Whispers of Forever: Mending Christmas (Canyon Junction: Hearts In Love #1)

by Mary J. McCoy-Dressel

  She pulled on Jake’s shirt from last night and buttoned all but the top two. Brushing her hair reminded her of how Jake pulled on a lock to bring her in for a kiss. A stirring tickled her belly.

  After buttoning the shirt, Beth opened the door. In a slow and quiet walk, she peeked through the door that set ajar to Trace’s room. He remained asleep. Beth tiptoed downstairs in a rush to grab a cup of coffee to bring back upstairs to get dressed and ready. The aroma called her. The house was quiet except for the antique clock ticking on the mantel—the one that used to be his grandmother’s. It was a pleasant sound, reminding her of her own grandmother’s house.

  Downstairs, the tree was lit, and she hadn’t noticed the red bows attached to the greenery on the staircase last night. Jake couldn’t have done the red bows. No way. In the kitchen, the radio beneath the cupboards played Christmas carols. It was not like him to have done holiday music, either.

  She got a mug from the cupboard and poured a full cup, adding cream from a small white pitcher. Beth peeked through the back door curtain. Jake’s mom and dad were out there. Oh, no! Silvia must’ve done the greenery and music. She turned to rush back upstairs, but the back door opened.

  “Oh, sorry,” said a familiar masculine voice.

  “Wade?” Beth ran to stand behind the island. What an idiot to have run down here undressed. How would she have known ranch hands walked in unannounced? She swallowed hard and gulped out, “G-good morning.”

  Peering at the floor, Wade acted uncomfortable not knowing where to lay his eyes, “Ah, mornin’. I came to get a cup of coffee. Jake makes it for us every day…uh, I’ll get it later.”

  “No, get it now. Look the other way for a minute. This is embarrassing.”

  Wade faced the door. “Um, Beth? Heads up. Run. His mom and dad are coming in.”

  “Oh, shit!” Beth spilled her coffee. “Dammit.”

  Wade glanced over his shoulder then followed her gaze and bare legs to the floor. “Go on, I’ll get it cleaned up.”

  “I’ll talk to you later.” She hurried away. “Thank you,” she mumbled over her shoulder. Please don’t let me run into Trace next. Safely in the bedroom, she leaned against the door, with a stained shirt and coffee between her toes. What a sweetheart Wade had been for tipping her off. She’d make sure he got cookies for Christmas. The door opened, shoving against her as she took a sip from her cup. Again, it spilled, but this time down the front of her.

  “Hey.” Jake pushed his way into the room. His gaze journeyed over her. “Good morning, babe. Coffee spilled all over you? Hmm, the same is on the kitchen floor. Have anything to do with the coffee on my best shirt?” He took the mug from her, set it down, and drew her into his arms as if he hadn’t seen her in a week. “I’m dirty.”

  “I don’t mind your dirt, but I’d like to brush my teeth.” She tried to turn away, but he touched the side of her face to make her look at him. He looked all grubby and sexy, and was half-ass smelly, but she wanted him right that moment. Even with his mom and dad downstairs—it didn’t matter. Somebody needed to slap her—to rattle the urge to take him to the floor and love him like a crazy woman. Jake’s morning kisses encouraged the yearning.

  “Wow,” he said, at the end of the kiss. “You taste like coffee, and you know I love coffee.”

  Beth caught her breath. “Is Wade still downstairs?”

  “Yeah, why? He saw you like this?”

  “He saw me like this. How awful.” She fanned her hands over the front of her, not expecting Jake to laugh. “Oops.”

  He kicked the door closed behind him and walked her more into the room. “Might as well make Wade’s morning. Bet he didn’t mind. Lots of work to do today before we close shop.”

  She needed her clothes, which were out of reach. “I don’t know what I was thinking to run downstairs like this. It was early, and I didn’t think Trace would be up, but how’d I know—”

  Jake covered her mouth with his hand. “Hey, no problem.”

  Beth heaved a sigh. “Wade warned me your parents were on their way in so I could skedaddle. The reason for the spill.”

  Jake pulled the shirttail up to discover nothing underneath. Nothing. “Wade saw you dressed in nothing but my shirt?”

  Beth didn’t need any more embarrassment, but nodded. “Your parents already think less of me because I wanted their son when I was a teenager. They probably think I took your virginity, you bad boy.” She snickered. “And I still do want you all the time.”

  “Don’t worry about them. Here I am. Take all you want.”

  Beth pulled out of his arms and picked up her cup. “Don’t get me started again with your kisses. I don’t know why I slept so late, nor did I hear you get up.”

  Standing with his legs wide apart and his arms folded—looking about as sexy as a rugged cowboy could, he eyed her body again. “I’m used to being quiet. I know why you slept so late. The hot water relaxed you, then I got you all wound up again.”

  “That you did, Mr. Lawton. How proud you are, too.” Beth kissed him. “How long are your parents going to be here? I’m embarrassed to go down. Do they know I’m here?”

  “I don’t know if they do or not. Calm down. They’re leaving, and only came in to bring their cups. I’ll run down to say goodbye.” Jake went to the door, whirled around, and grinned, “You don’t have to get dressed. I can take a break.”

  “As tempting as it is, no. You go to work so you’ll finish in time for dinner. It looked like a big old load rolling up the driveway earlier.”

  “It wasn’t a load, darlin’, that was my truck. We deliver large orders when we can. The driver made it home for Christmas this year.” Jake removed his hat and placed it against his chest. “Yeah, dinner with the seniors tonight. Bet we’ll hear some cool stories.”

  Beth unbuttoned the shirt while he waited with one hand on the doorknob. “We sure will. I’ll say goodbye before I leave. Where will you be?” His gaze ran over her. Any minute he’d be in front of her stripping her naked.

  “The supply barn. You might as well meet the rest of the crew, but honey, let me tell you something,” he said obstinately. “Don’t let my ranch hands see you undressed again.” His gaze flitted over her all the way to her polished toenails.

  “This’ll never happen again. I’m probably still blushing, but don’t be so bossy or jealous.” Blushing wasn’t like her, but it happened a lot lately around this hot rancher. Beth sat on the bed to pull on her panties and jeans while glancing up at him. “Your mom decorated some this morning?”

  “It’s obvious I didn’t. Catch you later. Man, you’re sexy in the morning. I wish you were taking them off instead of the opposite. Keep wearing my shirts. It entices me.”

  “See you, sweetie.” Standing at the door with his gaze still upon her, it’d be likely he’d devour her any second. She flicked her fingers for him to leave.

  Shaking his head, he grinned. “Lock the door. Trace might come in. I’ll have to get him back to knocking before he enters.”

  “I love you.”

  “Me too. I’m eager to spend this Christmas with you, Beth.”

  Ecstatic didn’t describe how she felt about sharing Christmas with him. Her feet barely touched the ground these days.

  A few items for the holidays still had to be picked up, so she did a better job with her hair and applied lipstick. Back downstairs, Trace was at the kitchen table trying to pour a full gallon of milk. “Hey, Trace, want some help with pouring?”

  “I got it. Dad said you were upstairs.” His expression was blank. Maybe he wasn’t a morning person.

  Beth stood beside him at the table. She wanted to brush her fingers through his crop of unruly hair, but she’d better not push. “Um hmm. I have to leave now, but first I’ll run out to say bye to your dad. Do you need my help? Is there anything I can do for you before I go?”

  Trace held the milk jug with two hands, halting at mid-pour, glaring at her with ice in his eyes. “You’re not my mother.”


  Beth gasped, taken aback at the harshness of his words. Her hand shot to her mouth to quell the wound in her heart, which escaped as a whimper from her throat. She hadn’t even heard when Jake came in the door until he strode to the table.

  “Trace? What the hell?” Jake held his hands out in question to his son. She was the cause of the scowl on Trace’s face.

  “She isn’t, Dad.” He picked up his cereal bowl and headed to the other room to watch TV.

  Before he exited, Beth found her voice. “I’m sorry, Trace. I’m not trying to be your mother. Please forgive me.” She rushed past Jake as he came around the table. He held her arm, but she jerked away, unable to make eye contact with him. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to interfere—to interfere with your lives.”

  He grasped her arm again and held. She needed to get out of there before the dam broke. “Let me go.” He released her. Emotionally beaten, she retrieved her purse from the counter, hurrying outside, only to remember she didn’t have her car. Wade walked up at the best moment. “Take me home, Wade. Please get me out of here.”

  Wade glanced at the door, protectively took her arm, and directed her a couple yards away from the porch. “I’m parked at the barn. What the hell happened?”

  “Please, can you take me home without asking questions right now?”

  Jake came out the door with Trace in tow. He narrowed his eyes at Wade. “I’ll take you home, Beth.”

  The last thing she wanted was to be in a vehicle with him. “No, I have a ride.”

  More demanding than Beth had ever heard him, he bellowed, “I’ll take you home.”

  Arguing or making a scene wouldn’t help the situation. Two other ranch hands stopped what they were doing near the barn door and stared. Wade still waited; however, she indicated to him it’d be okay. “I’ll see you later. Thanks.”

  Wade nodded, but stood there shoving his hands into his back pockets, glaring at Jake.

  “I’ll be back shortly, Wade.” Jake opened the truck doors for her and Trace. Before he closed hers, he peered at her for an answer. When none came, he said in a near whisper, “Don’t go. He didn’t intend to hurt you.”

  “Stay here and let Trace finish his breakfast. He needs to be with you, Jake.” She stared straight ahead. “I have to help my mom. You and Trace don’t have to come for dinner. Don’t make everyone uncomfortable.”

  “I want to come to your house, Beth.” Trace leaned forward and put his hand on the back of the seat, his fingers against her shoulder. “I want to see your tree.”

  Beth hung her head so she didn’t have to look at the boy or Jake—not because she was angry at either of them, but so neither saw tears waiting to fall. The lad’s heart was broken, and she added to his agony by moving so soon, expecting too much from him. “Remember, we didn’t put up a tree, Trace?”

  An adamant tone to his voice, Jake told her, “We’ll be there on time.”

  No, for it wasn’t what she wanted now. She had interfered with the situation that Jake and Trace had learned to live with since Paige had been gone—the balance upset, and she should have seen it before. Trace suffered, and it had to be difficult for him at Christmas—she had pushed her way into his life. No, she couldn’t allow this to happen…not yet, maybe later. He needed to heal. Maybe Jake did too. Either way, his son needed his full attention. “My mom will understand if you don’t come. Stay home, all right. It isn’t a question.”

  On the way to her house, Jake reached for her hand and squeezed. “We’ll be there on time, I said. No one’s going to be uncomfortable, unless you choose to create a scene.”

  He didn’t get it. Beth sat without speaking the rest of the way, hesitating with an ache in her heart when Trace asked her why they didn’t put up a tree. Thankfully, Jake answered him by reiterating her mom didn’t want one this year. Trace said goodbye when she got out. She mumbled the same back and ran up the steps to the porch without as much as a glance back, for it would hurt too much.

  Inside, she went to her room without searching for her mom. Dropping her purse, she stood at the foot of her bed. The words on the wall above the headboard written long ago screamed out to her. Mrs. Beth Lawton. Mrs. Beth Lawton. Were they destined not to be together? Maybe they had thought of this the wrong way, and it wasn’t a mistake when they were separated years ago. She lay on the bed, hugging her frilly, pink pillow. I didn’t mean to hurt Trace.

  ***

  Forty minutes later, Beth trudged downstairs to make a pot of strong coffee. She took a bell-shaped sugar cookie from the plate, wandering through the house seeking her mother’s whereabouts. Rustling sounds led her to her mom’s room at the end of the hallway. Entering, Beth licked remnants of frosting from her lips. “What are you doing, Mom?”

  “Hi, sweetheart. I’m going through old memories.” Isabella’s reddened eyes misted now. “I know Elly will be here soon, but I had to take one look. I miss your papa.”

  Beth placed her hand on the doorjamb. “I’ll be right back. Do you want some coffee?”

  Isabella gulped out in a shaky voice, “Coffee would be nice.”

  “I’ll bring the cookies, too.” In the kitchen, Beth covered her face with her hands—held back tears wanting to fall. Sadness surrounded her today, but she refused to let it take her over, needing to be there for her mom. She poured them both a cup and set the cookie plate and cups on a tray, then headed back to her mom’s room. “These cookies are good. Who made them?”

  “Judy Carlson brought them over. She makes them every year for the joy of doing it. Now, it’s become a family tradition at her house.”

  “A nice tradition. What are you going through here?” Beth took a seat on the bed and spread out a pile of pictures of her parents in their earlier years and other random shots. She had her own boxes of memories tucked away in her closet. This surely wasn’t the time to revisit them. Scattering pictures across the bed, she picked up one of her and Jake before they had left for his senior prom. She sat her cup down, and tears welled in her eyes after all. Why did she have to still love him? It was so much easier when she’d been gone and didn’t have to deal with him, or her feelings.

  “What’s the matter?” Her mom’s gaze dropped to the photo in her hands. “I always loved the picture of you and Jake leaving for his prom. You both looked so grown up. Did something happen between you two? Is he still coming for dinner with his son?”

  “He said he was, but I told him not to come. A stubborn man he is and wouldn’t listen.” Beth explained what T.J. had said, and how it had affected her. “He’s a hurting little boy, and I fear I made it worse by pushing into their family too soon. The child misses his mother.”

  “Honey, you can’t expect him not to miss his mamma, especially now at Christmas.”

  “I don’t expect him not to miss her. Of course he will, he’s only a little boy. I’m an adult and I miss my father. My heart has an ache for Trace. I’m not going back there. Whatever happens from this point on, happens.”

  Isabella took a drink of the strong brew then placed her cup on the cherry wood side table. She observed the scattered images all over the homemade patchwork quilt, lovingly glancing to Beth. “But, what about the feelings you have for Jake, figlia mia? You haven’t been able to set them aside in all this time. What in Heaven’s name makes you think you can do it now?”

  Isabella took Beth’s cup and set it aside. She picked up her hand and held it between her own. “I’m your mother, and I know how you feel about him, and always have. These years have changed nothing as far as feelings go. Do you think you hid it from me, even when you were married to Ross?”

  Beth went into her head a moment, finding nothing but the blues there, though she tried to shove the despondent mood away. Her mom was right. Throughout the years there were times her stomach twisted in knots over wanting to be with him again. The yearning that would wash over her body at only a flicker of a memory, even when she hadn’t seen him for years. They were connected in some w
eird way. How could she deny it? But the timing wasn’t right after all. “Mom, I can’t cause them pain. Trace isn’t ready for another woman in his life.”

  “Trace isn’t Jake. I observed the three of you together from a distance the night of the tree lighting. The little boy adores you, but he had a moment’s weakness. Apparently, Jake is ready. You told me he’d been estranged from a relationship with his wife for years. Do you honestly think you can give up on a chance…a chance you’ve dreamed about? If you woke up tomorrow knowing you’d not see him again, would you be satisfied? Living in this small town, you’ll run into him often.”

  “I have to for now. We rushed into this so quickly—pretended those years apart didn’t exist.” Like they could pick up where they left off, but in reality, everything had changed when they wanted to believe it hadn’t. Beth reached for her coffee. “How’s dinner prep going? I’ve been so neglectful lately. Sorry, Mom.”

  “We’re fine. Elly and I made a lot of our appetizers yesterday. Some of the dinner fixings have to be warmed up when we’re all ready, but the cold cuts and cheeses are prepared.”

  “You should have told me so I could’ve been here.”

  “Not to worry. It reminded me of what I used to do back in the day. I had a good feeling while prepping. My night is free to entertain and chat with my guests. It’s well you learn that too, dear. We’re Italian. When we have guests in our homes, we honor them, and cater to their needs.”

  Beth sighed and glanced out the window at the Superstition Mountains across the desert in the short distance. The cacti had grown throughout these long years away. How long had it been since she had ventured up the mountain? “I know. I carried the tradition on when I was married to Ross. He’s getting remarried, you know.”

  Isabella gasped. “What? Is this good news for you?”

  “It’s marvelous. I want to see him happy.” He’d been happy all along, but her mom didn’t need to know the circumstances in which he was happy. “We had good years, and he deserves to go on.”