“I guess so.” Daniel said eyebrows furrowed as he stared at my leg. “Are you sure you can walk?”
“I made it here, didn't I? I can soldier on.”
He nodded his head, but he didn't look convinced.
“It's okay, Anna. I'll give you a hand where needed.” Rachel smiled at me. “We can't leave you behind. Also, we kept hold of this for you.” She held out my cricket bat. I wiped at the wet streaks on my face.
They kept their pace slow for me, and Rachel helped with any of the more difficult bits of terrain. I knew I was slowing them down, but selfishly I didn't care. I needed to be travelling with someone. I was happy it was these two someones I was travelling with again. They might help me keep hold of this positive feeling.
Days 45 and 46
I've been trying to keep track of the days, but my head hasn't been feeling great. I may have lost a few along the way, but from what I can remember today is 46 days since I started this little diary. I've not been able to keep my thoughts straight over the past few days. Certain things are starting to merge into one. We've been moving forward, but I can't remember much that has happened.
I'm blacking out. There are holes in my memories. I can't remember how we're getting from one place to another. Maybe this is my body's way of healing. Now I have two people to help me.
I've been trying to concentrate on moving. Making sure that one foot is still going in front of the other. I had thought the pain in my leg was getting better, but the throbbing has come back now. I've been ignoring it. Pretending it's not there. I rebandaged it a few days ago and it seemed fine, but I've still not been able to clean it out fully. I'm hoping we can find a house with running water soon. The last one we stopped in, it wouldn't work. I don't know what was wrong. A house with working taps, that's all I'm hoping for now.
Day 47
We're still going forward. My spirits have been lifted since I'm back with other people. It doesn't seem as though anyone is following us. With our slow pace, we should have spotted anyone by now. We've listened out for anything unusual but only my laboured breathing is out of the ordinary.
“Does, no wait.” Rachel said unhooking herself from my arm. “Does that look like some houses down there?”
I pulled my head up from staring at the ground. I squinted in her direction, but I couldn't make anything out. We'd been weaving along the edge of a road and trees for the past day.
“I can't tell, Rach. It looks like you might be right, though.” Daniel said.
He was already in front of us by a few steps, but he jogged further ahead.
“Yeah, looks like we're finally going to be able to find some walls to surround us.” He called over his shoulder.
“D'you think you'll be able to reach it?” Rachel asked me, watching as I struggled to breathe.
“I'll be fine.” I smiled weakly at her. “Go on ahead, I'll catch up. I might be a little slower now, but I can get there. Especially if there are walls and something nice to sleep on.”
She smiled back at me, before turning to follow her brother. As soon as she turned, I allowed a small grimace to cross my face. I'd been holding in more pain than I thought. I made a mental note to retie the bandage around my leg. The throbbing had started up again, along with the shooting pains. If I could tighten the wrapping, it might take some of the pain off.
I gripped my makeshift walking stick and willed myself to walk a little quicker. I didn't slow their pace too much, but I didn't want them to worry more than they already were. The feeling of my leg splintering increased with each step I took. A noise sounded from behind me. I stumbled as I tried to spin. I was more on edge now. Being injured and weak was causing my anxiety to run on overdrive. Would I be able to outrun anything if it came for me?
I pushed myself on and in less time than I thought, I had caught up to them. I know the real reason is they don't want to lose me again. It was sweet but didn't make me feel much better.
“I knew we would find something! I told you I could see something.” Rachel beamed at me as I staggered the last few steps. “Hopefully, there will be someone there who can help you.”
As much as I wanted to give into her optimism, my sense of realism wouldn't let me. If anyone was there, it would be a miracle. Who would stick around in this? It's not like we have houses that can keep out a horde of zombies trying to eat you. No, anyone who lived there would be long gone. As much as I thought it, I couldn't say it to Rachel. She looked so hopeful and happy. It's not something I wanted to wreck.
“You might be being too positive, Rach. It's unlikely anyone has stuck around.” Daniel said.
“Well, even if no one stuck around you don't know that other people haven't turned up here. You've got to have a little faith, Dan. If not, what's the point?” She turned to him, “I know I'm being naive, but I can't give up. If I give up now, why should I even try to survive this?”
It was the first time I'd seen Rachel's optimism slip. I understood her completely. It's one of the reasons I've not totally given in. If I had, I may as well not have tried to find them again. I could have stayed curled up in a ball waiting for someone or something to finish me off. Maybe we were all trying to force optimism on the other. Daniel looked shocked at her outburst. He'd not noticed the entire world turning upside down had affected her this much.
“Well, we'll never know if we don't go and check out the place. Daniel, would you mind scouting it out? I would, but I'm not so sure I'm as silent as I used to be.” I gestured to my poorly bandaged leg.
He smiled at me. “Sure Anna, I'll go check it out. Wait here, and I'll come back for you both.”
“I'm sure we'll find someone to help you. We won't give up hope for you.” Rachel said as we watched him walk towards the houses.
“Thanks, Rachel. If we're lucky, we might stumble across them sooner rather than later.”
“I'm gonna stay positive for the both of us.” She moved closer to me, wrapping her arm around my shoulders.
My eyes prickled at the gesture. How had I stumbled across these people? They let me help them, and they were willing to risk themselves to help me. We all looked out for each other. I couldn't imagine us not being together in this crazy adventure.
I leaned myself against a fence post. Even with the spear as an aid, I couldn't stand up for too long without support. I didn't know how long it would take for Daniel to scout the place, but I couldn't imagine that he wouldn't be 100% sure it was safe before he brought us down. I don't think he would forgive himself if something was hiding in a cupboard, and it killed us all. Rachel looked like she was trying to keep watch for anything, but she didn't seem to be fully focused.
From her earlier outbreak, I knew she wasn't unaware of the dangers, but it didn't make it easy to stay switched on all the time. Watching her fiddle with the barren branches of a nearby tree I realised how young they both were. To have gone through all this, not knowing if life would ever be safe again? They were handling it better than I would have at the same age. It's not easy to keep yourself strong. Anyone can lapse back when they feel safe enough. I wouldn't want that to change though. Everyone needs distractions.
Daniel's return broke my train of thoughts.
“The coast is clear. Unfortunately, there's no one there. But there is a couple of beds, so at least we should be able to rest up.” He turned to look at me, “having your leg rested properly should help a little. If only to take the pressure off.”
“What are we hanging around here for then?” I grinned. “I need to get me some rest in that bed asap.”
I pushed myself from the post, and with small steps, headed the way Daniel had come from. I couldn't wait to lie down on something that wasn't on the ground.
Day 48
It might not have been a memory foam mattress, but last night was the greatest I had slept in ages. I actually woke up feeling rested. Being surrounded by four walls, and with a mattress underneath me, had brought back some of my optimism.
My
arm was still painful, but nowhere near as painful as my leg. The last I checked, it had been healing. I wouldn't have the nicest looking arm, but it would be okay. My leg wasn't feeling as bad as it had been doing. Daniel was right, getting the pressure off it and raising it a little had helped. Maybe life wasn't as bad as I thought it was. We could take on anything as long as we were together. Only, maybe there would be more limping than before.
We'd stumbled onto the outer edges of a village. Civilisation was slowly emerging onto the landscape, but we'd stumbled across one of the smaller cottages. It had been abandoned for a while. Especially if the cupboards were anything to go by. They were almost bare. I'm guessing whoever lived here had taken what they could with them and there hadn't been many people passing through. There was the odd selection of out-of-date tinned food, but it would be good enough for us. Anything to help us live another day was worth picking up.
“We should keep going.” I said to them both. “It's nice being inside, but we should be able to find somewhere warm and dry to rest now. It might help us to pick up more food as well.”
They both nodded at me.
“I'll go ahead and see if I can grab any supplies from any of the houses we pass.”
“Okay, no point in all three of us going in each one. Can you check if any painkillers or anything are lying around? We're almost out.”
“Sure, should be easy enough to look out for.”
“I'm so glad that we've made it back to somewhere with beds every night.” Rachel said, her hope shining through.
We grabbed our bags, and any other little things we thought might be useful and headed out. No point in waiting for something to come find us. I hoped we wouldn't go too far past the village before we needed to rest again. I don't know if I could face sleeping in the mud for another night.
Day 49
My leg has ached non-stop today. I'd managed to clean it in the house. Something I don't want to have to do again, but honestly, I think I'll have to. I wound the bandage as tight as I could, but it doesn't seem to have helped. I don't know if this is a good type of pain or not. With the pain I'm feeling, I'm leaning more towards bad. It's been nearly two weeks, or has it been more than two weeks? Whatever, it's been a good while since I was shot, but it doesn't look like the wound is doing any better. The only good thing is the blood isn't oozing out as much. I still think whatever was shot at me is lodged in my leg. That can't be helping it.
I've been keeping the state of it hidden from Rachel and Daniel. At least until I know there is something I can say about it. I don't need them worrying as much as me and maybe there won't be anything to worry about. It does mean I'm struggling to keep up their pace. I was struggling before, but now it's almost unbearable.
“Are you okay, Anna? You don't look too good.” Rachel asked.
“I'm fine, my leg is aching a little more than before. I'm sure it's fine. I think the paracetamol has worn off.” I replied.
“Okay, if you're sure. But if it gets worse let us know. We might be able to do something to help.”
“If I think I can't manage on my own, I will.” I smiled.
Daniel didn't say anything to me, but he was staring.
“You alright, Daniel?”
“Yeah, there's nothing wrong with me.”
I didn't want to take it to heart, but it felt like he knew I was lying. I didn't want to deceive them, I didn't. I didn't know how to tell them. There wasn't anything they could do to help. Being surrounded by houses and having somewhere dry to sleep was all I needed and without them, I wouldn't be doing that. It was easier to walk out here, no more roots or bits of foliage waiting to trip me up. Waiting to cause me that extra bit of pain. My main issue was I felt more exposed out here. I felt on edge and the light-headedness from the pain wasn't curbing my fear.
We were slowly making our way across the country. I don't know if we had a destination in mind anymore. We weren't travelling as fast as before, thanks to my newly decreased mobility. But every step took us further away from Nick and his horde of zombie killers. Any distance from them was a blessing.
Days 50 and 51
I'm thankful we've been able to stumble across the edge of this village. Or is it a town? I'm not sure. The weather has turned. There's a bite in the air and it feels like tiny needles pricking at our skin as we try to move. Having four walls to keep us warm when we rest is helping, and with the rest, I need now it's been a blessing.
We've been lucky in being able to scavenge some warmer clothes and accessories. Why would you leave these things behind? Hats, scarves, gloves, and jumpers are so useful. Or maybe whoever lived in these houses before had too many? I guess I left all of mine behind as well. There was a blind panic on all of us at the start.
I tried to find time to note this down yesterday, but energy is fleeting when you're trying to heal. I hope I've not missed anything out.
“When we came to find you, we overheard some of those people talking.” Daniel said as we arranged all the cushions and blankets into a fort in the living room.
“About?” I prompted.
“I don't know if it's important, but I can't stop thinking over it. I brushed it off, but it might make sense.”
“What was it?”
“About how all of this started.” He gestured vaguely. “They thought it had been done on purpose. That it was man-made and released on us, but by the people in charge. I can't stop thinking about it. It explains why no one is trying to help, and why the power was cut. It's almost like everyone in charge disappeared. If it wasn't done on purpose, then how would they know to cut the power when they did?”
“They wouldn't have done this to us, Danny. Why would anyone do this to the people they are supposed to look after?” Rachel asked.
“I don't know. But it makes sense.”
“Don't let it get to you, Daniel. Even in an apocalypse, there are going to be conspiracy theorists. We reason out worries in ways that make sense to us. Try not to let it bother you.”
“You don't get it. I've felt like there was something off about all of this anyway. How it appeared out of nowhere. I can't shake the feeling that this is why. What if this was done on purpose? Why would anyone let this happen to everything?” He looked frantic the more he thought about what he said.
“Look, Daniel, even if our own country has sold us out like this, it doesn't mean there aren't some people trying to help. If it was only our government and politicians, it doesn't mean the entire world has done the same thing.”
“But what if they have? What if the entire world is like this? Is any country the same as before, or have we all been infected with this? We might never get to live a normal life again and it could have been a decision someone made.”
“Danny, what did I say the other day?” Rachel asked quietly. Her eyes searching out his. “If we give up hope, we might as well not bother trying. There might be some awful people out there, but we can't say everyone is the same. If there's no way to survive, why are we bothering?”
He let the words sink in. He sighed. “You're right, but it makes me feel helpless. I don't get why we've been left like this if another country is running fine.”
I snorted. “Our country has ignored plenty others in its time. Wars, dictatorships, famine, it doesn't surprise me we're on the receiving end. No one wants to deal with something that doesn't directly impact them.”
Conspiracy theories had never fascinated me before, but I had to agree with Daniel. If only in this diary. Countless issues threatened our country before this happened. More and more people falling into poverty. No jobs were available to the majority of people. Maybe it was a way to ease the situation, a way to wipe some of the slate clean? Whatever it was, I didn't want to think about the rest of the world having gone in the same direction. Even if other places hadn't done this, was there a way it had been contained?
You try to be positive during an apocalypse, then a thought like this buries itself in your mind. Refusing to let go of
the space it occupied, claiming squatter's rights. I wonder how many other people have thought it. Did it make them lose hope, push them over the edge, or did it force them to survive despite this?
Day 52
My leg is not healing. I can barely hide it anymore. Every time I move, I can feel the pain ricocheting through my body. I feel like I'm on fire. I don't think I'm going to survive this. It's been too long with no improvement. Too long with no way to clean it out. It's warm, warmer than any leg should be at this time of year.
I don't know what I'm going to do. How can I tell them?
Day 53
“Are you okay, Anna?” Rachel asked me.
“Yeah, I'm fine.” I said through gritted teeth.
“You don't seem fine. You can tell us if something's wrong.”
“I know I can.” I sighed, struggling to get the words out.
“It's your leg, isn't it?” Daniel said. Not pausing to look at me.
Tears rose to my eyes, my nose prickled. “Yeah, just my leg.” I wiped the water from my eyes. “My arm's fine, scarred but fine. My leg, I don't know if it can be fixed.” I sighed, pausing in our walk. “I think it's infected, I think it's been infected for days. The last time I cleaned it out was not pretty. I thought it was getting better.” I laughed bitterly, “but I think I was deluding myself. I needed a doctor, or at least clean water when it first happened.”
“D'you think you'll be okay?” Rachel asked quietly, eyes shining with emotion.
“I don't know. No, maybe. Look, I didn't want to say anything because I didn't know what would happen. I didn't want to worry you guys.”
Artefact 299: Accounts of the Zombie Apocalypse Page 9
