Beauty In The Beast

by Erik Schubach

  Chapter 4 – Beauty

  I still remember the day of the Harvest Celebration in Nottingham all these many years ago, like it was but yesterday. My brother and I had been spying on the puppet show, hidden on a wagon with our merry band of waifs, those of us too poor to properly enjoy the games that the celebration brought. There had been whispers of Lady Locksley, who had been a shut-in after the mysterious disappearance of her parents. That she had stepped back out into the world when injustices were wrought against her people by Sir Guy of Gisbourne and the Sheriff. Stories of how the Lady had defied Sir Guy and yet lived. It is obvious when I look back upon it now, that she had been the Hood of Locksley, but back then, it was such a mystery as to who the avenging archer had been. It is said that all in Locksley had already suspected, but none ever spoke of it because her people loved her with a passion. And here, this woman who was larger than life to me, had spied us in our hiding place and called us to her. She proved to be the Lady of compassion that was rumored in the whispers on the wind. She gave us coin to eat and watch the puppet show properly, with the sons and daughters of the nobles. Unknown to her, it had also been my thirteenth birthday, and this was a gift beyond compare to me. She stood as an example to me, of what I aspired to be. It was at that moment in time that I vowed I would be like the Lady Locksley, to follow the example of strength and compassion that she showed at every juncture. When we heard the commotion from the archery range and heard the rumors shooting through the crowds like wildfire, that the Hood of Locksley had arrived and was battling against the guards. I heard cheering and people shouting about the Hood. I and my merry band, twisted our way through the crowd as only we could, to watch the commotion the archer had wrought. Sir Guy and the Sheriff moved past with Maid Marion in tow. They sent men to stop the Hood, who I saw was moving through the commotion at unnatural speeds. I grabbed a stick from Jack, and squatted and tripped up a guard who was rushing toward the green cloaked blur. The man's face met the ground forcefully, not being able to break the fall with his arms as the crowd started grappling with him. I looked up as the Hood dove over the man, and at that moment, the light of the day made it through the shadows of the hood to reveal to me, the smiling face of Lady Locksley herself! She was the Hood of Locksley! She hit the ground in a roll and was on her feet running in the same instant. I saw a beautiful and pristine white feather drift out of her quiver and alight on the ground in her passing. I dove at it and pulled it to me protectively as the crowd surged in to attack the remaining guards. I was witnessing a revolution! That was the day that Nottingham fell, the day we were all freed from the oppression and crippling taxes and tithes that Gisbourne had subjugated our people to. I remember the searing heat of the feather in my hand as it pulsated. I could feel the power in it, and hid it away in the front pocket of my tattered dress. I knew it was important in some way to the Lady, and was determined to get it back to her. The township was in chaos the next few days, and the Prince had to send in troops to restore order. New leadership was installed, and things started to settle into a peace which Nottinghamshire had not experienced in my short lifetime at least. Dark days followed, Father had fallen ill, and I was not able to make my way to Lady Locksley yet, to return her talisman of power. I lost the only family I had to the plague that was sweeping through the village, except my little brother John. Little John and I found ourselves homeless, as the death taxes took the little hovel we called home. I did odd jobs around the village to keep John fed. Then I heard a rumor that the Lady Locksley and Maid Marion were speaking of going south in the guise of the Hood, toward London to fight injustices. I trekked to Locksley with little John, in an attempt to keep the promise I made myself, and return her property before the Lady left. We found that we were too late, that the women had already left to follow their calling. The former maid, Harriet, had been given a title and appointed the custodian of the Locksley holdings. She took pity on us and took us under her wing; giving us shelter, love, and a purpose. She embodied all I looked up to in Robyn of Locksley. The woman held the same ideals, and I knew why she was chosen custodian. I was no longer Belle of Nottingham, I was Belle of Locksley. Surrogate daughter of Harriet, who John and I had loved as a mother. I hid the feather away in a book which my father had cherished. One day I knew I would learn to read so I would know the joy he had when reading from it. I re-avowed that one day soon I would journey to find my Lady Locksley to return the talisman. I took to training to defend myself on my quest. First with a broomstick as I had no blade, then an old walking stick Harriet had dug out of the attic for me. It made a fine staff. But as happens, the days turned, and the weeks rolled by, season upon season, and the years drifted on as my vow fade into memory. It was upon my nineteenth birthday that I again pulled out my father's book. I rejoiced in reading the fascinating and entertaining tales that were contained within it. Then I turned a page, and a white feather slipped out of the book and drifted to my seat. I just stared at it and blanched. My forgotten promises came rushing back. I felt so guilty that I had allowed the happiness around me cloud my mind into forget my responsibilities. It was a blow to my honor. I lifted the feather, and it heated at my touch, it was such a blinding white. I got lost in it, the power pulsating, it held such tranquility, such peace. And I wept, knowing that peace, it was so beautiful in its simplicity. And all the pain in my life seemed to slip away, forgotten for the moment, and the enormity of that showed me just how damaged I was beneath my recent happiness. I closed the book and stared at the feather. I clasped it in my hand and was determined to do what I had started out to do. I used some twine to fashion a necklace of the feather. A constant reminder that I wouldn't rest until I returned that talisman of power. I went to Harriet and told her I must quest to find the Lady Locksley, to fulfill a promise made long ago. An odd thing happened. I felt all of her roiling emotions. A profound sadness tied to a motherly love that radiated from her. And under it all, an understanding in her soul and pride for me. I reached out to her with not only my hand, but with my heart, and I somehow took her pain on as my own, feeling the sorrow of losing someone she felt to be like her own daughter. And I offered her instead, the peace and tranquility the feather had shown me, and I let her see into my love for her. She was my mother in all but blood. It was later I learned that it was a gift of the talisman, that while I wore it, I was in tune with nature and the emotions of those around me. I could soothe the savage beasts of the forest and bring peace to those who were suffering emotional scars. The day came when I left little John, who was on the verge of manhood at fifteen. John had become a large, strapping young man by then, and for the first time in my life, I was alone as I embarked upon my quest. There were tears that day, I do not deny, but there was also an excitement I cannot explain. I was on an adventure for the first time in my life, venturing away from the same twenty square miles I had lived in my entire life. I was experiencing the world unknown to me in anything but stories. And I felt as though I finally had a purpose. The years rolled by as I searched endlessly, following every rumor of an avenging hooded vigilante who robbed those who oppressed others, and championed the people of the land. They called him a ghost, as no knights nor soldiers could locate him. The people of Britain had taken to calling him Robin Hood, because of an old tale the people of Nottingham told of an archer who stood champion for Lockley in the games, and had freed the people of Nottingham from oppressive rule, who had said his name was Robin. And the Hood seemed to possess the same uncanny archery skills. A woman in a mask fought by his side. I had to smile, knowing them to be Robyn of Locksley and Maid Marion. But it seemed that I would always arrive too late. People would speak of me just missing them by days and sometimes hours. It was as if the universe were working against me. I brought peace to all I met in my journeys. Taking the burden of their pain, their hatred, their fears upon myself. I heard of many great and sometimes frightening women who were rising up as the world became besieged by werewolves when the dark curse was released upon the world. I was
growing afraid that I may be cursed myself, as the years rolled on and I didn't seem to be aging as the world spun. I remember the first time I had come face to face with one of those abominations of nature, those wolves. I could always feel the wrongness of them every full moon, when they prowled thew world just outside the stone buildings and cellars, people hid in as the evil walked the world of man. It was in Essex while following the rumor of a cloaked archer when I found myself in a wolf cellar with a young family, who was kind enough to take me in for the last night of the Wolf Moon. The marauding pack in the area had been terrorizing the town for two nights, and on that third night, I sat with Kernan and Lisa Ingram and their daughter Alice to wait out the moon. Two people had been lost this Wolf Moon to the animals as they found their way into a butcher shop, and a panic room. The people of the town could not afford the silver which had been proven to harm the wolves. Little Alice had stopped breathing when we heard the first wolf digging at the earth around the heavy oak and iron doors of the cellar. I could taste the terror from Lisa and Alice, and the fear for his family and anger at the gods in Kernan. But what threatened to overwhelm my being was the blind rage, fury, and hunger driving the monsters outside. As dirt started to fall from the ceiling surrounding the stone wall by the doors, I felt as if I had failed my Lady. This was to be my death, or worse. All because of the unnatural demonic curse that plagued our modern world. Alice gripped her little white, stuffed toy rabbit, and I regained my wits. I felt my talisman heat up as I pulled all of their fear into me and offered all I could. “Be at peace.” They all calmed, I could give them this moment of serenity as my last act on this earth. Alice asked, “Are the monsters going to eat us?” I traded looks with her parents, and I lied, “No. They will be gone soon, then you will have so many grand adventures. Tea parties and fun and games. The limit is your imagination.” I smiled at her. “One day I 'll tell you of the misadventure of a boy I knew, Jack, with a cow and a bag of beans.” She nodded into her little white rabbit as she hugged it to her. Lisa pulled her daughter into a hug and just held her. Kernan gave me a nod of sad thanks. That's when the rocks began to crumble, and that is also when I saw my first werewolf. I had seen and communed with many wolves in my travels, they are actually quite beautiful and misunderstood creatures. They are only dangerous when hungry or threatened. But when I soothed them, they were actually quite loving creatures. But the creature whose eyes gleamed in the lantern light in the cellar was nothing like them. It was a true monster, both in size and intent. It wanted only to rend our limbs from our bodies and feast on our entrails. I could feel the driving need. And I could taste the sulfurous magics that drove it, black and twisted. It pulled its lips back, exposing fangs as long as my fingers, dripping with saliva that I knew had the ability to either kill or worse, to pass on the curse on to another, remaking them in its own demonic image. Kernan held a wooden pitchfork as he stood in front of his family as the monster prepared to leap. I closed my eyes, hoping it would be swift. And my talisman heated further on my chest, I could feel the chains that bound the person buried inside the wolf, choking, constricting. The pain and terror, knowing they were a monster but not knowing the evil they were perpetrating as the demon magics took over their form. I winced in pain, the feather was so hot it was burning my skin as my eyes snapped open, and I reached my hand out, grasping for all that pain of the person locked inside, and the rage of the wolf. I pulled it inside of me, and I felt myself slipping away, becoming that rage. My voice seemed to echo around the space as the monster snarled and growled. “Be at peace.” All of the peace and tranquility in me was pushed out by the evil I had pulled inside of me, not allowing it to escape back to the wolf. It hesitated and shook its head like it was trying to shake off water from its pelt. It backed off one step, blocking another wolf trying to claw its way in behind it. Then it whimpered and tucked its tail between its legs. The feather fought and consumed the urges inside me to use the evil and hateful feelings. Then I stepped forward and hissed out, “Be at peace!” Again I felt a ripple of power flow from me, that hit the wolves like a gentle but unyielding current, stripping away the rage. The wolves looked around, they whimpered and scrambled back out the way they had come. I could feel the others out there, their rage burning like a sun that I wanted to embrace as much as I wanted it extinguished. I wouldn't allow myself to be lost in it. I hesitated when I felt and heard the fear in Lisa's voice when she gasped out, “You're a witch! You commune with wolves!” I saw the fear and disgust on their faces, and it shamed me. But I couldn't allow anyone else to be harmed that night. I growled with some of the rage inside which was trying to consume me, “Block the hole!” Then I climbed out after the wolves. My chest was on fire and the white light of it which lit up the night was threatening to blind me. There were perhaps ten more wolves, and I screamed with the effort as I tore their negative emotions from them and embraced it all as my own as I screamed in pain and fury, “Be at peace!” It was a tsunami of energy that tore at my very soul which pulsed out of me. It slammed into the wolves who were charging at me, knocking them back and bringing them a tranquility they had never known. They looked confused then they all ran off into the woods, forgetting the driving need they had to kill, to eat, to wreak havoc. I watched them go with a sneer. I should follow, tear them limb from limb, I could kill them all. Kill all the people here, then I could... the smell of sulfur coming from myself, from the evil I had absorbed, brought me back to my senses. It had almost consumed me. The feather flared one last time, consuming all the darkness. Then it was all gone, and I fell to my knees gasping. I shook as I realized what I had been thinking after taking in so much evil. It scared me that it all seemed so simple. It would have been easy to give into it and revel in the carnage I could inflict. And it scared me more than anything in my life. It couldn't make me do anything I didn't have deep down inside could it? Was I a bigger monster than the werewolves? That's when... they... showed up the first time. I was startled out of my thoughts by a voice. “You have something you shouldn't.” I glanced up, and there were two men sitting on the stone wall of the cemetery a stone's throw away, kicking their feet as if they were just enjoying a summer day at the creek. Had they been there the whole time? Why had the wolves not torn them to pieces? They hopped down in unison and strode toward me as I staggered to my feet. The one who spoke earlier said, “Where are our manners? Jacob, my brother Wilhelm.” He moved his hand toward himself then to the other man. “And you must be Belle.” I gasped. “You shouldn't be out here, are you men mad? It is a Wolf Moon, the cursed are on the prowl.” The men looked at each other, furrowing their brows in thought, and the one who indicated himself as Jacob, asked, “Are we mad?” The other man seemed to seriously contemplate it and supplied, “It is a distinct possibility, but it depends on the definition being applied to the situation at hand.” Jacob nodded at the nonsense and added, “Our actions here would be indicative that. As we are... as she said, outside during a Wolf Moon, where no sane man would be.” They were. These two babbling buffoons were imbalanced, weren't they? Then he shook his finger as if he had come up with a brilliant conclusion. “But that would be operating under the false supposition that were are indeed men.” They grinned at each other and nodded like they had just deduced the true meaning of life and Jacob turned to me and said with the surety of a definitive answer, shaking a finger at me once, “Maybe.” These men were mad as hatters, and I was out in the middle of a night lit only by a full moon with them. That thought struck me as possibly more frightening than standing out in the open with werewolves stalking about. Then Jacob sobered and repeated, “You have something you shouldn't.” My hand absently touched my breastbone where the talisman rested under my dress. I winced, the skin felt tender, like that searing heat had burned my flesh. It had never burned as bright before. There was so much heat and power as it flared to meet the challenge of the wolves. It tested me and almost found me lacking as the dark emotions I brought into myself showed me the evil I was capable
of. I don't know how they knew, but I said defiantly, “I have something belonging to my Lady, and I am searching her out to return it.” Wilhelm said as he slowly shook his head, “It does not belong to Lady Locksley either.” I hesitated, my fear growing. I hadn't said my Lady was from Locksley. Who were these men really? That's when I noted that I couldn't taste their emotions, they were like a hole of nothingness in the world around them. That had never happened since I donned the feather talisman. I took a step back, accusing, “That's not for you to determine.” They exchanged a look and Jacob said, “Actually, it sort of is Belle of Nottingham... or is it Locksley now?” Wilhelm said with an almost kindness in his voice, “The burden you carry has a price that has already started to weigh you down. The woman you see as a mother, Harriet, has already passed as time has moved on while you remain static. Your brother has become a great leader of men in this time of Wolves. He has married, and his children have given him grandchildren. Yet you do not return to see the toll time has taken on those you love.” I flinched in almost physical pain over the news of Harriet. My heart beat faster hearing little John had become someone people look up to. But I couldn't watch through the window as I see life passing by on the other side for those I held dearest in my heart. Then Jacob said, “You do not need this overwhelming weight that is not yours to carry. Give the talisman to us, and you can live your life as nature intended. We were able to ignore the slight imbalance in the scales your having it caused, but tonight... tonight you learned of its true power and how to use it. That has thrown the scales too far out of balance.” I pressed my hand over my breastbone. I hissed out as I started walking away briskly, “None of this is any of your business. I don't know how you know about me and my quest, but I will hold myself to the promise I made. I will return to my Lady what is hers, and you can deal with her after that if you are foolhardy enough to challenge her bow.” Jacob said from in front of me where he and Wilhelm were leaning against a stone cottage, “If she infused the arrows with her Goddess' power then she could possibly be our end if she could hit us.” I was swinging my head back and forth between the wall they had been sitting on twenty-five feet behind me and where they leaned against the cottage thirty feet in front of me. How had they moved that distance in an instant? They pushed away from the wall and started to walk toward me. I felt seething fury, rage, and hunger approaching quickly. Wilhelm crouched almost casually, without taking his eyes off of me, and the werewolf who exploded from the darkness soared over him, missing as it twisted in the air, snapping at him with its razor sharp fangs. It landed and was instantly slashing its talon like claws at Jacob, who seemed to simply walk from side to side, almost lazily as the claws slashed empty air, again and again, moving almost too fast to follow. His eyes too were on me, as if he was expecting something. I was mesmerized by the dance before me, a lightning fast wolf, not able to touch thee two men who were just lazily moving around at a much slower rate. My mind couldn't fathom it, wouldn't the faster combatant have landed multiple strikes? I felt the frustration fueling the monster's rage until the men moved in such a way that the wolf saw me. Without hesitation, it dove at me snarling and snapping. I had a bare instant to realize they had done that on purpose, so the wolf would attack me. Were they just going to take the talisman from my dead body? My rage matched the wolf's as I screamed out, “Be at peace!” And that searing heat and light thrummed out from me in a wave which knocked the wolf from the air and violently tore all of the terror, blind fury, and bloodlust from the creature. The emotions, and need to kill, slammed into me, almost knocking me back a step as the calm and serenity I held inside because of my Lady's feather filled the wolf. The werewolf shook its head and looked around, whimpered then bounded off. I dove at the men who dared try to take Lady Locksley's talisman from me. They just stood there as I pounded my fists against them ineffectually, I slashed at them, raking my nails across their faces as I realized what I was doing and my own fear welled inside me. The feather flared on my chest again, consuming all the negative emotions and I dropped to the ground sobbing. I had become a wolf in mind, if not body, and I let it consume me because I was mad at these men. I looked at my bloody nails and looked up at the men, who didn't have a scratch on them now, just some blood on their cheeks. Jacob offered a hand down to where I sobbed on the ground, and I blinked at him, there was... compassion on his face? I hesitantly took his hand, and he helped me up. He said with that same compassion I saw, “See what it can do to you? Is that the sort of trial you wish to put yourself through? If you give the feather to us, you'll never have to experience that again.” For the barest of instants, I contemplated it. That had been the most frightening experience of my life because some part of me reveled in it, craved it. That dark part of myself that had the capacity for evil. But I found myself absently shaking my head. I looked up into his eyes which seemed to swallow all the light of the moon, and I heard myself saying with conviction, “It is my burden to bear until I fulfill my promise. I can deal with the darkness inside me until my quest is complete. You cannot take that from me, it is my choice, not yours. It has already cost me so much, and I will not let the price be for naught.” Wilhelm gave the other man a 'told you so' look then said, “For now, we may allow you to keep it, there is another purpose you might serve, with another unexpected piece that is being moved onto the board.” What was he talking about, the men made no sense. Were they really men at all? I looked to where the wolf had first attacked them and was unable to lay claw nor fang on them. Jacob asked almost wistfully, “May we at least see the talisman?” I hesitated, and he held his hands up, palm out in surrender to show he had no ulterior motives or thoughts of snatching it from me. I nodded once and grabbed the string around my neck and pulled. I winced as I felt a pain on my chest. I narrowed my eyes and looked down and tugged again and the string snapped and came loose in my hand. What in the name of the Goddess? I pulled down the neck of my dress to look at my breastbone. There, seared into my flesh was the feather, glowing a faint white. I clawed at it, but it felt like my own flesh. Had it burned into me when I had confronted the evil of the wolves? I paused when I realized I could feel all the nature around me and the emotions of the village. I had always been able to when I wore the talisman, but never so clear and sharp, nor to the extent or intensity, I could just then. What had I done? The brothers shared a look then turned to regard me almost accusingly, then Jacob softened and said with pity, “I guess there's nothing for it then.” Wilhelm said, “You're something that you're not supposed to be now, Belle.” I stalked away from the men, but they trailed behind me. I called back, “Just leave me alone.” Jacob said from right beside me as he was now walking with me somehow, “I wish that we could, but you are now our responsibility, Belle. You are something... unexpected.” He hesitated and narrowed his eyes and muttered to himself, “There seems to be an awful lot of that happening lately.” Then he said, “Let us walk with you a bit. There is something you can do for us, and in exchange we can tell you where Robyn of Locksley is.” I stutter stepped then hesitated, looking up at him and Wilhelm who was at my other side. I don't think I'll ever get used to how unnerving that is. I asked with suspicion coloring my tone, “You'll tell me where to find my Lady?” He nodded, looking far too innocent, and Wilhelm, who looked far more trustworthy crossed his heart with his finger. They looked on with earnestness. Could my quest finally be close to completion? I narrowed my eyes in suspicion and asked, “And just what is it you wish me to do?” Jacob shrugged and said, “Not much really, just let us tell you a story, then we wish for you to meet someone.” That's it, just meet someone? I looked at Wilhelm, and he just inclined his head to indicate his brother spoke the truth. I was so very tired of my search. Could I finally live the life of a normal girl after so long? I looked up from my hands and just nodded once. Jacob grinned and said, “Splendid!”