Saviour

by Lesley Jones

  “Lauren, you’re welcome, Jo was just telling me you’re an interior designer, I will have to take your card, I have a couple of rental properties I will be renovating after Christmas and will be looking for someone to work on the interiors”

  “Well yeah, I would definitely be interested, I don’t have a card on me at the moment, but I can always give one to Jo to pass on to you”

  I swallow, well at least I managed to make that make sense, if that makes sense?

  “Yeah do that, please. Can I get you another drink, Jo would you like a drink?”

  “No. No thanks Gabe, Lauren, have a drink with Gabe, I am just going to have a dance with the girls”

  What is she doing? Leaving me here with him, forcing me on him. Thanks Jo, I’m so embarrassed, my stare must be burning a hole in her back as I watch her walk away.

  “Drink, then, what would you like?”

  “No, no you got the last one, I will get these, what would you like?”

  He looks at me, intently; I think he’s debating whether or not to argue so I look at his glass.

  “Bourbon please, with ice, thank you”

  I head to the bar and he goes to follow when a girl approaches him, a different one to earlier, I hear her say “Hi Gabe” And I can’t help but mimic in my head ‘Hi Gabe, take me now Gabe, you’re so hot Gabe’…….Then I catch my reflection in the mirrored wall behind the bar and realise I’m pulling faces as I talk to myself, and I’m tilting my head side to side as I carry on with ‘Outside Gabe, now Gabe, Gabe, fucking Gabe’

  I stop and almost laugh out loud….Ohhhh I really need to make this my last

  “Hi” is all he says back to the girl …. “Yeah Byyyyyeee” I say under my breath as he joins me at the bar. We get our drinks and head over to a space by the edge of the dance floor, I put my drink on the table and he leans against the wall, sipping his, he crosses one long leg over the other, I feel so self-conscious, aware of every move I make, his eyes are the most intense blue and he hasn’t taken them off me. His tongue flicks out and licks his top lip. I close my eyes for a second too long to be claimed as a blink as I think about where I would like those lips to go. Was that his intention? Did he do that on purpose? Shit, I’ve got no chance.

  “So, you come here often?”

  I raise my eyebrows and look at him.

  “Really, that’s the best you can do?”

  He runs his hand through his hair and laughs, looking around self-consciously, what? Is he actually looking around for another conquest as he talks to me? Another little bimbette, or would she be a Gabette, what am I doing? I’m so out of my depth, I need to get out of here.

  “Sorry, that was poor, I’m sorry, I’m really shit at this”

  “Oh I doubt that” And yes, I did mean that to sound sarcastic. He tilts his head to one side and unleashes a full on smile, that’s what it is, it is not just his smile or his eyes, it’s a combination of the two, he smiles with his eyes as much as he does with that beautiful mouth. I raise my chin and swallow, hard, fuck me but he’s hot.

  “What? Do you doubt that I’m not very good at hitting on women?” Is he mocking me, I bite down on the inside of my bottom lip as I try to think of an answer, I shrug and reply,

  “I do doubt that, I very much doubt that, in the short while since we have been introduced you have had more than one woman obviously trying to throw herself at you”

  “This is true but that doesn’t make me any good at conversation, if you want me to take you outside and fuck you, that’s easy, no worries, let’s go, that, I am very good at, what I’m not so good at though is standing and talking, holding a conversation that goes beyond…get your knickers off… but give me a break, I’m trying here”

  Was he actually giving me a choice? Was he actually asking me if I want to go outside, for a fuck? I might just have said yes to the fuck, just the thought of it has set my skin on fire again and has caused that familiar sensation stirring between my legs and I shift my position, just slightly but enough to make my jeans rub me. I don’t quite know what to say. I knock back the rest of my drink and without even asking; he heads to the bar and gets us another. He puts his down on the table next to us when he returns and then passes mine to me, as he does he puts his hand on the middle of my back and just that slight touch is setting my skin on fire again, I turn and look at him, his hand feels red hot on my skin through the chiffon of my blouse but I am head to toe goose bumps, I have no bra on and my nipples instantly become erect, I am so turned on by his touch, I actually feel light headed. His eyes look all over my face, did he feel that too or did he just know that would be my reaction? He leans in and I think I might faint as I panic that he’s going to kiss me,

  “So talk to me, tell me about yourself Lauren, is that a hint of an English accent I hear?”

  I can smell him, he smells clean, sexy, citrus, musk, man, young, hot, sexy man and I really want him, on me, in me, over me, any way I can get him, I want him. I am stunned, just a few words, two drinks, or is it three and one touch and I am quite prepared to become an adulteress…something I have never been. Speak Lauren, engage your brain for Christ sake, open your mouth, form words and converse with the man, before he thinks you’re a complete idiot….England, yes England, I know about that place, I can talk about that…So I use that as the ice breaker, He has mentioned England and he will probably soon be wishing that he hadn’t, it’s one of my favourite subjects.

  I tell him about growing up in London, about moving to Australia and my trips back over to visit, he actually listens intently and asks me lots of questions, I’m impressed with his knowledge on all things English, he has even heard of Essex Girls, thanks to a certain program shown on cable in Aus, he even asks if I have been Vajazzled, of course I tell him yes!

  Then it’s my turn to ask the questions, he is not quite so forthcoming and doesn’t give too much away.

  “So Jo tells me you run a construction business, is that right?”

  “Yeah, I run it with my brothers. Keeps us busy and pays the bills”

  Okaaay, looks like that’s about as much info I will be getting on that subject…

  We chat for a while about construction, design and the state of the world economy, before moving on to hobbies, music, and sport. With every topic, he gives a little bit more of himself up, becomes less guarded, he obviously laughs at my unrelenting wit and in return he makes me laugh and I relax a little, forgetting everything other than him and our conversation. Until that is, the topic of relationships comes up, it’s not his fault, it is an innocent enough question, I just wasn’t prepared for it…

  “So, what's your ‘status’ at the moment?” he asks with a smile “Relationship wise?”

  For a horrible moment I think I’m going to cry. The alcohol and my confession to the girls earlier have bought things to the surface and I'm feeling ridiculously emotional. I swallow hard and choke back the sob that’s threatening to escape, I scratch at the back of my neck as I try to compose myself, he is watching me intently and I think he realises I am struggling before I even do. I blink a couple of times to get my thoughts straight before speaking and as I do, a lone, traitorous tear slips from my eye and down my cheek.

  “Shit, shit, I'm sorry” he says moving closer to me

  “That bad hey, that new? Sorry I didn't know, fuck, I'm sorry. I'm such a dick”

  I smile and shake my head, get a fuckin grip woman.

  “Ahhh, no really, it's not your fault, how embarrassing, it's just that it’s an ‘It’s complicated’ status and very new, in fact, I've not even left him yet”

  Why. Why the fuck did I tell him that? God I'm a mess! I look up, directly into his eyes and give the slightest of smiles, feeling very embarrassed. He leans towards me, and my stomach lurches as I wonder again what he is going to do. The whole bar and its occupants seem to vanish around us as he uses the pad of his thumb to wipe away a tear from under my eye then he puts his thumb in his mouth and sucks, never breaking ey
e contact with me.

  Oh my god, that was, possibly, one of the sexiest things I have ever seen! Was my mouth wide open again?? Unconsciously, I raise my hand to make sure my mouth is closed. It is.

  “Shit! That's not good; does he know you’re leaving him?"

  I shake my head, and another tear escapes, he wipes it away again, pulling me towards him by my hand.

  He shrugs his shoulders and says “Poor bloke. He's in for a bit of a shock then. I’m guessing he will be doing the crying when he finds out he’s losing you” He shrugs his shoulders and shakes his head “Well, I'm all ears, if you wanna talk Lauren, I may not be good at polite conversation with women, but I am a good listener to their problems, I have a sister and sister in laws, who love to share. I'll go get us another drink, while you have a think about it… I am sorry I made you cry, it's the last thing I would ever want to do” Then leaning into my ear, “unless it's out loud, during a moment of pleasure”

  WTF OMFG! Can’t think of any more but you get my point. He smells unbelievable; I’m not exactly sure what the fragrance is but it’s clean and fresh and so fucking sexy. This is too much, he is too much, not only is he as hot as a hot thing but he is actually a really nice bloke, really nice, too nice maybe? My thought are a muddled mess, is he for real or is this just a game to him, am I just a bit more of a challenge, something a bit different for his Friday night, what am I thinking, what am I doing? I'm a 45 year old married woman, I'm standing in a bar, letting a man of 35ish, hit on me and buy me dinks. A fucking hot, sex god looking man granted but even so, what am I thinking? I have never been unfaithful to my husband. I have kissed other men on only two occasions, once when he was planning on leaving me and just last year, when I had gone out with the girls the night after Jay pulled my hair and smashed my head into a wall during an argument. That was a drunken revenge pash that made me feel a lot better about myself. I had proceeded to go home to my husband and have hot, wild, drunken makeup sex with him...

  But right now, right at this moment, I can’t wait for Gabriel Wilde to make me cry out loud with pleasure, because I know, as sure as I know not to eat yellow snow, that it WILL happen.

  The band are playing a Bon Jovi song and I focus on the lyrics of You Give Love A Bad Name, rather than looking at him as I try to get my heart beat back to its normal rhythm, my palms are clammy and cold. I turn to look for my girlfriends just as Jemma pops up at my side.

  “Hey baby girl, how's it going with Mr Fuck me right now please? Jo said he's a bit of a player, just bear that in mind, and don’t do anything just out of revenge because you’re pissed off with Jason” she looks me right in the eye as she speaks. Then we both look across at Gabriel standing at the bar and the girl standing next to him, twirling her hair through her fingers, and talking to him animatedly.

  “What am I doing Jem? I should go home and try and sort my marriage out, not stand here talking to The Mornington Peninsula's shagger of the year”

  “Don’t you fucking dare” she says way too loudly, heads turn and look at us, Jemma's oblivious

  “You are going to stay right here, let him hit on you, buy you drinks, then, then you go home, remembering all the flattering bull shit that he will doubtless come up with.You remember that this God like man, boy, whore, spent the night trying to get into your knickers, then you go home and dream about all the different ways you would like him to fuck you, dream about him all night long while that bastard snores next to you, then when you wake up, you pack your bags and you get the fuck out of there and don’t look back. You’re doing no harm to anyone, just standing here talking to a friend of a friend, you have nothing to feel guilty about, remember that, it's not you that has done anything wrong! Now, we are popping out for a smoke, you coming?” she asks, I shake my head smiling.

  “Thanks Jem but I just feel like a desperate old moll, he probably thinks he's onto a sure thing, that I'll just be grateful for any attention he sends my way and that I will gladly go home with him, and do you know what Jem? I’m that sad and that fucking lonely right now, if he asked, I might actually consider it”

  “Yeah well, I don’t blame you, I mean look at him Loz, he is gorgeous and your husbands a prick, not a hard decision is it really?”

  “Jemma, you’re supposed to talk sense into me, not encourage me to cheat on my husband”

  “Lauren, think about it, go home to an arshole who throws you about in the wrong way, or go home with a super stud, who will throw you about in the right way? But I know you and I know you would never be able to sleep with him and then go home to Jay, so, leave Jay tomorrow morning and fuck the hottie tomorrow night, no problems, no guilt involved” She smiles at me.

  “Thanks for the advice, if only it was all that easy, and no I'll pass on the smoke thanks, I'm gonna drink this drink and go”

  We smile at each other and I see that look I've been dreading in her eyes, she feels sorry for me, it’s a look of pity. I force the tears back. That look right there is the reason I have never told her or anyone else what’s been going on.

  “Don’t Jem, please don’t give me that look” I shake my head.

  “Lauren, I’m sorry, I just feel so bad that I didn’t work out what was happening”

  She gives me a hug.

  “Right, I’m going for a smoke, and if going home is what you want to do, that’s fine, but please be sure that it is what you wanna do, you can come to mine, remember that. But let’s have a boogie before we go, you know that always cheers you up, then I will jump in a cab with you”

  She gives me a peck on the cheek as Gabe returns with the drinks, he hands me mine then leans back against the table grabbing my hand as he does, pulling me against him. The band is singing an old Pretenders song and he sings into my ear about imagining that he’s there when I go to sleep. Bloody hell! The feel of his breath on me, the words of the song, the smell of his after shave or is it shower wash? I don’t know it’s just his scent, all of these things make me think, if he wants to bend me over the bar right this second, I will probably do it. I seriously need to pull myself together, I am not a stupid teenager, hanging on to a bloke’s every word, so why am I acting like that’s exactly what I am? I take a deep breath and look up into his face as I put my hand over his chest, between us, intending to push myself away from him. I can feel his heart beating hard and I hesitate, just for a beat and he puts his hand over mine.

  “Can you feel that?” he asks “it's been going mad like that since you walked in here tonight, from the moment I set eyes on you, all I wanted to do is talk to you. I don't do this, you need to know that, if I'm interested in a woman I might buy her a drink, I will take her home, and I will fuck her and then I will leave. I don’t sleep over, I don’t make small talk, I don't stand around chatting and finding out what she likes, fuck Lauren, sometimes I don’t even know their names, and I don't do relationships”

  Why is he telling me this? Obviously, I have got him all wrong; he’s not such a nice bloke after all. He is in fact just another arrogant prick. Right, that's it I'm going...

  I shake my head at him...

  “So, what? Am I supposed to be impressed or grateful for that little revelation?”

  I ask sarcastically. Okay I was wrong, he is a complete dick after all! I need to leave.

  And then he laughs, is he laughing at me now? And then he smiles THAT smile. Fuck he is soooo hot, I can actually feel myself getting warm between my legs again, and I'm only looking at him. All coherent thought leaves my brain as he lifts my chin up with his index finger so we are looking directly at each other.

  “Nooooo, Lauren, shit you are like a little fire cracker, the way you keep going off. I am telling you this, because I want you to know how you are affecting me. Like I said, from the second you stepped in the door tonight, I've wanted to talk to you, and if we are being honest here, I’ve wanted to do much, much more than talk to you, from the second you walked in all I’ve wanted to do is touch and taste you but that’s another issue,
we will get around to that, eventually, I’m sure”

  WHAT?

  He tilts his head to one side and leans into my ear and whispers...

  “Don’t tell me you’re not feeling it as well Lauren” ... I can feel something, I know that much… His breath on the side of my face and neck is actually making my knees feel weak and then he tucks my hair behind my ear. OMFG! What am I going to do, I can actually feel my clit throb with each beat of my heart and I almost giggle at that thought, good job he can’t read my mind. I swallow hard.

  “I'm a married woman Gabriel, unhappily married, granted, about to leave my husband the minute I find somewhere else to live, true, but married all the same and I have NEVER EVER cheated on him, that's not me, I’m not that type of person” I'm suddenly feeling very emotional again and struggling not to cry and embarrass myself any more than I already have. He takes hold of both my hands and almost in a whisper he says to me,

  “Good, I'm glad to hear you’re not that type of person, I wouldn't be standing here telling you my feelings, if I thought for a second you were. Lauren, I know this has got to be the shittiest timing ever but I really would like to see you again, I would really like to take you out on a date or make you dinner at my place, whatever you would like. But, I also understand you have a lot of things going on right now so, when things have settled down and you are feeling ready, I really would like to catch up with you, just as friends if you like, no pressure”

  He looks down at the floor with a frown on his face; I take a sip of my drink, swallowing hard to force it down. We have chemistry, there is no doubt about that and I am finding him unbelievably sexy but there’s something, like that last sentence ‘just as friends, no pressure’ what an absolute crock of shit, he's just telling me what he thinks I want to hear. Shit, I should make my goodbyes and go back to the girls I don’t need this, my nerves don’t need this and my heart certainly doesn’t. I actually feel a bit shaky and I don't think it's from the alcohol. He looks back up at me with that smile and gives a little laugh.