Redemption Road (Roughneck #3)

by Nicole Hart

  I scooped up the vase and quickly walked out the back door to throw them in the dumpster outside before anyone noticed them. I looked around, waiting for Jake to come out at me. I had grown used to keeping that taser in my hand at all times when I was outdoors. But I was empty handed this time, and it made me nervous. But I didn’t see him, thank God. I walked back into the building as fast as I could.

  The rest of the day went by as smooth as possible. I met with the investors with the image of the horrible flowers in my head, mixed with the sick feeling of missing Kash. Today sucked, actually.

  I drove home, making sure to keep an eye on my surroundings. Even though I was completely sick of having to do it, it was necessary. But as I pulled into my driveway, he pulled in behind me. Kash. I wanted to leap out of my car and run to him. But I wouldn’t, I couldn’t seem desperate, even though that’s the way I felt. We both sat in our cars for a few minutes. Maybe we were both waiting for the other to make the first move. I finally gave in, and opened my car door. He didn’t move. He was staring straight down, so I walked over to his car. I knocked on the window and he looked up at me. He looked exhausted. Beautiful, but exhausted. He opened the door.

  “Kash? Are you ok?” I asked, genuinely worried. Where had he been all night? What was going on?

  “I’m fine,” he said with a cold tone to his voice, and he wouldn’t look me in the eye. Well, fine then. I started to walk away, but he grabbed me by the hem of my skirt and pulled me on top of him, straddling me between him and the steering wheel. He tried to cover up the smell of liquor with mint, but it was still there. I should resist him, my mind kept telling me. But my body wouldn’t listen, and I pushed myself against him. He rubbed his hands up and down my legs as he stared at me. Eye contact, finally. But there was something in his eyes. Hurt. Confusion. Maybe just exhaustion. I couldn’t put my finger on it. But I couldn’t handle whatever it was, so I pressed my lips to his and his mouth opened for me. I swept my tongue over his and he moaned just a little. That one gesture caused me to grind into him.

  “Fuck, Mackenzie,” he whispered as he grabbed the back of my hair, and started to kiss my neck. Our kisses quickly became intense, and he reached up my skirt and put his hand inside my panties. He started to rub my clit and I had to grind harder on his hand. I needed this. I needed him inside me. I kissed his neck and sucked his ear lobe as my breathing became heavier. He ripped the delicate lace off of me without me having to move. The feel of the material rubbing against me as he ripped it made me cry out. I couldn’t wait any longer - I grabbed the button of his jeans and jerked them undone. I unzipped them and then reached my hand inside; the need to feel his cock was almost unbearable. It was already hard, and I started to stroke it and ran my fingertips along the metal bar that I loved so much.

  “Get a condom,” I said quietly. Kash reached into his glove compartment and grabbed one out; they were sitting right on top. I tried my best not to dwell on that. I had to force it out of my mind. Kash slid the condom on and the pushed himself inside of me. The feel of him throbbing inside me caused every other thought to leave. He was my only focus. Riding him until I came was my motivation. I needed it right now. I needed that release that had been building for a week. Kash grabbed my ass and shoved me down, harder and faster. He kept his eyes closed. I tried not to feel too disconnected from him in this moment, I wanted to enjoy it. So I closed my eyes, too, and just enjoyed the way he felt. I put all the other thoughts that were trying to push their way through out of my mind. The friction on my clit as I rubbed against him caused my orgasm to come pretty quickly. Kash was right with me. We came together, loudly and intensely. It felt so good; I didn’t want it to end. But once it did, I felt the coldness fall between us. What was going on with him? I didn’t understand it. I rose up and looked into his eyes. He nodded towards the door as he opened it. He still had only said a couple of words to me. I climbed off of him, and waited for him to button his pants and get out of the car. He was conflicted; I could see it all over his face. That was the look. It wasn’t hurt, or exhaustion. He was confused, and it made me sick to my stomach.

  “What’s going on Kash?” I asked, needing to know the answer, but not really wanting to.

  He exhaled loudly as he stood right in front of me. I grabbed his hand and gave it a little squeeze before I let it go and crossed my arms, feeling defensive.

  “I’m not good for you, Mackenzie. I’m not what you need me to be. I can’t be that guy,” he said, as he bit the inside of his cheek. His nervous habit. It was his “tell” when his words tried to convince me differently. Why was he doing this?

  “But, I trusted you,” I said, as I stared down at the gravel.

  Kash grabbed my chin gently and forced me to look up at him.

  “Well, that was your first mistake then, wasn’t it?” he said, and then stared through me with those piercing blue eyes. They had the power to rip through my soul, which is exactly what his words just did.

  “One of many I’m assuming,” I said as I stared back at him, trying to pull some emotion out of him. My eyes begged the words I wasn’t willing to say.

  “Now you’re catching on, sweetie,” he said quietly, and then turned around and got back in his car.

  He didn’t even look in my direction as he started the engine and pulled away. I was shocked, and hurt, and confused. Maybe I was wrong about him.

  The wind picked up, causing a breeze up my skirt, making me realize my panties were still on the floor of the car that was barreling down that dirt road.

  Asshole.

  Well, I sure as hell wasn’t going to sit around here all night wallowing in my sorrows. Screw that. I grabbed my keys, and then realized that knowing my luck, Jake had just watched this whole episode somewhere. So before I headed to the porch, I threw both middle fingers in the air and spun them in all directions, just in case. I went in the house, tore off this damn skirt, and threw it across the room. I went into the kitchen, grabbed a big glass of wine, and then headed into my room. I put on my tightest jeans and high heeled boots. I put on a tight shirt that showed off my boobs and my new tattoo. I made the makeup darker and the hair bigger, and then headed out the door. I was about to hit a bar, alone, on a Thursday. It was a little pathetic, but I didn’t care. I needed out of this house, out of this town, away from my life for just a little bit.

  I pulled into the crowded parking lot of JR’s. I realized it was Thirsty Thursday, which meant drink specials for women, which meant lots of guys waiting for drunk women to give them a shot. I braced myself for my entrance, alone. Fuck it!

  I headed inside and went straight to the bar.

  “I need a shot of something, and a glass of white wine,” I told the bartender, who was actually really cute. I gave him a flirty smile, but felt nauseous about it. Ugh.

  “How about a Royal Fuck?” he asked.

  “What?” I said, completely shocked.

  “It’s a drink, honey,” he said with a laugh, as he poured my wine.

  “Oh, ok. Sure,” I said with a sigh of relief, and downed the sweet shot as he handed it to me.

  I took a seat at the bar and tried to relax. I didn’t want to be the pissed off girl at the bar giving everyone evil glares, because that’s the way I felt right now.

  “Rough day?” the bartender asked.

  “Rough life,” I said with a laugh.

  “Well, this one’s on the house, then,” he said, as he handed me another shot.

  “Thanks,” I said as I threw the shot back, and felt the heat slide down my throat and into my chest. It helped me relax a little. By my third glass of wine, I was really relaxed, and decided to hit the crowded dance floor, alone. Whatever.

  I felt the music and the alcohol flowing through my body as I started to sway. I felt a warm body against my back as I moved. I took a quick look behind me. It was a random guy with black hair. He was tall and cute, so I figured what the hell, it’s just a dance. He was grinding on my ass pretty intensely, so I sta
rted to scoot away a little, but every step forward I took, he was right up against me. Until he wasn’t. The alcohol had made me a little dizzy, and my reactions were slow. But the screams and shuffling around me made me turn around. The guy with the black hair was on the ground, with Kash on top of him, pounding his face.

  “Kash!” I screamed as I grabbed his arm, but it didn’t slow him down a bit. The poor guy under him didn’t stand a chance.

  “You better let the bouncers handle it.” A short guy with reddish hair grabbed my arm and pulled me back as two bouncers pulled Kash off the guy. There was blood on the dance floor, and the guy’s nose was gushing. Oh my God.

  Kash was escorted out of the bar and I was following right behind him.

  “What the hell was that?” I yelled at Kash, as the bouncers let him go and went back inside.

  “Go back inside, Mackenzie,” he said, with a blank stare.

  “No!” I yelled. I wouldn’t be told what to do, not anymore. I was also running on a little liquid courage.

  “Mackenzie, please,” he said quietly.

  “Fuck that, Kash. You pushed me away, remember? You don’t want me, remember? You don’t get to be jealous!” I yelled, with tears filling my eyes. Damn it! Do not cry!

  Kash grabbed me by the hand and led me to the side of the building. It was dark and quiet, and seemed a world away from everyone else.

  “Don’t you see how bad this is fucking with my head?” Kash said, with a look of hurt in his eyes.

  “No, I don’t know what you’re talking about,” I said honestly, trying not to yell.

  “I shouldn’t want you the way I want you,” he said, as he gently pushed me against the brick building.

  “I don’t…” I started to speak, but Kash put his finger over my lips.

  “I’ve always done things my own way, it’s easier and keeps me calling the shots. But then you came along” he said, as he rubbed the pad of his thumb across my lips.

  “Do you know what it does to me to fucking crave you?” he said, as he leaned in and breathed in the scent on my neck. I felt my eyes flutter closed as his hot breath touched my skin.

  “I think about you every fucking second of the day. I want to be inside you all the fucking time. I think about kissing those beautiful lips constantly. Because I want you, constantly,” he said, as he kissed me gently.

  “I know I should stay away from you, because you’re too good for me. You deserve better, but I can’t stay away anymore. I can’t handle you with someone else. It would make me crazy. And I know it makes me selfish, but I don’t give a fuck anymore, sweetie, I want you.”

  “Only me?” I whispered.

  “Only you,” he said, as he kissed me. “Always you,” he said, as his breathing became heavier and he rubbed against me, the bulge in jeans causing me to grab his ass and pull him closer.

  “I want you, Kash,” I whispered, as I unbuttoned his jeans. “Please,” I begged.

  I didn’t care that we were in public. I didn’t care that someone could walk around the corner. I just wanted him. Now.

  “I’ve told you before I could never fucking deny you,” he said, as he unzipped my jeans, and pulled them down enough to slam himself inside me. I let out a loud cry that he tried to muffle by putting his mouth over mine. He started to rub my clit with his fingers as he kept pumping inside me. We both climaxed in record time, and then clung to each other.

  “Are you sure you can handle me?” Kash asked, as he rubbed my cheek.

  “I know I can,” I said, with full confidence.

  “Then let’s go home,” he said, as he pulled my jeans back up and zipped them for me.

  “Let’s go,” I said, and then kissed his lips before I started to cry. I was such a damn baby sometimes.

  Chapter 18

  The next morning I woke up at 6 am, but I didn’t want to move. Kash was sleeping so peacefully, in my bed, and I didn’t want to wake him. The memories of last night kept running through my mind. Were we really going to give this a shot? The way he got jealous over me dancing with another guy probably should have made me mad, all things considered, but it didn’t. I wanted him to be protective of me, and I knew he wasn’t crazy. Well, not Jake crazy, anyway.

  He looked so beautiful as he slept. He was sprawled out on the bed; it was pretty obvious he was used to sleeping alone, which made me smile. That perfect mess of hair standing on end and his stubble that grew in just a few hours. So completely sexy. I wanted to touch him, but I didn’t want to wake him.

  “Do I smell coffee?” he mumbled, without moving or opening his eyes. Was he talking in his sleep?

  “No,” I giggled “Do you want some coffee?” I asked.

  “I’ll get it,” he whispered in the sexiest morning voice I know I’ve ever heard.

  “Nope, let me, I’m wide awake,” I said, as I hopped out of bed.

  “Don’t move,” I told him, as he started to raise up. His head hit the pillow again and he gave me a smile.

  A few minutes later, I walked back into my bedroom holding two cups of fresh brewed heaven. I handed Kash his cup and blew him a kiss.

  “I’ve never had someone make me coffee before,” he said with a wink.

  “Never?” I asked. But, realizing that he never stayed the night with women, as far as I knew, he had never really been in a relationship before. This worried me and got me excited at the same time.

  “Nope,” he said, as he took a sip. “Perfect,” he mumbled, and then patted the bed beside him.

  “How did you find me last night?” I asked him. It was a question that had been weighing on me. Surely, he didn’t follow me.

  “Pure fucking luck, sweetie,” he said, as he looked me in the eye.

  “Really?” I asked.

  “Yeah, I even called Sam to see where you might be. By the way, she tore into my ass for even asking, so get ready to hear her fucking mouth today,” he said with a smile.

  “Oh, goodness,” I laughed. Sam would have a fit when she realized what was going on.

  “She got worried that something happened to you because of dick munch, so I had to text her as soon as I found you.”

  “Oh.” I was so pissed about Kash last night, the possibility of Jake causing trouble hadn’t even crossed my mind once I left the house.

  “Speaking of,” he said, as he sat his coffee on the nightstand. “Has he given you anymore trouble?”

  I hated talking about Jake. I hated thinking about everything he did, but I had to be honest with Kash. He deserved to know, and I had a feeling my vague answers weren’t going to fly anymore.

  “Yeah,” I said quietly.

  “Mother fucker, he just isn’t gonna learn,” Kash said, as he rubbed his hands over his face. “What did he do now?” he asked, as he faced me.

  “Just still following me, but thank you for the taser, it really does help my peace of mind.”

  “What else?” he asked, as he put his hand on my thigh.

  “Hang up calls at work. He left black roses at the clinic with a nasty note.”

  “What did it say?” he asked, as he sat up a little.

  I didn’t want to say it out loud; it made me sick to my stomach.

  “Mackenzie?” Kash asked.

  I let out a loud exhale, but finally continued.

  “That I won’t get away with this.” I had to swallow the lump in my throat. “And ‘whores always pay for their sins,’” I said, and then rolled my eyes to keep the tears from falling.

  “I’m sorry,” Kash said as he kissed me gently, and grabbed me around the waist.

  “Don’t be sorry, Kash. It’s my shit to deal with,” I said.

  “First, I’m sorry for not being there for you when I should. And now, it’s both of our shit to deal with,” he said, as he kissed my forehead. “There’s no you and me anymore, it’s us,” he said.

  “Us?” I asked, as he rolled me onto my back and hovered over me.

  “Mmhmm,” he said, as he kissed my neck.<
br />
  “I like the sound of that,” I giggled, as the scruff on his face tickled my skin.

  “I never thought I’d fucking say it, but me too, sweetie,” he said, as he started to kiss my neck. “Me, too.”

  As soon as I got to work, Sam was waiting on me in the break room.

  “Are you gonna give me shit?” I asked Sam with a laugh, as I put my purse in my locker.

  “Well, I was,” Sam said with a smile. “But Moon talked me down.”

  “Tell him I said thanks,” I said.

  “Just be careful with Kash, ok. He doesn’t have the best history with women,” Sam said. I knew she was concerned.

  “I know, and I’ve been dealing with feelings for him for a long time now, Sam. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you.”

  “It’s probably good you didn’t, because I might have flipped my shit on him. But the way he sounded last night when he didn’t know where you were, really shocked me. I can tell he cares about you, which is not Kash. At all.”

  “I know; I’m still a little shocked that he wants to be with me,” I said honestly.

  “Are you shitting me? Girl, you are amazing! Don’t sell yourself short! He’s lucky to have your ass!” she said, as she smiled and headed out of the break room.

  “Thanks, Sam,” I said.

  “You’re welcome, bitch,” she mouthed from the doorway, and then walked out.

  I was getting ready to head out of the office, and I couldn’t shake the eerie feeling that I had. My stomach was in knots, and I couldn’t figure out why. Things were good. I hadn’t heard from Jake in a couple of days, but I couldn’t ignore it.

  Kash: Hurry that sweet ass home, I’m cooking you dinner

  As soon as I read his text, I couldn’t help but smile, and the dreaded feeling eased up a bit. Maybe I was just worried that I would grow attached to him and our relationship would go to shit, I don’t know. Whatever this feeling was, I didn’t like it.