Dodge the Bullet
Page 19
She had managed to channel some of her pent up anger and sexual tension into one hell of a return novel. She’d reached the halfway point and it was shaping up to be a very good story. Her agent seemed equally excited. She’d emailed a few pages after she’d gotten started and he was hounding her daily for more.
Sarah had just sat down at her computer when she heard someone banging on the door. She was surprised to see Dodge on the other side until she saw the look on his face. He scowled at her again.
“Hello.” She tried to be casual, but she sounded pissy even to her ears.
“I found something of yours last night.” He pushed past her into the house and left her to close the door behind him. “One of your novels.”
Everybody’s a critic.
“I wish I’d never seen it.” He stood there looking at her with his nostrils flared and his brows raised in vexation as if she owed him an explanation.
She reached for the cover of the book that dangled from his hand. “I wrote that book six years ago. What do you want me to say? Sorry?”
Dodge sputtered and for the first time since they’d met, he seemed at a loss for words. “Aw, hell.”
Sarah raised her brows and waited. He moved past her and stomped into the kitchen, threw the book on the counter.
“Do you know where I found this copy?” he asked.
She lifted her shoulders as he pressed on, more than a little grateful to have him in her house again.
“The passenger seat of my truck.” He sneered at her as if she’d done it herself, then stepped to face her with his hands on his hips. “Somebody threw it in the open window of my truck when I was in town to getting supplies. Somebody wanted me to take a look.”
He had a callous look on his face, the same one he got when she’d accidentally backed the tractor into the fence when he first let her take a turn, back when they spoke to one another.
“What’s the big deal?”
His brows shot straight to the rim of his hat, which he’d forgotten to remove when he came inside, a gentlemanly habit she’d come to respect. “I can’t believe you have to ask me that.”
God, she’d missed fighting with him. She could almost see the steam coming from his ears. “Well, I’m asking and I’m waiting for an answer.” It was high time he got everything off his chest. She wasn’t sure she could handle his answer under the best of circumstances, but he was emotional and angry and hopefully too upset to censor his feelings.
“Everybody in this valley thinks that we’re … you know what they think.” His brows knitted in irritation.
“You’ve never given a damn about what anybody thinks.”
“I don’t care what they think about me.” Dodge sputtered and raised his arms in frustration. “I don’t want people reading this book and thinking you like to be backed against walls and…and…dirty talk! Lord.” He let out a big breath, let his arms fall back to his hips. “I can’t believe you even wrote this stuff.”
Sarah had to stifle a laugh. “Dodge, some women like to read about things they’d never actually do.” She reached for the book. It had been a long time since she’d glanced at or thought about her old novels. She flipped through the pages and noticed that the sex scenes had been dog eared. “You make it sound like S & M or something. This is pretty tame. Believe me, there’s a lot worse out there.”
“That you wrote?”
“No, this is as wild as I ever got.” She looked at him, wondered just what bothered him so much.
“I can’t believe your husband let you write this stuff.”
“He didn’t let me do anything. He was proud of me. If you’d bothered to read beyond the dog eared sections you would’ve seen that there’s a storyline that many people connected with. This was one of my best sellers.” She threw the book on the counter, took a step closer to him.
“There are a lot of good books that don’t have sex in them. Why’d you have to add it if the story was good on its own?”
“That’s just the genre. And people like sex.” She could almost hear Jenny’s mantra in her head, It’s just sex, he wants it and you want it…
“Well.” Dodge tried to run his fingers through his hair, realized his hat was still on and quickly took it off. “Sorry about that. You know everyone in this valley thinks that we’re having sex.”
“If everybody already thinks we’re having sex, including my son,” her brows lifted in annoyance, “then maybe we should.” She closed the gap between them and pulled the hat out of his hands, tossed it on the counter. “Maybe you should back me against the wall right here and end the confusion once and for all.”
He sighed as his eyes searched her face. “This is going to get complicated.”
Sarah reached out, grabbed the waistband of his jeans and pulled him flush with her body. “It already is.”
###
Dodge couldn’t think of all the reasons they shouldn’t be together with the scent of her surrounding him and clouding his mind. Without knowing how, he’d backed her against the wall and pinned her body with his.
“Kiss me, Dodge.” She threaded her hands through his hair, pulling his mouth to hers. “Kiss me, please, and end this torture?” The simple sincerity of the plea had all common sense flying right out the window.
With their eyes locked, his lips brushed hers. She whimpered, a needy, wildly enticing sound. He gave in with a crushing burst that knocked her head against the wall.
“Ouch.” She pulled back and rubbed. When he started to back away she held tight to his shirt. “No, no, no. I’m okay.” She looked up at him ran her tongue over her lips. “Where were we?”
That was a damn good question, and one he couldn’t answer when her hands slipped under his shirt and her hips wedged between his legs. What had ignited the little firebrand before his eyes? She didn’t give him time to think about where they were and who could walk in on them at any moment, but wrapped that smart little body around him and blanked his mind. He simply had to have her, as she’d demanded and then begged.
She tasted of freedom, wild, sweet freedom, and he couldn’t get enough. He fumbled with the clasp on her bra after he’d whipped the shirt over her head. He jolted when she reached for his zipper, scraping her back against the wall. She whimpered in pain.
“Sarah, your back.” He could feel the scab from her run in with the wire.
“It’s okay,” she said. “I’m fine.”
He reached down, grasped her bottom and lifted her into his arms. “Where’s your bedroom?” The look of happy surprise on her face made him grin.
She pointed with her hand. “It’s right back here.”
He reached the room in two long strides, dropped her on the bed and looked his fill. He’d mussed the hair around her face, he’d already managed to redden her neck with his beard, and her eyes appeared hazy with desire. Her bra hung open where he’d left it.
“Dodge, if you stop now I’ll have to kill you.”
He grinned and wondered what the hell he was going to do with the half-naked woman he couldn’t escape. “I’m not stopping. I don’t have that much self control.” He sat on the edge of the bed and quickly discarded his clothes.
###
Sarah eased out of her bra, slipped off her pants and straddled Dodge from behind. She could feel the echo of her heart against the soft skin of his back. She wanted him, she needed him like she hadn’t needed a man in so long.
“Thank God.” She bit his lobe and grinned as he groaned in response. She felt empowered by reckless desire. He’d finally given in, tossed aside the pretense that there wasn’t anything between them. He pushed her back against the bed and covered her with his body. And when she smiled at him, a little bit embarrassed, a little bit shy, he bit her lip with a wicked grin.
“Second thoughts?” he asked, his eyes on hers like a laser.
“I’m not a coward, Dodge. Give me everything you’ve got.” Something flashed in his eyes, a challenge, or maybe resignation, but he di
dn’t keep her waiting for long. He brought her to the edge, teased her with his hands and mouth, had her begging for him to take her, take her now, please, Dodge, now. And then he’d change course, try new tactics and leave her struggling to take over and end the torture, the sweet, sweet torture. He wouldn’t surrender control. Being with him was all she’d thought about for weeks, having him plunge into her and clearing her mind once and for all. Now that the moment had arrived he seemed to want nothing more than to savor her desperate cries for him to have her, take her, fill her. With every touch he found more ways to pleasure her, more ways to watch her react until she could take no more and he finally entered her as he pushed her over the edge. He drove into her, his patience vanished and he bore down on her as if she were the keeper of life itself.
Sarah let out a cry of release, rising up to meet his hammering. She pushed him on his back and climbed on top to execute her own brand of torture. He made it so easy when he looked at her the way he was now, as if she were the frosting on the cake he’d been waiting to devour. She rode him and began to tumble again, drunk on the power and the sensations her body had so desperately missed. How could he know instinctively how to make her sing?
###
Dodge fell, they may have fallen together, he couldn’t be sure in the haze of afterglow. He knew she’d…had a good time, if only by the fact that she lay gasping for air atop him. He had the strangest urge to bury his face in her hair and thank her. Dodge felt sure he’d had better, more satisfying sex, but at the moment he couldn’t think when. And as he fought the urge to tell her, she seeped farther into the blood that still raged within him.
It was just sex, he told himself. Really, really good sex after weeks of fighting their attraction. But something about that didn’t ring true. Just sex, his head repeated in the same rhythm his hands ran up and down her body and she let out a purr of satisfaction. She felt so small in his arms. Somehow it didn’t seem possible for the feisty woman who’d just taken him on the ride of his life to feel so slight. Not just sex, his heart whispered.
He should be able to walk away now, pull himself away, but he couldn’t. He lay with her, still inside her, and listened to her breathing return to normal. Something inside of him teetered as he caressed her into slumber. He wanted her again. He knew his need for her would only be worse now that he’d touched her, and yet they’d only scratched the surface of what they could be and do to one another. He wanted more with an intensity that left him spooked.
###
Sarah lay atop Dodge and listened to the steady beat of his heart, fast at first, so fast, and then slower, almost in rhythm with her own. She gloried in the feel of his hands on her, running up and down her body. She wanted to weep with the joy of having had him, having experienced something so powerful and so different.
Part of her expected him to have leapt off the bed by now, leaving her to wonder about the implications of what they’d done. Part of her felt amazed he laid as he was, touching her, caressing her with such gentleness. She stayed sprawled on top of him, afraid to lift her head and start the dialogue that was too soon in coming.
What would she say? Could she tell him how it had felt to be loved the way he’d loved her, with teasing and care and passion? Tell him how he made her feel like a woman worth desiring? How she hadn’t felt that way in so long? Could she tell him that she wanted to stay wrapped in his arms and that no matter how he intended to deny the meaning of what they’d just done, that they would do it again, damn the consequences?
###
Dodge heard his cell phone ring, muffled in the pocket of the jeans he’d discarded on the floor. Sarah was awake now; he felt her stiffen in his arms when the ringing began.
“I need to get that.” He gently pushed her aside and reached for his pants, thinking an interruption was as good a way as any for them to face the music of what they’d done. “Dodge.” He listened as Miguel explained that he and the boys were on their way back to the barn and needed instructions for the afternoon. He had to get out of the house. Fast. “I’ll meet you at the barn. Keep the boys with you until I get there.”
Sarah sat up at mention of her sons. “Are they coming home now?”
“No, but they’ll be at the barn any minute.” He brushed her cheek with his palm, let his eyes glide over her. “I don’t think they need to see my truck here, do you?”
She kissed his palm. “No. I don’t.”
Between the feline look in her eye and the feel of her lips on his hand he was hard again. He quickly shifted on the bed, grabbed his jeans and began dressing so she couldn’t see how she’d affected him.
Sarah watched him dress, dared him to resist her as she lay sprawled naked on the bed. “Dodge, I …”
He leaned down and kissed her, slow and soft, then gently nipped at her breast before heading out the door with a groan.
Chapter 18
Benji paced the rug in his office while his fingers clutched the pen, whose glistening surface of cool metal had turned hot in his grip. He’d begun to regret his face-to-face meeting with the man he’d hired to execute his plans. In hindsight, the meeting sat like a brick on his chest. He’d never forget the look in the stranger’s eyes; they were cold, like the eyes of a dead man. The memory of his eyes had Benji in a panic about what he’d put into motion.
He wanted to convince Mrs. Woodward it was too dangerous to live alone on a large ranch, show her the worst of what could happen. When she saw the light he’d swoop right in for the sale, no fuss, no muss. But he kept flashing back to the man with the dead eyes. He’d given him instructions, along with a hand drawn map of the Woodward place, and told him no one was to get hurt. Benji told him to scrap the whole thing if there was even a chance that someone might get injured. While the stranger had nodded in what Benji took as acknowledgement, the furtive look in his eyes betrayed him.
Benji searched his desk for the antacids that he’d downed like candy in the last few weeks. He found the bottle in his top drawer and washed a few down with what was left of his morning coffee. If everything went according to plan, tonight was the night he’d seal his fate as the new owner of the Woodward ranch, thereby granting Saxton all the water he’d need for the Cooper development and get the monkey off Benji’s back.
Ever since he’d made implications to Kimberly about vandalizing the Woodward place, she’d been watching him and keeping her distance. He’d had a weak moment, going on about his plans in front of her like he had. He’d forgotten, as he so often did, her humble beginnings. She was too young and naïve to understand that sometimes he had to get his hands dirty in order to keep his constituents happy. In politics, keeping people happy by whatever means necessary was the name of the game. Trouble was, he’d gotten so used to Kimberly being his yes man that it never occurred to him that she’d have a conscience. Hell, he thought as he rubbed away the pain in his chest, it never occurred to him he’d have a conscience too.
Whether it was Kimberly’s reaction or looking into the eyes of a man willing to do anything for money, he wasn’t sure, but the combination of guilt and fear clung to him like a stench to a dog. Maybe with all the guilt he carried around, he’d give Mrs. Woodward an even better price than he’d intended. Maybe holding out would prove beneficial for her after all.
###
Sarah wandered the aisles of Hailey’s new drug store that had opened on the corner of Main Street. She looked through the shelves trying to find a special cream Shiloh had told her about that would help keep her impossibly dry hands from cracking in the arid climate. Shiloh had started coming around the cabin in the afternoons looking for Kevin and often stayed to talk to Sarah. She’d fill her in on the gossip around town all the while keeping a watchful eye out for Sarah’s oldest son. Sarah felt grateful to Shiloh for the company and for easing Kevin’s transition to Colorado.
Sarah had floated through the last twenty-four hours in blissful exhilaration following her sexual reawakening. She’d made love with a man who wasn
’t her husband and she’d lived to tell. Although she hadn’t told a soul. Oh, she’d wanted to tell Jenny. She’d even picked up the phone and had dialed part of her number when she stopped and thought about what she would say. “Hi, it’s me. I had sex with Dodge.” She knew Jenny would be happy for her, knew she’d understand what a huge milestone this was for Sarah. But she also knew the first question that would come out of Jenny’s mouth. “How was it?” she’d ask.
The answer to that question had her putting the phone back on its base. She’d want to admit it had been mind blowing, in both intensity and tenderness. She’d want to say it was better than she remembered sex ever being. She’d want to say it was something she intended to do again, with him, as soon as possible. But those words, those joyous words of truth felt like a betrayal to the only other man she’d ever been with.
As she wandered into the baby section, the faint scent of diapers leaked out of the thick plastic coverings. She’d smiled wistfully, remembering the thousands of diapers she’d bought too many years ago and closed her eyes to savor the smell a mother never forgets. That’s when it hit her. Her mouth dropped open and the small bucket cart she held slipped from her hand and crashed to the floor. Her hair products and deodorant rolled away on the slick marble surface. She’d had sex with Dodge and hadn’t even given a passing thought to birth control.
A young woman came down the aisle, Sarah’s shampoo in hand, and tapped her on the shoulder. She motioned to the mess on the floor. Sarah gathered her things with shaking hands in a slow motion fog as the resonance of her thudding heart rang in her head. My God, she thought. I could be pregnant.
The short drive home had been torture. The clouds had moved in, big billowing clouds whose shade varied from alabaster to gun metal gray. They moved quickly overhead and changed the feel of the landscape below. The grass and wildflowers swayed as the breeze kicked up the smell of the earth, well before a drop of rain hit the ground and set free the scents of a storm. Sarah rolled down the window, desperate for the cleansing gust of fresh air, and noticed the temperature change. She looked to the sky and thought it appropriate that it filled rapidly with storm clouds; they so perfectly matched her mood. She’d left the store in a panic. She needed to get home, find Dodge and tell him…what? That in her haste to have him she’d forgotten about using a condom. Not that she’d had one handy or had even seen one in the decade since Todd’s vasectomy.