by Lisa Heaton
Eliza’s eyes grew wider and wider. “I’ll have you know, I’ve had plenty of attention from men since I’ve been here, young as well as old.” Eliza glared at her. “And from all ranks.”
“How nice for you. Maybe you will actually catch one of them.” She nodded curtly at Eliza. “If you will excuse me, I have real queen things to tend to.”
Poised every moment of her retreat, Isabel would never allow the horrid woman to know she was devastated. Without question she now knew the truth: Colin had, indeed, had an affair with Eliza. It wasn’t likely still going on, but something had happened. If Isabel had to guess, that was what had kept him occupied all those times he never appeared for supper during those weeks before they came to their current understanding.
Never had she been more hurt by any revelation, but for the life of her, she would never show it to Eliza or Colin. To that end, for another hour, she greeted guests with a smile and carried on conversations as if nothing traumatic had happened.
Finally, seeing that Eliza was engrossed in conversation with George, Isabel took this as her opportunity to sneak away unnoticed. Over the past few minutes she had found herself shaking uncontrollably and feeling faint. Since she hadn’t eaten much at suppertime, she was feeling the effects of it. Her hope was to reach her room and rest. She would explain to Colin later.
About midway up the massive staircase, Isabel could do nothing but sit. So dizzy that she feared falling, she sat and clung to the railing. Too weak to continue on, she rested her head on a step and closed her eyes.
Eventually she looked up to find Elias climbing the stairs two by two.
He knelt before her but never touched her. “Call for the king. The queen has taken ill.”
The moment Colin reached them, Elias stepped aside to allow the king access. “I found her collapsed here, Your Majesty. She has been conscious for as long as I’ve been here but shaken and weak.”
Colin scooped his wife into his arms and began kissing her cheek. “We will call the physician to attend you immediately.”
Isabel was too alarmed over the two men sitting there beside one another to be worried about how she felt. “I will be fine. I’m embarrassed more than anything. I didn’t eat well at suppertime and am only now feeling the effects of it.”
“I will have a tray brought to your room.”
Isabel looked away from Colin, the concern in his eyes more than she could take at the moment. After her conversation with Eliza, she wasn’t sure she could ever look at him the same again.
Colin nodded toward Elias. “Thank you for watching over her.”
“I’m relieved all is well, sir, and glad that I happened by.”
Once Isabel was resting comfortably in her bed, Colin sat with her and made sure she ate a little something.
“Why haven’t you eaten well?”
She kept her gaze fixed on her tray. “I have terrible heartburn. It was so bad earlier that I could hardly eat. It’s so painful at times, I have to sleep sitting up.”
“I should know that,” he whispered under his breath. “I will sleep here from now on so that I can watch over you.”
“There’s no need for that.”
After her conversation with Eliza, the last thing she wanted was to invite Colin into her bed. Just as the little twit had said, Isabel did look as if she would pop at any moment. With chubby cheeks and swollen everything, how could she expect Colin to find her at all attractive? Other than enjoying her large belly, he must be repulsed by her these days.
If not in such a state, Isabel would ensure that Colin never looked at Eliza again, but currently, she could do nothing but continue to grow more grotesque and unappealing compared to the woman Colin was obviously attracted to.
“Need or not, I intend to stay here.”
She didn’t question his concern for her, but more than concern, she sensed Elias finding her played a part in Colin’s insistence on staying the night. Because of that, she dared not say another word. The last thing she needed was for Colin to become angry over Elias. Things were going too well for that.
She sighed the moment she considered the phrase going too well. At least it had been before Eliza’s hint of revelation tonight. This would take time to process. What she did know was that she wasn’t going to confront Colin over it, not now anyway. The simple truth was, she had no reserves to draw from to fight for him. If he wanted Eliza then he would have to go to her. Until Isabel safely delivered this baby, she had no intention of causing upheaval in her life.
***
Colin woke to an empty bed. It was barely light out, so it took him a few seconds to locate Isabel sitting on the window seat.
“Are you better this morning?”
Already he was concerned at finding her gone from bed and then especially so when she wouldn’t turn to look at him when she said that she was better.
When he went to her and sat, he noticed how she hesitated to look at him. “Isabel?”
“Thank you for staying with me last night, but I am well now.”
“I want to be here with you from now on. We’re married and should be together.”
She snapped at him. “That’s never seemed to bother you before.”
Taken back by her tone, he said nothing for a moment.
“Isabel, I haven’t stayed so that I might woo you and earn the right to return to your bed. Please allow me to return now so that I can watch over you.”
“I am restless at night, barely able to sleep. It’s just easier if I sleep alone.”
“I understand. If that’s what’s best for you, I will wait until after the baby comes.”
“I think it best.”
He felt it. Something had happened to draw her away from him. It wasn’t as if he didn’t have experience with this back and forth life they lived. Not so coincidentally, she had seen Elias the night before. That made her emotions this morning much easier to comprehend.
He stood and went to dress. Clearly she wanted him gone, and he had always tried to give her what she wanted.
***
The moment Colin left her, Isabel broke down. All night, at least when she did sleep, she dreamed of Colin with that dreadful Eliza. She had tossed and turned, unable to get her nightmare images out of her waking mind. This was what she had needed since returning to her room last night. She needed to cry over the fact that her husband had taken a mistress, or if not formally taken a mistress, he had found a lover for a time. Of all people, Eliza! How absolutely dreadful it was.
When she could finally get up and move around, Isabel dressed and went to the chapel. Even there, she could find no peace. Until the night before, she had been utterly convinced that Colin would never have done something like that. Maybe it was easier with someone he didn’t care about like Eliza, without the fear of developing deeper attachments. He was a passionate man. It was possible that he simply needed a release that he wasn’t able to find with his wife while they were so far apart. Even still, it surprised her.
All morning she had been trying to make some sense out of this, when it was all very simple. Colin was jealous of Elias and had acted out because of it. It was as he said, they were witnessing a landslide, and the entire side of the mountain continued collapsing as Elias rolled down hill.
While Colin tried to accept all the blame for sending Elias in the first place, the true sin always went back to the same woman who chose to enter into a relationship outside of her marriage. No matter the circumstances of her marriage, she had no right. Similarly, Colin had no right to do the same. Falling and falling was the debris of their landslide of a marriage. Would it ever end and leave them a safe place to begin cleaning up the rubble? For now, it was a dangerous place to work with more falling fragments from each of their choices still bombarding them.
Isabel sat up straight in her pew at the feeling of discomfort in her lower back. Since she was almost always uncomfortable somewhere, she tried to disregard it – until it struck again. Crying out this
time, she tried to stand but then had to sit until it passed. When the contraction ended, she stood and made her way toward the back of the chapel. Even before reaching the door, another struck, one so intense that it brought her to her knees.
On hands and knees, Isabel crawled through the doorway and called for help. Soldiers ran to her and lifted her, carrying her toward the palace.
***
Colin paced in front of the fire in the library, about to lose his mind. Many hours had passed and still Isabel had yet to deliver. When he was first told that she was in labor, he went to her room but was turned away by the physician with the assurance that there was a long day ahead. He left only because the physician added that Isabel had asked that he not be present. She was too uncomfortable to have the king witness the birth.
All morning he had tried to sort through what had happened the night before and what he woke to find this morning. As far as he could figure, it could be nothing but Elias’s influence on her. What else could cause her to change so drastically in one evening? Even at supper she was jubilant.
Unable to wait for an update, Colin went again to her room and tapped on the door. The physician answered and met him in the hallway.
“Tell me she is safe.”
The physician shook his head, his expression now grim. “The queen is much further along in the delivery than I thought when I arrived. It seems her labor pains have been going on for some time now, ones she dismissed as mere discomfort. She’s now at the stage of pushing but seems to be making little progress.”
“Meaning?” These words were Colin’s first indication that there was cause for concern.
“The babe isn’t dropping into position.”
Colin’s throat was suddenly constricted and visions of blood filled his mind. “Like Melody?”
“No, Your Majesty, nothing like that. The late queen had a tear in the sack that held your daughter. That’s what led to the bleeding. This is different, just a slower than routine birth.” He tried to reassure his king. “You have a stubborn son on the way, I’m assuming.”
Colin was hardly relieved and wanted to see for himself. “May I come in now?”
“She is tired, and I don’t want her upset.”
“Why would she be upset?”
“You tell me.” Lawrence shook his head. “She asked that you not come in. Now let me get back to her.”
***
Hours more passed and Isabel was so weak that she could no longer lift herself into position to push. Each time now, a midwife would have to get beneath her and hold her up. The circumstances were dire and her baby was at risk. She noted how the physician and midwives exchanged knowing glances. Much more of this strain on the baby and the child would surely die. The only option to save her baby was to remove him.
Isabel lay back again, spent and fighting to stay conscious. “Cut me.”
“I can’t do that, Your Majesty.”
“He will die otherwise.”
“You will die if I do.”
Isabel closed her eyes. “Save my child.”
“I can’t make that decision.”
“I’m making it for you.” Her voice was so weak that it hardly contained authority. “I’m commanding you to cut me open and save this baby.”
Lawrence turned to a midwife. “Call for the king.”
***
When Colin reached Isabel’s door, he paused for only a second and whispered, “I know You don’t make deals, especially with men like me, but I’m offering you the remainder of my life if only You will carry my wife through this. Please save her. I will be Yours and follow you until my dying day.” He rested his head on the door. “I will be Yours regardless. I can’t live so far from You anymore. I’ve destroyed my wife because of it.”
When Colin stepped into the dimly lit room, his knees buckled at the sight of his wife there white as a sheet and drenched in sweat. With little strength of her own and a small framed woman beneath her for support, Isabel was pushing, giving it all she had in her declining state.
He moved to the side of the bed just as the woman lowered Isabel onto the mattress.
Lawrence leaned in and took hold of the king’s arm. “The queen can’t take much more of this. If something doesn’t happen soon, sir, we will lose them both.”
“Oh, God. No!” He knelt on the bed, grabbed Isabel into his arms, and rocked her gently, his shoulders shaking with silent sobs.
Isabel whispered, “You have to let him take the baby. Tell him to save our child, Colin. Tell him.”
He lowered her back onto her pillow, unsure of what she was saying. He turned to the physician. “What does she want you to do?”
“I can perform a cesarean operation and remove the child from her womb.”
“Do as she says.”
Lawrence swallowed hard. “It will kill your wife.”
“Then you will do no such thing!” His shout was so unexpected in the quiet room that the physician jumped.
Colin sprang from the bed and took hold of the man’s vest. “You save my wife. Do you hear me?” Colin shook him. “You save my wife now!”
“Please. He will die otherwise.”
When Colin heard Isabel’s soft words behind him, he turned to her, shaking his head, crying and mouthing the word no. He moved onto the bed and once again drew her into his arms. “You promised me. I won’t let you die.”
Colin turned to the others. “Leave us.”
After Colin’s outburst and physical assault against the physician, all present scrambled without having to be told a second time.
Once they were alone, Colin moved in close and grabbed her by the shoulders. “You will push and you will fight until all hope is lost. I know you’re tired and have little strength remaining, but now I’m here to hold you up.”
“He may save your kingdom.”
“But you have saved my life.” He rested his head on her chest. “I choose you over this kingdom, Isabel. I choose you.”
Colin called for the physician. “We will continue to push. Now get into position to catch that baby.”
Just as Colin had witnessed the woman do, he lifted Isabel up and moved beneath her so that he could hold her in position while she pushed.
“I’m here,” he whispered near her ear. “I’m pushing with you. We are finally doing something right together.”
Isabel’s eyes rolled back in her head as she struggled to remain conscious. She blinked and blinked again. “Cut me!” She screamed at the top of her weakened voice.
“Push!” Colin shouted.
This continued for several more minutes until the physician whispered, “I feel him moving.”
“Push, my love. Please push.”
Word traveled first around the palace, by order of the king, that all who were not currently serving the queen or the delivery in any way were to drop to their knees in prayer for the queen and her child. News next reached the village of the royals and the village town outside of the palace gate. Too, a rider was dispatched to Deslan to plead for prayer. Soon enough, all within reach of the palace were desperately praying for a miracle.
Margaret doubled over and pressed her face to the floorboards and cried out to the Lord to save the queen and her child. Eric and Sybil knelt together in the royal cottage in the room where the nursery would be and prayed for God to spare the child and their generous friend, Isabel. Sails dropped to half-mast, and even the most hardened sailors prayed for the kind and accepting woman who now called the citizens of Deslan her friends.
***
The room was quiet when Isabel woke. When memories of her last waking moments came rushing back to her, her first thought was to reach for her now deflated stomach. The feeling of her missing baby caused her to cry silently in her grief. In all the months of waiting, this was something she had never considered, the possibility of losing her child during birth.
Why had Colin done that, allowed their child to die so that she would live? He had chosen her over his
kingdom. Those were his exact words. All she remembered after that was him shouting for her to push. Now, he must surely regret his choice.
She blinked, allowing her eyes to focus in the dimly lit room. When she turned, she found her husband sleeping in a chair next to the bed. Her movement roused him and he rushed to her side.
He planted kisses along her cheek. “Thank God, you’re awake.”
His concern for her made her cry harder. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.” She writhed in agony at the emptiness she felt within and could only cry out.
“Why are you sorry?”
“You should have allowed them to take our baby. Why didn’t you save him?”
“Isabel!” He shook her. “Listen to me.” When she had calmed enough to hear him, he smiled at her. “It’s time that you meet our son.”
“Our what?”
“Our son. We have a beautiful baby boy, tired and tiny and weak, but healthy.”
Isabel tried to sit up, but Colin held her in place. “You must stay here and rest. I will bring him to you.”
“Where is he now?”
“In the nursery with the nanny and wet nurse.”
“No! I want to nurse him.”
“I’m sorry. I didn’t know.”
“I told the nanny, and she said Gerard was insisting that royals don’t nurse. I told them no, and they’ve taken him anyway.” Tears began pouring down her cheeks again. “Bring him to me. Please don’t let them take him from me.”
“You must calm down.” He stood but was still bent over her. “I will bring your son to you. No one will ever take him away from you. If you want to nurse, then you shall nurse.”
***
When Colin opened the nursery door, he found the nanny sitting near a small cradle, humming a soft lullaby. The wet nurse was in a chair nearby.
“Why didn’t you tell me that the queen wants to nurse our son?”
Both jumped to their feet, looking wild-eyed back and forth between each other and the king. The nurse stammered, “Gerard instructed us to care for the child properly.”
“You disobeyed the queen’s direct order?”
“We didn’t know what else to do. Gerard was adamant and would have dismissed us both for not following his orders.”
