Whispers of Forever: Mending Christmas (Canyon Junction: Hearts In Love #1)

by Mary J. McCoy-Dressel

  He moved to the other end where he could observe her in a chair at the end of the sofa. “Back to you knowing you were getting a divorce. Why get married if you knew it wouldn’t last? I can’t get my brain wrapped around the notion.”

  “Didn’t you do the same thing?”

  “No. I wanted it to last.”

  Beth held her cup on her lap and peered into the caramel colored liquid. Before speaking, she took in and let out a slow breath, even hesitating. Staring into his eyes, she let it rip, “There’s only one way to put this. I had a marriage of convenience.”

  He paused as if peering into her brain could dig out more information. “For what? Did he have to prove something to Grandma to get an inheritance?” Jake laughed sarcastically then lifted his hand to his head.

  Beth did not laugh or even smile.

  “You’re kidding me. You were never in love with him? Why the hell would you marry him?”

  “I loved him, but it wasn’t a romantic love. More like a friend with benefits but not sex.” She glanced away momentarily. “Don’t look at me like I’m a crazy person. All holier than thou, you’re not. It benefited both of us. My mom got off my back, and Ross got what he wanted.”

  Jake sat up, planting his feet square in front of him. “Hmm. Wow.” So she was a married virgin? “Really big of you.”

  “It wasn’t as bad as it sounds. Each of us being discreet was the hardest part. You see, his grandmother never approved of his, um, well, choice in women, but—”

  “Wait, wait, wait.” His palm faced her. “What are you saying?” This morning his head wasn’t clear enough for this bullshit. Marriage of convenience?

  “He fell in love with a high-class call girl, and his grandmother would disown him, cut off his inheritance if he married her.”

  Jake took a drink from his cup, swallowed down the hot liquid. Before speaking, he shook his head. If he wasn’t already buzzed, he’d put a damn shot into the coffee. Ross had not acted like the type who’d hire call girls. “Come on. This isn’t the nineteenth century.”

  “Stop making fun of it. This happens more than you think. You don’t know his grandmother. Being the one who raised him, she had a lot of power over his life and future.”

  “Figures. What a wuss! How the hell did you meet Ross? No, wait, don’t you dare tell me you were—” The idea shot the married virgin issue all to hell. Had Beth been a…a call girl—the way she’d met Ross? God almighty. He sank against the sofa back. Somebody shoot me right now.

  “Shut up. No, I wasn’t! Damn you, Jake Lawton.” Beth rose abruptly, stomping against the floor. She stomped not once, not even twice, but three times. “Damn you. How dare you. I don’t know you.” She turned toward the door, came back to shove his shoulder hard, then she took a step.

  “Don’t go. I’m sorry. But dammit, Beth. Have you listened to this story?”

  “I should slap your handsomely, sick-looking face, but it’s apparent someone already took care of the deed for me. Humph!” She sat back down, folding her arms. “Yes. I know how it sounds. I met him at a party, and we got along great, but not great like we fell into love. We became best friends. I understood his pain, his yearnings, as he did mine, about you. A couple too many shots of tequila in Las Vegas with friends was all it took to say I Do. Everybody was happy in the end, and his grandmother passed away a happy lady.”

  “A deceived, happy lady.”

  “Oh, and you’re so perfect. No.” She slapped her thighs. “His grandmother found out before she died, and once she realized what we had done in order for him—”

  “To be rich?”

  “No. Stop it, Jake! To honor his grandmother’s wishes. She passed away after we got divorced, and she didn’t cut him off. She learned to love his girlfriend, and now fiancée, who is no longer a call girl, by the way, and hasn’t been for years. He came here two days ago to tell me they were getting married.”

  “Wow, you should write a book with that story because it sounds like fiction. What the hell did you get out of your marriage of convenience?”

  Beth rose again. “Maybe I will write a book, wise guy! I got a house out of it if you must know. A nice house for your information, though I wanted nothing. She willed it to me, but I sold it, then gave the money to a charity. I kept what I needed for moving expenses and paid off my mom’s bills. Hold it against me if you will, O’ Jake of no wrong doing. Now for that evil thought about me, I should blacken your eye to match your jaw.”

  “Dare ya.”

  “Smartass! Stop it, Jake.”

  “Speaking of asses, get yours over here, and try to blacken my eye.” He grabbed her, fell back on the couch, and lay back with her in his arms. “I wouldn’t mind some of those benefits, but for the record, are you saying you never had sex with your husband? You’re a virgin?”

  “For the record, although it isn’t any of your business yet… Forget it. You have no right to ask me anything beyond that.” Beth narrowed her eyes, glaring at him as she tried to get free of his arms.

  “Yet, you say?” He laughed.

  “Cut it out. Don’t be so fastidious. That’s not the kind of benefits I want with you.” Beth gave up the struggle and succumbed to his arms. “I have to leave so I’m not late. Now I probably smell like a bar.” She scurried out of his arms when his embrace loosened. “Please tell Trace I’m not going anywhere. I mean, if that’s still how you feel.”

  “My body hard under you just now didn’t give the answer?”

  Beth smiled. “I hoped it was not your belt buckle. Can I see you after work?”

  Jake smirked. Hmm. This little escapade was almost fun. “I’d like to see you this evening. Could you drop me off at Rob’s Place to get my truck? I’ll be surprised if my windows aren’t busted out.”

  Beth ran her fingers over her hair and shook it loose afterward. “Why would they be?”

  Jake stretched his hand out then made a fist. “I kind of threw the first punch. He might take it out on my truck.”

  “Jake, honey, he took it out on your jaw. Is this a common thing with you?”

  Placing his hands behind his head, he closed his eyes a moment. “Not at all. You’ll see.”

  “Well, if we leave now, I can drop you off.”

  “Let me put my boots on.” He stood to search for them. Beth caught him, wrapped her arms around his waist, and moved in close—real close. “Please don’t jump to conclusions if you see something you don’t understand. I’ve made my decision about what I want. I’m back home, and we’re both free again. I don’t think we can let this chance slip away without seeing where it goes.”

  “I agree,” he said, tipping her chin. There was so much he wanted to say. How he never stopped loving her—still holding a deep love in his heart.

  “Listen, I want to be with you. Do you know what I’m saying?”

  “If I had let Paige talk me into moving away… Well, it was always, always in the back of my mind you and I would meet again. I learned to love Paige, I did, but she was never you, and I was never what she wanted. It wasn’t fair to her, but she had her own goals, and long term, I wasn’t ever going to be a part of them. Let’s say she made it clear after a short time in our marriage.”

  “So you never had a real marriage, either, but you wanted it to work. How paradoxical.” Beth pressed her palms against his chest. “I have to go, but tonight I want to sit here with you, even if we don’t talk.”

  “All right. We’ll have to get to those Christmas lights one night soon. Maybe tonight? We can sit here while T.J. decorates the tree afterward. I’ll get it up with lights on it today.”

  Beth fingered the long hair hanging over his forehead and brushed it back. “I can’t wait to spend this Christmas with you guys. We need the magic that comes along with the season. Please grab your keys so we can go.” She eased his face close for a kiss. “Thank you. Thank you for waiting for me.”

  She believed in Christmas magic. Maybe he did, too, or wanted to. “I’m g
lad you came back—”

  Her chin quivered. “But I want to know why you let me go all those years ago. You let me go like it all meant nothing when I was so in love with you.”

  Man. This wasn’t what he wanted to do now. Jake took a step back. He had been as much in love with her. “There is so much you don’t know, either. I had to let you go so you’d have a good life, college, or whatever you wanted. You were only seventeen. I was a punk with no future. Your parents hated me at that point, and you needed them. I had nothing to give you except a job as a ranch hand working for my dad. At least I didn’t then.”

  “I was soon to be eighteen. We ran away together two days after I graduated to be married. Neither your ranch hand job nor my age mattered then—”

  “It did after I had time to think.”

  She cocked her head to the side and gave a shallow sigh. “I wanted you, no matter what. You were all I needed. I waited until the very last second before leaving for college. Hoping. Praying. If only you had come back.”

  Jake shook out his shoulders, remembering the day like it was yesterday. Lowering his head to stare at his empty hands, he didn’t want to admit why he never showed up. On the other hand, he did want her to know. “Lilly had told me when you were leaving. I did come back your last day.” He lifted his head and peered into her eyes. “I was drunk and crazy out of my mind. Wade came with me, and he held me back from letting you see me hammered. We fought. He won…only because he was sober. You would’ve hated seeing me wasted out of my head. It would’ve made the situation so much worse all the way around.” He clutched her face and pressed his lips against her forehead.

  His eyes closed visualizing the agony. “It was a mistake not to come get you. The next day after Thompson dragged you home—when you walked off my porch with my dad holding me back…” He paused a moment, struggling to breathe, to move past the emotion enveloping him all over again. Truth be told. “That night I hit the bottle even harder and didn’t stop for two years. Saddle bronc riding. Women, booze—you name it. Nothing helped the longing.”

  “Oh, Jake.” Beth embraced him and held him tight. “I didn’t know. There were rumors. When I’d come home to visit, I heard them… Our friends said they couldn’t help you—”

  “Not until I learned Paige was pregnant, and I was going to be a father, did I give up the constant drinking to do the right thing. Accepted my fate. I bought this place from my parents with savings from my winnings so they could move into something smaller. I started a business, knowing damn well Paige didn’t want to stay in this little town. Yet, I was in it for the long run—thinking she’d adapt and change her mind once she became a mother. I was wrong. She never hesitated in telling me it was my fault.”

  “What was your fault? You gave up drinking and rousing, and whatever else—”

  “Everything. Everything was my fault in her eyes. The way the clouds flowed in the sky on a particular day.”

  “Omigod. We need to start all over like you said. Live for today, not yesterday.” Beth gave him a soft kiss and backed away. “I’m sorry. I don’t have time to take you for your truck now, though I hate leaving you this way.”

  “Wade Emory, my foreman, will drive me over there. You must remember him.”

  Beth nodded. “Of course. He was one of your sidekicks, or cohorts.”

  “He still is.” He grasped her hands to pull her in close. “Baby, I can’t wait to start over, and we’ll begin tonight.”

  “Nope. It’s like you said, cowboy. We’ve already begun.”

  The evening she had entered the restaurant and said his name, it had begun. Jake smiled before he kissed her deeply. He walked her to the door to hold it open. “See you later.” I’m still in love with you, Beth. She needed to know, but not yet.

  She stopped at her car door, giving a smile that’d brighten midnight. The love radiating from her face about knocked him over. Beth is back. Was Beth back?

  ***

  Jake pulled on a pair of boots at the kitchen doorway and walked out to the barn to find Wade. “Good morning.”

  “Hey,” said Wade as he raked up straw in a stall. “I saw Beth’s car here. You look like you had a wild night. In other words, like hell, man.”

  Jake picked up a shovel. “I wish it had been for a different reason. She came by this morning. I’ll need a ride up to get my truck later.”

  Wade stopped raking momentarily but went back to it. “What the hell happened to the thing?”

  “I left it at Rob’s Place last night and got a ride home.” Jake looked away while kicking around a pile of straw. He hated telling this story to Wade, who had been there nearly ten years ago to get him through the rough times. “I know what you’re thinking. Yeah, I hate to admit it, but old Jake came back out last night.”

  Wade stopped what he’d been doing and gripped the handle with both hands. Stared. “Damn. It does surprise me. I can take you over when you’re ready.”

  “Let me get the other horses out and take some aspirin. I need a shower.”

  “Hey, go ahead. I’ll make sure one of the ranch hands gets the horses out. Everything okay with Beth?”

  “Everything’s fine now. We’re getting back together, Wade. Hell, we don’t have a choice.”

  “Like I told you the other day, dude. You two always should’ve been together. The whole town knew it long ago. I’m glad it sank in both of your thick heads.”

  He leaned the shovel against the wall. “We always knew it. I’ll let you know when I’m ready.” At the door, Jake slowly turned. “Once its claws get into you, you’re a goner. I’ve been a goner for nearly half of my life.” From the time that red-headed teenager strolled into detention.

  “It’s a damn good thing you plan on breaking Rambler, so you can get in touch with your inner man.” Wade put his hat back on and turned toward the office, howling. “I’ll get the other guys busy.”

  When he walked out of the barn, a sheriff’s car sat in the front of his house, and Steve, one of the deputies, got out. Jake’s headache got worse, and he came to a halt. “Wade, you better come out here.”

  Wade ambled up to him. “What the hell’s this about? You didn’t kill somebody last night, did ya?”

  “I kind of got in a fight last night. Steve might be throwing some handcuffs on me. Pay the bail. My wallet’s in my bedroom, I think.”

  “Yep, the old Jake came out. With who this time? I figured Beth gave you the bruise,” he joked.

  Jake bumped against his arm. “Smartass. She almost did. You know the guy spreading rumors about Paige? Him. He deserved it, but Rob stepped in before it went anywhere.”

  Steve sauntered over to them and removed his hat, his face stern, taking his job seriously, no doubt. “Howdy, Jake. I saw your truck at Rob’s Place. Figured I’d come by to check on you. You doing okay?”

  People didn’t forget much around this town. Jake removed his hat to shove hair that had slipped out from under the brim, out of his face. “Ah, yeah, I am now. Don’t worry, I slept it off, sort of.” He stuck his hat back on then rubbed his temples, knowing he could’ve—should’ve slept another few hours. “Anything else?”

  Steve laughed. “What was up with the fight?”

  Shit damn. “Am I getting arrested?”

  “Nobody filed any charges, yet, but if you make a habit of this, eventually somebody’s going to press charges.”

  He’d repeat it again. “No, it was a one-time thing. I know what happened, and it never should’ve. Tell the town Jake hasn’t lost it yet.”

  “I’m going back to work, Jake.” Wade bid farewell to Steve. “Have a good day.”

  Steve lifted his chin. “Wade, take it easy.”

  Jake set his feet in a wide stance and folded his arms. “How’d you find out about the fight—it wasn’t much of a fight—a couple punches.”

  “Yep, and you did throw the first one. I had breakfast with Rob at the Sunset Grille. Apparently, the other guy let it go.”

  Ja
ke raised his hands in front of him, his fingers splayed. “Look, you as well as the rest of the town have heard rumors floating around about Paige. Okay, they’re true, but when his kid gets going on my kid on the playground, that starts a whole new thing. He better shut his kid up. T.J. got suspended over it more than once.”

  “I’ll explain it to Sheriff Thompson, but it better not happen again.”

  Get real, Steve. You’re not talking to a child. “Manning better shut his kid up, and stay out of my way.”

  “You need a ride up to get your truck?”

  “Nah, Wade’s giving me a lift. If we’re done here, I have to get a shower. I’ve blown off too much time already. Work is waiting. The farrier’s coming later. A couple deliveries are being picked up. I gotta go.” Just what he needed. The joke would be on him to be seen getting out of a county sheriff’s car the morning after.

  Steve headed back to his vehicle when Jake went up the porch steps. He turned and nodded to Steve as he drove off. Whew, lucky.

  ***

  He spent most of the day finishing his regular chores, and filled two orders that’d be picked up soon. The artificial tree was in the attic, so he went up there to get it. Jake stood the white tree up in the living room in front of the window where it sat every single year, stared at it, and didn’t like it. White? It hadn’t been his idea. Another thing to be donated with the furniture. Jake picked up his phone and dialed his dad’s house to check on Trace. “How’s it going, Dad?”

  “Your kid is working his behind off clearing those stones I mentioned. His punishment is nearly worked off.”

  “Good deal, and feel free to tell him I agreed. Listen, I’m running into town to pick up a Christmas tree.”

  “A green one? Thank the Christmas angel.” Derrick Lawton laughed.

  Good one, Dad. “I’ll pick Trace up on the way home. Beth is coming over later. I want him here.” His heart raced as he rubbed a sweaty palm against his thigh. “Beth wasn’t the reason I drank myself crazy. It was all my own doing.”

  “No need to bring it up again. As long as it doesn’t have to come up again. I didn’t mention this to your mother.”