Dangerous Joy

by Jo Beverley

  "True, true. But that is precisely my concern, Miss Monahan. Knowing as I do how little dependence may be placed on Mr. Dunsmore, I have to take an interest myself in the poor lad. What are you up to?"

  Felicity flicked a look at Miles, but he was still bland. Was Mr. Craig's concern genuine, or was he mainly interested in a juicy estate?

  "I'm not up to anything, Mr. Craig. The honest truth is that Mr. Dunsmore is inclined to take his ill-humor out on his child. Since Kathleen's death, he's fallen into debt, and his attempts to squeeze more money out of his tenants have angered the local people. He's become quite cruel. When Mr. Cavanagh's mother offered to have the boy visit her, I thought it would be a welcome respite."

  Michael Craig rubbed his square jaw. "I doubt he is a kind father. But the boy cannot be kept out of his hands forever. I did offer to take the lad into my own household, but he refused."

  And what would have happened to a child who stood between you and an inheritance?

  "As to that, Mr. Craig, there is a possibility that Kieran will remain in the charge of the Earl of Kilgoran. Mr. Dunsmore has no real interest in his son and has agreed that such an arrangement would be suitable."

  Michael Craig flashed a penetrating look between Felicity and Miles. To Miles, he said, "And you, I hear, are the heir to Kilgoran."

  "For my sins."

  "Humph!" He rose to his feet. "I sense all kinds of goings on, but I'm willing to believe you are trying to do your best for the boy. My children are grown and I've no desire to have a young one about anymore. But I give you fair warning," he said, scowling at both of them, "that I will have an eye on the welfare of my cousin's child. It was I who hired Mrs. Edey, you know."

  "No," said Felicity. "I didn't. She's an excellent woman."

  "Indeed she is. I checked her references most closely. That Dunsmore was apparently going to leave the boy in the care of servants. I hope you intend to keep her on."

  "Oh, yes."

  "Good." He scowled even more ferociously. "Tell her to write to me. Regularly! The boy will not be undefended."

  The man's concern was genuine! Ashamed of her suspicions, Felicity smiled at him. "Mr. Craig, I think Kieran is most fortunate to have you as his relative."

  "Ah, well," the man muttered uneasily, "as to that, I wonder if I should have done more. But a father's rights, you know. A father's rights."

  "I do understand. But since Mr. Dunsmore has willingly given up his rights, we can all be easy about it."

  Mr. Craig nodded. "I hope so. And if young Kieran has need of anything... My finances are not at their best just now—a ship gone down and some damned malcontents damaging my manufactory—but I still have enough to help my family. He should not be beholden to strangers."

  "We'll remember that."

  But as Felicity said farewell to the man, a splinter of unease fretted her.

  When Mr. Craig had left, Miles said, "Extraordinary. Behind that grim exterior beats quite a warm heart."

  "Kathleen was just like that." Felicity wondered if she should tell Miles about her concern, but she needed to think about it first.

  She thought about it throughout the day, and even through a most entertaining visit to Astley's Amphitheater.

  No amount of thinking could change her mind, however, and that night she pulled on her wrap and slipped down the corridor to Miles's room.

  He was in bed, but reading by the light of a candle.

  He slept naked.

  "What is it?" he asked warily. "I'm in no state to get out of bed."

  Felicity wanted nothing more than to slip into bed beside him, but she kept her distance. "Don't worry. I've not come to assault your virtue. I have something I need to talk about."

  He put his book aside. "Pass me my banjan and I won't have to offend your modesty."

  She laughed as she tossed it over. "It'd be no offense, just temptation, as well you know."

  He slipped out of bed and into the garment decently enough and directed her to the two chairs on either side of the glowing fire. When they were seated, it was as safe a situation as it could ever be when they were alone together, never mind half-naked in a bedroom.

  She shivered with desire but firmly tamped it down.

  "Now, a muirnin," he prompted, "what is it?"

  She stared at the glowing coals, not sure how to put her disquiet into words. "I can't feel it's right to seek happiness through lies and theft."

  "There are such things as white lies, you know. Ones that lead to good, not evil."

  "True..."

  "Telling the truth about what happened all those years ago would only hurt you and Kieran. It would help no one."

  "It would draw Rupert's teeth. He could tell all in spite."

  "He'd be mad."

  "Sometimes he is mad. But there's another side to this."

  "Yes?"

  "Michael Craig."

  "I thought today's visit would reassure you."

  "It did, in a way, but it also disturbed me. Don't you realize? By right, he should have Loughcarrick. That's what I meant by theft. By this deception, we are stealing the property from him, property it's clear he needs. It can't be right."

  Miles rested his head back to think, and the firelight glimmered on neck and jaw in a way that could almost distract her from her purpose.

  She broke the silence. "I think we have to tell the truth, lance this ancient wound and let the poison run free. That's the only way we can start our life together in honesty."

  He lowered his eyes to look at her, smiling slightly. "Our life together. I like the sound of that. But it won't be easy."

  "I know."

  "You'll be exposed to a great deal of unpleasant attention."

  "I know."

  "Kieran will be labeled a bastard and a child of scandal."

  She gripped her hands together. "I know."

  He rose and pulled her to her feet. "The cockeyed honor of a wild patriot-boy. I knew from the first you'd give me trouble."

  "You were certainly right."

  "How dense of me not to immediately know you'd bring me such joy."

  His kiss was almost reverent, but did not lack passion. Felicity returned it in the same spirit. She intended no assault at all, but then—without thought—her hands slipped around him beneath his robe, so he was naked to her, his need apparent...

  He held her breathlessly close for a long moment, then moved away, retying his banjan. "Two weeks until your birthday."

  She found the strength to match his level tone. "I think I'll quite miss having such a stalwart guardian."

  "No, you won't," he said absolutely, leading her to the door. "In fact, I'm setting you free now. It's never sat easy with me to override your will, and since you clearly are not going to give yourself to Dunsmore, there's no more reason to. Whether the truth is told or not is your business, both on your behalf and on Kieran's. I'll help and support you, but I won't force your actions in any way."

  Felicity hugged herself. "I feel strangely naked."

  He laughed. "Don't put such ideas into my already-weakened brain. You're free. But let's see if we can't think of some way short of public revelation."

  Knowing better than to touch him, no matter how much she longed to, Felicity simply said, "I do love you, you know. More than I ever felt it possible to love another adult. It's a disconcerting, weakening kind of emotion, isn't it?"

  "Very. Particularly the weakening bit. You are going to marry me on your birthday, aren't you?"

  "Do you insist on marriage before giving in to weakness then?"

  His eyes were dark with desire. "I'll soon not be in a state to insist upon anything."

  "I feel like a mare in heat, and you're behaving very like a stallion." She turned suddenly to hide her face against the cool door. "We're mad!"

  He trapped her there with his body, big, hard, hot, his hands over hers. "We should never have let the passion run free that day in the billiard room. There's sense behind chaperoning aft
er all. I'd better remind Beth of it, or one day I'll cover you with as little thought...."

  His hips moved against hers, then with a curse, he pushed away to stand at bay on the far side of the room. "No more times alone together, Felicity. None."

  She ached for what he wanted but knew he was right.

  "I never thought to look forward to a birthday quite this much," she said, and left him in peace.

  * * *

  Miles spent most of the next day safely out of the house arranging for Rupert's money and its manner of payment. The Rogues had put a watch on the weasel, and it seemed he was staying in his hole nursing his wounds.

  Felicity enjoyed the sight of the Rogues in less violent action, easing Serena Middlethorpe into the haut ton with hardly a ripple. At the same time, however, she struggled for a way out of her moral dilemma.

  She would accept any cost to herself, but she hesitated to tell the truth when both Miles and Kieran would suffer from it.

  On the other hand, she felt deeply that nothing could prosper based on the outright dishonesty of depriving Michael Craig of the estate that was legally his.

  All day, Felicity's mind went round and round the problem like a turn-spit dog. Then, it threw up a solution.

  Chapter 25

  The next day, she invited Miles to talk with her in the safety of a stroll around Marlborough Square. Relative safety, anyway. She couldn't be sure they wouldn't scandalize the area by making passionate love next to the duck pond in the center.

  "I'm not one for absolute morality," she said, pacing along the flagstones beside her beloved. "Put simply, the only real injustice is that Michael Craig should have the estate."

  "True enough."

  "As a Liverpool merchant, he may not want the trouble of an Irish property. What if we were to offer him the value of it if he'll give up any claim in favor of Kieran? Legally speaking, right would not have been done, but in a purely moral sense..."

  Miles looked at Felicity. "Clever. But it can't be done without telling Craig everything."

  "I know. But he's sufficiently like Kathleen that I trust him. If I'm wrong, well..."

  "If you're wrong, he'll make the whole thing public."

  Felicity stared rather fixedly at the first yellow blooms on a forsythia poking through the railings around the central garden. "Which could well mean your uncle would forbid our marriage."

  "Kilgoran has no power to forbid me anything."

  She risked a look at him. "It will make it difficult, though."

  He grinned. "With you, I'm used to difficult."

  Felicity made a sound of annoyance. "I do wish you'd take this seriously!"

  "Why? It seems you can't kill, lie, or steal. It makes you a poor Rogue, but as your future husband, I approve. I hope Mr. Craig is willing to go along with your plan because it will be much more comfortable for you and Kieran. It makes little difference to me, however."

  "You mean that. You truly do." Felicity stared at him. "I want to kiss you."

  "I think that's why we're out here under the watchful guard of hundreds of windows."

  "But I'm a wild Irish wanton." Felicity went into his arms and kissed him anyway. After the first hesitation, he kissed her back, kissed her hungrily in a way that would surely be widening the eyes of anyone watching.

  "There," she said when they drew apart, flushed and laughing. "You've compromised me. There's no escape!"

  "Faith, and here I was hoping you were compromising me." He dug in his pocket and pulled out a ring-box. When he opened it, a heart-shaped ruby clasped in two hands was revealed. "It's the family betrothal ring. Presumptuous man that I am, I brought it with me from Ireland. You can't wear it yet, but I'd like you to have it."

  "From Ireland?" she echoed. "Even while you were gagging me in that coach..." She flicked him a glance. "You are an optimist, aren't you?"

  "Down to the core, and generally proved true. We're going to be wonderfully happy, a muirnin. So, will you take the ring?"

  She pulled off her glove and held out her left hand. "I'd like to wear it for a moment or two."

  He slid it onto her finger, then kissed it there. "I think we were destined. This moment feels powerfully right."

  She went into his arms. "How true. And when I think of Gardeen..."

  He hugged her close. "If we're entangled in Irish magic, let's at least hope it creates one of the happy stories."

  She pulled free and took a deep breath. "We'd better start with truth and honesty. Let's visit Michael Craig."

  It went off more easily than Felicity had expected. Mr. Craig was shocked, but put the blame squarely on Dunsmore. He agreed that Kathleen had wanted the child she thought of as her true son to inherit her estate. He also agreed that the estate was legally his.

  "I have to admit," he said stiffly, "that my financial affairs are rather more precarious than I gave you to understand. If it were just me... but I have a wife, a daughter not yet married, and two sons dependent on the business for their bread. I could not in all conscience deprive them of this windfall."

  "Nor do you need to do so, Mr. Craig," said Felicity. "The price of the estate is less than half my annual income from my grandfather's property, and the transaction will let me sleep at night. You will have your due, and Kieran will never have to know the truth about his birth."

  The man took her hand and patted it. "He'll never know through me, Miss Monahan. May I say that I admire your courage and honesty. And though Kieran is apparently no blood of mine, I'll always have a care for him for Kathleen's sake."

  Felicity kissed his cheek, making him redden. "We'll make sure he keeps in touch with you, Mr. Craig. Thank you."

  As Miles and Felicity walked out into February sunshine, she spun into a dance, startling a nursemaid. "I feel like spring! New, clean, full of hope. There's still Rupert, but I'll surrender to hope. Rupert will not bother us again."

  He caught her hands. "I'll make sure of it. Would you like to go home tomorrow?"

  She stared at him. "To Ireland?"

  "What other home do we have? There's nothing to keep us here, and I think perhaps you'd like to be with your son."

  Felicity flung herself into his arms.

  * * *

  They traveled in the coach again, with Hennigan and Gardeen as chaperones. The poor valet climbed in warily, as if entering a pit of snakes, but soon relaxed when he found there were to be no more brutalities. Gardeen seemed contentedly relaxed.

  The most dangerous times came each evening, as they sat in the private rooms of inns, alone since Hennigan was with the other servants and Gardeen generally went to sleep. But, safe in the knowledge that there were just a couple of weeks to go, they found the strength to wait.

  Their crossing was smooth, and after disembarking the coach, they had but a day's drive south to Kilgoran Castle.

  As they passed through the huge ornate gates, Felicity turned to Miles. "I do see what you mean about this place being safe." In her heart, however, she carried a fragment of doubt which would only disappear when she saw her son, safe and happy.

  "The wall around the estate is only ten feet high," Miles pointed out. "Hardly an insurmountable obstacle." He waved to the gatekeepers bowing as the coach went through. "This is all part of Kilgoran's notion of proper state."

  After some time driving along a smooth road between fields dotted with deer and cattle, Felicity asked, "Where's the house?"

  "Three miles away."

  "Lord above. You almost need a posting stage to get from house to gate!"

  "Thinking of backing out yet?"

  She put up her hand to feel the ring she wore on a chain around her neck. "Silly man. If you can accept me after all that's happened, a daunting estate will not prevent our happiness."

  He laughed but added, "Wait till you see the Castle."

  They passed through what seemed like endless countryside, but then a glint of water appeared between trees and soon developed into a lake.

  "Is this t
he boating lake?" It looked dangerous to her. Where was Kieran?

  "Lord, no. This is a widened stretch of river and deep enough to drown in. There's fine fishing, though. Look. The Castle's ahead."

  At the end of the lake on a rise stood a white Grecian temple. "That's a house?"

  "Hearth and home of the Earls of Kilgoran. Are you sure you don't want to back out?"

  Felicity could think of nothing to say. She could only see the front of the Castle, but it stood four stories high. Huge Grecian pillars ran up the whole height, eight of them, dividing rigid ranks of glittering windows. The whole thing was crowned by a pediment set with some kind of bas-relief.

  "I understand the design was based on the Parthenon, and that the pediment recreates some of the Elgin Marbles." Miles directed her attention away from this daunting sight and to the side. "That's the boating lake."

  It was quite small, with an island in the center containing a picturesque marble ruin. To one side was a miniature of the temple-house. "Oh, it's a boathouse! That is rather charming."

  "I always liked it. More to human scale."

  Then a punt skimmed from behind the island, poled by a sturdy young man. A child sat in the back trailing a net.

  "Kieran," Felicity breathed. She only half-heard Miles order the coach to stop, and was out before the steps had been let down to fly over the grass to the edge of the lake. "Kieran!" she called, waving.

  "Sissity!" He stood, and for a moment she was terrified he would topple out, even if the lake were truly shallow. But the young man said something, and Kieran immediately sat while the boat was poled over to the bank.

  She was picking up her skirts to wade to him when Miles held her back. "Wait here," he said, and she had the sense to obey him.

  He climbed down to the edge, his boots protecting him from the mud, and swung Kieran onto the grass. Then, she had her son in her arms.

  "I missed you, Sissity," the boy said, but soon squirmed free to say hello to Miles. "This is a funny place, sir. But fun, too." Then he giggled at his own wordplay.