’t obligated to bail them out for the years they’ve spent squandering shit. You think JR or Tamara ever asked me what I wanted or did the math to try and figure out if I could go to school? They never even fixed the fire alarm! I’m so grateful you care about this family more than they did, but I can’t let you invest in them if they’re just going to hurt us again.” He stroked my back as he pulled me in for a hug, muffling my shallow breathing and wet eyes with his chest. We stayed like that, holding each other for a few minutes until my breathing settled.

  “I just want to make you happy.”

  “You do.”

  Trembling, I nodded.

  Okay, I wouldn’t do it, then. I wouldn’t fix anything.

  No one was home when I got home from work, which made me a little nervous. I texted Reed and surprisingly didn’t get a response or even a checkmark that he’d read it. The Rattlers wouldn’t have him working much the week of his wedding so I tried to figure out where else he could be.

  It was probably too early for Al’s and he’d already had that for lunch, anyway. On instinct, I grabbed some of the leftover muffins and headed over to the trailer. If I was going to be a stalker, I might as well be a thoughtful one who brought gifts. JR’s truck was gone, but Tamara’s dusty car and Reed’s motorcycle were in the parking lot. It was possible they’d all gone out together for dinner, but I approached the trailer just in case, holding my plate of muffins to the side as my fist raised to knock on the door.

  It seemed like a nice gesture to bring muffins and a smile but now that I was there, I wondered if they’d think I was a needy space cadet. Reed loved my muffins and my smile, though, and I loved him, so maybe it wouldn’t be so bad.

  Before I could make contact with the door, Reed’s sharp voice startled me out of my musings.

  “She’s not some sugar momma for your crazy plans! She’s my wife!”

  The phrase knocked the breath out of me. I saw stars. I was his wife now.

  As they continued to argue, I blinked, correcting myself.

  I would be his wife. Soon.

  It was exciting that he already thought of me that way. A little dazed, I hesitated, not sure if I should knock or head back to the car or just sit down and listen.

  “You think money will fix what you did to our family?”

  “Oh, it’s all my fault, huh? It’s my fault your dad became a fall-down drunk and it’s my fault we couldn’t hold down a job in this podunk town. And what exactly have you done for this family? You don’t know shit about being responsible for anybody or crapping out in a marriage. You think there’s some glory in it? You think you have all the answers? What exactly were you hoping to happen all these years? That love would just fix everything? That I’d open my eyes and realize what I’d left behind? A drunk husband who could barely keep his eyes open, a town that always thought I was trash, and a son who couldn’t even fake being happy? You can’t judge me for wanting a stake in this town, a reason to come back and a reason to stay. It’s not just for me. Think of Shelly. I have a business—”

  “You mean the chop shop where you use minors for the shit you don’t want to get caught with? And before you blame Shelly, keep in mind she didn’t phrase it that way, but I’m smart enough to figure it out. I will not let you use Betty to snake your way into a job you have no intention of doing.”

  “Here we go. The second somebody doesn’t live up to your fantasy, you lash out. Grow up, Reed! You think blondie’s gonna live up to your crazy perfect greaser housewife expectations? That she’s gonna love being tied to a guy who’s always two steps away from being cuffed by the law? No. This is real life, and twenty years from now, she could leave just like I did. And what would you tell her then, if she asked your friend for a job? A place in their business? Would you tell her to fuck off and mind her own business? Or would you grow a pair and accept that it’s an opportunity for her to come back for you to be a family again?”

  The trailer thundered with his shout. “Betty wouldn’t leave me!”

  Haunted, I wanted to pry into the trailer, to hold him, assure him that of course I wouldn’t.

  They must have been so swept up in the argument that they didn’t hear me try the handle. Unfortunately, it was locked. I couldn’t exactly pick it open with one hand and putting the muffin plate down on the ground seemed like a bad idea.

  Tamara’s voice stayed even-keeled. “You might not be so confident when you get hit with hard time. I know you’re no angel, Reed. Even if she thinks your lifestyle is charming now, when you’re not there at night, it doesn’t matter how in love you are. That breaks people.”

  “Not Betty.” Exhausted resignation hung off every syllable.

  “You don’t know that. She’s all alone, Reed. She might need people like me and Shelly to keep her straight.”

  “No. I won’t leave her. Not for the Rattlers, not for anybody.”

  It weighed on me with some gravity I wasn’t fully sure I understood. In the silent wake of his declaration, I knocked.

  “Reed?”

  The soft sound of shuffling preceded a flick of the lock and Reed opened the door, his shoulders hanging down as if he’d been fighting for hours.

  “Baby.”

  Obviously, I’d heard at least the tail end of their conversation. I reached out with my free hand to cup his cheek to let him relax into me, his tension melting away into resolve.

  Tamara sighed irritably, so I quickly stepped inside to kiss Reed and offer a flash of a smile.

  “I brought muffins.”

  “Of course you did.” Crossing her arms, Tamara looked at the blanket-covered window as if she was so familiar with the view, the obstruction didn’t matter.

  “Thank you, Betty,” Reed announced a little loudly.

  Clearing my throat, I shuffled closer to Reed, still not putting the baked goods down. “I wasn’t sure if you had dinner yet or if JR needed breakfast items for the impromptu visit. I just thought it might be nice for you to have something to snack on for the next few days.”

  “Yeah, well, don’t count on it. Reed’s made it abundantly clear we’re not welcome in West Ridge.”

  Spinning to check he was okay, I leaned into his chest. The annoyed glare he sent his mother made me want to warm his whole body.

  “If you’re legitimately happy for us and are interested in me and Betty beyond a joint bank account, you’re welcome to celebrate with us at the wedding.”

  “Huh. Nice. What do you think of this, Betty? You think I’m trying to use you for some nefarious plan?” It was such an awkward situation that I tensed my shoulders, nervously looking back up to Reed’s furrowed brow for a cue. “You think it’s normal for a son to block his mom from his wedding for even talking about things that might allow her and his baby sister to move back to town?”

  Hesitant, I shook my head. When Reed’s fingers started to cleave
into my shoulder blades, I managed to find my voice.

  “I don’t think Reed and I are comfortable with business being what brings you back together, but I’m also hoping that isn’t going to keep you apart. We’ve loved having Shelly, and I think we both want to get to know you better. Reed’s amazing. He’s worth coming back for. He’s worth staying for.”

  The smooth caress of his fingers made me want to lean into him, absorb as much of him as I could. We belonged together. A swallow was loud in my own ears, an attempt to rebalance.

  Tamara leveled us with an even gaze. “We’ll see.”

  It wasn’t exactly a win, but at least Reed seemed to decide it had been enough fighting for one day. “JR and Shelly went out to the park. Should we meet them all down there? Or should Betty and I try to scrounge some dinner together for everybody?”

  “I can cook,” Tamara dryly volunteered. “Breakfast for dinner. Muffins for dessert.”

  The weird sense of survivalism actually made me smile. I wasn’t sure if it was a joke. Tamara probably had an odd sense of humor. Reed didn’t seem to care either way, massaging deeper into the continually sore spot between my neck and shoulder until I was practically melting under his touch.

  “Thank you, Tamara,” I said sincerely, taking Reed’s hand. “Just call us if you get lonely or anything.”

  “Pfft, yeah.”

  With renewed determination, I set the muffins on the table and hooked the blanket carefully on one side to let the light in. The sky faded into yellows and pinks. All its blues seemed to collect in the shadows of the trailer park.

  The snap of eggs against a metal pan drew my attention back to Reed. The week was going by so quickly. I wanted to remember it fondly and make it last. Clearly, Tamara didn’t want any help in the kitchen, so with a knowing glance at Reed, I settled down on the couch and made the bed.

  Maybe it was time to write again.

  16

  Touch