Lottie Biggs is (Not) Desperate
Page 17
10 This is officially what is wrong with me. Doctor Edwards who works at the hospital said so. Sometimes I think it would be easier to tell people I had fleas. Or flatulence.
11 Which is quite odd really because Vogue Marché is neither fashionable nor actually a market.
12 It wasn’t my fault. He was talking about the periodic table.
13 It’s NOT a principality – it’s a PROPER country. Ask anyone who lives here.
14 The Gorgon Sisters were these weird Greek women who had snakes on their heads instead of hair and were so ugly that any man who looked at them turned instantly to stone. To be strictly fair, Samantha Morgan isn’t actually quite as bad as that.
15 Actually, I have borrowed these lines from Oscar Wilde. I am up to page nineteen of his book now. I have another hundred and sixty-nine pages to go.
16 This is totally and utterly a palindrome.
17 I can’t decide whether this is a sign of our total compatibility or of an absolute love disaster.
18 Well, a bit. Sometimes. When she’s asleep. Or in Aberystwyth.
19 This is a quick approximation of what my avant-garde portrait looked like. The original piece of artwork is probably in a landfill site by now.
20 Except for the bit about Gareth in his pants.
21 This is my FAVOURITE word ever. It means disturbing. Goose likes this word as well but only because she copied me.
22 On reflection, I now think I was wrong.
23 Beth sy’n cwcan yn dy bopty poeth gwyllt, cariad?
24 Except for Lee Fogel.
25 I had to write a story which began with the words: Billy was so pleased that he had opened a new bank account. It wasn’t easy to make anything interesting out of that beginning, but I think all the stuff about Billy being a brain-eating zombie gave my story added depth.
26 Probably.
27 This means ‘Not much!’ in Welsh. I’m not going to explain all over again what my question meant because I’ve already explained it in footnote 23.
Or
three weeks IN the GrIP
Of a wOmaNLY urGe
First published 2010 by Macmillan Children’s Books
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