Yell Out / Do You

by Stephanie Perry Moore

  But her feet were firmly planted, like she did not want to leave. I put my arms around her tight. I hoped she would feel my heartbeat against her, and we would have a connection again and that our bond would cause her to stay.

  “Oh, this is going to be so hard. I love you, Leo. All that I taught you, remember it. You’re a good boy. Be better than me,” she said. She quickly got into the car and shut the door.

  It was just me and Frankie standing there. Man to man our body language spoke volumes. We did not like each other. He had my mom though.

  “Don’t look so sad,” he joked.

  “You had better take care of my mama,” I threatened.

  He walked back to the driver’s side, looked back at me, and grinned, “Oh, I’ma take real good care of her.”

  He laughed. I was in a pickle. At least I did not have to worry about how I was going to pay the rent; I had no place to live. Of course this posed another problem. Where was I gonna stay?

  When practice was over, Coach Strong asked to see me in his office. I hid my army bag. I did not want anyone asking me any questions.

  “What’s wrong, Steele? Is everything all right with you and your mom? She’s never come up here and interrupted practice before. Talk to me.”

  I was looking all around his office, too prideful to look him in the eye because I did not want him to see what I was going through. What I was about to say was an absolute lie.

  “Everything’s fine,” I whispered.

  “Good, good. Sit on down and let me talk to you. I love my couch,” Coach said out of the blue. Then he got real comfortable.

  When I sat down on it, I agreed. It was plush. He had a blanket on the other end. His office had a refrigerator with some snacks. There was a shower here. He had a TV in his office. Luckily, Coach didn’t know why it mattered that I thought it was so comfortable, but I realized at least until I figured out my situation, I was going to have to squat at the school.

  “All right, well, if you are all right, get on out so I can lock up.”

  “Uh, Coach, do you mind if I watch a little bit more film? My mom will be back to get me. I know how to lock up.”

  Coach looked at me like he was trying to size up my character and nodded. “Yeah. That’s cool.”

  I knew he was not supposed to leave me there. While I hated lying, I had to do what I had to do. Fall was in full throttle in the ATL. Though it was warm in the day, it would dip to the forties and fifties at night. A brother could not just be on the streets.

  An hour later, I settled really good into my new temporary home. I found a place for my clothes in a locker no one used. I just needed to get into the shower and unwind.

  While under the hot water, the reality that I was now homeless and practically an orphan got to the core of my soul. I pounded on the shower wall over and over and over until I heard a loud clanging noise. I had no clothes on, and I could not let anybody find me out. I peered over the shower stall and saw someone in a cheerleading outfit fleeing. I could only hope they did not see me, and if they did, that they wouldn’t tell. What was I going to do? How was I going to go on? Where would I find relief? Too many questions, no answers.

  I had no problem waking up on Monday morning. I was so paranoid someone would come and find me staying in the school that I practically slept with one eye open. Thankfully, Sunday was really peaceful; nobody came around the school. I made sure that I did not do anything to set off any alarms. I might have lied to Coach Strong about my mom coming to pick me up, but I did not tell him a fib about watching film.

  Our coaching staff had scouted the next three teams we were about to play. I had done my part checking them out. When I looked back over our film for the past couple of weeks, I did see some plays that I missed. While I was not listening to every critique Coach Strong had for me during our film session, I could see where I needed work.

  A lot of my teammates watched film all the time. I had taken for granted that I knew my position. I could clearly see just by watching myself and going back over the footage that I was getting better.

  Maybe if I applied myself to my books, I could get better at that as well. Since Landon’s dad was the preacher, Landon would often pick me up to go to church with him. He had called four times on Sunday. I did not want him to know where I was or what I was doing. My only problem was that I was hungry. Coach Strong had snacks all around because he was not the smallest man. My problem would be how I could replace those snacks before he realized someone had dipped their hand in his cookie jar and took some.

  When you got to school, you could wait in the commons area to study, talk, dance, or anything sensible until it was time for the bell to ring. Then students could meander the hallways. I was always the last one there. My mom worked a late shift, and when she got in, she’d bring me to school. When I rode the bus, I was there on time but never early. My teammates saw me sitting in the commons area and were surprised.

  Landon came over to me and said, “You’re here early. What’s up? You can’t return anybody’s phone calls? You drop your phone in the toilet or something?”

  “I wasn’t feeling well yesterday. Can a brother get a break? Dang. I need to find you a girl and quick, because you bugging me like I’m your woman. Slow your roll, partner.”

  “Oh, it’s like that?” Landon said.

  I knew that I had embarrassed him a little. I did not mean to make him feel bad, but I needed him to back off. The best way to shut Landon up was to tease him a little bit. He backed off every time. He could dish it out, but he could not take it.

  Blake came over and said, “Look, this thing with Shameek is heating up. Word has it he’s planning to finish what he started a couple of weeks ago.”

  “He ain’t gonna bring no gun to school,” I said. “Plus, I got you. He talks all that junk, but the police are just waiting for him to slip up so they can throw him in jail.”

  “Yeah, but I don’t want to be a corpse and that be the reason why they go after Shameek. You know what I’m saying?” Blake lamented.

  I always knew he was a little scaredy-cat. Coach Strong was tough, but his son was more of a pretty boy. He was cool people though. He was not selfish. It was not his fault that he was born with a silver spoon in his mouth. They call me The Man on defense, but as the quarterback, he was the true man on our team.

  Shameek Elliot and I grew up together in the same hood. Our mamas used to be girls. Some kind of way, the Axes got control of him and had him swinging dope in school. He started selling back in middle school. He turned crazy. He tried to recruit me, but when my mom went to him saying she had already lost a husband and she did not want to lose her son, Shameek backed off.

  I knew he and I would not have any problems. I just kept looking the other way. If dummies wanted to pay him for crack, then they were wack and deserved what they got.

  However, when Shameek busted up a girl’s face, and Blake had a lil’ somethin’ somethin’ going on with that girl, he had a showdown with Shameek. I would not have said nothing if they went at it fist to fist and man to man. But Shameek did not want to play fair, and he pulled out steel on Blake. Like my last name, I pulled one back out on him. While I told Blake no worries, I had not been able to walk the streets without watching my back ever since.

  Maybe it was not a bad thing that I could not live in my apartment anymore. I needed to keep a low profile for a number of reasons. Blake needed to do the same, but as the quarterback of our team, he was always in the spotlight so that was hard to do.

  “There they go,” Blake said. “Look, look at his hands. He’s packing.” Blake eyed Shameek suspiciously.

  That was not the case. He was just scared. Shameek was not alone. He had about five deep with him. He was headed our direction.

  “Blake, go on to class,” I turned around and said. Then I turned to Landon and Brenton. “Y’all, take him away.”

  Shameek stepped to me and said, “What? You gonna have Blake Weak walk away from me?”
<
br />   “It’s Blake Strong.”

  “He ain’t acting like it. But that’s fine. I’ll give you his butt whupping,” Shameek said, stepping even closer.

  I pushed him back. “Man, get off me.”

  “You wanted a fair fight. No iron, right?”

  I said, “I don’t want no fight at all.”

  “Oh, you gonna have something. You stepped in my way. Either you can step out of it or I’m going to have to permanently remove you. You ain’t nothing but a punk anyway,” he ranted and spit in my face.

  It was on at that moment. What did I have to lose? I took my right hand and socked him.

  “Wait a minute, school hasn’t even started!” our principal, Dr. Sapp, yelled out. “What is going on here? You know what? I’m not having it.”

  Shameek threw his hands up. “Dr. Sapp, you saw it. I ain’t have nothing to do with it.”

  Dr. Sapp said, “I see a whole bunch of brothers wearing light blue bandanas that they are not supposed to have in my school. That’s what I see.”

  “Oh, so he gets off scot-free?” Shameek lobbied.

  “Take the bandanas off and go on to class,” Dr. Sapp said to Shameek and his thugs.

  “You better be glad the principal is with you,” Shameek taunted.

  “Whatever, I’m here any time,” I said. Dr. Sapp tugged my shirt and walked me to his office.

  “Have you absolutely lost your mind? Are you crazy?”

  “What, Dr. Sapp? What? They are in a gang and you do nothing.”

  “Don’t try me, Leo.”

  “I’m just saying if you know they are in a gang, why do you let them stay in your school?”

  “I got to catch them doing something and not catch other people doing something to them,” he growled. “Now I got to punish you. You are supposed to be concentrating on x’s and o’s. You got a good thing going, man. Your grades came across my desk, and they already need work, and now you will have discipline problems. I know your mama is working hard to raise you the right way. Now I have to call her about this, and it ain’t gonna be nice giving you suspension.”

  I realized he could not send me home. There was no home for me to go to. I had to get my free breakfast and lunch at the school.

  “Come on, sir. I’m sorry, Dr. Sapp. I’m sorry, for real. We can make it to state.”

  “I have to keep my eye on you, Steele. I tell you what, I’m working in-school suspension this week; head on down there. Maybe if you’re in there, you can concentrate more. There’s one kid already in there.”

  And that kid would not stop talking. Thankfully, the day flew by because he ran his mouth so much. Then ISS got interesting when one of the cheerleaders, Ella Blount, walked in. She was a twin, and the way she looked at me, it was as if she knew I was staying at the school. Was she the one who saw me in the shower? If so, it was just my doggone luck. As my dad used to say, if it weren’t for bad luck, I’d have no luck at all. However, since adversity builds character, I would have to keep pressing and move on.

  CHAPTER 2

  Truly Saved

  Leo, where do you live?” Ella asked me in ISS when we had our lunch break.

  I could not stop staring at the hamburger on her plate. I gobbled mine up so fast. It was hard not having any dinner to eat.

  “Did you hear me? Hello!” she repeated.

  Ella was a really cute girl. Beautiful teeth, precious smile, curves that went on for days, and unlike her sister, Eva, I probably didn’t notice her because Ella never flaunted what she had. However, being locked in a small room with her, I could not help but notice she was extremely attractive.

  When she kept asking me nosy questions, I got irritated. “Aren’t we supposed to be concentrating on our work?”

  “It’s lunch time, dude,” the other person in ISS said to me.

  It was this guy named Carlen. He was in the eleventh grade also, but he did not roll in the circles Ella and I shared. He was interesting, to say the least. He was flaming and proud of it. He did not make me uncomfortable, but I did not like a know-it-all.

  “I’m sorry. I didn’t know asking you where you lived was a touchy subject,” Ella replied.

  “You know where I live,” I responded. She had been to parties around my way.

  We’d known of each other since middle school. We hung out with the same folks. I knew Ella kept looking at me, studying me, reading me, and questioning me because she was definitely the one who saw me Saturday in the locker room. As I thought back to more than what was going on in my own world, I remembered when I was in the parking lot talking to my mom that the cheerleaders were assembling for some trip.

  Two of my defensive teammates, Amir and Brenton, were dating two of the cheerleaders. Watching film, they had been talking about going to see them perform at a competition, so it made sense.

  It was Ella. Knowing Eva like I did, because I had more classes with Eva over the years, she would have just come out and asked me. Ella was not shy, but she was not rude or brash either. She was trying to beat around the bush to get out the information she wanted. Obviously she cared, because she kept looking and seemed to want to make sure I was okay. I could not risk confirming her suspicions until I found somewhere else to go.

  Broaching the subject gingerly, Ella said, “I don’t really feel good. I’m not going to eat all this. Don’t want to waste it. Either of you guys want it?”

  Carlen’s little skinny self said, “Nah, I’m watching my figure. You ought to understand that, girlfriend.”

  “How ’bout you, Leo?” Ella offered.

  When I saw her cut her burger in half and not eat her fries, I let my pride go. I guess I was salivating. I was hungry, but I could not appear too pitiful.

  “If you are not gonna eat it.”

  “Boy, you better take that food. And quit looking at her like you wanna gobble her up with the plate. I’m just as fine,” Carlen teasingly sulked.

  I did not even want to play with him. Carlen was a cool guy. Word was out he helped a few people dress for the prom last year. However, I did not swing that way, and I had enough friends. I did not want to send wrong messages. After lunch I went back over to my little corner and stared at my work.

  The next day was more of the same. The three of us in ISS were buried under piles of paper. Dr. Sapp sat at the front desk and lectured.

  Our principal said, “You know when students make dumb choices, they land themselves in here. I hope they get it and understand fighting, stealing, and cheating will lead them down the wrong path that they may never recover from. I’ve always told you guys, I used to cut up in school. So I understand you may want to make a little extra money, so you steal. Or you don’t want your manhood threatened, so you fight. Or you don’t want to let down friends, so you cheat. Stealing, fighting and cheating are stupid. Matter of fact, I want you all to write me a paper about why what you did was dumb. Persuade me that you’ll never do it again.”

  “But, Dr. Sapp! C’mon, man, you see all these papers and work we gotta do. Cut us a break, sir,” Carlen lobbied.

  Dr. Sapp said, “Don’t try to change my mind. I need you all to learn that what you did was wrong. I’m going out to the hallway. Get to it.”

  I could not believe Ella had cheated. I had heard about her sister, Eva, selling the answers to the US History test for five dollars. Knowing that I needed to pull up my grade in that class, I probably would have paid. I thought Eva was getting the answers from the teacher’s desk, not from her sister. Even if that was the case, Ella was not the mastermind behind it all. Why was she the one who ended up in here? However, of all people, I understood that family was a trip.

  When Carlen went to the restroom and it was just Ella and me in ISS, I said, “You should not let anybody use you.”

  “You shouldn’t let anybody provoke you to fight,” she snapped back.

  “Yeah, but I hit somebody who deserved it. If people don’t study, they don’t deserve to get the answers. Or were you getting s
ome of the money from the sale?” I asked. Ella looked at me and gritted her teeth.

  I could tell her answer was no. She probably had no idea what her sister was even doing. That was crazy to me.

  “I’m not trying to get in your business,” I said, making sure I didn’t give her a door to walk into my world. “I’m just saying once things happen, you can really see who has your back and who doesn’t. You can’t pick your family, but you surely can pick whether you let them use you or not. And you just shouldn’t let anybody walk over you; that’s all.”

  I did not mean to make her tear up, but obviously what I was saying cut close to her heart. I could not have imagined what it was like having a twin, but if I had one, they would be the last person I would think who would sell me out.

  For some reason I had a mental block when it came to doing my work. I did not know if it was that I could not understand the material in the first place or if a couple of days with no dinner was taking its toll on me. Either way, when Dr. Sapp came in and demanded our work, I looked stupid not having it. I did not want more days extended to my stay in ISS. I certainly did not want him to suspend me. I could have kicked myself for not maximizing my time. He was a calm guy; it took a lot to ruffle him, but everyone had their limits. I did not know if he would go for days spent in ISS without any work being done.

  After Ella and Carlen turned in their assignments, he looked at me. I stared back. He glared harder, like I needed to produce something or I would not like the consequences.

  “What’s going on, Steele? You want to play the rest of the season? I need to see some work. What’s up?”

  “We did ours together,” Ella cut in.

  Dr. Sapp looked at her in a strange way. Ella wasn’t backing down. I knew I did not work with her. She knew I did not work with her, but there she was, helping me anyway. I was shocked she would save me like that.

  “We have the same classes,” Ella said with a matter-of-fact tone. “I know why it’s such a surprise. You weren’t in here a lot, so you didn’t see us working together. You told us to get it done. You didn’t say we couldn’t work together. Since there were things both of us helped each other with, we just did it together. So there you go.”