Serenity

by Dixie Land

  ChapterSeven

  aggie, we have to talk.” His green eyes looked so appealing.

  Maggie managed to find her voice. “How did you find me? I didn’t tell my aunt where I was.” Her stomach churned; she felt close to tears.

  “Your aunt has caller I.D. I made a couple of calls, rented a car, and here I am.”

  “Michael, after what you’ve done, I don’t think we have anything to talk about. Nothing on earth you could say could change what I saw in that hospital room.” Her voice was shaky as she recalled the scene she had stepped into.

  “I know, I know. There is no explanation.” He hesitated, “And no excuse for it. You’re the girl I love, Maggie. I’d give anything to change it.”

  She could feel her cheeks burning, she knew they must be crimson. “You have a rotten way of showing your love, Michael.”

  “Maggie, I know it was wrong but I’d been so overworked and stressed out, and you’d been so pre-occupied with your mother and...”

  “Oh, my God, Michael! Pre-occupied with my mother?” Maggie began to sob. “My mother was fighting a losing battle for her life. She was dying, and you knew it. You’re a doctor for God’s sake. Have you become that callous that you can only think of the cost to you? Where were you when you weren’t working? You should have been there at my side. After what I saw in that hospital room, I can only assume you were off somewhere rolling in the hay with my so-called best friend the other times too. Not only did you wound my soul; Robyn crushed it too. And now...”

  “Maggie, I’m sorry,” he interrupted. “Like I said, I’d change everything if I could. I do love you, but…” “Change what, Michael? Getting caught?” He paused a moment and put his hands on her shoulders and leaned his head down toward her as if he were going to kiss her. She pushed his hands away and stepped back. “Please, don’t touch me, Michael,” she said firmly, though inside she felt herself beginning to waver. His mellow voice and that little boy look he got on his face when he was trying to talk her into something always grabbed at her heart. “Okay, Maggie. Okay. Sorry. I won’t touch you,” he said backing away and raising both hands into the air. “I have to tell you something. And you aren’t making it easy on me. I wanted to do it in person; I wanted you to hear it from me not someone else. I’ve got to do the right thing. Robyn’s pregnant, and I’m going to marry her,” he blurted out. “I’m sorry, Maggie, so sorry. Because I still love you.”

  His words struck her like a dagger of ice thrust into her chest. Her breath caught in her throat, she felt weak, chilled to her very core. She was silent as she fought to maintain her composure. She took a deep breath before replying to his bombshell. “You’ve said what you came to say,” her voice was strained. “Now I want you to leave.”

  “Robyn wants to talk to you.” Now Michael sounded unsteady. “But—she doesn’t know what to say.” He paused. “She feels awful too.”

  “It isn’t necessary. There isn’t anything she can say. Just leave, Michael. Now!”

  He looked at her for a moment as if he wanted to say something else. Then he shrugged, turned, walked to the door and exited without another word. She heard his footsteps on the stairs. Then the door slammed shut, an engine revved, then silence.

  She stood transfixed, tears flooding down her cheeks. After a moment she walked over and sank onto the couch. Sobs shook her body. “Oh, Michael, how could you do this? I loved you. I trusted you,” she whispered. ”How could I have been so wrong about you?”

  Even though she’d been the one to leave, to end the relationship, perhaps there had been just the slightest hope in the recesses of her mind that something would happen; some nebulous fairy-tale explanation would be given to reverse it all. Now, this made it forever final. It hurt terribly, even though she knew this was the only way it could be.

  It really didn’t matter whether Robyn was pregnant or not. Maggie knew she could never be with a man she couldn’t trust. If he had cheated once the odds were he’d be tempted again, and it would probably be easier to succumb the next time. This was right; there was no other way. At that moment, she vowed that she would do whatever it took to keep him from finding out about her baby. From this day on, she’d think of this child as hers and hers alone. There was absolutely no place for Michael in their lives.

  …

  She sat for some time swept up in her grief before remembering she had promised Lil that she’d have dinner with her. She couldn’t go now; she wouldn’t be fit company for the devil himself. She looked for Lil’s phone number in her purse and couldn’t find it. She couldn’t remember Lil’s last name to look it up in the phone book. She’d just go to the door and tell Lil she couldn’t stay, that she wasn’t feeling well. That was not a lie.

  She went into the bathroom and splashed cold water on her face and re-touched her makeup. She went downstairs and got into her car.

  Charlie was in the garden again and when he saw her he waved and called out, “I see your young man found you, Maggie. Didn’t stay long, did he? Oh well, enjoy your dinner with Lil. She’s a real fine cook.”

  She nodded at him and started the engine. Did everyone in town know her business? Maggie pulled out into the road and made a left at the corner. Lil lived a few blocks down the street on the left in a light gray cottage with black shutters.

  Maggie parked her car in front of the house and walked up to the door. She barely got her hand on the knocker when Lil opened the door.

  “Maggie, I’m so glad you made it.” Lil gave her a little squeeze. “Come on in, honey,” she said pulling Maggie into the living room and closing the door. “And look who stopped by. I always say, the more the merrier.”

  “Hello, Maggie.” It was Ross Harrington’s mellow baritone voice.

  Ross looked surprised to see her there. Evidently Lil had meant the dinner as a little surprise for both of them. A bit of the match making that Maggie suspected Lil had in mind at the homecoming. The last thing on earth she was interested in tonight or any other night. She didn’t think she’d trust any man ever again.

  “Have a seat, Maggie,” Lil said, motioning toward the opposite end of the sofa on which Ross was seated.

  Maggie looked around and sat down in a green overstuffed glider rocker. “Lil, I can’t stay. I, I’m not feeling well. I didn’t have your phone number, so I just came to say that I couldn’t come,” she said awkwardly. She rose from the chair. “Now Maggie, you need some food in you, and I’ve made a big skillet of hamburger pie. Stay and help me get rid of it. Then you can go.”

  “Me too, Lil. I need to get back to the drugstore and shelve the rest of the shipment that was delivered late today.” “I can do that first thing in the mornin’,” Lil offered. “Thanks, but I’ve been waiting for that Verapamil. They’ve assured me that it’s in this shipment, and I need it for Jake Hansen. If it’s there, I want to drop it by his house tonight on my way home.”

  “That’s good of you, Ross. You’re right; I understand,” Lil conceded. She excused herself and went into the kitchen. There was an awkward silence. Maggie’s mind spun from one topic to another, but she could think of nothing to say to this man.

  He broke the silence. “This is kind of embarrassing, isn’t it?” he said smiling at Maggie. “Subtlety has never been one of Lil’s strong points. What do you say we just chalk it up to her good heart and enjoy our dinner?”

  Maggie smiled for the first time since she had opened the door to Michael. “That sounds good to me. It’s a deal.” Conversation ceased to be a problem. The two found they had a lot in common, and it seemed no time at all until Lil returned to say dinner was on the kitchen table. It was a “good ol’ home cooked meat and potatoes dinner” as Lil had promised, and it was delicious.

  When Lil got up to clear the table, Ross excused himself. He turned to Maggie; “I enjoyed talking with you. Maybe we can do it again sometime.” He touched Lil’s shoulder as he passed her, “Thanks, Lil. See you tomorrow.”

  After he left, Maggie said,
“Let me help you with these dishes, then I should be going too.”

  “You might be sorry, honey. I don’t have a dishwasher.”

  Maggie stacked the dirty dishes, carried them to the sink and picked up a dishtowel. “My grandmother didn’t have a dishwasher either. I loved helping her with the dishes. That’s when we had some of our best talks.” Maggie’s mood had improved considerably once her initial discomfort had been overcome. She had even managed to push her anger for Michael to the back of her mind for the present.

  Lil ran a sink full of hot water. She squeezed in a generous amount of Dove and swished it around with her hands. She turned to Maggie. “Girl, I hope you weren’t upset with me for invitin’ Ross over too.”

  “Well I have to admit it threw me a little. Ross seems like a nice guy, but I’m not looking to meet anyone.”

  “It’s not what you think, Maggie. I just thought you two could be friends. You have a lot in common; your background in medicine and all. And, you’ve both had your hearts broken.” Lil looked Maggie in the eye. “I’m right, ain’t I? I can tell it in your eyes.”

  “Is it that obvious?”

  “Maybe not to everyone, but it is to me cause it happened to me, too.” Lil shook her head. “Guess for as long as I live I’ll carry it with me.” Lil was quiet for a minute.

  “Where do these dinner plates go?” Maggie asked.

  “Just stack ‘em on the table, honey, then I’ll put ‘em all up together when we’re done.” She continued her scrubbing in the sink. “As I was sayin’, Maggie, I’ve been there too. I was married to Henry Bingham for fourteen years. The last two were pure Hell.” Lil’s voice was suddenly filled with emotion. She stopped her washing, and wiped her hands on her apron. She took a Kleenex from her skirt pocket and dabbed at her eyes before blowing her nose.

  Maggie was silent, allowing Lil to take the lead. If Lil wanted to tell her more she would, Maggie thought. She didn’t want to ask questions that would upset her new friend any more than she already was.

  “Look at me blubberin’ all over myself,” Lil said, trying to smile. “Every time I let myself think about that situation I end up like this.”

  “Maybe you need to let it out, Lil,” Maggie heard herself say. Maybe she should take her own advice, but this wasn’t the time or the place for it.

  “I guess you’re right, and I have let it out. Lots of times. Maybe one of these times I’ll be able to let it go. Everyone tells me I need to, and I know they’re right. But knowin’ and doin’ are two quite different things.”

  Maggie smiled at her and nodded, “You’re so right about that.”

  “Stay a while longer. I’ll put on a pot of green tea. It’s good for lots of things.” Lil busied herself putting the clean dishes into the cupboard, then removed a box of tea from the top shelf and put two bags into the carafe of the automatic coffee maker. She filled it with filtered water. She motioned Maggie to sit at the kitchen table. “This’ll be ready in less than five minutes.”

  “I really didn’t intend to stay so late,” Maggie said as she obediently walked over to the chair she had occupied during dinner and sat down. She guessed Lil needed company tonight, and it had been good for her too.

  When all the water had run through, Lil poured them each a mug of the steaming tea and brought it to the table. She took the chair across from Maggie.

  “I’m gonna let it out one more time, Maggie, and then I’m really gonna try to bury it.” Lil took a deep breath. “Like I said before, the first twelve years Henry and I were married were pretty good. Oh, we had our little problems but nothin’ we couldn’t handle. Then his kid sister got cancer and died. She was a single mom; had a boy twelve and nobody to take him but Henry and me. Kevin, that was his name, had a real rough time copin’ with his mother’s passing. Henry didn’t have much patience or understanding about it. I’m not sure why, but he didn’t want to talk about it, and he always ended up yelling at Kevin.

  “Henry had started drinking heavily, and couldn’t nobody get through to him that it was only makin’ matters worse. We fought about every day, and I know it was miserable for Kevin. He withdrew even more into himself. Then one day Kev didn’t come down to breakfast. I went up to his room and knocked on the door. After a couple of times, with no answer, I went in. The bed was made and the closet was empty. He didn’t leave a note or nothin’. He just disappeared, and there’s never been a trace of him since. It’s awful not knowin’.” She sounded distant, as if she were far from her kitchen table and Maggie.

  After a moment she resumed her story. “I could tell Henry blamed himself ‘cause he promised he’d quit the drinking, but he just couldn’t seem to go for more than a day before he’d be right back at it. I wanted him to join AA. He said he didn’t need them, that he could do it on his own. But he couldn’t; it had a hold on him.” She shook her head. When she looked at Maggie again there were tears in her eyes.

  “Then, one night in December, we’d had a terrible argument and I told him it was over. That I couldn’t take any more and I was leavin’. He promised me again that he’d stop. I told him I couldn’t believe him anymore. He grabbed his coat, and stormed out of the house. As he was leavin’ he said, ‘You’ll see.’ I didn’t know what he meant.

  “Danny Fortis, from the highway patrol, came to my door two hours later to tell me Henry ‘s car had hit an ice patch on a bridge and had gone over the side. It landed twelve feet below at the bottom of the ravine. Henry was dead. They found a piece of paper on the front seat with the address and phone number of Alcoholics Anonymous in Fayetteville scribbled in Henry’s handwriting. I guess that’s where he was goin’ when he was killed. That’s what he meant by, ‘You’ll see.’ I should’ve given him another chance.”

  She seemed to be talking to herself now. “If we hadn’t quarreled, and he hadn’t left so mad, he wouldn’t have had that accident.” As she ended, her voice sounded very matter of fact.

  Maggie reached across the table and put her right hand over Lil’s, but she remained silent.

  “Thanks, Maggie. Thanks for what you didn’t say, because I’ve heard it all from others before, and it doesn’t help. I have to be the one to tell me and convince me of it. No one else can do it for me.”

  After a moment, Maggie pushed her chair back and stood. “It’s getting late and my six o’clock alarm will be ringing all too soon, Lil. I really need to leave.”

  Lil rose too and walked with Maggie to the front door. “I wonder if Ross got that medicine to Jake,” she said. “That Ross, he’s such a good man. He deserved a whole lot better than he got. Why do the good seem to have the bum luck, Maggie?”

  “I suspect it all evens out. We all get a share of the good and the bad. Though sometimes the bad does seem to come in bunches,” Maggie said pensively.

  “Ross sure seems to be havin’ his bad.” Lil didn’t appear to want Maggie to leave before she brought the conversation back to Ross.

  “His wife Melanie ran off with one of our pharmaceutical salesmen,” Lil began. “It was goin’ on practically under his nose, but he refused to believe it. I guess he just loved her so much that he couldn’t see any of the bad in her that the rest of us saw.

  “This town was too small and evidently too tame for Melanie. Her father had been career military, and they’d lived all over the world. She thought she wanted to settle down and stay in one place, but before a year was up she was restless as a grasshopper in a field of tobacco. She stuck around for another year, but she was meetin’ that salesman behind Ross’ back every chance she got. Everyone knew it but him. Doc finally talked to Ross and made him see what was goin’ on. When Ross confronted her she didn’t deny it. He was still willing to put the past behind them and give it another try, but she wasn’t. He wanted a family, she didn’t. And she didn’t want to be stuck in Serenity for the rest of her life. Serenity was the last thing she was looking for. She wanted excitement!”

  “I’m sorry for him. But it sounds like she d
id him a favor by leaving, if that was the way she really felt.”

  “She did.” Lil agreed. “But, oh, she disappointed him, and what she did hurt him so deeply.”

  “It’s terrible when someone you love betrays your trust like that.” Maggie felt a little chill run through her stomach and chest as Michael’s appealing green eyes appeared in her mind’s eye. “Terrible,” she repeated softly.

  Maggie opened the door. “Thanks for a delicious dinner and good company, Lil. I’ll talk to you soon.”

  Lil stood in the doorway until Maggie was safely in her car and had started the engine. “Good-night,” she called as Maggie pulled out into the road.

  As she drove the short distance back to her apartment, Maggie reflected over all she had learned this evening. In a few short hours she was getting quite an earful about Serenity’s citizens. It was beginning to sound anything but what the name and first impressions of this beautiful innocent looking little community had implied!

  ChapterEight

  hough she hadn’t intended to stay long, one day then two had stretched into nearly three weeks. She had to admit to herself that she really had nowhere else to go. Where else would her secret be safe? Certainly not with either of her aunts. They were so eager for her to end up with Michael, a doctor, that she felt they’d do anything within their power to try to reunite them. She wouldn’t trust them not to let news of the baby slip should he get in touch with them in the future, remote as that might be. She certainly didn’t want to fill her two elderly naïve aunts in on the sordid details of Michael’s betrayal. Besides, she liked her new job and the friends she was making in Serenity. It was much more comfortable for her to remain here for the present.

  One thing she was certain of was that she was going to have to confide in Doc soon, because good prenatal care was essential. She had become very conscious of eating well and drinking plenty of milk even though she had never liked it. She was also careful not to skip meals, and that took some planning with the busy schedule of trying to keep up with Doc and the multitude of patients he managed to see daily.