Fallen

by Natasha Grace

  Someone tried to open the door and panic filled Sam’s eyes.

  “I’m just getting dressed!” he yelled.

  “All right. All right,” he heard his mom say.

  He sighed as he ran a hand through his hair. “Let me just see what they want. I’ll be right back.”

  “No. You don’t—”

  Before she could say more, he left and found his two siblings and father yelling at the football game playing on the TV and his mom standing at the window, enjoying the apartment’s view.

  “Luke!” His sister stood from the couch and ran to give him a hug.

  He smiled as he hugged Anna. “Hey, what are you all doing here?”

  There was a warning look in his mom’s eyes as she went to hug him. “We tried calling, but you weren’t picking up.” Her gaze moved behind him to his bedroom, and he knew he wasn’t hiding anything from her. He wanted to tell her that it wasn’t what she was thinking, but trying to explain would only lead to questions he couldn’t answer, so he resisted.

  Anna piped up. “Dad and Brian helped me move the old couch into my dorm.”

  Luke frowned. “Why didn’t you get a mover?”

  His brother laughed. “For a couch?”

  “Yeah. For a couch.” One of these days, he would have to remind Brian that their father wasn’t as strong as he once was.

  “Is he coming or not?” his dad asked from the couch, barely taking his eyes off the TV, and Luke sighed. His mom should’ve known better than to plan anything when a game was on.

  “To what?” Luke asked as he looked at his mom.

  Anna smiled. “Mom and Dad are taking us all out to brunch.”

  Guilt dug into him. His parents rarely came to this part of the city, and he hadn’t even known that they were coming. But he couldn’t go. He had to talk with Sam.

  “I’m sorry, I can’t go. Maybe next time?”

  “Of course, honey,” his mom said as she laid a hand on his shoulder. “And don’t forget to come to dinner next week.”

  “Yeah. If he can get out of bed.” His brother smirked as he looked at him and Luke resisted the urge to smack him.

  “Very funny,” he said as he walked them to the elevator.

  “There better be a television at the restaurant,” his dad said. “It was good seeing you, son.”

  As soon as the elevator doors closed behind his family, Luke headed towards the bedroom, where he found a fully dressed Sam getting something from her bag. Disappointment coursed through him when he saw that it was her car keys. She was leaving.

  “I could’ve let myself out,” she murmured as she turned around.

  “I’m not going with them.” He sighed as he ran a hand down his face. He knew he was going to regret this, but he couldn’t stop himself. “I don’t want to keep us a secret anymore.” He wasn’t some teenager hiding his first girlfriend from his parents. He was thirty–four years old, for goodness’ sake. He shouldn’t have to hide the woman he loved from his parents.

  He watched as the muscles in Sam’s throat tightened. He knew it wasn’t what she’d signed up for, but he couldn’t fool himself any longer. He loved her and wanted to spend his life with her without all this subterfuge.

  “We had a deal,” she finally said, breaking the silence, and it felt as if a rug had been pulled out from under him. Even after all this time, she didn’t care enough about him, enough about what they had, to tell people that they were together. He knew she felt something for him, but he was beginning to doubt if she’d ever feel something more for him.

  “I know, and I’m sorry, but I’m tired of hiding,” he said as he took her in his arms. He hoped he wasn’t making a mistake. He didn’t want to stop seeing her—he’d never been as happy as he was when he was with her, and he knew that he’d be devastated if she thought being with him wasn’t worth it. “And I want my family to meet the woman who means so much to me.”

  “But we’ve already met.”

  “As Jason’s wife. I want them to know how much you mean to me.”

  She was silent for a moment before she murmured, “I’ll think about it.”

  It wasn’t much, but he was grateful she hadn’t immediately rejected the idea.

  He smiled as he got the keys from her hand. “Now, you can’t really be thinking about leaving, can you? I had the whole weekend planned out.”

  A smile curved on her lips. “Oh, did you, now?”

  “I did, and you’re wearing much too many clothes for what I had in mind.” She might not love him, but the one thing he knew for sure was that they connected in bed. It wasn’t much to build on, but it was all he had, and he would use it for all it was worth.

  * * *

  Samantha watched as Luke expertly flipped a pancake the next day. He was wearing the white shirt he’d worn yesterday, and she couldn’t help but wonder how much longer this fling of theirs would last if she continued to insist on keeping their relationship a secret.

  He was doing so much to make sure that no one found out about them. He always had to keep a bag of his things in his car so that her cleaner wouldn’t know that she’d started seeing someone; he had to drive himself to work every day so that his driver wouldn’t know about them. He even helped her wash and dry all the pots and pans when they made a meal so that her cook wouldn’t know that they’d been used.

  Why was he putting up with all of this?

  He could have any woman he wanted and yet, he was running through all these hoops for her. Guilt bit into her at the realization that he deserved so much better than what she was giving him. Perhaps she shouldn’t have freaked out so much yesterday when his family had visited, but she’d panicked. Meeting them as Luke’s girlfriend would’ve made the fling more real somehow and she’d been scared. She still was.

  She could easily see herself falling in love with him and him not loving her back. Though their relationship was the longest one she’d ever seen him in, she knew that it was more because of the fact that they’d known each other for so long than him truly feeling something for her. Sure, he might be fooling himself now—he wouldn’t be pushing her to out their relationship and he wouldn’t be spending so much time with her if he wasn’t, but the novelty would eventually wear off and then where would that leave her?

  But at the same time, she didn’t want to let her fear of what other people thought of her make her lose him. She loved being with him and didn’t want their relationship to end.

  “I’d love to see your family again,” she said before she lost her nerve, quickly adding, “if you’re still interested.”

  Hadn’t she felt relieved to be able to talk to Cindy about Luke? Luke probably just wanted the same thing.

  He quickly turned towards her then, as if remembering the stove, he turned around and shut it off. “Of course, I’m still interested. The family’s getting together at my parents’ house next Saturday. Are you available?”

  “Yeah.”

  “Great. I’ll let my mom know. Thanks, Sam. This really means a lot to me.”

  She was suddenly glad that she could do something for him. He was always doing things for her and it was nice to finally be able to do something for him as well. And though she was still worried about what his family would think of her, she was also happy at the thought that Luke cared enough about her to introduce her to them—especially since she knew how important they were to him. It was a sign that this was more than just a fling, right?

  Boy, she sure hoped so.

  * * *

  Excitement coursed through Luke as he dialed his mom’s number on his way to his car an hour later.

  “Luke? Is everything all right?”

  It was only then that he realized the time. No wonder his mother was worried. It wasn’t even seven in the morning yet. But he’d been excited to tell his parents about Sam.

  “Yeah. Sorry, Mom. I just wanted to tell you that I’m going to bring someone next Saturday.”

  “Oh?”

  “I
t’s Sam,” he quickly said, hating the censure in his mom’s voice. After yesterday, he understood that. They probably thought that the woman in his bedroom was someone he’d just picked up at a party. But it wasn’t like that at all.

  “Oh.”

  The inflection in his mom’s voice told him exactly what she was thinking. Sam was still Jason’s widow not only to his family, but to everyone they knew. They’d think that she was moving on too fast, and perhaps, that he was taking advantage of a broken–hearted widow.

  It wasn’t as if they knew Jason had been cheating on Sam for as long as the two of them had been married.

  When his mom remained silent, Luke continued, “It’s not something either of us set out for. It just happened.” Hell, maybe Sam had been right about keeping them a secret. But he was sick of hiding. He’d wanted to be with her for so long, and now that he was, he wanted to shout it from the top of his lungs.

  “Of course, dear. You don’t have to explain anything to us. We all knew how devastated the both of you were when Jason died. It makes sense that you two found comfort in each other.”

  “That’s not—” he began, but stopped. He wanted to protest the idea that he and Sam had come together over a combined grief of losing Jason, but what could he say? That he’d wanted her to leave Jason for years? That definitely wouldn’t get him any brownie points with his mom.

  “Look, I know that it’s not any of my business, but I just don’t want either of you two to get hurt. Sam’s already been through so much.”

  It was clear his mom thought that Sam was the injured party here, but he didn’t know what to say to make her think differently.

  “I’m not going to hurt her, Mom,” he finally said.

  “I know you don’t mean to.” His mom paused before sighing. “I just hope you two know what you’re doing.”

  Luke was frowning by the end of the call. His mom was always bugging him to settle down and when he finally cared enough about a woman to bring her home, his mom was disappointed in him?

  Great. That was just fucking great.

  * * *

  George was in way over his head with Clayton.

  Luke frowned as he read the manager’s report later that day. George wanted to buy into a small mortgage company in Nevada who’d approached them about selling some of their shares at a steep discount. The firm had had a higher number of defaults than expected and needed a new line of credit.

  Sure, it was unlikely that they would file bankruptcy, but to pour twenty million into them? It was a risk Harkin simply couldn’t afford right now. Luke reached for his phone, then hesitated. He and George had always had a difference of opinion about the way they diversified their portfolio. Luke preferred to invest a small amount in various companies while George liked to go big on just a few.

  George felt as if there were only a limited number of good opportunities out there and liked to seize them with both hands whenever they came by. Luke was more cautious, believing that no matter how good they were at analyzing annual reports and businesses, there was always a possibility for error.

  Neither of their approaches was wrong. At the end of the day, it all boiled down to their personal preferences. Luke shouldn’t have expected George’s strategy to change once he’d chosen him to head the distressed fund. Especially since George’s instincts were one of the reasons he’d chosen him over Peter.

  Luke wouldn’t question the man—at least for now. He’d already done that many times in the seven years they’d worked together. George wouldn’t have done this if he wasn’t sure. Remembering just how much due diligence the man had put into that Oakbridge deal last year, Luke knew he had nothing to worry about. George had even caught things he hadn’t seen. Luke spent a few more minutes looking over the rest of the report and was about to call George when his cell phone rang.

  He grabbed it and saw his brother’s name flash on the screen. He guessed his mom had just finished talking to Brian.

  “Mom told you,” Luke said in lieu of a greeting. He hoped his family didn’t make this thing between him and Sam a big deal in front of her next Saturday, or she’d regret coming.

  “Yeah. She asked if I knew anything about it. How long has it been going on?”

  “Almost three months.”

  There was a pause before Brian asked, “It’s her, isn’t? She’s the reason you never got serious about anyone. You were too caught up in her to notice anyone else.”

  “It wasn’t like I was holding out for her.”

  Except for the brief moment of insanity when he’d thought he could get her to leave Jason, he’d always known that she would never leave Jason for him. He’d tried to get over her so many times—he’d seen other people, buried himself in work, and had even tried avoiding her, but it hadn’t worked. Even getting a glimpse of her was more exciting than a date with someone else.

  “Hey, I understand. You can’t decide who you fall in love with, though I finally understand that glare you were giving me at the Christmas party.”

  Luke winced as he remembered his reaction when he’d seen Sam laughing and dancing in his brother’s arms at last year’s company Christmas party. Though he knew she wouldn’t have refused if he’d asked her to dance—no matter what she felt about him, she wouldn’t publicly embarrass him—he’d been afraid of his lack of self–control. He’d feared that once he’d gotten her in his arms, he’d never want to let go. So, instead, he’d watched from the sidelines as she’d danced with Jason as well as a few others at the party, probably glaring at everyone she danced with—all the while wishing it were him.

  “Was I that obvious?”

  Brian laughed. “I didn’t know what had changed. One minute, you were happy to see me, and the next, you looked like you wanted to castrate me.”

  Knowing just how close his brother was to the truth, Luke winced.

  “So, do I have to start preparing a best man speech?”

  Luke’s chest tightened. There was nothing he wanted more than to marry Sam, but he doubted she felt the same. Sure, she was willing to meet his parents as his girlfriend, but one dinner wasn’t anywhere near the vicinity of marriage.

  Not wanting to think about just how far the possibility of marriage was for them, he asked, “What makes you think I’d choose you?”

  “Why wouldn’t you? You can’t possibly be thinking about choosing Adam over me. I’m your brother.”

  “He’s definitely the safer choice,” Luke teased. “I wouldn’t have to worry about him showing any embarrassing baby pictures.” Luke doubted he’d ever forget how red Anna’s cheeks had become when Brian had brought out the baby pictures the first time she’d ever brought home a boyfriend.

  “How about just one?”

  Luke laughed. He couldn’t believe his brother was trying to negotiate.

  Brian’s voice suddenly sobered. “You are going to marry her, aren’t you?”

  “It’s a little too soon to be thinking about that,” Luke admitted. “Sam doesn’t even want other people to know about us.”

  “But isn’t that understandable to want a little privacy? I mean, the news of the two of you dating, especially so soon after Jason’s death, would definitely make it to the front of the tabloids. And besides, she let you tell us about the relationship, didn’t she?”

  “Yeah.” After he’d practically forced her hand. Considering his mom’s response, he wondered if he’d been wrong to force the issue. It certainly wouldn’t help his cause if the first people they saw as a couple didn’t approve of their relationship. Sam might not want to risk the censure a second time.

  Hell. He hoped he hadn’t messed things up by pushing her to meet his parents.

  He should’ve just been content to be with her and to take whatever she’d been willing to give, but he hadn’t been able to stop himself. After loving her for so long, he wanted everything.

  His stomach twisted at the thought that he could’ve screwed up the best thing that had ever happened to him and he
suddenly didn’t feel like talking about it.

  “I’m sorry, Brian. Can I call you back?”

  Chapter Twenty

  “So…are we going to your childhood home?” Sam asked as they got on the highway Saturday evening, heading toward his parents’ house.

  Luke glanced at her before returning his attention to the road. “No. I got my parents to move out a few years ago.”

  “You’re lucky you got them to move. All my parents let me do was install a security system for them.” She’d tried to give her parents money to move so many times, but they’d always refused.

  She understood that the house had taken them thirty years to pay off and that it was their pride and joy, but she wished they’d let her do more for them. But they’d even refused her offers to fix the little things like the wobbly porch steps and the tattered couch her dad loved so much.

  “Bad neighborhood?”

  She hesitated before answering. “It’s so–so,” she finally said, knowing that while it could be a lot better, it could also be a lot worse. “They have some good neighbors and some shady ones as well.” She shrugged. “I guess I just want something better for them.”

  Like a house with stairs that didn’t creak and a neighborhood where she wouldn’t have to worry about drive–by shootings.

  “I know what you mean,” Luke told her. “I wanted something with gates, or at least, a house in a gated community, but my parents were having none of that. They didn’t want to alienate their old friends.”

  “Yeah. My parents were never comfortable with Jason’s lifestyle, either. Even going out to eat was a chore for them.”

  Luke laughed. “I can just imagine. Jason was always into the hottest new restaurants. I swear, one of the restaurants he brought me to served raw food. And I’m not talking about sushi.”

  “It’s supposed to have more nutrients,” Sam said, laughing.

  “That may be, but I’m not eating beef that hasn’t been cooked.”

  Sam smiled as she gestured towards him. “You already know how I feel about some of those places. I think I’ve gained twenty pounds from eating all the food that I’ve missed over the years.”