Tom vs the Volcano God

by Marilyn Foxworthy

  I said, No.”

  He said, “I thought you might not. It takes getting used to. Follow me here. Sarah needs a last name and an identity. A birth certificate, a social security number, a set of school records, a passport, a driver’s license, and all that. If she’s going to be permanent. If you send her back to me, she doesn’t need all of that right away. Alice will take care of it all, as soon as we pull the trigger on it. But it will save a little work if we do it all at once. So, if you know, we can take care of it all now. If you want to just do the first part, that’s OK and you just let Alice know when you decide to take the next step. Sarah might be ready tonight the way things are going. Or within the next few days, at least. But if you decide soon, then don’t wait before you come out here. Just tell Sarah to tell Alice, then ask Marilyn to make travel arrangements. Her email is in your phone. She doesn’t know about the NORGs though, so keep that under your hat. Or your pants will catch fire.”

  I said, “Robby, what are you talking about? I’m not quite following this. I get that she needs all that paper work, but what do I need to do and what’s that next step? What does Sarah need to be ready for?”

  Robby said, “Oh, Tommy, I’m sorry. Let me go slow. I’m just really excited for you. And for Sarah. You’re my big brother, and she’s like one of my children. The thing is that for the birth certificate and school records, she can be listed as Sarah O'Connor. Get it? Like Sarah Connor? From the movie? But O’Connor. But for the marriage license, if that’s what you plan to do, it will be what? Go on, you can figure this out. Think hard. Sarah…”

  I said quietly, “For a marriage license? You mean Jensen? Sarah Jensen.”

  Robby said, “Dude, I know it’s kind of sudden, you know, since you just took her out of the box yesterday and mail order bride wasn’t what you were planning, but Tommy, if you want to, you need to ask her to marry you and hop on a plane and get over here and we’ll have a wedding on the beach here at sunset and you get to honeymoon in a private bungalow and don’t wear clothes for a few weeks. But listen. Maybe, if you meet a nice biological and she is like Honey, you marry her too. I have a few ideas along those lines for you, but in this case, legally there’s no problem because Sarah is different, so if it makes you more comfortable to think of it that way, go ahead. But if you get Sarah to agree to it, you’ll be happier than you can imagine.”

  I said, “I’m already happier than I can imagine. Ask her to marry me? And she’ll have documents and she’s real, just different. Robby?”

  He said, “Yeah. Tommy, I’ve been through all of it in ways you can’t imagine. And you will find out a lot more when you come to Kauai. So, let Alice know about the wedding plans and instead of contacting Marilyn yourself, let Alice do it, and Marilyn will send you travel details.”

  I said, “Robby, what if I think Sarah is ready and we come out there, and I ask her there, instead of beforehand?”

  Robby said, “If that’s how you want it, that’s great. Do you want to come tomorrow? Or tonight? I can make that happen.”

  I said, “Well, maybe, yeah. Let me see if I can work it out with my manager. I can ask for two weeks off if that’s OK.”

  Robby said, “Yeah. That’s awesome.”

  I said, “Can I keep it a secret from Sarah and just let you know about it?”

  He said, “Alice’s email and phone number will appear on your phone. She can handle things twenty-four-seven and she’s great at multitasking. The only time she can’t do several things at once is when she’s in the middle of an orgasm. It kind of disrupts their ability to focus. So, you make a decision and call Alice, or send an email, but I suggest that you talk to her, and she’ll take care of it. Don’t even think about how you are getting to the airport and don’t pack any clothes. If I were you, I wouldn’t even bother wearing underwear. Everything you need, we can get when you come. The bungalow will have new toothbrushes and razors and anything you need. Of course, Sarah doesn’t need a razor, but you might want one. They have sensitive skin, so they appreciate it if we shave.”

  I said blankly, “Sarah doesn’t need a razor? But she needs a toothbrush and lotion?”

  Robby laughed and said, “Tommy Boy, you’re great. I love you, man. Haven’t you seen her naked yet? Based on the relationship indicators, if you haven’t, you will soon.”

  I said, “Well, last night, I saw her from behind. But that’s all.”

  He said, “Well, when you see her from the front, you’ll see that she isn’t shaved; she’s hairless. Absolutely bald. Polished to a perfect sheen. Oh man, there’s so much you don’t know. I can’t wait. If you think it’s right, call Alice and get over here. I had some other plans for these two weeks, but they can be changed. Don’t disappoint me now. Get over here as soon as you can. This is so much more exciting than I thought it was going to be. OK, I’m going to hang up and get busy. Bye.”

  And he hung up.

  I went to my desk and then found my boss.

  I said, “Um, Al, I need to go on vacation.”

  The man looked concerned. Al was a good guy and he cared about me and knew what I had been through.

  He said, “Of course, Tom. You’ve been through a lot. When do you want to go and how long will you be gone? Your projects are all in good shape and I wouldn’t make you stay even if they weren’t. What are you thinking?”

  I said, “Um, I’d like to go tomorrow. And be gone for a little over two weeks. I’d come back the Monday two weeks from now.”

  Al said, “No problem at all. Do you have something in mind?”

  I said, “Well, Al, this is going to sound crazy, and really sudden, but in a way it isn’t. There’s this woman and it’s like we were made for each other. And my family knows her, and they think it’s a really good idea, and I’m pretty sure that I’m going to ask her to marry me. I know that sounds crazy, and you probably think that I should be locked up, but she has known my brother and his wife pretty much her whole life, and we really click, and it isn’t as impulsive as it sounds. Like I said, she was just made for me. I don’t think that Linda would object at all, under the circumstances.”

  Al said, “Wow. Tom, that’s a surprise. But you’re one of the most intuitive men I know and if you say it’s the right thing, I believe you. Leave right now if you want to. It’s almost time for you to leave anyway. I’ll see you when you get back. And if you need even more time, just send me a note and I’ll make sure HR lets you have all the time you want. And, congratulations!”

  I said, “Wow, thanks Al. Um, I’ll just shut down my machine and head out. Thanks. Just say I went on vacation, OK. I’ll announce the rest when I come back. Um, thanks so much.”

  I went back to my cubicle, set an automatic response on my email and turned off my computer. Then I just sat there.

  OK, on the one hand, it had only been twenty-four hours. On the other hand, this was a grand adventure and the most exciting thing that had ever happened to me. On the one hand, this was a huge life change and needed careful consideration. On the other hand, no matter how much consideration I gave it, the answer would be exactly the same. The answer was that I would do it. Robby was on some grand adventure and now he was inviting me to come along in my own way. The alternative was to turn back and try to take it slow. But no matter how slow I took it, the outcome would be the same. I would be with Sarah the rest of my life. I wouldn’t think about what happened to her when I got old and died, but Robby probably had a plan for that too. I had a lot of years left, and this was going to happen. The decision was, did it happen today, or did it happen later? If I waited, what would I gain? Nothing. What would I miss out on? There was no way to know. If things had gone slower, like Robby had expected, last night I would have missed out on the thrill of seeing Sarah naked, if only from behind. I would have missed out on a few thrilling tiny kisses. It wasn’t worth waiting if it meant missing out on even one of those things for even one more day.

  I wasn’t lustful. I didn’t mean that I was so horn
y that I couldn’t live another day without physical contact. I meant that the emotional connection was so healing that I didn’t want to go without it. Oh no! Was I just emotionally needy? Was it just my grief pushing me? No, that was ludicrous. Well, not entirely ludicrous; I did have some grief, but this was a grand adventure, not a fling with a neighbor.

  No, this was the right thing to do. I could not imagine any scenario where I would end up regretting this. I’d call Alice this afternoon.

  Chapter 6 - Planning a Grand Adventure

  Before I pulled out of the parking lot, I connected the new phone to the hands-free stereo in my car, just in case I needed to call Alice, or Robby called me, or Sarah tried to get a hold of me. I hadn’t checked in with Sarah all day, but she could get a hold of me if she needed something.

  I drove toward the freeway on-ramp and the phone rang before I reached it. I answered the call, expecting it to be Robby again, but it wasn’t.

  A female voice said sweetly, “Hi, this is Alice.”

  I said, “Oh, Alice, hi. Thank you for calling. I mean, what can I do for you? Robby told you I’m coming, right?”

  She said, “Well, Robby told me that he talked to you and that you were thinking about it, but that he really thought that you would be calling me, so I decided to call you first. Tom, I think I can help you. Obviously, I know Sarah really well, and if you have any thoughts about what to do next, I could give you some advice and tell you what I think of them.”

  I said, “Oh, that would be great. I need to read the status report, but I’m driving, so I have to wait until I get home. I thought that I should see what it says first.”

  Alice said, “I could read it to you. I’ve been reviewing it and what has happened in just the last day, and you must be a special man, like your brother. Do you want me to read it to you? I really think that I should. Here, here’s what it says:

  Friendship level eight. Sarah thinks you are the most marvelous person on the planet. She feels absolutely safe and highly attracted to you. She feels a deep soul mate connection to you.

  Romance level eight. Sarah wants your love and wants to give you her love. She sees you as a romantic necessity. She may initiate frequent touching, hugging, passionate kissing, and some amount of petting of sexual organs and breasts. She will allow you to initiate kisses and some amount of fondling once aroused. Sarah may flirt constantly and blatantly.

  Comfort level six. Sarah feels confused and very uncomfortable. She doesn’t know what to do, what to wear, or what to say. She may wear short dresses, underwear, no underwear, sheer nightgowns, or nothing at all in your presence. She may want to shop for more revealing clothes. She will want your approval of herself. She may make suggestive comments with every intention of following through or she may suddenly become shy and aloof.

  Helpfulness level nine. Sarah wants to do absolutely anything you ask, without regard to any constraints of the other relationship levels.

  Comments: Sarah is getting horny. But she doesn’t know what to do about it. Like a teenage girl, she may act like she’s in heat, but she is afraid to be truly sexually intimate. Sarah will become confused or frustrated because she wants to do way more romantically than she is ready for emotionally. Act with patience and kindness.

  Tom, did you understand all of that?”

  I said, “I’m kind of feeling some of that myself.”

  Alice said, “I get it, Sweetie. Believe me, I do. That’s why I want to help you. We didn’t expect it to move so quickly. So, tell me what you are thinking of doing. Don’t worry about getting anything wrong. Just tell me and I’ll help you figure it out.”

  I said, “Well, what I think I want to do is go home and ask Sarah if she is ready to go on a surprise adventure. I would tell her not to pack anything. That we’d be gone for over a week, but we don’t need to take anything with us. But I don’t tell her where we are going or why. Then, on the way over, I ask her to marry me. If she agrees, we get married on the beach, the way that Robby said. And we spend two weeks there, in some bungalow that Robby said we could use. I guess that’s what I thought of so far. Wait. Oh no, that won’t work! She doesn’t have any ID, does she? She can’t get on a plane!”

  Alice said, “Sweetie, you’d be surprised what we can do. For one thing, if absolutely necessary, you could pack her up in the shipping crate and she’d fly in the baggage compartment. But no, don’t worry, we won’t do that. We travel platinum class. How about this? It’s two o'clock your time. At three, a limo drives up and you and Sarah get in. It drives you to a private jet and it takes off for Kauai. No ID necessary. It’s a five-and-a-half-hour flight, but there’s a three-hour time difference. You land here at about six this evening. A car picks you up at the plane and takes you to a secluded beach and we all meet you there. We have a nice ceremony and you are married by eight. We have a late dinner reception and you are in bed by nine, local time. Or, we do all of that, but you leave at eight tomorrow morning and you get here about noon. What do you say? By the way, just asking if she wants to go on a secret adventure is exactly the way to do it. We like surprises and kind men who take us on romantic adventures. No wonder she rocketed to level eight so quickly.”

  I said, “There’s no reason to wait. Can you really do all of that in the next forty-five minutes?”

  Alice said, “I’m on the other line with Marilyn already. She can do anything. OK, she says that a limo will arrive at ten minutes after three at the latest. As soon as she gives me confirmation about the plane, we’ll know for sure. Robby’s plane is here with us, but we can get something else. But the crew won’t be regular staff, so don’t get naked and frisky the way that we do on our own plane. Well, unless we find you something with a bedroom suite. We’ll see.”

  I said, “Um, wow. I don’t know what to say. Can Robby afford all of that?”

  She said, “You have no idea. But now my advice. I can make this thing a done deal for you in five minutes, if you follow directions. Do you want my help, or have you got this?”

  I said, “I don’t know what help I need, but if you have something to help me, please tell me.”

  She said, “OK, we’re going to bump our dear girl up to nines across the board. We have to get her to a higher comfort level where she isn’t so nervous, confused, frustrated and squirrelly. She’s almost dangerous to herself and others right now. Here’s what you do. When you get in the house, tell her that you have to change clothes. Don’t tell her about anything yet. Ask her to come to your bedroom and while you ask her about her day, start undressing. Let her watch you undress, like it’s something you always do. Tom, the more of an erection you have when you undress, the better. Trust me, I know how this will impact her. We have a thing for our man’s penis. Has she seen it yet?”

  I said, “Well, I think she arranged a peek at it this morning, but I’m not sure.”

  Alice laughed, “Yeah, that would help explain the readings. She was in control and didn’t feel at all threatened, because she was just peeking at you. But what she saw gave her palpitations. Good. So, let her see you undress. Just casually, like you are perfectly comfortable with it and she’s welcome to it if she wants a look. Now, when she sees it, she’s going to freak out. And she’s going to want to learn more about it. Do exactly as I say now. Listen to me. Let her do whatever she wants. If she wants to talk about, let her. If she wants to stare at it or touch it, let her. If she wants to suck on it, let her. And if she wants to shove it in her virgin vagina, let her. If she wants to run from the room and collect herself, let her. But if she does, lie down on your back on your bed with your hands behind your head and your penis pointing up, and wait. She’ll come back, and then she’ll want to do one of those other things. Stay naked until just before the limo gets there. And when you get dressed, put on a shirt and a pair of pants, but no underwear. If she were at a lower level, we’d do this differently, but she’s gone so high so fast that we have to give her a reward and some reinforcement for good behavior. Tom, le
t her focus on your penis. It will calm her down. Her comfort level will rise to match her other levels and she’ll be good to go. Otherwise, I might need to shut her down. Think of her as a power plant about to overload right now. You need to release the pressure. The fastest way to do that is to give her a nice penis to play with. But let her be the one to play with you. You can play with her some too but follow her lead and let her set the pace. Can you do that? Let her set the pace?”

  I said, “Yes. I can. I’m almost home. We only have a little over thirty minutes.”

  Alice said, “The plane is arranged. We’ll see you in a few hours. Oh, one last thing. This is important too. Tell Sarah not to wear underwear. No panties or bra. And you, no underwear either. Will you do that?”

  I said, “If you say so, yeah.”

  She said, “And Tom, no luggage. Nothing but your wallet.”

  I said, “Alice, I don’t think Sarah has any shoes.”

  She said, “Not a problem. Some will be in the limo for her. And a pair of sandals for you too. The car will be there in forty minutes. If you run into trouble, tell Sarah to call me. I’m looking forward to meeting you Tom. Thank you for loving Sarah. She’s like a daughter to me. Bye Bye.”

  I was just pulling into my driveway as we hung up. I turned off the car and sat for a minute and calmed down. I had been breathing hard. I needed to calm down. I relaxed and let my heart rate go down. There was nothing to be anxious about. I had thirty minutes and then I would be on vacation. I was fine. I had peace. I was in love. I was loved. I was going on an adventure. I was going on vacation.

  I turned off the car and took another breath. I had to be relaxed. For one thing, if I was anxious, I wouldn’t have an erection, and Alice had told me that I needed one. I pictured greeting Sarah at the front door and felt myself start to respond the way that I needed to.

  I unlocked the front door to the house and opened it, and Sarah rushed into my arms. I kissed her harder than I had so far and smiled and hugged her. She was wearing her jeans and blouse and had been cleaning.