A Place to Run

by Diane Adams

  "Yeah, easy for you to say with your big-assed hands." Alex blushed and looked back down at his food. Heat flared between them again.

  "He's got a bigger mouth, too," Clark happily contributed from the back, finishing off his hot dog and licking his fingers clean, oblivious to Alex sinking deeper into his seat. Clark peered over Alex's shoulder at the untouched food. "I can eat it for you."

  Alex glared. "I can handle it." He bit carefully into the hot dog and managed to keep the mess in the bun and not down his shirt front or the passenger seat. The ride proved long enough for Alex to finish his messy snack and spend the remainder hugging Jared's arm.

  "Home," he announced, pulling into Alex's driveway. Alex sat up and Jared missed the heat and weight of Alex's head against his shoulder. Alex glanced towards the house and back at him.

  "I'd rather…"

  "Oh, no, you go visit your mom. We have all summer." Jared turned to Clark. "Carry Alex's bags in, he'll be there in a minute." Clark crammed the trash from their snack into the bag their food came in, and looked at the pile of bags next to him. He opened his mouth to protest. Jared didn't give his a chance to speak. "Just take what you can carry, please."

  Clark's mouth snapped shut. He shouldered the door open and climbed out, hauling most of the luggage with him. "I'll let your mom know you're home, better not take too long," he told Alex.

  The door slammed, leaving Alex and Jared alone. Alex turned to him, his expectation of getting kissed written on his face. His eyes slid closed and he leaned towards Jared.

  "Oh, no."

  Alex's eyes flew open, confused. He frowned. "New rules, you said we could."

  "I know what I said. But none of what I said applies when sitting in the driveway with your mother inside, waiting for you. The mother who does not know you are gay." Despite his gentle tone, Alex flushed with shame and glanced towards the house.

  "She has to know. I never had a girlfriend, and there's you."

  "A lot of guys never had a girlfriend, Clark for example. She doesn't know about me. Neither of which is the point. She's your mother, Alex, and regardless of whether she should have guessed, or has guessed, you owe her the courtesy of telling her yourself."

  "I've only been home an hour," Alex muttered.

  "I know you haven't had a chance yet. It's just important."

  Alex rolled his eyes. "That's not what I meant. I meant you're already nagging me." He grinned in delight when Jared blushed.

  Unfortunately Jared wasn't embarrassed enough to let it drop. "I'll keep nagging until you tell her. Alex, it's critical for you to tell her yourself. Someone is going to see us, and things will be much worse if she finds out that way. Believe me, mothers like confession. I always got in twice as much trouble if Mom found stuff out before I told her." Jared was earnest, but Alex avoided meeting his eyes.

  "Your mom isn't like mine," he muttered. Alex's mother appeared in the door to the house, a trim woman with light brown hair caught back in a ponytail. Her slacks and blouse, in tones of blue, were immaculate. She stood on the porch with her arms crossed under her breasts, looking uncertain. Watching her, Jared silently agreed. His mother would have been at the truck pulling him out by the scruff of the neck.

  "Everyone's mom is different, but some stuff is true about all of them."

  Alex shrugged. "I'll tell her, soon. Okay?"

  Jared roughed Alex's hair. "Okay. Now go." Alex pressed a kiss to Jared's cheek and, grabbing his remaining bag, jumped out of the truck.

  As he backed down the drive, Jared watched Alex's mother welcome him home with open arms, pulling him into a hug,. The expression on her face as she watched the truck leave belied that welcome, and sent a chill of apprehension down Jared's spine.

  Catching Up

  "Stop running! Put your things away!" Alex's mother called out. The boys obeyed, but only when the bedroom door had shut behind them. Alex dropped his suitcase on top of the ones Clark piled by the door and flopped down on his stomach on the bed beside his friend.

  "Hell of a day," Alex groaned. "Flying sucks."

  Clark stared at the ceiling and gave a half-hearted kick at Alex's leg. "No cussing," he muttered.

  Alex lifted his head, staring at him through his hair.

  Clark shrugged. "Seriously dude, you might as well practice. Believe me, you do not want to hear it. 'Intelligent people don't need gutter language to express how they feel… and blah blah, blah blah, blah.'" Clark dropped his head back onto the bed.

  "You and Jared really got close." Alex's effort to keep his tone light failed, and Clark sat up shocked.

  "What the hell dude?" he demanded, forgetting his own sage advice about cursing.

  "No, it's nothing, it's just… I'm stupid that's all. Ignore me." Alex buried his head in his arms.

  Clark frowned. "We're just friends Alex, I swear. You weren't here and, damn, who am I supposed to hang out with? Kasey?" They both shuddered. "Jared and I hang out, he needs someone to keep him out of trouble. Besides, Jared's okay. He's not very cool and he won't let me cuss or buy me beer, but…" He shrugged, clearly at a loss for words.

  Alex laughed into his arms. "But he's Jared." He lifted his head to meet Clark's gaze.

  Clark nodded. "Yeah, something like that."

  Alex sat up and faced him. "I hate feeling left out, but it's not your fault. I was surprised when I got your letter about working for him. You really like it?"

  Clark's eyes lit up. "Yeah, I do. I'm going to be a contractor one day. Jared says if I choose something to specialize in, he'll talk to my dad about letting me go to tech school instead of college. He's a hell of a carpenter, but I think I want to lay bricks."

  "Sounds awesome, well sort of, I guess. I don't want to lay bricks." Alex wrinkled his nose. "But I hope your dad lets you." He wanted to design, to tell people where to put the bricks. He had no desire to be the one doing the putting. His part-time go-fer job with an architect-turned-professor at school had given him a glimpse into dreams he wasn't yet ready to voice.

  "Dad'll let me if Jared says so. He thinks Jared is God or something. He loves him. It's weird, you know, the less I ask for money, the more Dad likes Jared."

  The boys burst into simultaneous peals of laughter. Clark's dad gave him money continually and complained about it every second. Clark could have anything he wanted, if he paid the price of listening to his dad.

  "So did you get all kissed up?" Clark demanded, abruptly changing the subject. He pursed his lips in an exaggerated kissy face. Alex slapped him half-heartedly.

  "No." Alex's amusement dispersed with the memory of what Jared told him. "I have to tell Mom first. He's holding kisses hostage. Clark, he doesn't get it. His mom is awesome, he talks about her all the time. Mom is…" Alex gave Clark a pleading look and an apologetic half shrug. He didn't need to elaborate. His mother didn't make a secret of the fact she felt Alex's father never fulfilled her expectations for a rise in society. Now Alex knew he'd fall far short of her dreams for him.

  "Your mom is really worried about what people think," Clark agreed sympathetically.

  "And what they say, but Jared says it would be better if I tell her."

  "Someone's going to. It's not much of a secret any more, Alex, and Jared…"

  "I know. I know I have to tell her. It's not fair to Jared or Dad. If she finds out how long Dad kept the secret for me, she'll give him hell. It's just… it's going to be bad, Clark, really bad. I'm scared." He stared at the closed bedroom door. "I don't want my mom to hate me…" His voice trailed off into a whisper.

  Reconnecting

  "Did you tell her?"

  Alex winced. "Not exactly." He sat at the bar separating Jared's kitchen from his tiny dining area, picking at the fringe of the place-mat in front of him.

  "Exactly what, then?" The steaks sizzled when Jared put them in the pan. He stirred the potatoes simmering on another burner, gathering his thoughts before he turned back to Alex. He didn't know what else to say to impress upo
n him the importance of not letting his mother find out through the grapevine that her only child was gay. Alex met his eyes briefly. He looked haunted and Jared's heart ached for him.

  "How'd you tell your mom?" Alex asked.

  Jared checked the food and went to sit beside him. "I didn't. She told Dad, and then they told me. I was pretty pissed off. I wasn't gay. Construction workers aren't gay." He laughed at the memory.

  "So how'd she know, who told her? Sounds like letting her find out worked okay for you."

  "I didn't just let her find out, Alex, she figured it out. When I was thirteen, Dad apprenticed me to a carpenter who worked for him. I'd go to his house on the weekends or after school. He had a shop in the garage and he taught me to build stuff. He was thirtyish and kind of hot. He spent a lot of time teaching me to do something I loved." Jared shrugged off the uncomfortable memory and forced himself to keep eye contact with Alex. "I had a monster crush on him, though I didn't see it that way then. We were working on something one day and I kissed him, a real kiss. No planning or anything, it just happened, but I was so embarrassed I ran off and didn't go back. I wouldn't talk about it, so Mom called him to see what was wrong. When she talked to me, she told me Billy told her what happened and it was okay, I didn't have to hide stuff from her and Dad, they knew I was gay. It wasn't a sterling moment in my life. I didn't want to be gay."

  Jared rubbed a hand over his face. Saying he didn't want to be gay was a huge understatement. He'd battled against his sexuality most of his growing up years. Uncomfortable with the turn the conversation had taken, Jared concentrated on turning the meat.

  "It still doesn't make sense. It sounds like she was so sure. It was just a kiss, how did she know?"

  "Your dad knew, way before he saw us together. He suspected before you even knew. Sometimes parents are just paying attention. Of course, my bent towards bare-chested construction worker posters may have tipped them off in my case. Sometimes parents are oblivious and sometimes they just don't want to know." Jared plated their dinner, ignoring Alex's moan when he dished up the broccoli. "I know your mother isn't easy, but she's your mom. She deserves the respect of your honesty."

  They sat side by side at the bar eating in silence.

  "I'm going to tell her," Alex said abruptly.

  "I know, just don't wait too long." He glanced over at Alex. "It's kind of weird having you here sitting in Clark's seat."

  Alex put down his fork and turned to him. "What do you mean, Clark's seat?"

  He shrugged. "He sits there when I'm cooking. Doesn't mean anything." He drank in the sight of Alex. His dark hair curled rampant over his head and his jaw showed the first signs of stubble. The lines of his face were more defined, less blurred by boyish promise. His transition from boy to man was something Jared couldn't ignore. Jared shifted uncomfortably on his bar stool and turned back to focus on his dinner. If he looked at Alex he'd kiss him. Alex would taste like salt, and onion, and garlic, but somehow under all of it he'd taste like Alex. Jared hadn't decided if he was up to the challenge of kissing him and maintaining their boundaries. His body had no interest in restrictions.

  "Oh, yeah, Clark told me he eats here a lot." Alex poked at his food. He reached over and laid his hand on the back of Alex's neck.

  "Does it bother you?"

  "It shouldn't." Dropping his fork onto his plate, he twisted the bar stool to face Jared.

  "But it does." Jared met his eyes with a level look of his own.

  Alex nodded. "I can't help it. He's here with you all the time. You have jokes and he works with you and, and…" Alex's chin came up and his gaze was defiant, "and you've hardly touched me since I got home. I feel like there's something come between us. Is it him?" His eyes swam with tears.

  Jared touched Alex’s face. He regretted that his reluctance to test his willpower was the cause for Alex's unhappiness. His fingers lingered on Alex's cheeks before tracing the line of his jaw back into his hair. He caressed Alex's full bottom lip with his thumb and it trembled under his touch.

  "It's not him. Alex, your mother?"

  "Isn't here. We're alone, no one to carry tales."

  "I'm scared. You're so young." Jared's confession broke through the tension between them. Understanding lit Alex's eyes.

  "I'm not a baby."

  Jared leaned in and brushed their lips together. "So much easier if you were," he breathed his surrender, but didn’t give Alex opportunity to respond. He brought their mouths together in their first real kiss since Alex’s return. Jared curled his fingers around the back of his neck, holding him in the kiss. Alex touched his face, mimicking the way Jared touched him, exploring cheekbones and jaw line until his fingers slid into Jared's hair, tangling there.

  Jared gripped the seat of Alex's barstool and pulled him closer. His tongue swept over Alex's lips and they parted eagerly. He tasted exactly as Jared suspected he would, and the low moan that escaped Alex when their tongues slid together almost undid him. His fingers tightened on the back of Alex's neck for a brief moment before he ended their kiss with a suck and a nip at his lower lip. Their eyes met. Jared's pulse jumped in his throat, his breathing became ragged. Alex stared at him, his pupils blown with lust. He didn't let go of Jared's hair.

  "More," he whispered.

  Dinner and good sense forgotten, Jared kissed him again.

  Compromises — Alex Style

  "Just come on!" Alex grabbed Jared's hand, pulling him through the parking lot into the store. Once inside, Jared recovered his hand and made an attempt to do the same with his dignity.

  "It's General Amos," he said, glancing around the store. Stuff was piled everywhere. The department store chain was little more than a dumping ground for stuff purchased from businesses going under. It had the feel of a poorly planned garage sale. Rumor had it that sometimes there were good deals buried in the heaps of junk. Jared valued his time too much to make the effort to find out, but here he was.

  "Yeah, it's awesome! Clark and I come here all the time. I tried to get him to come today but he's got to do something with his parents." Alex shrugged and looked around happily. His hand found Jared's again and tugged him towards the back of the store. Jared noted their apparent goal with apprehension. The back of the store was where General Amos displayed discount furniture. Jared didn't consider himself a snob, but he had standards. He was concerned about minor things, like getting more than a year's use out of a couch.

  Alex was like a hound on a scent. Nothing distracted him, not even a few things that slowed Jared. Alex pulled him along, never looking back. Jared frowned over his shoulder at the jumble of black, blue, and orange. He wanted to know what they were, but Alex wasn't interested. They wove through the tightly packed furniture. The aisle that twisted through the unfortunate upholstered jungle was hardly worthy of the name. Jared wondered how people managed to get anything they'd bought out of the store. He winced at the sight of a blue, brown, and white plaid sofa. His anxiety over what Alex was so anxious to show him increased steadily.

  "There!" Alex exclaimed and came to such an abrupt stop, Jared ran into his back. Jared grabbed him by the shoulders and steadied them. Alex tilted his head back and grinned up into his face.

  Jared shook his head at Alex's antics and smiled back, resisting the urge to plant a kiss on those laughing lips. He looked around to see what had Alex so excited. Nothing caught his attention.

  Disgusted, Alex snorted and flopped spread-eagled into the chair behind him. It was huge. While its cover of tan faux-suede made Alex's choice more bearable to look at than most of the surrounding furniture, it was the biggest recliner Jared had ever seen. The seat was large enough for two, each arm seemed to be well cushioned and wide enough for someone to sit on, and it would hold four in close but cozy comfort.

  Jared burst out laughing. "Dude!"

  Alex beamed at his reaction. "I know, right, it's awesome!" Alex sat forward, his dancing gaze fixed on his face.

  "And what's it for?" he asked. "I do
ubt it'll fit in your bedroom." Alex adopted an angelic expression. One that didn't fool Jared for a second. He'd been thoroughly sabotaged.

  "If we move stuff around it'll fit in your living room, and there's plenty of room for us both!" Alex scooted to one side, leaving a more than adequate Jared space beside him. "See!" He ran a hand through his hair and rubbed his neck. He saw all right. He doubted he'd find another piece of real estate in a hundred miles more appealing than those few square feet beside Alex. He shook his head.

  "Alex, I don't think…"

  Alex grabbed his hand and pulled. He tumbled into the chair. His added weight caused it to recline and the foot rest popped up. He sprawled on top of Alex, staring down at him through his hair.

  "And we both know you aren't going to get into a bed with me until I'm like ninety-two. So… compromise?" Alex's expression was hopeful. Although Jared hadn't convinced himself that full body contact with Alex was a good thing, or at least a right thing, the goodness was undeniable. Braced over him in a chair big enough for Papa Bear, looking into his hopeful young face, Jared couldn't find the words to deny him.

  The laughter faded from Alex's face, his expression transitioned into something tender, longing clear in his gaze. He reached up and touched Jared's face, fingers brushing light as feather over his cheek. Jared leaned his forehead against his. Alex sighed, his lips parting for a kiss as his fingers slid into Jared's hair. Alex filled his senses, his scent and touch a siren's song. He ached to taste him. The sound of children squealing and a woman shouting brought them crashing back to reality.

  "Ah, no PDA for you!" Jared laughed, removing himself from the chair and temptation.

  Left alone in the huge recliner Alex applied his best pout. "That's just wrong."

  Jared laughed his surrender in the face of it. "You win. Find someone to get this monstrosity out to my truck and I'll go pay."

  His eyes lighting with surprised delight, Alex jumped to his feet. "Oh my God, really?" He hugged Jared. Let go. Headed down the narrow aisle, then ran back and threw himself into Jared's arms. Rewarding Jared with a wet kiss on the cheek, he took off again. Jared laughed. He wished buying happiness was always so easy.