Serenity

by Dixie Land

  She sat staring at him silently with tears in her eyes.

  “I couldn’t help myself tonight when I dried your eyes. I had to kiss you. I’m sorry if I’ve upset you or if I’ve done anything to jeopardize our relationship. But I liked kissing you. It felt so very right. And from your response, I thought you liked it too.” He looked at her, awaiting her reply.

  She had so many things she wanted to tell him. But where, where should she begin? Her mind raced. Give me the right words, she prayed silently.

  With no response from her, Ross rose slowly. “I’m so sorry, Maggie. I’ve obviously misinterpreted our whole relationship. I‘m sorry if I’ve hurt you.” He started for the door.

  Don’t let him go like this! Why are you acting like such a coward? Say something, anything. Just don’t let him walk out that door now.

  She rose to her feet. “Ross, wait. I have so much to tell you; I don’t know where to start. Please. Sit back down, and let me try to explain why I ran out like I did tonight.”

  Without a word, he walked back to the couch. He sat down and waited for her to begin.

  Maggie sat down beside him, took a deep breath and shook her head slowly. “It’s because, when you kissed me, I did realize how much I care for you. And that is precisely why I ran.”

  “Then I really don’t understand. What are you concerned about? That you can’t trust me? I’d never do anything like Michael did. I could never be unfaithful to the woman I love. To you, Maggie.”

  “No. It’s not that. I do trust you. It’s that there’s a lot about me that you don’t know. I should have told you before now. I told you how Michael betrayed me, but I didn’t tell you everything. I don’t have a right to let myself fall in love with you, Ross.” She began to sob.

  “I still don’t understand. What is it?” he asked leaning forward on the sofa. “Why can’t you let yourself love me? Are you…” he hesitated. “Are you and Michael married? Is that why?”

  “No. Not married, thank God. It’s because I’m pregnant. I’m pregnant with Michael’s baby.”

  Ross’ jaw dropped. He stared at her in silence shaking his head slowly.

  “See, you do think I’m awful. I’ve disappointed you. I’m...” she stammered. ”I’m so sorry, Ross.” Tears flooded down her cheeks.

  He leaned toward her. “I am disappointed. I’m so disappointed that you didn’t feel you could trust me enough to tell me. That you didn’t think our friendship was strong enough that you could confide in me.” He took her in his arms and pulled her against him. He held her until she stopped crying. “Oh, Ross,” she murmured against his shoulder, “You’re so absolutely wonderful. You’re the last person on earth I wanted to hurt. I’m so sorry for all of this.”

  “I know. I understand. You’ve been through so much in the last year,” he whispered against her hair. He kissed her cheek. “What’s Michael’s attitude about this?”

  “He doesn’t know. And I don’t want him to.” “This is too much for you be coping with alone. Does anyone else know? Lil or Caroline?”

  “No. Only Doc and Kathryn. Doc’s taking care of me. I was waiting for the right time to tell the rest of you, and I just never seemed to be able to find it. I knew I couldn’t wait much longer. I even thought of leaving, but I have nowhere to go.” “Never do that, Maggie,” he tightened his embrace. “Don’t even think of it.”

  The shrill ring of the phone intruded on their privacy. Maggie sat motionless. “Don’t you want to see who that is?” Ross asked her.

  “No. I’m afraid it might be Michael. I never did get to tell you about his call to me last night.” Maggie relayed the details of their phone conversation. Part way into the explanation, the phone stopped ringing.

  When she finished, he asked, “How do you feel about his proposal?”

  “I could never trust him again. And I can honestly say I don’t love him anymore, and now I wonder how I ever could. But I have to admit that, until a couple of months ago, even after all he’d done to me and the terrible hurt he caused, there were times when I’d hear his voice or just think of him, something inside me longed for the way it was before any of this happened. Wasn’t that foolish of me?”

  “No. It’s perfectly understandable. This is all still pretty fresh with you. It takes time to begin to heal.”

  “He hurt my pride, and he shook my confidence. I wanted to feel that he was sorry and that he wanted me back. Then, when he actually did, I found that I didn’t want him.”

  “I know,” he agreed. “It’s damn tough on the ego when someone cheats on you. You have lots of crazy thoughts running through your mind. Believe me, I know.”

  She realized that at some point in their conversation the phone had stopped ringing. “He can’t know about this child,” she continued. “God only knows how he might use it to pressure me now that he’s decided he wants me back.”

  “Good point. I think…”

  The phone began to ring again. Ross released her, rose and walked to the phone. On the fourth ring he picked up the receiver.

  “Hello, “ he said quietly. “What number were you calling?” he paused. “You have the number you dialed, but you have the wrong person,” he replied looking at Maggie. “No problem.” He hung up.

  “It was a man. I didn’t recognize the voice, but I assume it was Michael. He asked if he had reached Ms. Thornton. You heard what I said. I am the wrong person for him to be talking to.”

  “Thanks.” She took a tissue from her pocket and dabbed at her cheeks.

  “I’ve changed my mind,” he said suddenly. “I will take that cup of tea if your offer still stands.”

  “It does,” she said, rising and starting into the kitchen. He followed her and sat at the table while the tea brewed.

  “I don’t know why it took me so long to tell you this, Ross. It wasn’t nearly as bad as I thought it would be. My thinking hasn’t always been the clearest recently.”

  “If you like, I’ll go with you when you tell Lil and Caroline and Charlie.”

  “That sounds good to me. I think we should tell them soon. What do you think about after church tomorrow? We can all come back here for lunch.”

  “Let’s plan on it.” He smiled at her. All of the strain had disappeared from his face now.

  When they had finished their tea, she walked with him to the door. “I’ll pick you up at ten-forty-five in the morning.” He took her in his arms and held her tightly, his hands caressed her back as his lips found hers.

  ...

  Ross arrived a few minutes early to pick Maggie up for church. When she heard the car pull up she looked out the window and, seeing that it was Ross, she hurried down the stairs. She met him at the lower door.

  “I told Caroline and Charlie that we’d see them at church.”

  He leaned down and kissed her. “And good morning to you, too,” he said, a broad smile curving his lips. “I like saying good morning to you like this,” he said, stealing another kiss. “I came a little early because I wanted some time to talk before church.”

  He opened her car door for her then went around to his side and got in, but he didn’t start the engine.

  She shifted in her seat to face him. “You look tired this morning.”

  “I didn’t sleep much. I couldn’t stop thinking about us. I love you, Maggie, and I want to marry you. I want this baby to be ours.”

  “I don’t know what to say. This is all so new to me.”

  “I understand. You need some time to think about it. Take as long as you need. But please, just don’t say anything until you can say yes. I love you, the pregnancy has nothing to do with it. I want to spend the rest of my life with you, Maggie. I have a big house with lots of empty rooms. I want to fill those rooms with our family.”

  He leaned over and kissed her with such intensity that it left her feeling weak. “If we don’t leave for church soon, we might not get there at all,” she told him catching her breath and reaching up to smooth her hair.
r />   …

  He started the car, and they headed toward the church. They were both so intent on one another that they failed to notice the man slouched down in the front seat of a black Ford Taurus. It had been strategically parked around the corner affording a clear view of Maggie’s apartment. After Ross and Maggie passed the vehicle, the driver straightened himself and started his car. He followed with enough distance between them that he wouldn’t be detected.

  Chapter Fourteen

  oss parked his car in front of the church instead of at the side as he usually did. Reverend Townlee was at the front door greeting the parishioners as they arrived. Maggie and Ross stopped to chat briefly then went into the sanctuary. When they reached their pew, Maggie went in first and, to her surprise, found Kevin sitting with Lil. Caroline and Charlie hadn’t arrived yet. Kevin looked surprised to see Maggie and Ross together.

  “It’s good to see you again, Maggie,” Kevin said, smiling into her eyes. He glanced at Ross and extended his hand. “Hello, Ross,” he said coolly.

  Caroline and Charlie came in shortly after and took their seats. Almost immediately, the service began. A little over an hour later, the friends walked out of the church together. Maggie had spoken with Caroline and Charlie earlier that morning and had invited them for lunch. She had planned to include Lil before the service as they all usually spent some time together on Sundays. She didn’t invite Lil when she found Kevin with her. She didn’t want him around when she finally told her friends; she didn’t want Lil left out either. She found herself feeling very irritated with Kevin. He always seemed to be butting in. But then, she told herself, she had no right to feel that way. After all, he is Lil’s nephew, and Lil has been so happy since he’s come back into her life. Maggie chided herself for being selfish. She should be happy for Lil. Still, she couldn’t help but wish Kevin hadn’t come today.

  When they descended the church steps, the little group gathered on the front lawn. Kevin spoke first. “I’d like you all to be my guests for lunch. You can name the place,” he said, looking at Maggie.

  “Thanks,” Ross said, “but Maggie and I already have plans.”

  Kevin ignored Ross. “Maggie, could I talk to you alone for a minute?” he asked, his eyes still fixed on her.

  She looked at Ross. “I’ll be right back.” She stepped aside with Kevin.

  When they were out of earshot of the others, Kevin spoke. “I know I keep turning up uninvited, but I’m never quite sure when I’m going to be able to get away from Raleigh. I’d like to see more of you, Maggie. Is it alright with you if I call this week and we plan something for next weekend?”

  “I’m flattered, Kevin. But my answer will have to be no. You see, it’s become serious between Ross and me.”

  Kevin’s eyebrows shot up. “Oh, really? When did this happen? I thought, that, from what everyone said, you were no more than friends. Does Aunt Lil know?”

  “No. She doesn’t. We’ve just realized it ourselves.”

  “Well, I guess that’s that.” There was an edge in Kevin’s voice. “Ross is lucky. I guess I should have come back sooner. What’s that old saying? A day late and a dollar short?” Something snapped between Kevin’s fingers but Maggie couldn’t discern what as they walked back to join the others.

  Caroline and Charlie thanked Kevin but declined his invitation, also. They made no excuse.

  “Well, I guess it’s just the two of us, Aunt Lil. I can’t even seem to give lunch away today.” He tried to sound casual, but there was definite irritation in his tone.

  The group broke up soon after. As Maggie and Ross got into the car, a stranger got out of a black Ford Taurus that was parked across the street from the church. He crossed over to the church lawn and walked up to Kevin. Maggie saw the stranger’s mouth move, then he extended his hand to Kevin. Curious, she thought, perhaps someone sent by his law firm with a message for Kevin.

  They drove in silence until they were back at the apartment. Before they got out of the car, Ross turned to Maggie, “Well, I have to admit my curiosity has the best of me. Are you going to tell me what Kevin had to say?”

  “He wanted to call me this week to make plans for next weekend.”

  “And?”

  “I told him I couldn’t.”

  “Because?” Ross prompted. “You’re enjoying this, aren’t you?” He laughed.

  Maggie chuckled, too. “I guess I am at that. I told him that I was serious about you. That we had both just realized it, and that was why my answer had to be no. That and the fact that he gives me the willies. Of course, I didn’t tell him that.”

  “I thought he looked a bit dejected when you two were finished talking.”

  “He seemed irritated to me. But I have the feeling that it won’t set him back for long,” Maggie said. “Kevin strikes me as resilient, if anything.” She glanced at her watch. “I need to go upstairs and get lunch ready. I told Caroline and Charlie to come up around 1:00, and that’s only fifteen minutes away.”

  “I’ll help,” he offered, as they got out of the car and headed upstairs.

  …

  Lunch was ready when Caroline and Charlie arrived. There was a platter of cold cuts and cheeses, and there were kaiser rolls to make their sandwiches. Maggie had also prepared a large bowl of fresh fruit. “I don’t have anything for dessert,” she told them. “The fruit will have to do.”

  Caroline brought a bouquet of cut flowers. Maggie found a vase for them and placed them in the center of the kitchen table.

  “Caroline keeps me in fresh flowers. I’m getting spoiled. My table’s gonna look awfully bare come this winter.”

  When they finished eating, Maggie said, “Let’s go sit in the living room. Ross and I can do these dishes later. We have something to tell you.” She looked at Ross. He nodded and winked at her.

  She and Ross sat down on the sofa. Caroline and Charlie took the two remaining chairs and looked quizzically at one another. Before Maggie began, Ross reached over and took her hand.

  “I’ve been trying for some time now to tell you what I’m going to say today. I guess I’ve been putting it off because I wasn’t sure how you’d take it.”

  Caroline looked as if she were going to cry. Her voice broke, “Maggie, you’re scaring me,” she said softly.

  “No, Caroline. It’s nothing for you to be frightened about. It’s just that I’m pregnant. I’m going to have a baby.”

  Caroline jumped out of her seat and ran to Maggie. “I’m so relieved. I was afraid you were going to leave us…to leave Serenity. That’s wonderful, wonderful news.” Maggie stood, and Caroline hugged her.

  “That’s great,” Charlie said grinning. “I like the idea of a little one about.”

  Caroline went back to her chair.

  “As best we have it figured, I’m closing in on five months now, and it won’t be long until you see me in maternity clothes. I’m down to only two pair of slacks that still fit comfortably.”

  “I thought you were filling out your clothes a little better than you used to,” Caroline told her. “But I just thought it was all our dinners and lunches and birthday parties. You look great, Maggie. Being pregnant becomes her, doesn’t it, Charlie?”

  “That, it does!” he agreed heartily.

  Caroline was pensive for a moment. “You know, I thought when we lost Joy and Jason, that we’d missed all the happiness of having a family, of being grandparents. And then you came along, Maggie.” Caroline’s eyes moistened. “You were special to us right from the start, and you’ve added so much to our lives and now this. I just can’t believe it. It’s as if we’ve been given a second chance.”

  Maggie was touched. “My baby’s going to need loving grandparents. I don’t have any family left to give him, or her,” she added quickly.

  Caroline and Charlie turned their attention to Ross who had been sitting quietly at Maggie’s side through all of this. Maggie continued.

  “I guess you’ve figured from the time frame that Mi
chael is the baby’s father. And I’m sure you can guess by the way I feel about him that I don’t intend for him to find out. He’s a chapter in my life story that is closed forever,” she said adamantly.

  “I met Ross my first day in Serenity, as I met the two of you. He and I became friends almost from the start.” She emphasized the almost. She looked at him and smiled. “Now that friendship seems to be intensifying. Ross and I may have another announcement to make very soon.”

  Caroline grinned at her. “I guess you two were the last ones to realize that, Maggie. Everyone in town saw it before you did.”

  Ross beamed at them. “Actually, I think Maggie was the last to know; it’s been dawning on me for some time now, too. I guess she just needed a little more time to come around to it.”

  “Maggie’s had a way of reaching into all our hearts from the very first day she arrived,” Caroline said tenderly. “She’s been better for me than all the pills Doc ordered.”

  “You’re absolutely right about that,” Ross said ardently.

  “Oh, stop. Stop, all of you.” Maggie laughed. “You’ll give me a big head. Now all I need to do is tell Lil. Then I can put on maternity clothes and let the rest of the town spread the news.”

  The friends chatted for a few more minutes before Caroline and Charlie left. When they were alone, Ross said, “Come out to my place, and later we can go to dinner somewhere.”

  “It’s been quite a day for me, and I have to admit I’m really tired. I think I’ll take a rain check, stay here and make it an early evening. I need a good night’s rest. I have a few things that I need to do to get ready for my week. I’ve been away from the apartment most of the weekend.”

  “I understand. I’m a little tired myself. Your announcements are tough on me, too. The day went great though, didn’t it? And do you know what I thought the best part of it all was?”

  “I think I do, but I want to hear you say it,” she leaned toward him and tickled his lips with her tongue.

  He pulled her against him as she did. “The best part was that you said we might have another announcement soon.” He wrapped his arms tightly about her and kissed her, a long, lingering kiss.