The Pattels

by S. K. Hardy

  Raven gave him a lazy smile as she snuggled closer and rested her head on his chest. “Just for now, Pattel.” She said around a wide yawn. “Giving you time to recuperate before I wear you out again.”

  “Ah. Okay. Gotcha.” Hawk kissed the top of her head. “You okay?”

  “I’m wonderful,” she answered in a sleep voice. “As a matter of fact, I don’t think I’ve ever been better in my entire life.” She hesitated then added, “I missed you, Hawk.”

  “I missed you, too, sweetheart.” His arms tightened around her. “That’ll be the last time we’re apart from each other. There’s no way I’m goin’ through that again.”

  Raven tilted her head to look up at him. “You promise?”

  “I give you my word, okay?” When she nodded, Hawk let out a soft breath, knowing that he would do anything in his power to keep that promise.

  CHAPTER 26

  Hours later Hawk and Raven lay in bed feeding their appetites for the delicious food now that their most basic physical one was temporarily satisfied. They hadn’t eaten since the light breakfast on the helicopter so they were positively starving.

  Raven devoured her seafood and pasta dish, commenting to Hawk how good it was. She watched with a slight frown as he tore into the giant steak he ordered. “How can you eat that rare?”

  “Because this is how a perfectly seasoned steak is supposed to be cooked: seared brown on the outside, rare and juicy on the inside. Sorta like when I eat you,” he added with a sly grin.

  “Mmph. Guess it’s good then.” Raven shrugged. She tried to keep a straight face but the lascivious gleam that crept in his eyes telling her he agreed caused her to burst out laughing. “You’re incorrigible, do you know that?”

  “Yep,” Hawk answered, finishing off the last of his food and setting his tray on the floor beside the bed. “But you wouldn’t have me any other way, would you?”

  “No, I suppose not,” she smiled. Leaning over, she gave him a kiss. She managed to finish about half of her meal before sitting back against the headboard and releasing a long sigh.

  “You full already?” Hawk asked.

  “Yes. Stuffed. That was a lot of food.”

  “Well. If you’re sure you’re finished, no need letting this go to waste.” Licking his lips, Hawk lifted the tray from her lap and placed it in front of him. After taking a bite, he nodded slowly. “Mmm. You’re right. This is delicious.”

  Raven looked at him in disbelief as he proceeded to attack the food as if he hadn’t just eaten a gigantic eight-ounce steak. “You cannot still be hungry...”

  Hawk shrugged. “Not starving, but not full either.”

  “Geez,” Raven mumbled as she watched him.

  His eyes lit up when he glanced at the serving cart that still held their desserts. “Can’t wait to taste that strawberry cake. I order a slice every time I stay here.”

  “Hawk! You’re going to be sick!”

  “No I’m not,” he answered laughingly.

  “You ate your food, you started in on mine, and before you even finish it you’re talking about dessert.” She eyed his hard, flat abs with a look of envy sprinkled liberally with lust. “It’s so not fair that you can eat whatever you want and still look like that.”

  Hawk started shaking his head before Raven even finished. “Not true. I can eat like I do because I work it off. Which is another reason I like this hotel. Not many penthouses have a dedicated workout room inside the suite.”

  “I guess I can understand that,” Raven admitted. “Do you ever get tired of travelling so much?”

  “Not really. I like staying busy. I’d go crazy otherwise.”

  “You do know you’re nothing like I perceived you to be all these years, don’t you?”

  “Nahhh, really Rae?” He drawled lazily in mocking jest. “I never would’ve guessed that.”

  “Whatever, Pattel. Seriously, it’s your own fault. You have this reputation of being a wild and reckless player living for the next adventure. You haven’t really done much to change the public’s opinion of you.”

  “That’s because I could give a rat’s ass what the public think’s about me,” he said with a shrug. “But if I’m being honest, if you had met me four years ago, hell two years ago you would’ve found I was exactly what you just described–and then some. I mean, I took care of business but, yeah, just like you said I was wild and reckless as hell. But we all have to grow up sometime.” He sent her an amused looked as he finished off the last of the food.

  “There’s something I’m curious about. You said you’ve known Kruz since you were a teenager but it’s obvious the two of you came from completely different worlds. How exactly did your paths cross?”

  “How did our paths cross...” Hawk repeated her question without looking up from his plate. He finished chewing his food then placed the tray on the side of the bed with the other one.

  “Well?” Raven prompted when he remained silent.

  Sitting back he looked at her, wondering how shocked she would be at his answer. Guess he’d find out. “When he was younger, Kruz used to be a dope boy for our operation. Started off small time and worked his way up to our main connect by the time he turned twenty.”

  “Oh,” Raven frowned. “But...he’s not in the game now, is he?”

  “Nah. K. is one hundred percent legit in what he’s doing for the community. I know you probably couldn’t tell it from what happened between us the last time we saw each other, but I admire the hell outta the guy. He’s doin’ a good thing.”

  “So, you’re saying he worked for you when you?”

  Hawk let out a deep burst of laughter. “Not hardly. Just because my last name is Pattel didn’t mean I came in runnin’ shit. I had to earn that right.”

  Raven looked at him in confusion. “I don’t understand.”

  Hawk hesitated, trying to figure out the best way to explain it. “Let me put it like this. You know how some kids go to camp or work a job in the summertime?”

  “Yes.”

  “Well, that’s what the streets were to us growing up. When it was time for school break, we got dropped off in the hood every summer.”

  Raven frowned. “Explain.”

  “Me and my brothers and cousin all went to exclusive private schools, but our lives couldn’t have been more different than the kids around us. On our school break, our downtime consisted of learning the ‘family business’ from the ground up until we graduated from high school. We were never given anything. There were levels to making it to my pop and uncle’s status and they made sure we experienced each and every one.”

  Raven looked at him with a wide, unblinking stare. “Are you saying you were forced to sell drugs? What kind of parent makes his children do that?”

  Hawk’ studied Raven’s shocked face. To say she used to be a highly skilled prosecutor who knew things the average citizen wasn’t privy to, she was still remarkably naïve in some ways.

  “Baby, you gotta realize, my pop and uncle came up old school. Their father–my grandfather¬–was one of the most powerful kingpins in Chi-Town. My pop and uncle were part of the game from an early age. Their father made sure of that.” Hawk shook his head, remembering some of the stories he heard growing up. “My grandfather ruled the streets. Anyone who crossed him was taken out on his word alone. He was ruthless, which made him a target.”

  “What happened to him?” Already having an idea, Raven asked the question anyway.

  “One day his luck ran out. He trusted the wrong people. My pop and uncle were young when he got murdered. Uncle Isaac was barely seventeen and my Pops fifteen. After he was killed, they were forced out of Chicago. The same people who murked my grandfather put out a hit on them as well.”

  Raven sat up straight. “They were just kids!”

  “The game don’t care how old you are, baby. The objective was to wipe out the entire bloodline, women, children, everybody. The fucked up part was that my grandfather’s own people wouldn’t even hel
p my pop and uncle because they were afraid their families would be next. King’s dad was the only one who stood by their side, but he was just a kid himself. Once the three of them got to New York they started small but eventually built up their organization and ran that shit like a corporation.” Furrowing his brow, Hawk folded his arms and imitated his father’s brusque tone: “‘You see how them white boys run their shit. This is no different. It’s a business. You always pursue profits by the cheapest and most efficient means possible. Keep prices steady and demand stays high. It’s the American way.’”

  A reluctant smile crossed Raven’s lips. “You sound and look just like him.”

  “You have no idea how many times I had to hear that speech growin’ up. It got to the point where I could recite it in my sleep.”

  “So when you worked the streets, you started off with no clout, huh?”

  “None. I was low-level, just like everybody else. I worked under Kruz. He had standing orders to treat me like a regular corner boy. Kruz took that shit to heart, too,” Hawk laughed. “I had to fight for status just like the dudes around me, but it prepared me to deal with the world I lived in, you know? A lot of shit popped off that I had to be prepared for.”

  He absently rubbed the jagged scar on his side he got in a knife fight one summer with a rival crew. By the time he graduated high school, the scars and bruises he accumulated along the way came with something else: respect.

  Blinking, he forced himself out of the past and turned his eyes back to Raven. “Anyway, after a tragedy in his family, Kruz left the life, decided to go to school and get his degree. Eventually he started a nonprofit organization in the same neighborhood he used to sling product.”

  “Wow. That’s a fascinating story. I’m a little sad for the way you grew up, though.”

  “Nah. It sounds a little worse than it was.” Glossing over the reality of the things that happened, the lie easily slipped past Hawk’s lips. “Like all families, we have our ups and downs, but in the end, family is family no matter what. Nothing is more important than that.”

  “Then why did your sister leave?”

  CHAPTER 27

  The question caught Hawk off guard. The subject of his sister was something that was never spoken of outside the family. Out of habit, his enigmatic expression hid his thoughts.

  “I mean, I know you said it was because she didn’t like the spotlight, but there has to be more to it than that. Do you still talk to her?”

  Hawk answered her cautiously. “Yeah. I talk to her. We all do.”

  “So why did she leave New York?” Raven asked again when he left his answer at that. Hesitating, she tentatively reminded him of his promise when he asked her to stay the week with him. “You did say that nothing was off limits, remember? That I could ask you anything and you’d answer me honestly.”

  She had him there. Hawk looked at her and nodded slowly. “I’ll always be honest with you, Rae. I want us to be honest with each other,” he said, thinking about the argument she had with Benny Thompson. “That’s the only way we’ll be able to do this. You agree?”

  Suddenly appearing uncomfortable, her eyes faltered from his. “Of course.”

  “I mean it, Rae. There needs to be a solid foundation of trust between us or else everything else just crumbles away.”

  “I know. You’re right.”

  Hawk heard the words but he could see that something held her back, so he tried a different tactic. “Let me explain something. In spite of everything we go through, do you want to know the glue that holds my family together so tightly? Trust and loyalty. Without hesitation, I trust each and every one of them with my life. We would die for one another.” He touched the words tatted on his chest and continued in a quiet voice. “Family above all else. Above anything and anyone. Family is the reason we’re not dead or rotting away in a prison cell somewhere. It’s also the reason Angel helped you without a moment’s hesitation when you called.”

  Raven chewed on the corner of her lip and kept her gaze low. Tucking a finger under her chin, Hawk lifted her face so that he could look into her eyes. “We’ll no doubt have disagreements from time to time, Rae. I’m no expert but I think that’s a normal part of a relationship. But when all is said and done, know that I need and demand absolute loyalty and unbreakable trust from you, the same as I get from my family. Can you give me that?”

  Raven bravely held his gaze. “And will I get the same in return?”

  “Absolutely.” Hawk answered without hesitation.

  They stared at each other for several long moments. Raven swallowed hard as if something was lodged in her throat that she couldn’t get past. She wasn’t aware of it but her expressive face betrayed every single one of her fears and uncertainties.

  Hawk wanted to ask her what she was so afraid of, but he didn’t. Other than telling him about her brother, she still kept herself closed off from him. Maybe it was because of what happened before she left New York. He didn’t know. However, bottom line, he couldn’t make her do something she wasn’t ready to do. Hawk was confident she’d open up to him over time. Until then, he’d continue to make himself a safe haven for her and be there whenever she was ready to confide in him.

  Dropping his hand, he leaned back against the headboard and disclosed something he’d never spoken about to anyone outside of his family. “To answer your question about my sister, she left because, quite honestly, she couldn’t take our way of life anymore. When she was younger...” Hawk paused. After all these years, he still found it hard to talk about. His teeth clenched tight as he forced himself to continue. “When she was eighteen she was kidnapped and held for ransom.”

  “Oh my god.” Raven placed her hand on his arm. “Hawk...”

  “We’ve always been aware that each of us was vulnerable to that happening. Bodyguards were assigned to us when we were kids, so it was normal, but Leah hated it. The older she got the worse the feeling became.”

  “Probably because she was a young girl. I can’t even imagine being followed around at that age.”

  “That’s basically what she said,” Hawk nodded. “Leah wanted to be normal, hang out and do normal things with her friends without having security following her every single moment of the day. But because of who we were it was a necessity. The day after she turned eighteen, she managed to convince her bodyguard to take her to a nightclub. Instead of going inside with her the way he was supposed to, she talked him into staying in the car so that she could have fun with her friends.” He made a sound of disgust as he remembered what happened. “That never should’ve happened. Leah could twist all of us around her little finger but we drew the line at giving in when it came to her safety.”

  “She was kidnapped from inside the nightclub?”

  “Yeah. We didn’t realize it until later that night. When her friends came out of the club, her bodyguard noticed that Leah wasn’t with them. After he couldn’t find her, he called and alerted us. That’s when we got the call from the kidnappers. They wanted three million to get her back.”

  “Jesus,” Raven whispered.

  Hawk was away at college when Lucas called and told him what happened. Even now his stomach twisted up into painful knots when he remembered that phone call. Fighting to release the tension that stiffened his limbs, he swung his legs to the floor and leaned forward with his elbows resting on his thighs. With his head bowed he closed his eyes.

  “I’ve never been so scared in my life, Rae. Me and my little sister were tight. She meant everything to me. Everything to all of us. We called her out little princess.” Hawk shook his head slowly. “Not knowing who had her or what they were doing to her...”

  Raven scooted up behind him on her knees and wrapped her arms around his chest. “So the Pattels paid the ransom.”

  His expression somber, Hawk slowly shook his head. “No. They had no intention of letting her go. Once they got the money they would’ve killed her for sure. We managed to stall them long enough to track down who h
ad her. Turned out, it was two of her bodyguard’s cousins. He wasn’t in on it, but as far as we were concerned, he was just as responsible. He was supposed to be there to protect her. Since he didn’t do that, he paid the price along with the rest of his entire family.”

  Hawk could still hear the men’s screams, could still smell their fear, see the blood that smeared the floor and walls of the building they took them to. Whatever torture they endured was nowhere near enough to make up for what they’d done. Leah was never the same after that. Her innocence had been stripped away in the worse way possible.

  Clearing his throat, he continued on in a brisk tone. “Anyway, we got her back safely. Physically, she was fine, but mentally she was understandably messed up. The fact that we didn’t pay the ransom was something she could never let go of. As much as we tried to explain it to her, she didn’t understand. To her, it just meant that we thought her life wasn’t worth paying that amount of money. After that, she just wanted to get away, away from New York, away from this life, away from...us.” That part still hurt. It hurt all of them. “She went away to Paris, changed her last name, and got a degree in art. We see her several times a year. As close as our family was, it’s not nearly enough, but it’s better than nothing.”

  With her cheek pressed close to his she squeezed him tight. “Baby, I’m so, so sorry. I can hear in your voice how much you miss her.”

  “I do, but I understand. This isn’t an easy life. That’s why...”

  When his sentence trailed off, Raven leaned over so that she could see his face. “That’s why what?”

  “This isn’t the type of life you should have, Rae, and I’m not the type of man you should be with.” It gutted him to admit that, but it was true. “When you left New York, I should’ve walked away and allowed you to continue the life you always wanted. I still should. And the fucked up part about it is that even though I know it makes me a selfish man, I can’t let you go.” Twisting his torso so that he could grab her by the waist, Hawk pulled her around so that she sat on his lap. “I’ve been told that it’s exhausting to be with me, that I’m stubborn, and can be incredibly egocentric.”