The Right Wish

by Mankin, Michelle

  “If you hear something—”

  “I’ll call you. You do the same.”

  “Got it. ’Bye, Brad.”

  I swiped my thumb, went to my email, and saw a message with an attachment from the desk of Finn O’Brien. I opened it, expecting something from his PR rep, but it was from Cam.

  Dear Brad,

  You were amazing tonight. So incredible. I was so proud to be there with you. You made me feel like a princess. You nearly always made me feel valued and appreciated. That means a lot to someone like me.

  I’m sorry that my past ruined what was otherwise a flawless evening. But it was a reminder I needed. I realize now that who I am is who I always will be. No pretty dress, and no pretty words in a story can remake somebody like me.

  It was selfish of me to have stayed with you for as long as I did. You are under no further obligation to look after me. I’m with my dad. I promised to tell you where I was. So, this is me doing that.

  He says he’s sorry for the things that went wrong between us. I’m not sure, but tomorrow—well, today—is the anniversary of my mom’s death. I’m missing her today more than ever, and so is he. I’m going to make him her favorite meal. We’re going to visit her final resting place, and talk some more about her and us, and then we’ll see what happens.

  But I’ll never forget you and the time we spent together. I know I’ll see your album for sale somewhere soon. Do say yes to Mary. I saw her and Charles race backstage, vying to be the one to sign you.

  I attached the video I took of your performance. Use it for leverage. Music is the place where you belong. Onstage is where you shine like a star and sound like a dream.

  I’m so happy your dream has come true. I’ll always be cheering for you.

  Love,

  Cam

  Chapter 60

  * * *

  Camaro

  Before I woke fully, I reached for Brad. Remembering in a rush what had happened and where I was, I felt my heart pound hard, and my eyes popped open with a fresh batch of tears. The sun was already up, streaming in through the windows of my old room.

  It shouldn’t, but somehow the sun continues to rise, even when your heart is broken. A familiar realization for me.

  One day at a time, I told myself. Go through the motions.

  Knowing the drill, I blinked my eyes clear, sat up, and glanced around. I’d been so tired after the gala and seeing my dad, stopping at Brad’s before going to the airport, and then the long flight on the company jet, I’d dozed off inside the limo on the way to the estate.

  Inside my bedroom, the same books overflowed the bookshelves, and the same band posters were tacked to the wall. Tempest, the Dirt Dogs, and Brutal Strength with Avery Jones on guitar. She modeled some like me. I planned to continue that. It would pay for creative writing classes.

  I threw back the covers, surprised they were the same multihued blue ones I remembered from all those years ago. In fact, it didn’t seem as if anything had changed in my room.

  Except me.

  I wasn’t the same at all.

  Strange. I cocked my head, realizing that the biggest changes inside me weren’t caused by the bad but the good. Jewel’s friendship and Brad’s care. My love for him, even one-sided, was a powerful force for change.

  I started to put my feet on the floor when I noticed my cell flashing. I’d put it on silent mode after sending Brad an email and Jewel a text before I went to sleep. Lifting it from the nightstand, I glanced at the display.

  Twelve text notifications. Nope, thirteen. They ticked up as I watched. Missed calls. Then suddenly, one that read Jewel calling . . .

  I took this one.

  “Cam. What the hell is going on?”

  “I told you.”

  “You texted me!” The line went silent. “I’m your best friend. That’s not cool.”

  “I was tired. Being with my dad is emotional.”

  “We’ll get to that part in a minute. First and foremost, I want to know. Do you love him?”

  “My dad?” I asked.

  “No, I know you love him. If you didn’t, your estrangement wouldn’t bother you so much. And now I know why you memorized car specs like you always did, just on the off chance that you might see him again one day. If you weren’t with him, you would have come to me to regroup. Also, I know what today is and how it affects you.”

  “Yes.” I swallowed hard. “It’s always difficult saying good-bye again.”

  “And what about Brad?”

  “I love him.”

  “Then you should have stayed.” Jewel sounded pragmatic, just like Brad.

  “He doesn’t love me. I’m just an obligation, an embarrassing one. At the gala—”

  She sighed. “I know what happened. Word about it got out. I’m glad Brad punched him. I really don’t know what you ever saw in that prick.”

  “Brad hit him?”

  “Oh yeah. One punch. Everyone’s talking about it. He went down like a felled tree.”

  “Good.” My lips twitched.

  “I think you’re wrong about Brad. I think he cares very much about you.”

  “I’m a friend. He looks after his friends.”

  “You’re more than that. Before we left on tour, I called him out on it. I mean, Cam, c’mon. If you were merely a friend to him, would he have rearranged his entire life to send his sister out here with us?”

  “Most guys wouldn’t, but he would.”

  “If he had only a friendly interest in you, he would be out here with us, and Sierra would have stayed at his place with you.”

  I’d never thought about it that way.

  “Next point.” Jewel sounded testy. “Would a friend use his own lawyer to make sure Pete’s kids went somewhere safe?”

  “He did that?” I knew they were with their aunt. Pete had told me. I reached up and fingered my bruise.

  “Yeah, because Brad managed the situation. You know how he does.”

  Yes, I certainly did.

  “You advised me once to stick by my man, Cam. This is me as your best friend telling you to do the same.”

  “But what if—”

  “If he doesn’t love you yet, which I’m not saying if he does or he doesn’t. That’s between you and him to work out. But you need to be together for that to happen. I will say you threw a wrench in the whole thing, even before you ran. He needs you.”

  “How so?”

  “You know how so. I wouldn’t have believed it if I hadn’t seen it with my own eyes. Are you Chicago zero six zero seven?”

  “Maybe.”

  “Thought so. There are seven million hits on the YouTube video you uploaded of Bradley Marshall with Aces High. He’s got offers coming in from almost every label.”

  “He should have offers coming in from all of them.”

  “Not arguing against that point. Who knew the uptight businessman had it in him?”

  I knew.

  “He’s talking to Rush and Sierra about what to do. He seems to think he can keep most of his clients and do both. But he’s mostly talking about you. Call him, Cam. I know today’s hard. That you’re processing. But after that, work things out. You love him. I think you need him, and he certainly needs you.”

  My phone beeped with an incoming call. I put Jewel on speaker mode and saw who it was.

  “Brad’s on the other line,” I said, my heart seizing as if it were squeezed in a fist too tight to beat, just from saying his name.

  “Take his call. Call me later. I’m here for you. Always.”

  “Same, Jewel. Thank you.”

  She clicked off, and Brad’s voice blasted out the cell speaker.

  “Cam! Is that you?” he shouted, so loudly I pulled the phone back from my ear.

  “Yes. It’s me,” I said softly. “Just woke up. I was on the other line with Jewel.” Nervous, I babbled. “It’s the anniversary today.”

  “I know, babe.” His voice went low and soft. “I’m sorry.”

&nbs
p; Nodding as if he could see me, I stood with my phone and went to the window to look out. In her garden, my dad knelt in front of her marker. My eyes filled. “My dad’s out there at the graveside with her now.”

  “He loved her very much. You love her.”

  “Yes, but he loved her more.” Loving Brad like I did, I knew now that my dad loved her more than anything. How was it possible to go on when the other half of your heart no longer existed?

  “You should go to him. It’s what your mother would want you to do.”

  “Yes.” My grip tightened around my cell.

  “It’s what you want to do.”

  “I will.” I nodded, appreciating his straightforward, honest, wise advice, the only kind he dispensed. “I just wanted to say I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have left the way I did. I just—”

  “We’ll talk more soon,” he said abruptly. “I have to go.”

  “Okay.”

  Hearing static before the line went dead, I rubbed the left side of my chest where the wedge I’d put between Brad and me burned. I loved him.

  Jewel was right. I should have stayed.

  I’d messed up, but I could be supportive for him from now on, in whatever capacity he would allow. But at the moment, I heeded Brad’s advice.

  My dad was hurting. I could help him, or at least try. Not easy, but that was being the best me.

  I went to the closet, drew on some jeans that were a little snug, and pulled over my head a long-sleeved Columbia shirt, from a college I’d been accepted to but never attended. On the way out the door, I snagged an O’Brien Auto Parts hoodie from the back of my desk chair. As I traversed the long hall, I put it on, thinking about his unrealized dream. With me out of his life and his marriage over, his business was all my father had.

  I moved a little faster on the stairs. In the grand foyer, I practically sprinted across the marble. My father did need me, and I knew in that moment that I needed him more than a little too. He was the only person in the world who knew my mother and loved her as much as I did.

  I slowed when I reached him. His sobs cut through me like a knife. He didn’t speak to acknowledge my arrival, but I knew he sensed I was there because he stretched out his arm to me. I dropped to my knees beside him on the well-tended earth and took his hand.

  “I used to come out here every day,” he said, his voice rough as if torn from the rubble inside him. “But it got to be too much. With her buried here, I couldn’t function. I didn’t want to function. I barely do as it is now.”

  “I know, Daddy.” I’d watched him disappear right before my eyes. I squeezed his fingers, noting the ever-present stain of oil under his nails, and how much larger his hand was than mine.

  He squeezed my hand back. “I realize now you acted out to get my attention.”

  “Yes, I realize that too. I’ve been going to counseling.”

  “Me too. For the divorce. But the counselor has me talk about other things. Your mom. You. Nothing’s been right since she left. Since you left.”

  I scooted a little closer. “I’m here now, Daddy.”

  “Yes.” He shifted to face me, his gray eyes swimming in tears. “I wanted to give you this.”

  He pulled his other hand out of his pocket and extended it to me. On his palm lay the delicate gold-and-emerald necklace he’d given my mother. The one she’d always worn.

  My eyes filled too, and the necklace wavered in my watery vision.

  “I can’t.” I shook my head.

  “Please. Chiara wanted you to have it on your eighteenth birthday. She said, ‘Finn, my love . . .’”

  His voice broke and tears slipped one after another down his craggy, but still handsome face. I released his empty hand and curled my fingers around the one with the necklace in it instead.

  “She said, ‘Make certain she knows if I could have stayed, I would have.’” He tilted his head as if hearing her voice even now, ineffectually swiping at tears that kept coming.

  “She loved you so much, Daddy.”

  “Your mother fought so hard to make every day as sweet as she could for you.”

  “She did. She always did.” My fingers closed around his.

  “She loved us both. But she knew it killed me to see her suffer. You’re the reason she stayed longer than anyone thought she could. She stayed brave and strong to the very end for you. You were her inspiration and her greatest hope.”

  Chapter 61

  * * *

  Camaro

  Later that afternoon, I wrapped an old fleece-lined sweater of my mom’s tighter around myself and went back outside to join my father. I’d made my mother’s Bolognese for him for lunch, and then he’d come back outside while I went upstairs to shower.

  I took a seat on the bench beside my mother’s marker and tipped my face up to the sun.

  “This was her favorite place,” my dad whispered from next to me.

  “Mine too,” I said with my eyes still closed. They burned with the pressure of new tears. “I used to sit next to her and tell her stories while she tended her roses.”

  “I used to open up the bay in the garage and watch you. Most beautiful sight in the world.”

  “She was.”

  “You two together were. I lost sight of that, sweetheart. In my grief over her, I lost you both. I lost the two I loved most in the world. I hope someday you can forgive me.”

  “I forgive you now, Daddy.”

  Opening my eyes, I turned to him to see tears streaming from his eyes again like mine. I reached over and blotted them from his ruddy cheeks, using the cuffs of her sweater. She wasn’t here, but it was almost like she was with both of us together remembering her.

  He turned his head to look at me. “Thank you, Camaro.” His reddish-brown brows drew together beneath the backward brim of his O’Brien ball cap. “I’ll try to be worthy of that great gift.”

  “It’s me, Daddy. I told you the things I’ve done. It’s not a great gift to be given forgiveness from someone like me.”

  “It’s the greatest gift of all, next to your love, Cam.” He took my hand and cradled it in his palm like my mother used to hold her budded roses up to the sun in order to better appreciate their beauty. “You did what you had to in order to survive. Only someone who is very small inside would judge you for it. You’re the fairest one. Brave, kind, and true. The very best of your mother lives on inside you.”

  “I agree,” said a low, soft voice that I loved best in the world.

  “Brad!” I leaped to my feet and whirled around, drinking in the vision he was in a form-fitting black sweater and jeans. Oddly enough, he was carrying a guitar case.

  “Cam.” Removing his aviator shades to rest them on top of his head, he acknowledged me with a somber nod. His golden hair slid forward into his blue eyes as he also nodded to my father, who stood to join me. “Sir.”

  “Call me Finn.”

  “Thank you for taking my call so early this morning.”

  “I wasn’t expecting you to show up so soon.”

  “First flight I could get. Where she is, I belong.”

  My dad glanced at me, then back to Brad. “I can see where that would be the case. I hope you realize that from now on, it will be the same for me.”

  “That’s up to her. Is that what you wish for, my lady?”

  “Yes.” I nodded. “But—”

  “I need to speak with Cam alone. Clear up some misconceptions.”

  My father nodded. “Absolutely. I’ll be in the house. Trying to resist a second helping of her Bolognese. Would you come join me later? I heard in the news that the man who insulted my daughter at the gala is giving you some trouble.”

  “Nothing I can’t handle.”

  “I believe it. But I would help if I could.”

  “Thank you.”

  My dad’s eyes flashed. “I’d relish the chance to unleash my lawyers on him. They’ll squash him like a bug. He deserves it.” He clapped Brad on the shoulder as he passed him, heading back f
or the house.

  Brad watched him leave, then turned to me. “I’m at an impasse.”

  My gaze remained on him. I’d been drinking in the sight of him from the moment he appeared. It had been that way from the beginning. If he was around, that’s where my eyes inevitably went. I knew now it would always be that way.

  Brad gave me a wry look. “I can’t decide whether to crush you to me or to chew you out for leaving me.”

  “Go with the first one.”

  “Come here, and I will.” He set the guitar case he held on the bench.

  “I’ve never seen that case before.” I took a step closer. “Is it new?”

  “No, it came from my collection in the room with the closed door. An entire part of my life that was closed off is open now, because of you.”

  He stretched his arms wide. I gave up on pretending to be sedate and launched myself at him.

  “Can’t breathe.” I wheezed as his strong arms banded warmth and security around me.

  “Now you know how I’ve felt since you disappeared.”

  “It was time for me to go,” I whispered into his chest.

  He eased back slightly, got a finger under my chin to pry it away from him, and lifted it. Peering down at me, his eyes were burning cobalt torches. “There’s never a time for you to go away from me. I have you now, and you must never, ever leave.”

  “But—”

  “You don’t see yourself rightly.”

  “And rightly is how?”

  “You shine brighter than the sun above. Brighter than the stars in the heavens.”

  I shook my head.

  “You do. Clouds can block the sun and diminish the brightness of the stars, but the kindness inside your precious heart will never dim.”

  “Brad, I—”

  “Even a day like today,” he said quickly, his expression stern. “You eased your father’s sadness just by being you. Your mother is surely smiling down at you.”

  “I love you,” I said softly.

  “And I you.” He reached for and secured a lock of my hair, tucking it behind my ear. “I have a ring in my pocket that I planned to give you before you ran away from me, and the truth is right in front of you.”