Lead Me Home

by Stacy Hawkins Adams

  “I’m letting him go because if we don’t, this crush of his will only intensify,” he’d told Shiloh when they were in their room alone, getting ready for the trip. “Sometimes you have to let them have their way to teach them a bigger lesson. Let him come. I guarantee you he’s going to figure out a way to see this girl while we’re in Atchity, and maybe it will help both of them calm down.”

  Shiloh wasn’t so sure, but these days, she wasn’t sure of much. Texts from Dayna reassured her that Daddy had indeed suffered a mild heart attack and would have two stents inserted into his arteries in the morning. Her texts to Monica continued to go unreturned. It made Shiloh angry, because she’d done nothing but support Monica and stand with her through thick and thin. And yet, her rational side understood; this was a family crisis of gargantuan proportions. Her father may have warned her to keep quiet about everything, or he may have even taken her phone. Anything could have happened. Still, Shiloh decided that if she hadn’t heard something from the girl by tomorrow evening, after she had made it to Alabama and ensured that Daddy was okay, she was going to call Eleanor for an update, to make sure Monica was holding up.

  Shiloh felt guilty for following her son’s lead, but after checking to make sure Randy was wide awake, she slightly reclined the seat of the Lincoln and closed her eyes.

  “Hmmm, sweet dreams, princess,” Randy said sarcastically, but patted her thigh.

  Shiloh woke at 2 a.m. to drive until five. She napped in the early morning, then drove again from seven to nine. Finally at 11 a.m. they crossed the Alabama state line. Shiloh glanced at Randy, whose eyes were glued to the road as he sang along to a gospel CD. She peered in the backseat and saw that Lem was knocked out. A quick check of her cell phone revealed that she had voicemails from Jessica and Jade, and a text from Monica.

  Shiloh sat up straight and started with the latter. The message from Monica was brief, but reassuring all the same.

  I’m okay. Going to school today as usual. Will call when I can.

  Shiloh had tons of questions, but unless she was going to force herself into the girl’s space, it was clear answers weren’t going to be forthcoming right away. She’d have to keep praying and waiting. She sent a quick text to tell Monica where she was and to invite her to call.

  Jessica’s voicemail message came through first. “Hey, Shiloh. I’m traveling from Texas and will land in Alabama around ten a.m. I’ve left a message for Dayna, too, but wanted to let you know I’m on my way. Hope you’re holding up okay.”

  Shiloh appreciated Jessica reaching out. At a time like this, she needed all the sisterly comfort she could get.

  Jade’s call had been last. It hit Shiloh as she prepared to listen to the message that this was Jade’s big week. The pageant was this Friday, and a big group from St. Stephens Baptist had bought tickets to attend and cheer her on. Shiloh’s own ticket was in her purse, she remembered—a complimentary one from Jade. If she was going to be here longer than expected, she might need to find a way to quickly mail it back, so Jade could share it with someone else and it wouldn’t go to waste.

  “Hi, Shiloh, Vic told me last night what was going on with your dad, and I’m just calling to let you know that I’ve contacted the women in our Bible study and we are bathing you and your father and your entire family in prayer. Fear not, my friend. God is with you, and so are we … Love you.”

  Love you?

  Shiloh shook herself to make sure she’d heard correctly. Those words flowing from Jade Smith? To her? There was indeed a God. Despite her longstanding cynicism, God had been softening her heart toward her “Second Lady,” and obviously he’d been doing the same work on Jade’s attitude toward her. He was something else, and Shiloh realized she was thankful. She’d never be beauty queen material herself and truthfully, had no desire to be. It hadn’t hurt, however, to have someone in her world who saw beauty as a ministry of sorts; not a way to just paint the outside with flair, but a means of allowing the outside to reflect the beauty within. Jade had explained that concept to her last Saturday, while they worked on her pageant speech, and since then, Shiloh had seen Jade in a new light. Maybe she had really seen her for the first time, and she’d left their morning meeting wondering if the delay had been her own fault.

  Shiloh texted Monica back with the very words Jade had used:

  Love you. Call me as soon as you can.

  She’d shared that sentiment with Jade as well.

  Thanks for the call and prayers. In case I don’t make it back before you leave town on Wednesday to head to Fond du Lac, all the best getting ready for Friday’s pageant. You are a winner, and God is going to use you!

  They reached the city limits, and Randy drove straight to Atchity Regional Memorial Hospital. Shiloh had forgotten to ask Dayna for Daddy’s room number, but Randy assured her it didn’t matter.

  “This hospital has an information desk like all others—at least we hope,” he joked. “One way or another, we’ll get to Dad’s room okay, even if we have to knock on each one until we find him.”

  Shiloh hadn’t received an update from Dayna in the past few hours. She hoped that meant all was well. She and Daddy had never been super close, primarily because he’d always been busy with his parishioners. But he was her daddy, and she loved him, and in case he didn’t realize that, she was looking forward to telling him in person.

  forty-six

  Finding Daddy’s hospital room became a simple game of follow the church members.

  Shiloh, Randy, and Lem boarded an elevator to reach the third-floor cardiac unit and found themselves surrounded by Riverview Baptist members who had come to check on their pastor. They were thrilled to see the family.

  “Ya’ll been gone two years, but you look the same! Sister Shiloh, you done got a little thicker! Lookin’ good back there.”

  Shiloh glared at Randy, even though the frisky, seventy-year-old deacon who always had a comment that should be kept to himself deserved her visual wrath. Randy pursed his lips to contain his laughter and fixed his gaze on the climbing elevator floor numbers. Shiloh wanted to kick him for not defending her, even though she knew a response would cause more drama.

  They stepped out of the elevator before she could think of a respectful, yet pointed comeback, and the opportunity was lost, as all attention shifted to trying to reach her father’s room. It meant walking down a hallway full of more Riverview Baptist members, and having a mini homecoming “meet and greet,” which was the last thing Shiloh had anticipated or wanted. She was surprised that doctors hadn’t shooed some of these people away, or that Dayna hadn’t asked them to leave or take shifts. That would have broken every rule in the Southern hospitality guidebook, though. These folks were here to show their respect and love for their pastor; Daddy wouldn’t have wanted it any other way.

  By the time she found his room, she had to identify herself to a nurse stationed nearby. The woman agreed to let her, Randy, and Lem enter, and the minute Lem pushed the door open for her, Shiloh began to tremble, unsure of what to expect. Randy grasped her hand and led her inside.

  Daddy was hooked up to several beeping and pulsing machines, but he seemed to be sleeping. He looked frail and older than Shiloh remembered. Mama sat in a chair near the head of his bed, dozing. Shiloh approached her and touched her arm.

  Mama startled awake, but a smile swept across her face when she raised her head and saw Shiloh. “You made it!” Mama stood to embrace her and Randy and gasped when she saw Lem standing behind them. “You brought one of my grandbabies, praise God!”

  At five feet seven, Lem was her height. That didn’t stop her from gathering him in her arms and rocking him back and forth in a pendulum-like hug for several minutes. When she released him, Lem looked embarrassed, but understanding.

  Mama took Randy’s hand and led him over to the bed, where they stood side by side gazing at Daddy. Left in the background with Lem, resentment filled Shiloh’s chest. Now was no time to seemingly throw a tantrum, though. She moved
to the other side of Mama, opposite of Randy, and peered at her father. She said a silent prayer for a quick recovery, just as Randy uttered one aloud.

  “Father, thank you for allowing Dad’s condition to be caught as soon as it was so this wasn’t worse. Please heal him completely, restore his energy, and let him continue to serve you as you see fit. Amen.”

  Randy hugged Mama. “Does Dad know he’s a rock star? The hallway and elevators are filled with Riverview Baptist members.”

  Mama’s eyes widened. “Lord have mercy … I didn’t know! I need to go out there and thank them for coming …”

  Shiloh touched her shoulder and shook her head. “This is no time for social niceties, Mama. Just take care of Daddy, and yourself. They’ll understand.”

  Mama paused to consider Shiloh’s advice. “You are right; they will understand. I can thank them all during an upcoming service.” She turned and hugged Shiloh. “I’m so glad you’re here, Shiloh. Times like these cause me to miss having you and Randy here with us, at church. You two were our backup team.”

  Randy smiled at Mama. “I know it’s probably too soon to have this figured out, but any idea who’s going to preach this coming Sunday?”

  Mama’s eyes gleamed with hope when she peered at him.

  “No, Mom, I don’t think so,” Randy said. “Shiloh and I have to get back to the younger boys, plus Lem is missing school to be here, so we’ll be heading out in another day or so. We just had to come and lay eyes on Dad for ourselves, and to pray for him and with him.”

  Mama nodded. “I understand, son. I’m sure the deacons will figure something out for us this week.”

  She looked toward Daddy and her expression softened. Shiloh saw a tenderness in Mama’s eyes she’d never noticed before. This wasn’t just a First Lady doing her “job” of honoring her preacher husband; Mama loved Daddy. Serving him, being his helpmate, was her life’s calling—her contribution to the building of God’s kingdom.

  That realization made Shiloh want to weep, because for the first time she understood the mother she had sought to emulate all these years. In some ways, she had been going through the motions—playing the part of the good daughter, the good wife, and the good mother, when for Mama, doing those things were a passion. Shiloh didn’t love her family or her husband any less; but it was clear she had to walk her own path and carve a niche of her own, while Mama may have been led to her role by the Lord.

  Part of her purpose was to teach; that was something Shiloh could no longer deny. How that would mesh with the life she had established with Randy, she didn’t know, but she was thankful that Randy was supportive in helping her figure it out. The same look of love she saw Mama bestow on Daddy was what she felt for her husband.

  Mama kissed Daddy’s forehead, and motioned for Shiloh, Randy, and Lem to follow her out of the room. Shiloh kissed him, too, before moving away from his bed. Daddy didn’t stir, but she quashed her fears by reminding herself he was heavily medicated.

  “How are you going to get out of here without stopping to speak to all of those waiting church members?” Shiloh asked Mama.

  Mama looked to Randy for a solution. He looked to Shiloh, who shrugged.

  “Where’s Dayna?” Shiloh asked.

  “She and Warren stepped out to get something to eat. They said they’d be back shortly. Why don’t you call her? She’ll know how to handle them,” Mama said.

  “No …,” Shiloh said, trying to devise another solution. Dayna and Warren had moved heaven and earth to get there as quickly as they could after finding out Daddy was sick; they needed what little down time they had taken.

  Shiloh poked her head out of the door and motioned for a young nurse at the station across from Daddy’s room to come. “Can you help us get out of here without being mobbed by our well-wishers? My mother can’t handle that right now.”

  The nurse returned to her desk and shared the request with another nurse, who appeared about ten years older. The woman reviewed some notes on a chart, then rounded up everyone in the hallway.

  “If you’re here for Reverend Wilson, I can tell you that he’s doing fine and a full recovery is expected. However, what he needs most right now is some rest, and of course, your prayers. His family also needs some breathing room. So if you’ll give them the space to come and go, that would serve Reverend Wilson best right now. They can’t talk or visit right now; so please keep them in your prayers, but allow them to have this private time as a family.”

  Riverview Baptist members gathered their purses or coats and slowly left. Others, like the flirtatious deacon who had arrived at the same time as Shiloh and her family, didn’t budge. Shiloh was about to instruct Mama to paste on a polite smile and wade through the congregation as best she could, when a handsome, red-headed doctor wearing an official white coat came through and cleared his throat.

  “Good evening, saints! I’m sure Reverend Wilson would be grateful to know you all are here; but as his physician, I must ask you to give him time to get better. The best thing you can do for him and his family is pray for his healing, and their strength. We have to keep the hallways clear. If you are unable to find a seat in the waiting room, please come back some other time.”

  Within minutes, everyone was gone.

  Shiloh turned to her family. “Didn’t the nurse say almost the exact same thing?”

  Randy grinned. “A doctor in a white coat is revered second only to God. You know that.”

  “Whatever works,” Shiloh said. “Come on, Mama; let’s get you out of here for a while.” She turned and looked at Daddy. “You sure he’s going to be alright?” After asking Mama the question, she kicked herself for possibly planting a seed of doubt.

  “In the name of Jesus, I declare that he’s already alright, Shiloh,” Mama said. “Your daddy has a lot more living to do; he just needs to rest right now, and slow himself way down when he gets out of this hospital. He’s got a hard head, but maybe he’ll listen to the doctors, if not to me.”

  Shiloh opened the door for Mama, then led her from the room. They had almost reached the elevators when a young lady carrying a potted plant and wearing a vivid blue sundress turned the corner, striding as if she were on a mission. The teenager looked past Shiloh and Mama, and her eyes lit up. Shiloh heard Lem gasp, and she knew. Lia had come to Atchity.

  “You’re here,” Lem said, awestruck.

  The girl nodded. “I came as quickly as I could—all by myself. My grandfather allowed me to drive, as long as I promised to stick to the speed limit and not stop anywhere along the way. Is your grandfather okay?”

  Lem seemed flustered now that he was in the presence of the girl he raved about every chance he got. If the circumstances had been different on this first meeting, Shiloh might have been amused to see her son so tongue-tied. Today, however, she watched with mild interest.

  Lia turned toward Shiloh and Mama. “Hello, forgive me for being rude,” she said, and extended her hand to Mama first. “You must be Lem’s grandmother. I’m so sorry to have to meet you under these circumstances. My family and I have been praying for Reverend Wilson. He’s well known in Birmingham, too, you know.”

  Shiloh couldn’t help but be impressed. “Nice to finally meet you in person, Lia. Skype and OoVoo don’t do you justice; you’re lovely. Did you say your family knows my father?”

  Lia nodded. “Nice to meet you, too, Mrs. Griffin. And yes, ma’am, we know of Reverend Wilson. Our pastor, Reverend Floyd, is good friends with him, and Reverend Wilson has preached several revival services at various churches in Birmingham.”

  “What’s your name again, baby?” Mama asked. “Lia—Lia Hamilton.”

  Shiloh stopped breathing, and if her head could have swiveled on her neck, it would have. This girl couldn’t be part of that family. Shiloh took a closer look at her light brown skin, long hair, and thin nose. Forget might be—she was.

  forty-seven

  Lem wasn’t the only one smitten with his friend; so was Mama.


  She couldn’t stop talking about how mannerly and pretty Lia was, and how impressed she was that the girl took time to travel an hour from Birmingham to Atchity to see Lem, and to check on his grandfather. But Shiloh couldn’t think straight.

  She’d left one secret ready to ripen back in Milwaukee, with her young friend, Monica, who still needed her. Now Shiloh had traveled home to Alabama and discovered that all summer, her son had been falling for a girl whose life was likely borne from Shiloh’s other sin. Lia had joined Mama and the Griffin family for an early dinner before driving back to Birmingham, and the entire time Shiloh worried that she would do or say something that tipped her hand. Speaking very little had been her way of making it safely through the meal, but Shiloh knew she’d left Lia and Lem with the impression that she didn’t care for Lia, which wasn’t the case.

  Two hours later, Shiloh sat on the bed in Mama’s guest room, which had once been Dayna’s girlhood haven, and waited for her sisters to arrive, so they could discuss a change in plans for Thanksgiving, which was just over a week away. She was certain they were going to move the family gathering back to Atchity, since Daddy wouldn’t be able to travel; but the three of them needed to make it official. It seemed a given that the family cruise Jessica had in mind would be postponed. A family vacation could wait until Daddy was well, and truthfully, it would be appreciated more, when they could celebrate his return to health.

  Allowing those logistics to creep into her thoughts hadn’t been part of tonight’s plans, which had included preparing and freezing some meals for Mama and Daddy to eat when he returned home, and taking a nap while Lem and Randy followed Lia part of the way back to Birmingham, so she wouldn’t drive the whole way after dark alone. Mama was at Daddy’s bedside again, awaiting the last visit of the night from his doctor, and Dayna was with her, so she could sit in on the discussion. Warren had driven Jessica to Birmingham to meet Keith at the airport. Since everyone else had come with their spouse in tow, Jessica had decided hers should be here, too.