Whispers of Forever: Mending Christmas (Canyon Junction: Hearts In Love #1)

by Mary J. McCoy-Dressel

  “You forget, I know what Dane was like in high school. He was your type. We hung out. Still do. Time changes everybody, eventually.”

  “It happened in the past and it wasn’t anything.” Beth rose from the chair to stand in front of him. Sticking her hands into the jacket pockets, she shivered. “Do you marinade your chicken long? I’m getting hungry. Lunch was a long time ago.”

  “Let’s do it, baby.” Jake stood and grasped the front of her jacket. He took a step in.

  She had a glint in her eye. “No one ever called me baby quite like you, Jake Lawton.”

  Jake embraced her. “I don’t usually say it to anybody.” It was true, but now it had slipped out so naturally.

  Beth slid her hands to his shoulders when he pulled her closer. “We still have strong feelings for each other.”

  His gaze flicked toward the barn. What hadn’t she understood about this whole night? His body already burned inside because of her. Because he wanted something he couldn’t have yet. Yet?

  “I mean, this is a second chance. Can we start over? Or is it only going to be about sleeping together? You did ask me to stay tonight.”

  Sleeping together in addition to? Jake raised his hand to the back of his head and patted his hair in place. “Are you asking for permission or wondering if it’s a possibility to start over?” The horses stabled in the barn nickered. He recognized Blue’s grunt. When Beth didn’t reply, he continued, “Come on, I’ll go check their water buckets while we’re already out.” They walked side by side down the steps.

  At the barn, he sauntered toward the stalls to peek in at their water levels. All had been filled. Facing her, staring into her eyes, brought the past back again. The love. Passion. He could’ve told her how many nights he longed for her after they had parted. And the nightly dreams where he’d wake hugging his pillow, whispering her name, but he wouldn’t. “Don’t you think we need to find out if we have a second chance? You said it yourself. Strong feelings have been awakened.”

  Jake’s phone rang before he had a chance to say anything else. “It’s my mom. I might be taking a ride. Hey, Mom.” But it was his son instead. He glanced down at Beth as she took a few steps away to pat one of the horses on the nose, and he couldn’t prevent his eyes from raking over her fine body. Focus. “Yeah, kiddo?”

  “I wanna come home.” He sniffled but apparently pushed back the sobs.

  “Come on, Kasha.” Jake nudged Beth, directing them back toward the house, and he put his arm around her shoulder. “No, problem. I’ll be there as fast as I can. Are you sick?”

  “Uh uh. I just want to be with you.”

  His throat constricted at his son’s ache. Fear. Mourning. Loss. “Okay, bud, tell Grandma I’ll be there. Trace? Beth is still here. We haven’t had dinner yet. She’ll be hanging around.”

  “Will she be there tomorrow?”

  If only. “I don’t know. Hang up. I need to grab my keys. I love you.”

  Beth removed the jacket to hand back to him. “Do you have time to drop me at home first?”

  “Don’t rush off. We have chicken to cook. Do you want to stay here and grill it, or go with me to pick him up?”

  She wrapped her arms around herself at the chilled evening. “Um, are you sure? I don’t want to cause any problems or make him feel uncomfortable by remaining.”

  Jake slipped the jacket over her shoulders then lifted her chin. “We’ll finish our previous discussion later. I’ll light the grill.” He pivoted but faced her again. “By the way, you haven’t seen the loft in a long time.”

  She slipped her arms into the sleeves of the jacket. “All right, but show me sometime.”

  “Without a doubt, baby. If you can’t find something you need while I’m gone, look for it. Not my bedroom, though.” Teasing her, he smirked. “It’s kind of messy in there.” In truth, it was a bit cluttered, not messy.

  “I promise not to, but one day I plan on going in there with you. You know, if…I mean when.” Beth balanced one foot on a heel, clasped her hands behind her back, and gave a genuine smile. “Bold, aren’t I? Drive safely.”

  The boldness he had always liked still had a way of slipping out. They went inside, and Beth poured a glass of wine. Before Jake went out the door, he crouched, talking softly to the dog as he patted her. “You’re on duty now and staying here with Beth. I’m going to get the boy.”

  She turned up the volume on the radio and danced around the island, smiling as he talked to his animal. “I’ll sip this glass of wine, sit out back to watch the grill and the sunset when I put the chicken on.”

  ***

  Wow, he could hardly believe she’d remain there to cook for him. At his parent’s house, Trace met him at the door.

  “Do you want to see Grandpa’s train?”

  Trace seemed fine at the moment, a little cheery, happy. “Only for a minute. Beth is at the house cooking dinner.”

  “How’d you manage to have someone cook for you?” asked his mom, rounding the corner from their small dining room. Her ash blonde hair was cut short, but ringlets lingered over her forehead—the same style she’d worn for years. A little extra weight around her middle didn’t show that much due to her height of five-foot nine. Jake favored his dad with the brown eyes and dusty hair color.

  “It wasn’t hard. Being hungry had something to do with it. Dinner outside of town didn’t happen, that’s all.”

  “Trace, run in to say bye to Grandpa.” His mom tapped her heel. “I tried to get him to stay, son, but he was too worried. We have to let him be as he is until he feels secure again.”

  “Exactly.” That was the reason he hadn’t wanted him to stay to begin with, but no one listened.

  “Jake, about Beth—”

  Here it comes. He took a seat in the living room on the chair beside the brown leather sofa, and peered out the window. Darkness settled over the yard. “I’m not the same man I used to be, Mom. Don’t worry about it, and there is no need to bring it up again, or blame her.”

  “Fine. I’m glad you asked her and her mom for dinner. It’ll be good for both you and Trace.”

  “And Beth. She recently lost her dad, you know.”

  “Yes. We sent flowers.”

  At the time, and now, he appreciated her kind gesture. “You might as well get used to her. I’m positive she’ll be hanging around a while. We might even make it this time.” He hadn’t meant that to be a slam, or to sound as sarcastic as it had, but his parents had gone along with hers about them not seeing each other. They all did their best to enforce it, with threats of the chance of him going to jail if he persisted in seeing her. By then she was almost eighteen. Jail had been out of the question.

  Their threats hadn’t scared him and weren’t what kept him away from her. Standing, he called his son. “Come on, Trace. Dinner’s waiting.” Jake entered the family room. “Nice train, Dad. Catch y’all later.” With his hand on Trace’s shoulder, he headed toward the door, saying to his mom before exiting, “I love you guys.” He held his mom’s gaze and gave her a favorable nod.

  “You can eat with us if you’re hungry, Trace. Dinner should be ready when we get home.” Jake grew curious as to how his son would behave with another woman in his house. Eventually, he’d want a woman around. Maybe I’m the one wanting a woman around. If anything, a soft touch to caress his skin now and then would be refreshing. He’d been lonely a long time.

  When they pulled in the driveway at home, Trace unhooked his seatbelt and put his hands against the dash. “Where’s her car? Did she leave?”

  “About that. I’ll have to take her home later, er, w-we’ll have to take her home later.”

  Trace slumped back against the seat. “Can we get ice cream then?”

  “We have ice cream here.” He dropped his arm over the seat and mussed Trace’s hair. “Not for breakfast anymore, either.”

  “All right. There’s Beth!” He pushed his door open and jumped down, ran up to her, and gave a shy wave.

>   Jake watched the two of them from inside his truck. Trace did like her, but would he if, or hopefully, when, things got serious?

  Beth yelled for him. “Hey, you coming to eat your steak, cowboy?”

  He shook his head and laughed before getting out. “Don’t you know the difference between steak and chicken, woman?” Jake tapped Trace’s shoulder as they headed toward the back of the house. “Even my kid knows the difference.”

  “I like chicken!” Trace ran through the patio and in through the back door.

  Jake called after him. “Put your toys away. That homework better be done.”

  “He’s amazing, Jake, and so much like you all the way around.”

  “In more ways than one. He likes you, Beth. Don’t hurt my boy, or me.” Damn, where’d that come from? He pressed his fingers against his forehead.

  Beth pulled on his sleeve. “I’ll try never to.”

  Jake gave a subdued smile as he searched her eyes to see if there was a future hidden there.

  ***

  T.J. fell asleep on the floor in front of the TV after dinner. Jake and Beth sat in the kitchen, and he poured her another glass of wine while he finished a beer. “That went okay, don’t you think?”

  “Marvelous. He’s full of curiosity, and I can see the spunk. Like his daddy.”

  “He has spunk.” Jake stood beside Beth at the table. He put his hand on her shoulder, then lifted her face with the other. “About us starting over? The way I see it, we already have started over without even trying. We did it a little backward is all.”

  Beth grasped his hand on her shoulder. “Yes, we have. Do you think the timing is okay? I mean, for T.J., and even you? It hasn’t been that long since—”

  “It’s been more than five months since she walked out. Longer since we’d had any kind of relationship. A hell of a lot longer for intimacy between us. In fact, I barely even remember the last time. I don’t care about the time frame.”

  “I understand, and I’m glad you feel that way, but I don’t want my heart broken, either.” Beth got up from the table, wrapped her hand around the back of his neck. She clenched his shirt up into her other palm.

  He closed his eyes. Some of the things she did never changed from when she was seventeen. But this was today. Yesterday’s memories were just that. Memories. Jake cupped the side of her face and gave her a long and slow kiss that zapped him all the way to his toes. She had met his lips with the same urgency. When it ended, he whispered her name. “So much of what we have, or had, is based on memories. We need to live in today to make new ones. We’re not the same people, yet, we are in many ways.”

  Beth gave a soft smile. “I have to agree.”

  “From this point on, we need to be who we are now, not who we were. Can you?” He met her smile with the same.

  She blinked. “We have no way of knowing what is ahead,” she whispered. “I want to know…and learn to love Jake, the man, and I want to know you in every way as a man.”

  “If my son wasn’t here right now you’d be in my bedroom. Your breath against my ear drives me insane, but you know it does.”

  “Um hmm. It’ll happen, Jake, honey. This didn’t come upon us by chance.”

  “I know it didn’t. So, what’s thirteen years, right? It might be fun making up lost time.”

  “Exactly. Now, you better take me home. I have to pick up my mom in the morning. Oh, I forgot to call her about Christmas dinner. But, I will talk to her tomorrow.”

  “Okay, baby.” Jake pushed back against his counter and continued to hold her. “Let me go rouse my son. I appreciate the help cooking and cleaning up.” With a twisted grin, he muttered, “So you’re not staying tonight?”

  “It’ll be my pleasure later on.” Beth placed her hand against the side of his face. “I mean it. I want us to be us again. Let’s make it happen.” She pulled him close to give him another kiss, as long and as slow as the other one—the stampeding of his senses longer and more powerful than the first time.

  This couldn’t go on without him carrying her to his bedroom, so he pulled away. “Let’s go. I want the same things you want, Beth.” Jake went through to the living room, turned the TV off, and patted Kasha on the head. “Wake up, T.J. We need to drive Beth home.”

  He sat up, rubbing his eyes and began to sniffle.

  Jake sat behind him on the floor and wrapped his arms and legs around him. “What’s the matter?”

  He cried and leaned into Jake’s chest. “I miss Mom.”

  “I know you do, T.J.” Jake gulped in order to shove coarse dryness down his throat. “I know you do.”

  “I don’t want to miss her anymore. It makes me cry, but I don’t want to forget her. I hate crying.” He swiped at his eyes while still sobbing.

  A stake through his heart wouldn’t have hurt more. “I won’t let you. You’ll never forget her, son.” Jake leaned his head against the top of Trace’s head and rocked his boy. He glimpsed Beth standing at the doorway.

  She spoke low. “I’ll call for a ride home.”

  He shook his head no, and held up a finger. This would pass with his son as it always had for the past eight weeks, but it would take a few moments. Jake closed his eyes and held T.J. tight.

  In a few minutes, he pulled away and used his shirtsleeve to wipe the tears from beneath his eyes. “Are we taking Beth home now?”

  “Yeah,” Jake said. “When you’re ready.”

  “Did she see me crying?”

  “Maybe.”

  Trace shrugged. “Darn it. I’ll be right back.” T.J. ran up the stairs to his bedroom.

  The dog attempted to follow, but Jake held her. Had the dog missed Paige, too? “He’ll be right down, girl.” She moseyed into the kitchen.

  Jake stood. He threaded his fingers through his hair and paced before standing in the center of the kitchen facing Beth. “Sorry, but—”

  “Hush, don’t be sorry.” She moved toward him. “It’s painful to see him long for his mom like that. It stabs me in the chest. I can only imagine what it feels like for you.”

  Trace came back downstairs with a teddy bear he hadn’t touched in years. “I’m taking this with me. Don’t tell nobody, Dad.”

  “All right, bud, let’s go.” The dog scurried out the door with them. On the way to the truck, Jake put his arm around Beth as Trace ran ahead with Kasha. “He’s getting better. It didn’t take a half hour this time. The ride will do him good this time of night.” At the truck, he opened the back door for T.J. and the long-haired dog, and the front door for Beth. They started down the dirt road to the highway. He wrapped his hand around hers, even holding it while shifting through the gears.

  “Beth?”

  She turned around when Trace said her name. “Yeah?”

  “Will you come over Sunday to watch me ride Blue? Dad bought me a new saddle. He’s picking it up tomorrow. He told me on the way home from Grandma’s.”

  Her gaze flicked to Jake then back to Trace sitting with his dog at his side. “I can in the afternoon if your dad thinks it’s okay.”

  “Good!” His arms went around his dog, and he gave her a big hug. “Can I, Dad?”

  “Didn’t you want to pitch a few baseballs around to loosen up your arm?” When Trace didn’t respond, he continued, “It’s fine, I’ll pick up your saddle early. In fact, maybe we can all go for a ride if I get a long enough break Sunday after church.” He peered back at his son. “What do you think?”

  Trace smiled. “Alrighty! I get to use my new saddle. We can play catch later, Dad.”

  Chapter 7

  After church, T.J. went home with a friend for a couple hours. Jake checked the time when he arrived back at the ranch after services. He’d finish up some chores and let the ranch hands leave after a rancher from the K & O Ranch, who gave tour rides into the Superstition Mountain, picked up a load of hay for his horses.

  Jake pulled up out front then walked around to the supply barn. “Hey, how’s it going today?”


  Wade looked up from the desk in the office. “It’s been a slow day, but I sold a horse for you.”

  “For us, Wade. You get a percentage of every horse sold. Which horse?”

  “Rambler. He’s a wild stallion. I see why his owner got rid of him. I pushed this sale.” Wade continued, “I called Randy Drake to give him a head’s up. The owner might need his training skills.”

  “Thanks, but I’ll take care of this one. I need a challenge right now. You mind calling Randy and the buyer back to let them know I’ll handle it?”

  “You got two weeks, dude. Plenty of time for you to work on your so-called challenge.” Wade stood and patted him on the back. “It’ll be good to see you out there bucking again. Maybe I’ll stick around to watch.”

  “Great. I might need a hand getting off my ass after being thrown a few times. I’m not twenty anymore,” he said and laughed. “I’ll go change my clothes. Later, I’ll be taking the boy for a ride.” He headed for the door.

  Wade nodded. “Hey, I saw Beth Marconi in town the other day. She’s looking damn good. Hot. Pretty as ever.”

  Jake spun at the door, a little shocked Wade hadn’t seen her before now. I’ll be damn. Was Wade interested in her? “Yeah, she’s been back a while—”

  “I know she has, Jake.” Wade tossed his head back, giving a hardy laugh. “I wanted to make sure you knew. No need for you to ignore her anymore. Neither one of you has a wedding ring on your finger these days.”

  Jake widened his stance and placed his hands on his hips, answering dryly, “She’s divorced. I’m seeing her again. She was over for dinner two nights ago.”

  Wade repositioned his hat on his head. “Oh? I should’ve known you two would’ve hooked up again once you got your head straight.”

  He picked up a lead rope from the floor and hung it over a hook on the first stall. “Don’t call it being hooked up yet. We’ll see where it goes this time. Did you want to date her?” Jake cocked his head and narrowed his eyes, waiting for a reply.