by Ellie Aiden
Talking over me is not gonna work for me, and even though I know he’s coming from a good place, I need to make some things clear too. “You, no.” His eyebrows raise in surprise when I butt in, but I continue. “I don’t know what things are like out here, but I don’t feel comfortable taking things from someone. I feel like I’m using you, and that’s not my intention. So, if there is no way for me to pay for food, or whatever this hotel room costs, for the next two days, then it will make me feel better if we can at least keep track. So that I can figure out a way to pay you back.”
He doesn’t respond for what seems like forever, and I’m afraid I have royally pissed off my only friend out here. He almost looks hurt, and that definitely wasn’t my intention.
Finally, “Anna.” Crap, what happened to Little Minx? “It wasn’t my intention to make you feel uncomfortable, and maybe I haven’t been clear about how I feel about all this.” Feel about all what? “In my mind, you’re mine. I felt that way from the moment I met you. I don’t want to keep track, because anything I have, is yours. I had hoped that you felt the same way, and if not, I need to know. It won’t change the way I feel, and it definitely won’t keep me from helping you. We’re friends no matter what. So even if I misread this, I’ll still do everything I can to protect you.”
I think I just got pregnant.
“I…” I don’t really know what to say. I felt the exact same way about him, from the moment he busted down that door, and beat the crap out of shit stain. Watching someone beat the shit out of someone else for you is a total turn on, who knew? When I don’t continue right away, his face falls, and it breaks my heart.
I can’t let that happen. “Luke, I haven’t stopped thinking about you. Not for a single minute.”
He smiles, but it’s not in excitement, more like, resignation. “But?”
“There is no but. Those are facts. Well, I guess technically there is a but, and that is, but even though I felt that way, I honestly never thought I would see you again, and…I guess I really lied, because there are two buts. The other being, you live out here, and I live in there, I don’t know how this works, or even what this is, despite how I feel about you.”
“Maybe this isn’t something a gang member should say, but I believe there are objects in this world that are drawn to each other, meant to be together. You are my object.”
I’m now pregnant with twins.
Sure most woman wouldn’t want to be referred to as an object, but I’m not most woman.
My cheeks heat, and in this moment there is nothing I want more than for him to kiss me. This seems like that kind of moment, but he stays seated, and I’m sure my disappointment is written on my face.
“My mom used to say, the best things in this world, the things you want the most, aren’t easy. They’re hard, but so worth it. I’m okay with this being hard, because it will be worth it in the end. What about you, Little Minx?”
“I’m okay with hard”
I return the warm smile that splits his face, and in that moment, I know I have to leave the Church. No matter what happens with anyone else, I’m not going to be able to live without this man.
“Now that we’ve cleared that up,” he says with a small chuckle, “you need to meet someone.”
CHAPTER 16 — ROSE
I was certainly curious when Luke said there was someone I needed to meet, and despite my incessant questioning, he said it was best if I just waited. When we left his room, we walked through the first floor of Hotel Bonham hand in hand. I figured this was part of him making sure everyone knew I was off limits. When we passed the long counter, Emily gave me a knowing smile, and everyone else gave us a wide birth. I get the impression Luke is well known in Bonham, and that he isn’t someone to be messed with. I guess the tattoo, signaling him as a member of the Diablo Gang probably doesn’t hurt either. I don’t know a lot about Diablo, or any other gangs really. Only what the Church has told us, and I’m beginning to think most of that wasn’t true, or at least exaggerated.
After about a ten-minute walk, we arrive at set of stables, with hands flitting around preparing horses for their owners, and cleaning out stalls. I’m surprised when Luke stops one, and asks him to prepare Pepper, I assume that’s his horses name. I didn’t realize we would be leaving Bonham.
“We’re leaving town?” I hope he’ll at least answer that question.
“Yes. The woman we are going to meet, lives in a rural area outside of town. It’s about a thirty-minute ride.”
So, it’s a woman we’re going to see. At least a few of my questions were answered. I don’t understand the need for secrecy, but I don’t question it, because I almost think Luke is enjoying this. I am a little worried though. I’ve ridden in a lot of wagons pulled by horses, but never ridden a horse itself. None of the jobs woman are assigned inside the Compound would require a horse, and they aren’t used recreationally. Only for work.
My concern must be evident on my face, because Luke wraps his arms around my shoulders and gives them a squeeze. “Never ridden a horse before, huh?”
I nod my confirmation.
“Don’t worry Little Minx. I have been riding horses my whole life. Kind of have to out here. Plus, I thought I told you, I’ll never let anything bad happen to you.” With another squeeze, he guides us over to the side of the stables where, a salt and pepper horse is being led out by the reins.
After an embarrassing display,of trying on my own to get up in the saddle, Luke steps in, and with one swift motion I’m seated. After walking the horse out of the enclosure, Luke joins me, and leads her into a decent gallop, away from the stable. The wind whips my hair around enough that I’m worried Luke can’t see. I’m not trying to die today, so I pull it around and secure it on one side. When we enter the tree line outside of town, I realize we are headed in the same direction as the hunting party. I really hope we don’t run into them.
The speed we are moving at is exhilarating, and I admit I’m actually enjoying myself. When we approach a small shack surrounded by briar bushes, I find myself disappointed the trip is over so soon. Not gonna lie, I enjoyed being this close to Luke. His body is warm and comforting behind mine, and every once in a while he would whisper in my ear, or point something out, like the adorable white rabbit we saw just a few minutes into our trip.
Dismounting, Luke reaches for my waist helping me down, and not letting go until he’s sure I have my balance. The two of us take a moment to stretch our muscles, and I take the opportunity to look around. The shack has to be at least a hundred years old. The wood is grey and rotting, with a visible hole in the roof, but the front door has a fresh coat of paint in a bright yellow color. I like that. It’s fresh and inviting.
When the door swings open I’m startled, and when the woman speaks, it’s even more disturbing. From the look of her face, she can’t be more than mid to late twenty’s, but her hair is streaked with grey, and she has a scar that stretches from her hairline, through her eyelid, down her cheek, and to her chin. Looks like something a knife would do, but her voice, that’s the part that gets me. It’s almost as if she wasn’t able to speak for years. It comes out in a deep, raspy tone, with cracks in the middle of every few words.
“Lu-ke. Is this this the gi-rl you won’t st-op talk-ing about?”
Turning to Luke, I expect to see embarrassment, but instead he nods in confirmation. “It is.” Taking my hand he leads me to the front step, kissing rose on the cheek, before making introductions. “Rose, this is Anna.” And then we both step past the threshold.
Inside the front room I see its pretty sparse. A threadbare couch sits along the wall on my left, a faint rose pattern just barely visible. Across from it, a high back sitting chair in yellow. Between the two, sits an oval coffee table that’s definitely seen better days. There’s nothing on the walls in this room, other than a clock that’s stopped ticking, and I can see through the wall below it, into what looks like the kitchen.
Rose motions for us to take the couch, while she
sits in her yellow chair. Yellow must be her color, between the chair and the door, she also wears a cream color dress with yellow sunflowers along the skirt.
“An-na, I…take it, you have ques-tion-s.”
I nod, although I’m not sure what they are. I’m not even sure who she is.
Squeezing my hand, Luke answers one of those questions. “Rose has lived in two different Compounds Anna, before she escaped from the second one.”
What? Two Compounds, and an escape, but why?
I look to Rose, hoping she will explain and she doesn’t disappoint.
“Yes. I lived… in Kan-sas, whe-re they process the wheat. They sold m-e to the Cal-fornia Com-pound, when I turned eighteen.”
Holy crap, so it isn’t just my Compound selling girls. Does that mean all of them are?
“I’m sure this is hard for you Rose, and I understand if you aren’t comfortable, but could you tell me what happened at the California Compound?” I hope she feels comfortable, this is exactly the kind of information I snuck out for, but I can’t imagine this is easy for her.
Rose pulls out a small tin, and when he opens it I can see what looks like a cigarette, but I thought it was nearly impossible to get tobacco anymore.
She sees me staring and offers one to me. Shaking my head, she explains, “This wi-l-l be a lot of tal-king for me. The gr-ass h-elps my nerves, ssoo I spe-ak clearer.”
It’s a drug, a drug I read about in a book, people called it weed. It isn’t grown or used in the compound. Nothing that would alter a person’s state of mind really. Especially for recreational purposes. I’m not judging though, whatever helps her, because it’s clear she’s been through a lot.
“It isn’t un-comfortable or harddd for me to tell y-ou,” she says, lighting the weed and taking her first drag. “If for nooo oth-er reason, than if me tell-ing my story to you, saves e-ven one girl, then everythin-g I went through, what it took, and whatttt I lost to get out, it’s all wo-rth it.
I wonder what she lost getting out, and if she’s being literal, or figurative. Quite a while passes without her speaking, and I wonder if she’s changed her mind.
“I was sixteen when my younger siste-r and I, found the Kansas Comp-ound. We had been on our own for several yearsss, even before the Pandemic. My sister ac-tually had the virus, and recovered.”
Wow. I’ve never met someone who actually had the virus and recovered. That was pretty rare from what we were taught.
“We didn’t know about the Compounds or The Wayyy, until we stumbled across the one in Kansa-s. Both of us were rail thin, practically starved to dddeath. We viewed it as a gift from God that they took us in, and nursed us back to healthhh.” She pauses, but only for a moment, and I realize her speech is already more clear. The weed must be kicking in. “My sister was three years younger than me, she started her perioddd for the first time a month after we arrived. That was the mo-ment I realized something wasn’t right. I…I mean the rules were crazy, but that ceremony. It just felt wronggg.” A shiver rolls through her body, and she stops to take a breath. “I began questionin-ggg everything. I tried to keep my sssister out of it though. I went through my Placement before her, of course. I wenttt in one door, and out anotherrr, straight into aaa wag-on.”
Her eyes fill with tears, and as the first one falls I’m up, moving over to sit on the edge of the coffee table. Grabbing her hand, I squeeze, hoping that it brings her comfort. They took her away from her sister, being the eldest that was one thing, but that left a fifteen-year-old girl alone in the Compound.
Rose seems to compose herself, steeling her spine, and then she continues. “I was drugged. I…don’t rememberrr the trip. When I woke, I found out I was at the California Comp-ound. Theyyy kept me drugged a lot the first few weeks. Probably because I kepttt tryin-g to escape. I realized until they thought I’d learned my less-on, they would keep doing it.” She seems to regret that, although I don’t know why.
Luke has been silent this whole time, so when he speaks behind me, I wasn’t expecting it. “You did what you had to Rose.”
Her eyes connect with his, searching for his support, and I think they must be close. I wonder even, if they may have been lovers at some point.
Rose clears her throat, and I see her eyes are glassy, probably from the drugs. “Yes, everything I did was for Amy.” Then she says to me, “My sisterrr.”
I know I shouldn’t expect more of her, she’s given me so much already, but I need to know. “Why did Vater Roger want the girls; why did he want you?”
“Vater Roger is a sick and depraved man. Un-like many other Compounds, his had a different pur-pose. It coulddd only house about a thousand people, but it was built on a plot of land much lar-ger than the one here. Its purpose originally was t-o grow large amounts of food, to supplement the other Compounds. The ones who mighttt be in areas where food wouldn’t grow as well, or where livestockkk might not thrive. I think he realized once the world went to shi-t, there was no one to stop him, and no one to enforce even the Churches rules. Hell, after just a couple years, there wasn’t evennn a way to contact the head Vater in Germany. No one to remove him, and he surrounded himself with men that are just as sick and depraved.” She takes a break, taking another drag, and I realize her speech really is much better. “Their raping those girls, they raped me, getting them pregnant once or tw-ice, then they banish them.”
“Oh Rose, I’m so sorry. You don’t have to go on. You’ve given me more than enough information,” I tell her, patting her hand.
“No you need to know this, I’m fine. It started by Vater Roger refusing to send supplies to the other Compounds, not evenn when the Northeast Coast Compound, well, not until nearly everyone there died because of lack of food. He wanted something in return. A girl at the Compound with me, sssaid that he told the other Vater’s, they needed girls to help, because they too ha-d lost a lot of people, they didn’t have enough to run the Compound. I think the other Vater’s believed thattt at first, but I know they know now, and they send the girls anyway. I waited two years, hoping they would send my sisterrr there, I couldn’t escape without her, and sure enough they did. We spent another year being raped and beaten for sport, while we secretly dug under one of the wa-lls. The night we escaped they caught us, shot my sister in the back as we ran, shot me in the leg, I thought I would die too, but a Gang Lord attacked. Got us both away, but Amy didn’t make i-t.”
I can’t even process everything I’ve been told. It’s too much. How could someone do something like that, clearly he’s sick, but what about the other Vater’s? They have to know. I don’t know what to say to her, so I look over my shoulder and see Luke with his head hung low. I feel Rose pat my leg, and I turn back to her. She shouldn’t be comforting me, it should be the other way around, but it’s not comfort she is giving, and when she speaks, she sounds determined and strong.
“Want to kn-ow who saved my life?” When I nod she continues. “Luke, and Lord Mateo.”
I don’t know who Lord Mateo is, but it doesn’t change the shocked expression from sweeping over my face. “What do you mean?”
Instead of Rose, its Luke who speaks. “The Church, Anna, they’re lying to you about the gangs. I don’t even like that word, it makes a person think we are bad people. But we aren’t. I swear it. We’re protecting people out here, from people like the Church. They think everyone inside those walls is better than everyone outside. They don’t come to trade with us Anna, they come to steal from us.”
My jaw nearly comes unhinged, and I look to Rose for confirmation. “It’s true hon-ey. They were doing the same thing at the other Compoundsss, and I have seen it first-hand here.”
I had my suspicions about the Church for quite some time, and when we found out they were selling girls well, I knew it wasn’t for anything good. But to find out they are stealing supplies from the locals, preventing them from having the things they need to survive, and the gangs are only trying to prevent that; only trying to protect their friends
and people. It’s just too much.
I feel Luke before I see him, as he takes a seat next to me, our thighs brushing.
“Anna is set to be sold in a week, her best friend, in just a few months, but possibly sooner.” He rubs a thumb in small circles across the top of my thigh and continues. “We should go, but thank you for doing this Rose. I could have told her, but I just felt like it would be better coming from you.”
The three of us stand, and as Rose and I exchange a hug goodbye, and Luke leads me outside, then into the saddle, everything, and everyone feels very far away.
CHAPTER 17 — I FUCKING HATE PINK
I remember very little about the ride back to the stables, and even less about the walk from there to Hotel Bonham. As we step through the open front door, a glance over my shoulder shows me the setting sun. Luke leads me in a blind haze upstairs to the third floor, and into his room. I don’t say a word and neither does he, while I remove my shoes and curl up in front of the now empty fireplace. I barely notice as Luke goes about starting a new fire, and I don’t even realize he leaves the room until he returns with silver trays of food. I should be starving. We haven’t eaten since this morning, but I’m not sure my stomach can handle food right now. I only glance up for a second to see Luke removing the lids from each of the trays, before I lie my head back down and try to soak up the warmth from the newly started fire.
“Little Minx, I know that was a lot to take, but…”
I stop him, because no. I can’t take anymore. “Luke I can’t. I can’t handle anything else today. Please.”
“No Little Minx, no more today. I just want you to eat. I know you probably don’t feel like it, but I need you to try, please.”
He’s right, I don’t feel like it, but I can’t stand the idea of wasting the food, especially now that I know the Church is stealing from these people. If I let it go to waste, and they could have eaten, and someone goes without because of me? Well, I can’t handle that thought.
