Pengantar Psikologi Klinis

by Suprapti Sumarmo Markam

  “…can I join in?” I asked hesitantly.

  She laughed. “You dummy – you were always invited to join in.”

  “I know, I know.”

  Robert the Warlock would have murdered me, I’m sure, for screwing up my near-perfect situation a couple of weeks ago. But it had all turned out alright, so no more need to worry about it.

  There were, however, other things to worry about – like other people murdering me.

  “The only problem is, I’m up to my eyeballs in debt to Varkus, that goblin who brought you here tonight. By the way, how’d you know he could find me?”

  “Krug told me about the seal on your hand.”

  Of course – Krug had been there when I signed the contract.

  “If I don’t pay him back, then he’ll send assassins after me.”

  “How have you been paying him off so far?”

  “By grinding the dungeon outside Exardus.”

  “How long will it take you to pay him off doing that?”

  I groaned. “That’s the problem. I can’t pay him off doing just that. The interest rate is too high.”

  “Then you’re better off leaving, aren’t you? Surely we can make more money someplace else.”

  That was true… there were definitely more lucrative dungeons than the Tomb of Tharos…

  “And once we make enough money,” Alaria continued, “you can pay him back after that.”

  I really WOULD be like Han Solo, then… on the run from Jabba with a price on my head…

  The idea of being like the coolest smuggler ever made the idea a little more appealing.

  Although I didn’t really want to wind up frozen in carbonite. Or whatever the equivalent was here in OtherWorld.

  But there was something else, too.

  “I also need to find Dorp,” I said.

  Alaria frowned. “The blue annoying one?”

  “Yeah.”

  “What happened?”

  “During one of my drunken benders, I, uh… I was sort of an asshole to him and he left.”

  She cocked an eyebrow. “He was kind of asking for it, being so annoying all the time.”

  “I still need to find him.”

  “Why?”

  “So I can apologize.”

  She groaned and rolled her eyes. “I forgot what a goody-goody you are. Did you look for him around Exardus?”

  “Everywhere.”

  “Then he probably doesn’t want to be found.”

  “I know, but…”

  “Can’t you just summon him back from Limbo once he dies?”

  “Yeah, but he hasn’t died yet.”

  She sighed. “Alright, fine – we’ll look for Dorp, too. Anything else you want to add to your list? Want to topple an empire or become a god in your spare time, too?”

  “No,” I said with a sheepish grin.

  “Good,” Alaria purred in my ear. “We can leave tonight. Right now, in fact. Or… in a half-hour or so…”

  Then she snuggled up next to me.

  Completely butt nekkid, I might add.

  I felt her bare breast press against my arm, felt her soft lips caress my ear.

  My dick was rock-hard within seconds.

  I reached for Alaria’s breasts and turned my head to kiss her. I was excited not only by being able to touch her again after so long, but by the kinky thrill that we were out in the open where we might get caught –

  …dammit.

  Speaking of someone who likes kinky shit…

  I pulled away and winced. “There’s something I need to do first.”

  Alaria frowned, puzzled. “What?”

  “I need to go break the news to Meera.”

  Alaria stiffened. “The angel?!”

  “Yeah.”

  She glared at me angrily. “Why the hell do you need to see her again? I thought she was just something to help you forget me.”

  “She was, but that doesn’t mean I should treat her like a used tissue and just throw her away.”

  Alaria looked at me suspiciously. “Why not? Why should you be nice to her at all?”

  I thought about earlier in the evening.

  Of the panicked girl surrounded by popcorn flying through the air.

  I remembered her breaking into tears and sniffling, It was supposed to be a surprise.

  I remembered her crying on my chest.

  That was the girl I wanted to say goodbye to. The one who had been kind, and sweet, and giving.

  I wasn’t in love with Meera, but I cared about her.

  More than I’d realized, apparently.

  “Because she’s a person,” I said lamely.

  “She’s an angel,” Alaria spat.

  “So?!”

  “So she hates me – she hates all demons! She’s a bigot and an asshole. So why the hell are you going out of your way to be nice to her?!”

  “Because she helped me when I needed it.”

  “And?!”

  “And because she may be a jerk about demons, but deep down she’s a good person.”

  “AND?!”

  “And because she fell in love with me,” I said quietly, “and it would be even shittier of me if I walked away without saying goodbye.”

  Alaria looked at me with equal parts fury, fear, and hurt. “Are you in love with her?”

  “No,” I said quietly as I stared into her eyes. “I’m only in love with you.”

  Her mouth dropped open in surprise, and her eyes glistened with tears.

  Then she collected herself and humphed. “Good.”

  “…you’re jealous!” I realized with delight.

  “No I’m not,” she grumbled.

  “Yes you are,” I smiled, and leaned in for a kiss.

  “NO I’M NOT,” she yelled, and pushed me away – though I could tell she was trying to hide a smile.

  “I like that you’re jealous,” I said in a low, seductive voice.

  Alaria looked into my eyes, her lips just an inch away from mine. “…you do, huh?”

  “Yes…”

  I leaned in, my lips searching for hers.

  Just as I was about to kiss her, Alaria broke into a wicked grin. “Maybe I should fuck another guy, then, and make you really jealous.”

  My eyes flew open wide – and I grabbed her under her arms and started tickling her. “You little punk – ”

  “AAAH! Stop, STOP!” she giggled and squealed.

  In all our shifting around as I tickled her, we nearly fell off the ledge.

  We were two inches away from falling 30 stories when I grabbed her at the last second and we fell backwards onto the roof.

  “Jesus!” I cursed, my heart hammering in my chest.

  “He wouldn’t have saved you if you fell,” Alaria laughed, then kissed me on the cheek. “But I would.”

  “Yeah, and probably try to sleep with him, too.”

  She giggled. “I’m not going to do that. I promise.”

  “I know,” I said grudgingly as I stood up.

  I turned towards the stairwell, my stomach in knots at what I had to do next.

  “Don’t you go fucking Little Miss Angel on the way out, either,” Alaria said, leaning seductively on one elbow and looking up at me.

  “Don’t worry, I’ll never sleep with her again.”

  Alaria’s eyes suddenly bugged out as she sat up straight. “What do you mean, ‘again’?!”

  Oh SHIT.

  I didn’t realize she didn’t know.

  “You slept with her?!” Alaria shouted as she jumped to her feet.

  Great – here we go.

  I groaned. “I thought you knew – ”

  “NO, I didn’t KNOW!”

  “That’s what I meant when I said…” I started, then trailed off.

  “Said what?!” Alaria demanded.

  I hadn’t wanted to make the situation worse than it already was, but…

  Shit.

  Here goes Breakup Number Two.

  “That’s wha
t I meant when I said that whenever I was with her, I was pretending she was you.”

  Alaria’s mouth dropped open. “So you fucked her, but you were thinking of ME?!”

  I winced. “…yeah.”

  Then Alaria did something I never would have predicted in a million years.

  She launched herself right at me, grabbed me tight, pressed her naked body against mine, and kissed me. Hard. With lots and lots of tongue.

  When we finally came up for air, I stared at her in shock.

  Alaria was panting, and her expression looked like she wanted me inside her right now.

  “That’s the hottest thing anybody’s ever said to me,” she growled lustfully.

  Wow… succubi really ARE different from regular girls…

  “Well, hold that thought until I go break up with her,” I said.

  “Was she any good in bed?” Alaria asked.

  I frowned. “Jesus – ”

  “What does Jesus have to do with whether she was any good in bed?”

  “Nothing,” I said, and truer word had never been spoke.

  “Well?! Was she?!”

  “She was fine,” I said as I edged towards the stairwell.

  “What does that mean?” Alaria said, following me. “Did she ever go down on you?”

  I winced in horror. I’d never talked about this sort of thing with previous girlfriends, and I still wasn’t convinced it wouldn’t create another blow-up. Maybe even another break-up.

  “Answer the question!” Alaria demanded. “Did she or didn’t she go down on you?”

  “I don’t want to talk about this right now!”

  “Okay, that’s a ‘yes.’ Was she any good?” Alaria asked suspiciously, then began talking to herself. “I bet she wasn’t… I bet she was nothing but teeth… did she make you come when she did it?”

  “I’m not talking about this!”

  Alaria’s mouth dropped open in shock.

  “She DID! She DID make you come! But did she ever come? I bet that’s how she won the fuckoff. Angels can’t come, everybody knows that. I was stupid to even do that damn contest,” Alaria muttered to herself angrily, then looked at me again for confirmation. “She couldn’t come, right?”

  “Um…”

  “OH MY GODDESS, SHE CAME?!” Alaria shrieked. “HOW?! I mean, you’re good, but you’re not that good!”

  “HEY!” I yelled.

  Alaria looked off to the side and grumbled to herself, “If she could come, then how the hell did she win the fuckoff?!”

  “I’m going now,” I said, heading for the stairwell.

  “What position was her favorite?” Alaria asked. “I bet she only liked missionary, didn’t she? Did you do it in any other positions? OH MY GODDESS, YOU DID – that little bird-slut – ”

  “Why do you want to know so bad?!”

  “Because I want to know what it’s like to fuck an angel!”

  “Not nearly as much fun as fucking a succubus.”

  “Awwwww,” Alaria grinned. “You say the sweetest things.”

  Then she grew serious again. “Was she fun in bed?”

  “I’m not having this conversation right now,” I said as I ran down the stairwell.

  “I want to know everything!” Alaria yelled at me from the roof. “DETAILS, you hear me? What she tastes like, what she sounds like when she comes, what she likes you to do to her – when you’re fucking me later, I want to hear everything – GOT IT?!”

  As I ran down the stairs, there was only one thought in my head.

  Man, succubi are NOTHING like regular girls…

  31

  I went downstairs and walked back into the penthouse. The place was a mess, with the wreckage from Meera and Alaria’s fight strewn everywhere. Broken chairs, overturned cabinets, shattered plates, scattered books and objects.

  Meera was still on the couch, naked and clutching the bottle of beer.

  Stig still sat beside her, patting her knee consolingly.

  Blutus was hanging out in the corner trying not to be noticed, which was like a bearskin rug trying not to stand out in a white padded room.

  As soon as she heard my footsteps, Meera looked up at me. Her eyes were red and swollen, but I saw a faint glimmer of hope in them.

  As soon as she read my face, though, that hope was extinguished. She bent over and began to cry bitterly.

  I felt absolutely awful seeing her like this. My stomach hurt and I wanted to throw up.

  I never had that many girlfriends in the past, but of the few I had where the girl didn’t dump me first, I would stay in miserable situations just because I didn’t want to deal with this moment: the break-up.

  Break-ups fucking suck. Especially when you still care about the person.

  But it had to be done.

  “Stig and Blutus, go on up to the roof, okay? I’ll be up in a minute.”

  Stig patted Meera’s leg one last time, then slid off the couch and ambled out the door. Blutus shambled along behind him.

  I slowly walked over to the couch – and along the way stepped on Alaria’s thong. Her bra was nearby. I hastily picked them up and stuffed them in my bag before I spoke.

  “So… um… the succubus from earlier… that was Alaria,” I mumbled.

  “Yes, I figured that out when you called her ‘Alaria,’” Meera said sarcastically. Or as sarcastically as she could manage, anyway. She was too nice and sweet to be able to sound caustic or biting. If Alaria had said those exact same words using the same tone of voice as Meera, it would have sounded like deep sincerity.

  Because I didn’t know what to say, I stumbled through a bunch of platitudes. “Look… Meera… you’re a great girl. I’m sorry it didn’t work out. It’s not you, it’s me.”

  Is there any sentence in the world lamer than It’s not you, it’s me? I doubt it.

  Meera looked up at me through eyes filled with tears. “What did I do wrong?”

  My heart ached for her, and I sat down next to her on the sofa. “You didn’t do anything wrong.”

  “Am I not pretty enough?” she whispered.

  “You’re beautiful,” I said, and meant it. In fact, I was having to try very hard not to look at her naked body.

  “Is it because I cooked the popcorn poorly?”

  I frowned. That was a weird second question, but… whatever. “No – no, the popcorn was fine.”

  “Did I not do the griefing good enough?”

  “The wha– oh – uh, no, that was fine, too.”

  More than fine, actually.

  Her face contorted in pain and anger. “Then why would you choose a demon slut over ME?!”

  “Okay, remember when I said it wasn’t you, it was me?” I asked, irritated. “When you go around saying asshole things like that, it’s definitely you.”

  “But… she’s a demoness…” she said plaintively.

  “So?”

  “So if that’s what you want, why were you ever with me?”

  “I’m hearing a lot of that lately…” I muttered.

  “What?”

  “Nothing. Look, it’s not that I want a demoness or an angel… I just… Alaria’s who I met first. She’s really amazing – you would probably like her if you got to… know her…”

  I could see from the scowl on Meera’s face that this part of the speech wasn’t going over well, so I cut to the chase.

  “The point is, you’re amazing, too. You’re kind, and giving, and –

  “I can be better in bed!” she said in desperation.

  “Um… no, that part’s fine – ”

  “I can learn to grief you better!”

  As she said it, she reached over into my lap and began to fumble with my belt.

  I put my hands on hers and stopped her. “You grief just fine. Really good, actually.”

  Tears spilled out of her eyes as she stared into mine. “Then why don’t you want me?”

  I winced. “You know why.”

  “No, I don’t,” she sobbed
. “Why don’t you want me?”

  “…because I’m in love with Alaria.”

  It was like I had pierced Meera’s heart with a spike. Her face crumpled into a mask of grief as she turned away from me and wept into her hands.

  I sat there in silence until she was through the worst of it. Then I spoke again softly.

  “Meera… I’m so sorry. I wish it hadn’t happened like this. But really… you don’t want me. I’m just some guy. You… you’re an angel. And a really wonderful person.”

  I paused.

  “…other than the anti-demon bigotry stuff. Anyway, you’re going to make somebody really, really happy… and you deserve someone better than me. You deserve to be happy. And you will be. I promise.”

  As I spoke, she gradually stopped crying. She sat up straight and stared in a daze out the floor-to-ceiling window. The wet streaks on her face reflected the dim lights of Exardus’ nightscape.

  “Hey,” I whispered, coaxing her to look at me. Then I reached up to her collar and undid it. “You don’t need this anymore. You need to be free.”

  I dropped the collar in my bag, then gave her an awkward half-smile. “Can we still be friends?”

  She stared at me in silence, dull-eyed and blank, for almost ten seconds.

  Then her expression slowly contracted into a hateful scowl.

  I heard the noise before anything else:

  FWOOSH.

  And then I felt an agonizing pain jolt through my chest.

  I looked down in shock to see the flaming sword buried through my heart.

  “No,” she snarled. “No, I don’t think so.”

  With a savage scream she heaved me through the air, flung me off her sword, and sent me crashing through the plate-glass window.

  Huh, I thought.

  THAT didn’t go so well.

  32

  As I smashed through the glass and started to plummet 30 stories, my interior monologue kept up its chatter.

  First it was DAMN, Meera’s PISSED.

  Then I started to think, Huh… falling isn’t as bad as I thought…

  Everything seemed to be moving in slow motion. The broken glass shimmered all around me like ice, and the stars peeked out from between the clouds.

  It was really pretty.

  You know… given my impending death and all.

  Up above me I heard Alaria scream, “IAN?!”

  A slender silhouette dove off the top of the building and raced towards me, its wings flapping furiously.