Sinful Whispers (An Evans Mill Romance Book 1)
Page 7
“This is confusing, Logan,” she admitted. “And Eloise is right out there.”
“She doesn’t know what we’re doing. She’s watching unicorns and the door is closed. I do have to go to work. I’d rather spend the day with you. And her,” I added. I ran my thumb over Cassie’s lips. She nipped at it with her teeth.
I grinned. “You don’t hate me.”
“No,” she whispered. “It would be easier if I did.”
“I have a lot of ground to cover. A lot to prove.” I pressed my palm against the wall behind her head, cornering her with my body. “A lot to make up for. I know that. But I’m not going anywhere. I’m back. I want you to tell me that Eloise is mine. I don’t want to go through the paternity test. We don’t have to let this get ugly. Tell me we have a daughter. Tell me you’ll give me a second chance.”
I could feel the warmth of her breath on my cheek. I was so fucking in love with her, I couldn’t stand it. I don’t know how I left her the first time. I would never do it again.
“Yes,” she whispered. “Eloise is yours.”
I closed my eyes. “I’m a dad.”
“Yes.”
“I’m calling in late to work,” I pulled out my phone.
“You don’t need to do that,” Cassie argued.
“I do.” I held the phone to my ear. “Hey, Mark. It’s Dr. Stone. Can you move my schedule around for me this morning? Put my patients on Dr. Winters’s schedule until after lunch. Tell him I’ll stay later to help him out. Thanks, man.”
I hung up and looked at Cassie. “That’s done. I’m not leaving for a few hours.”
She smiled. “It’s not like this all just falls into place. We aren’t a couple anymore. And we can’t hook up. No sex. None. It makes it too confusing. I have to think about Eloise. Not you.”
“Can’t it be both?” I asked.
“No.”
Her voice was sharp. For now, I had to accept her stance, even though I disagreed with her in every way.
“All right. If those are your rules. No sex. For now,” I added.
“And we tell Eloise when I say we tell her.”
I nodded. “Understood.” I wanted to kiss her. I wanted to take her in my arms again. I wanted to make her come again and fuck her until we were both exhausted, but that’s what we did in college. We were parents now. It was going to be different.
I paused in front of the door. “I’m going to check on her. I’ll keep an eye on her if you have things to do.”
She eyed me suspiciously. “You can’t tell her, Logan.”
“I won’t.”
I spent the next hour on Eloise’s bedroom floor playing dolls and having princess berets styled in my hair.
I could hear Cassie around the house cleaning this or that, poking her head in from time to time. I ached to get to know every inch of this little girl in front of me. I couldn’t believe I had gone the last four years without knowing she existed. I had missed major milestones. I wouldn’t miss anymore.
Finally, I could tell she was getting tired. I had to get to the office. Caleb was going to be pissed I had saddled him with all the patients. The fever still kept her skin warm, even with the reducers.
“Are you getting tired?” I asked.
She nodded her head.
I grabbed the cup of water that Cassie left in the room.
“How about you finish drinking this, and then I can pick a book to read to you?” I suggested.
She nodded again and took the cup from me. I scanned her little shelves of books before finding one I liked. I sat down next to her on the bed and took the now empty cup from her.
In my head, I was doing my calculations. Probably wasn’t more than four ounces in there. Not nearly enough for half a day. At least it was better than nothing.
I leaned against her headboard as I read Eloise the story of Corduroy Bear. She rested against my chest to look at the pictures. I couldn’t help but wish to have this moment not just now but for forever.
Soon I felt the heavy weight that told me she had fallen asleep. I set the book aside but wasn’t ready to move. I softly stroked the length of her black hair. Softly I ran one finger down her cheek. It was still that soft, cherubic chub of a young child.
She stirred a little, so I pulled my hand away. I moved to get up and realized that Cassie was standing in the doorway.
She was staring at me with an unreadable expression. Maybe I had crossed a line for her.
“Sorry, she just fell asleep,” I said trying to move gently as I got out of her bed.
“No, it’s fine,” she said, turning away.
I could swear she wiped away a tear in the process before walking down the hall to the living room.
I followed her and found her folding laundry on the couch.
“It never ends,” she said without looking at me.
“I guess I should go,” I said rubbing the back of my neck.
“Yeah, sure,” she said looking my way for just a split second.
“Cass, what is it?” I urged as I instinctually pulled her into my arms.
I was waiting for her to yell at me. Tell me these tears were my fault. That I had left her, hurt her, and caused her so much more pain than she should have had to face over the last five years. I deserved it. That and so much more.
“What if you had died?” she finally whispered against my chest. “What if you never came home and El never got to meet you?”
“I’m here now. That’s all that matters. I won't leave again. Not you, not El. I swear. I’m here for both of you.”
She lifted her head and looked in my eyes. Searching for truth in my words. What I wouldn’t give to make her see how much I felt for her, how much I wished I had never left her.
I brushed a thumb across her cheek to remove a tear. Bringing my thumb back up, I brushed it on her lips. She parted them ever so slightly, inviting me in. It was all I needed. I took her mouth with mine. I let my hand tangle into the thick blond locks. Her arms encircled over my shoulders and around my neck. She opened her mouth to me, and I dove in greedy for her.
“Logan,” she moaned. “No sex,” she reminded me. “We agreed.”
I gripped her ass and pulled her down on the couch under me. She arched her hips up to meet the hard pressure I was giving her.
“I can’t keep my hands off you,” I admitted as I nibbled a trail down her neck and onto her shoulder.
I pulled her tank top and bra strap aside giving me better access to her shoulder and down on to her breast.
“Wait,” Cassie snapped. “I can’t do this. This isn’t about us. It’s about Eloise.”
She pushed against my shoulders, and I instantly stopped.
“I’m sorry,” I said cursing myself. I knew I needed to move slow to gain her trust back and I had just fucked it up. “I should go.”
Twelve
Cassie
For the rest of the day and into the weekend, I did my best to keep my head down, focus on Eloise, and forget about what happened on my couch and in the guestroom with Logan. It wasn’t easy when I knew how good we were together. When I remembered how he made me feel.
Eloise still didn’t seem to be getting much better, in fact, her cough started to get worse. I thought about calling Logan on Sunday but figured I was overreacting. Worse, I worried I was looking for an excuse to see him again.
He texted a few times. And each time I told him we were doing fine. I needed time to think. I needed time to cool off my panties.
On Monday, with El still running a low fever and coughing, I called into work and kept her home for one more day. I was certain we were over the worst of it, but I would rather be safe than sorry.
Eloise was going as stir crazy in the house as I was. She finally was feeling well enough to eat. Aside from her coughing fits she was back to being the regular little inquisitive girl she always was.
“But Mommy,” El whined. “I don’t want to take a nap.”
“I know you’re
feeling better honey, but you still have that cough. Resting your body will help you heal faster. Then you can be back to school tomorrow.”
Eloise loved her preschool class and teacher, and I knew using that as leverage would get her in her room.
“You don't have to sleep if you don't want to. Just lie in bed for a bit with your dolls and play.”
Eloise was reluctant, but listened.
Twenty minutes later I looked in on her to find Eloise sound asleep surrounded by dolls and sporting a princess dress. I did my best to pull the blanket over her and her massive entourage before tiptoeing back out of her room.
I stretched out on the couch and decided to flip through the channels. Before I knew it, like Eloise, I had dozed off without realizing it.
Even after all these years, after being left to raise our child alone, I still hadn’t gotten over Logan Stone. When he left, he was ready to conquer the world. He wasn’t a war hero or a doctor. He was just the guy I loved. But now? Did I know him? Did I know the man who had returned to Evans Mill?
My mind wandered to that image of Logan and Eloise lying in her bed. It was one of those picturesque moments that I wanted to remember forever.
I closed my eyes and saw it again. Logan was sitting on the bed, looking cramped in such a small space, with one arm resting behind his head. Little Eloise was peacefully sleeping with her head on his belly. She looked so safe and secure in her father’s arms.
The stupid girl inside me had always wanted Logan to come back. She hoped he would come banging down the door and sweep her off her feet. That wasn’t real life. I was an idiot to listen to that stupid girl inside my head.
But he was back, and that girl was dying to be with him. To feel him again. To give my body over to him. I rubbed my fingers over my lips trying to remember the way he kissed me.
Even if things never worked out for Logan and me, at least I could make sure Eloise had her dad in her life. If I gave him a second chance and it didn’t work out, I knew he would still be man enough to be a father to Eloise.
I was somewhat sure, too, that if I didn’t at least try to see whatever was still between Logan and me, I would regret it for the rest of my life.
Thirteen
Logan
I was hoping it was only because it was Monday, but it was turning out to be an extremely long day. I had kept my distance from Cassie and Eloise for the weekend. It wasn’t easy. Maybe one of the hardest things I’d ever considered. I ran. I had a few beers with Caleb. I took call on Sunday, which kept me close to the office.
I only saw one patient. Mrs. Klaus was worried she had pink eye. I had to convince her her eye was only red because she wouldn’t stop rubbing it. Other than that, it was a quiet weekend.
I texted Cassie at lunch to make sure Eloise was feeling better. I read her response. Damn it. Eloise wasn’t. Cassie said they were both home from school again. I planned on stopping by tonight, maybe taking them dinner.
I wasn’t exactly sure how welcome I would be after how we left things. It was easy to see that the heat was still there for the both of us, but then she had put on the breaks.
I worried I might have moved too fast too soon.
“Last patient’s yours,” Caleb said taking off his white coat and hanging it on the hook.
“Do you have plans or something tonight?” I asked surprised to see him ducking out so early.
“Might grab a beer. Want to join me?”
I shook my head. “I think I’m going to check on Cassie’s little girl.” I hadn’t told him yet I was her father. I wasn’t sure when I was ready to let anyone know. I realized I had something protective in me—a father’s instinct.
“I didn’t know she asked you over.”
I chuckled. “She didn’t.”
Caleb glanced at me. “You are playing with fire. She has a kid now. It’s not the same anymore.”
“I know.” If only he knew how different things were between us.
“Good luck, brother. I’ll see you tomorrow.”
“Have a good night. I’ll check in with Stacey and see who the last patient is.”
He shrugged. “I have no clue.” He grabbed his keys and headed out the back employee exit.
Stacey stopped me in the hall. “Dr. Stone, I had to add a patient to the schedule. She insisted she see you immediately.”
“Who is it?” I asked.
Stacey shoved the chart in my hands. “Return case.”
Before I had even flipped open the file, I turned the handle on the door. Cassie paced the room as she wrung her hands. She stopped and looked at me nervously.
“You're here,” I said surprised.
“Yes.”
She was wearing leggings and a tight tank top like she had just finished a workout. It wasn’t leaving anything to the imagination.
“Is Eloise okay?” I asked, wondering why she was here alone.
“Yes. Megan is watching her right now so I could come here.”
“Come here?” I asked leaning on the door and crossing my arms. I wanted to take her and kiss her again, but my logical side was saying give her space.
“What for?”
“I’ve been thinking about you. About El. And I think we should tell her.” Cassie let out a long breath like she had been scared.
I took a step toward her. “Tell her? About me? About what exactly?”
She couldn’t look at me. It must have taken all her courage to come here. “That you’re her father,” she sputtered. “You just have to promise me you won't up and walk out again. No matter what, once you're in, you're in for good,” Cassie pointed a finger at me.”
I couldn’t help but crack a little smile at her action.
“I mean it, Logan,” she said smiling herself as she lowered her hand.
I walked over to her then. I took her hands in mine. I wanted to be closer to her, but I had to be cautious.
“Leaving you was a mistake,” I stared at her. “The biggest fucking mistake of my life. If I could go back, I would do it differently. If it takes the rest of my life, I will make it up to you, to both of you.”
“Logan,” Cassie said letting our hands fall between us and taking a step back. “I’m talking about Eloise, not us. I don’t think that is ever going to be possible again.”
I felt my brow furrow and fall at the same time.
“Is it because of Brad?” I asked.
“No. There’s no Brad. I tried to tell you.”
I had trouble believing it. We had both broken each other’s trust. Me leaving. Her keeping Eloise a secret.
“Okay,” I said. “Then how about dinner tonight? I’ll come over and we can figure out a plan to tell Eloise together. The rest we’ll figure out as we go”
“Logan,” she said softly, not meeting my eyes.
I titled her chin up till she looked at me. I could see the glassy look of brimming tears.
“What’s wrong?” I studied her.
“I-I’m scared. This terrifies the hell out of me. Just talking about it. Look.” She held up her palm. “I’m shaking.”
I took her hand. “Baby, I won’t hurt you again, I swear. I am here for you however you want me, as long as you want me.”
I cupped her face and let her forehead rest against mine.
“I never stopped loving you,” I whispered softly. “Never.”
I felt her melt into my hands. She wrapped her arms around my neck and pushed up on her toes to kiss me again. I took our kiss deeper, plunging my tongue in her mouth. She purred as out tongues twirled. I reached backward, flipping the lock on the door.
“No interruptions,” I growled.
I curled my hands under her ass and pulled her up to wrap around my waist. She was eager. Greedy. I knew she could feel my hard erection when she rocked her hips against it.
In an instant, she was pulling my white coat off and tugging at the buttons and tie on my shirt. It only took a few seconds before she had me entirely bare-chested before her.
Cassie’s raked me over.
“You have a lot more muscles than before,” she admired as she ran a lazy finger up and down my abs. It sent a current through my body.
I hungrily went to her neck and started to kiss and nip at her skin. I sat her on the table, ready to feast on her. I squeezed her breasts.
“I want you now.” I breathed against her throat.
“Logan,” she moaned as her fingers intertwined with my hair. I could feel one set of nails scratch along my back, and I pushed my long cock harder against her.
“Logan,” she said this time with more of a warning tone. “We can’t. Not here.”
My face reached her cupped breasts, and I buried myself between them as I drove my erection against her again.
“Oh fuck,” Cassie whimpered. “Why do we always do this?” she moaned.
“Because your body was made for me.” I kissed one tit and then the other. Damn. She had perfect perky breasts. My tongue licked the hard nubs, until she begged me to stop.
“Fine,” I said quickly kissing her again. “I have about an hour more here. There’s one more patient and then I can come pick you up.”
“But I thought we were having dinner at my place.” She adjusted her tits back in her top.
“I don’t think we should waste a good babysitter while we have one. We can work out the details without worrying Eloise might hear us.”
She blushed. I couldn’t help it, I kissed her again.
“All right. I’ll see you after work,” she whispered.
I quickly buttoned my shirt and pulled my white jacket over. The tie draped around my neck with the stethoscope.
I reached behind her and opened the door. I watched her walk down the hall, stopping once to look back at me. I leaned against the door frame and enjoyed the view as she walked away
Fourteen
Cassie
The wntire way back to my house, I was a giddy school girl. I tried my best to play it cool and force myself to stop smiling before I walked in the door, but it was no use.