Hard to Hold

by Nicole Edwards

  With the air conditioner on and her clothes still damp, a chill ran through her.

  She needed to take a shower. Not only to warm up but also because she had to be at work in a couple of hours.

  Surely she could get through a couple of hours alone without having another panic attack. It shouldn’t be too hard considering she could relive today over and over again. Hands down, today had been the best day she’d had in years.

  Granted, she was going to have to tamp down the anticipation of seeing Wolfe or Rhys again. It wasn’t going to do her any good, and if this crush she had on the two men turned into something more, she was in for some serious heartache.

  Amy had been through enough.

  That was the last damn thing she needed.

  Wolfe watched as Amy disappeared inside her house. He should’ve put the truck in gear and pulled back down the gravel driveway, but he couldn’t seem to do it.

  He’d hated seeing the disappointment in her eyes when he turned her down. Hell, he would’ve given his left nut to go inside that house, but he honestly didn’t trust himself. It’d been a hell of a day, one that had tested his patience. Spending the better part of it with Amy and Rhys had been more than he could stand. Not in a bad way, of course. But Wolfe wasn’t a damn saint. He could only handle so much. And the temptation they presented was too much. It made him want things, crave things. Need things. Truth was, he had no business going down that road. Not yet.

  “Fuck.” He twisted his hands on the steering wheel, staring out the front windshield. “Go home, Caine. You’ll see her tonight. Go. The fuck. Home.”

  Wolfe turned off the truck.

  He got out.

  He walked right up to Amy’s front door.

  He knocked.

  And when she opened the door, he nearly fell to his knees at her feet.

  Her big brown eyes stared back at him, confusion etched on her pretty features.

  Wolfe put his hands on the doorjamb and leaned forward. He refused to touch her, afraid if he did, he’d never let her go.

  Locking his eyes with hers, he decided to give it to her straight.

  “I want to come inside.”

  Her eyes widened, but she didn’t say anything.

  “But I’m fucking scared, Amy. I’m scared that I’m gonna do somethin’ to scare you, and that’s the last goddamn thing I wanna do.”

  “You won’t,” she said softly.

  “I will.” He made sure there was a ton of confidence in his tone. “I can only take so much, and the more time I spend with you, the more I want to touch you, to kiss you.” To lay you down and bury myself inside your body. He kept that part to himself though. “And if you let me in your house, if you sit down to dinner with me, if you smile at me the way you did today … I’m scared I won’t be able to stop myself.”

  He saw the way she swallowed hard.

  “Do you understand what I’m tellin’ you?”

  She nodded.

  “That’s why I can’t come inside. It has nothin’ to do with Rhys.” He shook his head. “Well, maybe a little, but like I said, that’s complicated.”

  He got another nod.

  Wolfe pushed off the wall and stood to his full height. “I’ll see you at Reagan’s.”

  Turning away from her was the hardest damn thing he’d ever done, but Wolfe knew he had to. It was the right thing to do.

  “Wolfe.”

  He heard her feet on the wooden porch behind him.

  “I want you to come inside.”

  Dropping his head, Wolfe closed his eyes. “I don’t wanna fuck this up with you, Amy.”

  “You won’t.”

  “You don’t know that.”

  “I do.”

  Wolfe turned to face her. Only then did he realize how close she was standing. He had to stare down at her, holding his breath when her arms moved toward him, her hands sliding up to his neck, pulling him down.

  His entire world collapsed into that one single moment when her mouth touched his. He didn’t kiss her back. Not at first. But when her fingers slid into the hair at his nape, Wolfe lost control.

  Cupping the back of her head as gently as he could, he tilted her head and pressed his lips to hers. When she drew in a deep breath, he slid his tongue over her lower lip, then dipped into her mouth. Amy kissed him back, her tongue gliding against his hesitantly at first, then more confidently.

  Jesus.

  How could one kiss be so fucking hot?

  He was lost to it. Lost to the sensation, the overwhelming desire that crashed in his veins. His body tightened, but he remained as still as he could, afraid to move closer, afraid to do anything that would cause her to pull away from him.

  Wolfe allowed the kiss to go on for a minute, but then he pulled back, his entire body aching for her. Keeping her head cradled in his hand, he pulled her against his chest and sighed when she wrapped her arms around his waist.

  He held her, his muscles vibrating with need, but sated by the fact she was in his arms, touching him even if they were still outside, still standing on her porch. Even if he still wasn’t going to go inside.

  This woman … this one sweet, far-too-innocent woman was going to be the one to bring him to his knees.

  He knew it.

  And the worst part was that he didn’t even care.

  Not one fucking bit.

  Saturday nights in Embers Ridge were much like Friday nights. Mostly disturbances of the inebriated variety, some domestic disputes, usually a riled-up cowboy who hadn’t figured out the best way to wind down after a long, hot week. And of course, the animals that tended to wander away from where they belonged.

  Fortunately, tonight had been slow. With two of his deputies out on patrol, Rhys spent the majority of the evening in his office doing his damnedest not to do another search on Amy Smith.

  The buzzer sounded on the main door and Rhys got up to go see who it was. Generally, the public only stopped by during weekday hours, but from time to time, someone showed up to bitch about whatever it was they had on their mind.

  The buzzer sounded again just as he was about to turn the corner. Rhys was gearing up to tell whoever it was to chill, but then he saw Wolfe standing there, glaring at the glass.

  Rhys fought the urge to grin. The man looked worse for wear, but he couldn’t imagine why. After the day they’d had…

  “What’s your problem?” Rhys asked as he opened the door.

  Without a response, Wolfe walked right past him and down the hall.

  Rhys flipped the lock on the door, then followed, trying to figure out what could’ve possibly pissed Wolfe off to the point he’d show up at the sheriff’s office on a Saturday night.

  He found Wolfe in his office, pacing the three feet in front of his desk. The man’s long legs didn’t allow him to take too many steps.

  “Who else is here?” Wolfe asked, his tone rough.

  “No one. They’re out on patrol. Why? What’s wrong?”

  As soon as Rhys cleared the doorway, Wolfe closed the door behind him. The next thing Rhys knew, he was up against the wall, Wolfe’s solid body pressing into him, his lips crushed beneath Wolfe’s firm, warm mouth.

  Son of a bitch.

  Unable to help himself, Rhys grabbed Wolfe and jerked him closer, kissing him back with every ounce of the pent-up lust that had been coursing through him for days now.

  His brain fought to keep up, to process all that was happening.

  Wolfe’s soft, warm lips.

  His scratchy jaw.

  Strong fingers digging into his flesh.

  The confident, eager thrust of Wolfe’s tongue.

  The kiss was overloading his circuits and Rhys didn’t even fucking care.

  Wolfe growled, grinding against him, his rough hands cupping Rhys’s head, his tongue roughly searching Rhys’s mouth. Although Rhys fought to take control, it didn’t happen. Wolfe was having none of that, so he gave in and let the man devour him.

  When they eventuall
y pulled apart, Rhys was breathing hard, but so was Wolfe.

  “What the fuck?” Rhys’s voice was hoarse.

  “I kissed her.”

  “What?” Clearly his brain had been rattled a little from that.

  “I kissed Amy. I told her I shouldn’t, but … well, technically she kissed me, but fuck if I didn’t kiss her back.”

  Rhys righted his clothes. “And that’s a bad thing why?”

  “It’s not a bad thing.” Wolfe pulled off his ball cap and thrust his hands through his hair. “Well, not entirely. She seems to think you and I are… Fuck. I don’t even know what she thinks, but she doesn’t seem to mind it. And then she asked me to come inside her house, said she’d make me dinner. I refused because I fucking knew I would kiss her.” Wolfe frowned. “She looked so goddamn disappointed. Dumb ass that I am, I went to her door.” Wolfe looked at him for the first time. “I told her why I couldn’t come in. And I didn’t, but she kissed me anyway.”

  “Take a breath. Shit.” Rhys understood everything except… “So why are you here?”

  Wolfe’s face was hard. “Because when she kissed me and I kissed her, I realized I wanted to fucking kiss you, too.”

  Well. Okay then.

  Wolfe seemed to be waiting for Rhys to say something, so he said, “I don’t see a problem with that.”

  The big man eased down into a chair, dropping his head into his hands. “I don’t want to scare her.”

  “If she kissed you, I’d say you accomplished that goal.”

  Wolfe looked up. “I left after that. I couldn’t go inside. Not after that kiss. Fuck. She’s driving me goddamn crazy.”

  Rhys knew the feeling.

  “I don’t know what to do now,” Wolfe admitted. If Rhys wasn’t mistaken, there was a significant amount of confusion in the big man’s tone. That was unusual for the normally confident cowboy.

  Moving over to his desk, Rhys perched on the edge.

  “Take it one day at a time.”

  Wolfe stood, taking one step and clearing the distance between them. Rhys looked up at him, waiting, wanting.

  “Yeah?” Wolfe didn’t sound convinced that was a good plan.

  “Sure.” Rhys’s voice was rough. “Why not?”

  Wolfe cupped his face and once again lowered his mouth to Rhys’s. Without thinking, Rhys gripped Wolfe’s shirt in his fist, kissing him back. This time, Wolfe’s lips weren’t quite as rough, not nearly as demanding. It was an exploratory kiss, one to confirm that this thing between them was real and it was explosive, regardless.

  The kiss didn’t last nearly long enough, but Rhys swallowed the groan of disappointment.

  “She has to know about this,” Wolfe said. “I need her to understand what’s goin’ on.”

  Rhys nodded. He got that. Of course, he had no idea how Amy would react, but he understood.

  “What time do you get outta here?” Wolfe asked.

  “Midnight.”

  The big man moved back, causing Rhys to release his shirt.

  “Meet me and Amy at Reagan’s when you’re done. I wanna show her the lake at night.”

  Rhys nodded. “I’ll be there.”

  Some of the warmth in Wolfe’s eyes dimmed. “I don’t know how this’ll play out, but she has to know what we want.”

  “She does.”

  That didn’t seem to ease the battle going on inside Wolfe’s head, but neither of them could prepare for this. Whatever happened between the three of them—or didn’t happen, for that matter—was all up to Amy.

  Rhys hoped to God she was willing to explore.

  It was all he could ask for.

  9

  __________

  From what Amy could tell, the rough crowd had stayed at home tonight. It was already closing in on midnight and not one single fight had broken out.

  Then again, that could’ve been due to the fact Lynx Caine was itching to take someone down and not a single person was man enough to go up against him. She had no idea what was bothering Wolfe’s cousin, but he was practically vibrating with anger. And every now and then, she would catch him glancing over at Reagan as though he wanted to have the woman for dessert.

  Amy had no idea what was up with that, but she was not going to stick her nose where it didn’t belong.

  Reagan had already called last call since she consistently closed the bar down at midnight. If these cowboys and cowgirls wanted to continue the party, they could head over to Marla’s Bar, where the drinks were stronger.

  As for Amy, she was doing her best not to stumble around. She still couldn’t get that kiss off her mind, and having spent the better part of the evening watching Wolfe hadn’t made her job any easier. He looked as though he had something on his mind, but that hadn’t stopped him from smiling every time he caught her looking.

  The door opened and Amy glanced up from the table she was clearing to see Rhys walk in. Their eyes immediately met and she found herself grinning like a fool although she didn’t know why. Her gaze quickly strayed over to Wolfe. He was watching her, his face shadowed by his hat, but she could see his eyes were definitely on her.

  “Don’t worry, we’re closin’ it down, Sheriff,” Reagan called out.

  Rhys waved her off, moving over to stand beside Wolfe. He leaned against the bar, one elbow propped on the wooden top as he scanned the room.

  The two empty bottles on the table clanked together when Amy went to pick them up.

  “Get it together,” she whispered to herself as she carried the bottles to the trash can.

  “Hey, girl,” Reagan called out to her. “Why don’t you head on out. I’ve got it from here.”

  “You sure?” Amy wasn’t particularly looking forward to going home, but her legs were about to give out on her. All day in the sun and all night on her feet had taken its toll. She was exhausted.

  “Yep. See you next week.”

  Amy nodded, then removed her apron and tucked it beneath the bar before grabbing her car keys. She wasn’t sure if she was supposed to talk to Wolfe or Rhys or if she was supposed to go straight to her car and go home. This was new for her.

  Really new.

  For one, Amy had never dated anyone. Kind of sad to think since she was twenty-six years old. But it was true. Amy had gone from her aunt and uncle’s house at nineteen years old to … his. There had been a very brief courtship, but since Amy had nothing to compare it to, she wasn’t sure she could consider it dating. It felt more like … ownership.

  Not that she and Wolfe were dating. She didn’t think that. Really.

  “Hey.”

  Amy looked up to see Rhys standing before her, his beautiful blue eyes sparkling. “Hi.”

  His concerned look faded, replaced by a smile, and Amy relaxed.

  When Wolfe came over, she felt heat swamp her, the memory of that kiss coming to the forefront of her mind.

  “You headin’ out?”

  Amy nodded.

  “Thought maybe you’d like to go out to the lake,” Wolfe offered, sounding oddly nervous.

  “The lake?” Amy watched the two men. “At night?”

  “The moon’s out,” Rhys added. “We can chill. Talk.”

  “Or not,” Wolfe added, his eyes skimming her face.

  Amy did not want to go home to her empty house, so she quickly nodded. “I’d like that.”

  The tension lines around Wolfe’s eyes seemed to fade away with her answer.

  “Why don’t we follow you home so you can drop your car off,” Rhys said. “Don’t want you out drivin’ too late by yourself. Then, when you’re ready to go home, we can drop you off.”

  That sounded like a smart idea. Plus, it would give Amy a chance to change clothes. “Okay.”

  She glanced between the two men. The three of them hadn’t moved from their original spot by the bar, and now they were still standing there. There was some sort of tension surrounding them, but Amy had no idea what it was from. After the day they’d had at the lake, she couldn’t ima
gine this would be awkward.

  Unless…

  She looked at Wolfe.

  Had he told Rhys about the kiss?

  Were they going to break the news to her that they were really into each other and that kiss had been a mistake?

  Before she could come up with a dozen more questions that she would never voice, Rhys put his hand at the small of her back and urged her toward the door.

  Amy pushed all the questions back, deciding that she couldn’t change the outcome one way or another. She would have to wait until they decided to broach the subject.

  Until then, she would proceed as they had been.

  As friends.

  Nothing more.

  Wolfe followed Amy in his truck while Rhys pulled up the rear. The fifteen-minute drive out to her place did absolutely nothing to ease the tension in his shoulders. He had no idea why he was sweating this so damn much.

  Okay, that wasn’t necessarily true. He did know.

  And it all boiled down to the fact that he was twisted up in a knot when it came to what he wanted.

  In the past forty-eight hours, everything he thought he knew about himself had been chucked right out the window. If he had to choose between Amy or Rhys right now, he didn’t think he’d be able to do it. Last week, he would’ve easily said Amy.

  However, kissing Rhys…

  “Fuck,” he grumbled to himself as he pulled in behind Amy’s car.

  After getting out, Wolfe walked over and opened her car door, then stepped aside so she could get out. The smile she gifted him with made his chest ache.

  “Do you mind if I change?”

  “Not at all.”

  Rhys joined them as Amy was turning toward the house.

  Wolfe noticed her hesitation, the way she stopped and stared at the front door.

  “Somethin’ wrong?” Rhys asked, his eyes darting from Amy to Wolfe.

  She shook her head.

  Still, she didn’t move.

  “Gimme your key,” Rhys insisted, stepping around her and holding out his hand.

  Amy looked up into his face, her eyes wide, that same terror Wolfe had seen before present and accounted for.

  Wolfe watched as Rhys took the key from her hand and then turned toward the door. The man still had his gun holstered on his hip, his badge clipped on his waistband. At this point, they were probably extensions of his body.