Tightrope

by Maddie Wade

  Tightrope

  Book One

  Tightrope

  Book One

  By Maddie Wade

  Published by Maddie Wade

  Copyright © May 2018 Maddie Wade

  Cover: Envy Designs

  Editing: https://www.blackopalproofreading.com

  Formatting: https://www.blackopalproofreading.com

  Copyright

  This is a work of fiction. Names characters places and incidents are a product of the author's imagination or are used fictitiously and are not to be construed as fact. Any resemblance to actual events organisations or persons—living or dead—is entirely coincidental.

  All rights reserved. By payment of the required fees, you have been granted the non-exclusive non-transferable right to access and read the text of this eBook onscreen. Except for use in reviews promotional posts or similar uses no part of this text may be reproduced transmitted downloaded decompiled reverse-engineered or stored in or introduced into any information storage and retrieval system in any form or by any means whether electronic or mechanical now known or hereafter invented without the express written permission of the author.

  First edition May © 2018 Maddie Wade

  Acknowledgements

  Thank you to Charlene@envy designs for the amazing cover.

  Thank you Linda Clarkson@blackopalproofreading, as always you made this rock a diamond.

  Thanks to all my beta readers—Greta, Maria, Brenda, Shelene and Becky D for steering me in the right direction and giving advice on plot line and flow.

  Special thanks to Clementine Parsons my wonderful sister in law for allowing me to bounce my crazy ideas off you and always being there for me.

  Thank you to the bloggers that share my books with your readers.

  Thank you to all the Indie Authors that support each other, with advice, support, and just being awesome.

  Thank you to my fanatastic readers at Maddie’s Minxes. You keep me entertained and your support means the world to me.

  Lastly, my readers. Your love for what I write gets me through writers block, midnight edits, and plot nervous breakdowns.

  Dedication

  This book is dedicated to my oldest friend, Carrie. I love you, millions.

  What a difference a day makes

  Contents

  Copyright

  Acknowledgements

  Dedication

  Contents

  Chapter One

  Chapter Two

  Chapter Three

  Chapter Four

  Chapter Five

  Chapter Six

  Chapter Seven

  Chapter Eight

  Chapter Nine

  Chapter Ten

  Chapter Eleven

  Chapter Twelve

  Chapter Thirteen

  Chapter Fourteen

  Chapter Fifteen

  Chapter Sixteen

  Chapter Seventeen

  Chapter Eighteen

  Chapter Nineteen

  Chapter Twenty

  Chapter Twenty-One

  Chapter Twenty-Two

  Chapter Twenty-Three

  Chapter Twenty-Four

  Chapter Twenty-Five

  Chapter Twenty- Six

  Chapter Twenty-Seven

  Chapter Twenty-Eight

  Chapter Twenty-Nine

  Chapter Thirty

  Social Media Links

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  Chapter One

  Lexi

  God will only give you what you can handle, or so they say! If that was the case, God in all his infinite wisdom must have thought I was a complete badass. That, or he had a piss poor sense of humor.

  That was what I was thinking as I drove my two-year-old Chrysler Pacifica toward home, not that home felt like that these days. Home was a place I had started avoiding. The guilt of that ate away at me but turning to look at my husband, the man I had loved for over eleven years, I felt that guilt bore deep into my soul and root itself there.

  He was looking out the window, as he always did on these drives, and I wondered what he was thinking. There had been a time when I had known his every thought, every dream, and he had known mine.

  We spent endless hours down by the river as teenagers, sharing our hopes and dreams for the future. A future with the world at our feet, one we would conquer together. His slightly too long wheat blonde hair blew from the slight breeze of the open car window and the sun caught on his bristle-covered chin, reds, and golds making it look like fire.

  That and bitterness were the only fires that seemed to burn in him these days. Weariness swept through me and I sucked in a deep breath of the warm fall air to ease the deep exhaustion and tension that I felt from the roots of my hair to the tips of my toes.

  He must have felt me watching him, he turned his head and his light green eyes caught mine. I titled my head and smiled, he returned it with a rare smile of his own and my breath caught in my chest as feelings from so long ago hit me. Love so strong and abiding, desire so sweet and a friendship that I missed with such longing that I could hardly breathe caused me to swallow the lump that formed from all the raw emotion flooding me.

  He saw my reaction and instantly his smile died, along with any fight that I had left in me. I looked away from his beautiful face and through eyes bleary with tears continued the silent drive to our home. A home that was as empty as my heart was becoming, a home that held no laughter and no love. A home that was characterless and a home that deserved so much more.

  Pulling into the driveway, I shifted the car into drive and pushed open the door. Crossing the front, I opened Dean’s door and offered him my arm out of habit, which he rejected as usual. I pasted on a cheery fake smile and stood back holding the door so that he could maneuver his stick out and ease his body upright with a pained expression.

  Biting back the desire to try and help, I waited patiently as he walked the few steps to the front door. His face was covered in sweat by the time he reached me, but I could see the physical therapy sessions were helping him. It was worth the fight and bitterness he directed my way before and after everyone just to see him making progress.

  Closing the door, I walked through our large front hallway and into the kitchen, knowing that Dean would head for his chair in the corner by the window. The one I set up for him so that he could still draw with natural light.

  A text pings through on my phone. I took it out of my back jeans pocket and glanced at the screen, a genuine smile curled my lips when I saw my best friend’s name. Cherry and I have been friends since junior high. We are polar opposites, I’m 5’8 and a slim size 8 with long dark wavy hair, dark, chocolate brown eyes, and olive skin like my mother. Our Greek heritage is strong in me, the only thing I inherited from my sweet dad was his temperament. He was a slow burn and quick to cool as was I.

  But back to Cherry. She is 5’2 with pale pink hair, and curves that make men drool. She is the best person in the world, even though she has a penchant for everything pink. She is also my business partner. We own and run Decadent Designs, an interior design boutique, together. The boutique that she has carried for the longest time, which has allowed me to be there for Dean. Without her and my parents, I never would have gotten through the last few years, at least not without becoming a complete head case.

  Cherry: Hey bitch, I need a night out! I think my girlie parts have sealed over. Is it possible to become a born-again virgin because I think my fou-fou has cobwebs?

  Lexi: Is that code for you want to get laid?

  Cherry: Fuck yeah, I need to get laid, but I’ll settle for some fruity drinks and dancing with my favorite slutbag.

  Lexi: When?

  Cherry: Tonight?

  I thoug
ht for a second and wondered if I could go and if I should. I probably shouldn’t, Dean needed me here. Regretfully I texted her back.

  Lexi: Not tonight babe, maybe next time xx

  Cherry: You suck monkey balls.

  That was the other thing about Cherry. She looked like a cheerleader and had the mouth of a trucker. Just talking with her gave me the strength to face Dean, even knowing he was always more antagonistic after his PT sessions.

  Tucking the phone into my back pocket, I flicked the button on the kettle to heat some water for Dean’s green tea. I personally detested the stuff, but because it was good for him, I choked it down and smiled. I only drank my beloved coffee when I got to work, the same as I ate brownies and junk food there so that Dean wouldn’t suffer any more than he did.

  On that thought I walked into the open plan living space, he was in his chair looking out the window.

  “Dean!” I called. He looked at me. His gaze a million miles away as he did. God, I missed him. “Do you want roasted tomato soup or a sandwich for lunch?”

  He turned away from my question and carried on looking out the window as if I was a pesky fly that bothered him, not the woman he had promised to love, honor, and cherish.

  “Dean,” I called again as I felt my already waning patience dwindle.

  His gaze shot to me then and bitterness and resentment poured out of his eyes when he did. “Nothing, I don’t want anything.”

  There is always a pinnacle moment in your life when everything changes. The direction you had planned, veers wildly and your future, the one you planned, changes direction forever.

  It is irrevocable and undeniable and at the time, you don’t even know it is happening. This was my moment. I would look back in years to come and know that, but right that very second, I had no clue that my world was changing and in a year from then I would not recognize my life.

  All I could think about at that second was that I’d had enough of being a doormat to the man I loved. Enough of beating myself up because it hadn’t been me that got sick and enough of blaming myself for things I couldn’t control.

  Hot angry tears filled my eyes as I looked at Dean and wondered how my life had gotten so fucked up and how a love that was so strong and so perfect could end up like this.

  Chapter Two

  Lexi—Eleven years ago

  Tucking the hair that had escaped my ponytail behind my ear, I glanced around the room. I was sitting beside my best friend Cherry and we were in Calculus class. I hated Calculus, but I needed to do well if I wanted to get into Xavier on a full scholarship. Mr. Munch, (poor guy, that name was not conducive to becoming a teacher) droned on and on and I tried to take notes, I really did but it was so boring.

  I’d begun to daydream about my next design project. It was an old 1950’s vanity table that needed some TLC to make it great again. It had beautiful curved feet with smooth curved lines that would look beautiful in a large brownstone home.

  My arm resting on the desk, with my head on it, whooshed from under me as Cherry nudged me hard. I looked up to see what had got her panties in a wad and followed her gaze.

  A new guy had just walked in and was standing beside Mr. Munch. He was cute, with floppy blonde hair that fell over one eye and he wore sexy glasses that gave him a hot, nerdy look. Jeans, with a dark blue polo, completed his look. He was definitely hot and definitely not my type.

  I liked my men more brooding and bad boy. Plus, he was blonde. I had a thing for dark-haired men with sexy blue eyes. He was totally Cherry’s type though, but she was currently swapping spit with the captain of the debate team.

  “You like?” I asked as I wriggled my eyebrows at her suggestively.

  She shrugged her shoulders. “He’s cute, but he was totally checking you out when he walked in.”

  I frowned, and my eyes swung back to Mr. Nerd. He was staring straight at me and a nervous, surprisingly naughty grin played on his lips. Um, maybe I had been too hasty about this guy.

  After class, Cherry and I walked into the fall sunshine and snagged a table. Placing our food and sodas down, we began to dissect the latest edition of Vogue magazine. We both loved fashion, even though our styles were completely different. I was more classic with a hint of rock, and she was a full-on fairy princess.

  Even now, she was wearing a pink pleated mini skirt, a flouncy white blouse with a pink knitted tank over the top, white ankle socks, and pink strappy heels. Whereas I was in a denim skirt, deep purple V-neck sweater, and black studded ankle boots. See, complete opposites!

  “So, don’t look now, but the sexy new nerd boy is checking you out again,” Cherry said.

  I rolled my eyes at the look of mischief on her face. “Seriously Cherry, I don’t date nerds.”

  “But maybe you should, you haven’t had much luck with dating jocks.”

  I groaned at her spot-on assessment of my love life and banged my head on the table. “No, Cherry. I told you I’m off guys. I need to concentrate on my grades.”

  My best friend in the world waved her hand at me and laughed. “Phooey, you’re a straight A student and we both know it. Come on! Please? We could double date. Two nerd lovers together.” She put her hands together in a prayer position and tilted her head while batting her eyelids.”

  Laughter spilled from me as I looked at her face and I knew I was going to do it. But I wasn’t going to let her off easy. “He hasn’t even asked me out,” I said.

  I saw her look up slightly as a shadow loomed behind me. My face paled and I went still as I saw the mischief on Cherry’s face hitch up a notch. Slowly I turned. Behind me was the sexy nerd from earlier and he had the hottest damn smirk that I had ever seen. My heart tripped over itself and I felt a blush stain my cheeks.

  He sat next to me as I watched from the side of my eye, tried to calm my heart, and consecutively glare daggers at my giggling friend.

  “Did it hurt?” he asked, I turned to him slightly when he did.

  “Sorry?” I asked and squinted at him in confusion.

  “Did it hurt when you fell from heaven?” he asked, and his smirk grew.

  Laughter bubbled up in me and then burst out of my mouth. “Who writes your lines?” I spluttered as I drank in his features. On closer inspection, his eyes were a soft moss green that sparkled when he laughed. His jaw was strong and the cute way his hair fell over his eye made me want to reach out and push it back just so that I could watch it fall again.

  I realized I was staring when Cherry coughed and stood.

  “I need to see Mr. Munch about the test next week,” she said, and my glare intensified. She was lying her little ass off. She no more needed to see him that I needed a boob job. To be clear, I did not need a boob job.

  I watched her bounce away like a ball of energy and then turn as she jogged backward and wiggled her fingers. I was going to kill her.

  “So now your extremely subtle friend has abandoned you, are you going to let me buy you a soda?”

  I spun around to look at him and his eyes were twinkling as he looked at me. I considered his words. Did I want to go for a coffee with him? I found that I did. I wanted to find out more about this guy, who was a sexy nerd but seemed to be sporting the body and confidence of jock.

  Did I not mention the body yet? Oh hell, the body was rock hard and his biceps when he lifted his coffee mug made my mouth water. Spotting his tight defined abs made my 17-year-old body melt.

  That was the beginning of the most beautiful love story ever told. The beginning of my love story.

  Chapter Three

  Lexi

  Furiously shoving clothes into an overnight bag, I swiped angry tears away as they ran continuously down my face. Ugly, hateful words had been uttered between us. Words that should never be said, because no matter what happened they could not be taken back, despite me knowing that when I cooled down I would want to.

  Slumping on my bed, the bed that was ours until the stroke that stole my husband from me, I felt the energy leak f
rom my body, but not the feeling of betrayal. How could my sweet, beautiful husband, the same one who had promised to love and cherish me, say such vile things to me?

  Yet he had. I knew deep in my soul, where I buried my demons and the pain, that I would never be strong enough to face the fact I would never forget his words or the look on his face when he’d said them.

  Hatred and bitterness had flowed from his expression as he spewed years of festering bile at me. In return, I had let all my frustration and anger flow free. Now the divide was so big I didn’t think I would ever recover. The scene played over and over in my head.

  “I want you to find a lover. Find someone to give you the child I can’t. I don’t want you like that, Lex. I love you and always will, but not like that. Not like a husband should love his wife. Every time I see you, it makes my stomach turn to think of you like that.”

  I scooted away, my hands out as if to ward off his words.

  “You don’t mean that,” I cried as a cold hand of pain squeezed in my chest. He leaned in and the iciness coupled with the dead look he gave me, made me shiver at this stranger in front of me.

  “I do. You repulse me. But I do need you. So, if you’re agreeable, we will live like roommates. It’s for the best,” he said as he turned himself back to the window and whatever held his attention there.

  I stood and backed toward the door, my mind reeling from the pain his words had caused. “So, if I were to go out and have sex with some random stranger you wouldn’t care?”

  “No, Lex. I wouldn’t care,” he said sounding bored, as he picked up a pencil and began to make un-coordinated strokes across the paper. “In fact, I think you should. You should go get drunk, have fun, and fuck loads of men. Maybe one of them will get you pregnant and will give you the baby you so desperately want.”