Is It Wrong to Try to Pick Up Girls in a Dungeon? On the Side: Sword Oratoria, Vol. 10

by Fujino Omori

  “Which one?”

  “Hmmmm…Oh, it’s no use! I can’t remember their name, even though my brain’s chock-full of gray matter…!”

  “Go to hell,” Bete spat, scanning the debris as Lena crossed her arms and groaned as she racked her brain.

  A broken statue of a goddess rolled up to his feet.

  “Ikelos Familia?” Lefiya responded quizzically.

  It’d been three days since the initial reports of a humanoid monster appearing aboveground.

  Lefiya was in a back alley in the city’s northern district, diagonally across from a chienthrope girl with light-brown skin.

  “Yeah. We only found out recently how shady that familia seems,” clarified Lulune Louie, the thief of Hermes Familia, leaning against the wall as she nodded.

  Lulune had apparently come by the home of Loki Familia in the morning, leaving the guard at the gate with a letter stating that she wanted to share some information at a certain meeting place. In addition, she had chosen Lefiya specifically because the elf could move more stealthily than most first-tier adventurers, especially reckless ones like Bete.

  At the end of the dimly lit alley, they could see storefronts and feet shuffle forward on the bright road. The reason Lulune had chosen the back alley for their secret meeting as opposed to a tavern or someplace else was because she was unbelievably busy.

  Lefiya had struggled to find the right alley for their little rendezvous, but even with that delay, the thief hadn’t betrayed expectations when she showed up later than her, exhaustion plain on her face as she’d apologized repeatedly.

  “They’re the ones handling the smuggling in Meren, which is what the Evils’ Remnants were using to raise money.”

  “Erg!”

  “And their main business was smuggling monsters…exporting them at top dollar to royals and aristocrats with odd taste. We have proof of it,” Lulune revealed.

  Lefiya let out an audible gasp before opening the parchment scroll handed to her and scanning the contents.

  Ikelos Familia, a Dungeon-crawling familia established in Orario over twenty years ago. But around the same time they reached the deep levels, all records of them clearing floors disappeared—along with the familia itself. Their name stopped appearing in the circles of the usual adventurers, to the point where Lefiya hadn’t recognized it at all. With a rank of B, they were undoubtedly one of the more powerful familias.

  “…Ngh! ‘In the past, Ikelos Familia has been suspected by the Guild of being a member of the Evils!’” Lefiya recited off the parchment with wide eyes.

  Loki Familia, Dionysus Familia, and Hermes Familia had formed a united front to chase down the underground forces of the monstrous creatures and the remnants of the Evils. It was almost certain that Ikelos Familia was to be considered a part of the enemy forces.

  Lefiya looked up after staring fixedly at the name of the familia on the investigation report. They were the ones who’d captured monsters in the Dungeon, smuggled them outside the city, and sold them. She couldn’t shake her shock and disgust at those charges, but she was more preoccupied by the circumstances that had brought it all to light.

  “This could be a stretch, but I wonder if the humanoid monster appearing in town is related to Ikelos Familia…”

  Like, maybe one of the monsters escaped when they were trying to smuggle it and made it to the outside world, thought Lefiya, connecting current events with the findings in the report.

  “Nah, that’s got nothing to do with them.”

  “Come again?”

  “Well, it’s not totally unrelated, but they weren’t the ones to blame. We don’t need to worry about that angle, at the very least.”

  “B-but…another one of them might show up…”

  “That won’t happen, either.”

  Lulune flatly rejected the possibility, leaving Lefiya visibly confused.

  She was caught up on one thing: Lulune was making it sound as if she had a firm grasp on the truth behind the incident with the humanoid monster—which meant, by extension, that Hermes Familia knew as well.

  “Anyway, we’re pouring all our resources into tracking Ikelos Familia. If you happen to run across anyone in it…or Ikelos himself, we’d appreciate you letting us know,” added Lulune with a look of pure exhaustion.

  One look at her face made it clear she was too tired to notice Lefiya’s surprise. The elf nodded noncommittally.

  The chienthrope thief started to grumble. “Honestly, Hermes should have told Loki to her face about something this important, but…at the moment, he’s spread a bit thin.”

  “Really? Lord Hermes? That’s hard to imagine…”

  “On the surface, he’s got his characteristic fake smile plastered on his face, but…he’s definitely on edge. It’s gotten bad enough that Asfi is doing as he says without complaining.”

  Lefiya hadn’t interacted with Hermes more than a handful of times, but she remembered him as an easygoing, charming god and found it tough to imagine him in such a state.

  The thief shrugged. “…Hey, I guess you’re not going to tell me anything about the harvest you reaped from Daedalus Street, right?”

  “Um…To tell you the truth, our goddess asked us not to say anything…Not until she knows what Lord Hermes is hiding.” Lefiya evaded the question.

  Loki Familia hadn’t shared their intel with Hermes Familia about the hidden base of their enemy—Knossos—or that they’d found it while searching the Labyrinth District. They didn’t plan to do so until Hermes put his own cards on the table. He kept lurking behind the scenes by himself, and Loki intended to withhold information about Knossos as a bargaining chip—or as the gods called it, a “give and take.”

  At the same time, Loki wanted to learn from Hermes what Ouranos’s true motives were, since he was connected to the Guild.

  “No, it’s fine. That’s perfectly reasonable,” Lulune replied, holding up her hands to politely stop Lefiya, who was struggling to explain her position.

  After all, we’re the ones not acting in good faith, Lulune thought, choosing not to push the matter about Knossos further, as though embodying the neutral stance of her own familia. Lulune just wanted to make sure they both understood the obligations they were under.

  “I know we should exchange information instead of haggling—I mean, we formed an alliance and all…but we’re dealing with a messy situation.”

  And this mess is far out of our control, Lulune implied as she glibly scratched her head and took on an exasperated look, which was uncharacteristic of her. The fact that she was even letting Lefiya hear her rant was due to her fatigue, no doubt.

  “We can’t talk about what we know now. If you find it suspicious and refuse to give us more intel, then it can’t be helped. Well, I guess it can, but…I wouldn’t expect you to despite all the circumstances.”

  I really want to tell you. I’d like to just get it out in the open. But I can’t say it, no matter what, Lulune silently communicated through her bearing.

  That feeling from earlier made its way back into Lefiya’s mind—this time with more force. It’s something they can’t discuss, even though it’s about something that’s tripping us both up…What could it be?

  “For now, could you let Loki know about Ikelos Familia for us?…I’m sorry that everything’s so half-baked.”

  “I-it’s fine…Um, please don’t push yourself too hard, okay?” Lefiya added.

  Lulune smiled wryly as she peeled herself from the wall and waved, disappearing down the dim alley, away from the main road.

  Lefiya turned in the other direction and stepped out into the street, where the sun beat down on the pavement.

  Enclosed by stone walls and ceiling, the room had a single magic-stone lamp for lighting and no windows. It was clearly underground, and the air was cool to the touch, chilly, even. Lining the walls were wooden shelves filled with countless bottles of wine for safekeeping.

  “…” Dionysus poured himself some wine, filling a
glass set atop a small, round table.

  Located in an underground room in the home of Dionysus Familia was Dionysus’s prided wine cellar, built by a god known as a wine snob. There were bottles and casks scattered around the room. If Loki ever saw the number of famous labels and their fine craftsmanship, she’d call it a wealth of riches without a doubt.

  But Dionysus didn’t even allow his followers to enter the wine cellar. Except for one person.

  The wine glug-glug-glugged, filling the room with its soft burbles. Then he took a seat and drained the glass in a single swig.

  The fact that Dionysus downed it in one go without letting the fragrant red wine roll across his palate, without even tasting it, had to mean he was trying to drown his worries in alcohol.

  “…Lord Dionysus, you’re drinking too much,” admonished Filvis the elf, standing at attention by his side.

  The god poured himself another glass, ignoring her warning.

  “If I don’t drink, then I can’t go on…Right?” he asked, hanging his head.

  Filvis chose not to open her mouth, saying nothing, and Dionysus held the glass up to the light fixed on the ceiling.

  “The situation remains at a standstill. We’ve failed to find any clues. There’s been no progress. I’ve sent Loki and her children on a wild-goose chase with nothing to show for it…”

  “…”

  “I’m a buffoon, an imbecile…Yet, there’s nothing to do but continue moving forward.” He continued his soliloquy, trying to convince himself.

  He gazed into the reflection on the glass mirroring his eyes of the same color.

  “That’s right. I’m Dionysus…I’ll humiliate myself and work with Loki to get my vengeance…Yes, vengeance for my children.”

  It was a side of Dionysus he would never allow Loki or the rest—or even his own familia—to see. It was a side that only Filvis knew, and even she softly averted her eyes, as if she was witnessing something she shouldn’t.

  “…Let’s go. Loki is calling us.”

  Downing the last of the wine, Dionysus got to his feet, betraying no vestiges of his previous mood and assuming a sweet mask of calm composure—and a strong will glinting in the back of his eyes.

  He retrieved his coat from the elf and departed the underground room.

  “One of Hermes’s children contacted mine, saying somethin’ about Ikelos Familia bein’ fishy.”

  “Ikelos, huh…Another annoying god takes the stage.”

  On the lawn of Twilight Manor, a few shrubs and richly colored flowers bathed in the afternoon sun. Loki had invited Dionysus and Filvis to her home and, while they sat at a table, was wrapping up a recap of the intel Lefiya had brought back.

  Loki impolitely shifted back and forth in her chair, making it creak loudly.

  “If I remember correctly, Ikelos is—”

  “Yeah, suspected of bein’ part of the Evils. Ikelos is the quintessential god who’s starved for entertainment…A guy who goes overboard to kill his boredom.”

  Lefiya was standing off to the side behind Loki, opposite Filvis, who stood on Dionysus’s side. The two followers smiled as their eyes met while the gods continued their discussion.

  “Their home has been an empty shell for a long time now, apparently. They definitely moved to a different hideout.”

  “It seems that way.”

  “…I bet he’s hiding on Daedalus Street…In Knossos, I’m sure.”

  “…”

  “I wouldn’t be surprised if they’ve got their hands on a key. If we tell Hermes about Knossos, he’ll probably find them in no time, knowing that shrewd dandy,” proposed Loki.

  “I’m against it,” Dionysus replied firmly, his glass-colored eyes not wavering in the slightest as he looked directly at her.

  Loki cracked open one of her eyes. “I think we’re past the point where we can be picky about our methods…We don’t have many leads to go on.”

  “I’ve said it before, Loki. Hermes is Ouranos’s lapdog. As long as that old god is lurking in the shadows behind him, I won’t trust him. If he can’t tell us what he’s really up to, I’ve got no intention of sitting down at the bargaining table with him.”

  Dionysus was unyielding in his resolution. After all, he’d been suspicious of the Guild, of Orario’s creator god, Ouranos, even before he interacted with Loki.

  As for Loki, she suspected Ouranos was hiding something. But…she simply couldn’t imagine how he could be connected to the plan to destroy Orario, especially if she trusted the gut reaction she felt after talking to Ouranos at Guild Headquarters.

  Loki could sense Lefiya was feeling vexed by something behind her and pushed toward the crux of the issue.

  “Aren’t you bein’ a bit too stubborn?”

  “…”

  “Why do you have a grudge against Ouranos? It’s weird. You got any real basis for it?” Loki probed.

  Dionysus opened his mouth. Filvis watched with a concerned look but knew better than to interrupt a conversation between gods.

  “Let’s see, when did it start…? The moment I first felt put off by the elder god,” he started, focusing his gaze up as if to search through his memories, staring into the sky spreading beyond the tall barriers surrounding the manor.

  “It started…when we were still in the heavens…I can’t even remember what it was anymore…Hmm, what was it?”

  He wasn’t lying or telling the truth—merely airing out a question.

  His eyes grew unfocused as he became engrossed in reminiscing about the past. As it approached sunset, the sky cast a crimson glow, and across from him, Loki looked on in silence.

  Most hadn’t realized that the humanoid monster was the opportunity that Loki Familia had been waiting for. It signaled the end of the merciless progression of time. It was the move that would send waves rippling through the current gridlock.

  It would set everything in motion.

  The prum hero felt a faint ache in his thumb.

  The goddess of jests intended to use the uproar as a foothold.

  The girl with golden hair and golden eyes renewed her determination to exterminate the monsters.

  And five days after the news of the humanoid monster broke, it was time.

  CHAPTER 2

  SOMEONE NAMED FOOL

  There wasn’t a single cloud in the sky on that day—clear and blue above the city. The weather was perfect.

  The residents of Orario believed this to be yet another one of those boringly peaceful days as they wiped the sweat off their brows. The sounds of their footsteps joined together in a ballad, playing the harmony of life in the city. The early-summer breeze was nowhere to be found, and the sun beat down on the city as if to reassert that the summer had just begun. The stone pavement absorbed its rays and gave rise to a heat haze.

  Aiz was working up a light sweat as she made her way to Central Park.

  I’ve gotta get to the eighteenth floor and seek out information one more time…

  As Loki Familia continued to sniff out more clues, Aiz oversaw the Dungeon. Until the previous day, her main mission had been the discovery and elimination of plants—pantries filled with man-eating flowers, whose existence came to light during an incident on the twenty-fourth floor. The goal was to cut off the stream of income funding Knossos, which had been through the smuggling and sale of monsters out of the Dungeon.

  In previous days, she’d inspected the pantries of every floor down to the thirtieth. Finn had judged the risk involved in illegally moving things below that level too high for them to establish plants there. Accompanied by an elite squad, Aiz had cleared any and all plants left in the Dungeon.

  Now that she’d been freed from this dangerous battle mission, she planned to stretch her legs by heading to the Under Resort.

  It was already clear that Knossos was connected to the Dungeon. They had confirmed it the other day when they found an entrance on the eastern edge of the eighteenth floor, and she intended to gather information at Rivira aft
er she rested.

  I’m curious about this humanoid beast…with wings.

  She noticed several residents whispering to one another and made out the word monster. Over the course of a few days, the initial frenzy seemed to die down, though the report of a monster had to be unsettling to the average civilian. There were a few bards with bad taste, singing merrily at bars about the chaos, which was fine and all. But she suspected this was the source of unfounded rumors of the monster appearing night after night and attacking city folk.

  This incident was relatively small in comparison to the Monsterphilia, but fear and anxiety hung in the air of the city.

  Everyone is scared of the monsters…which makes sense…since these people aren’t adventurers.

  It meant they didn’t have the means of fighting back—and there were far more defenseless people than those capable of keeping them away.

  In their eyes, monsters were fear made manifest, violence in material form. They couldn’t be allowed to take root in human residences, or else their fangs would draw blood, their claws would deliver wounds, and their roars would inspire screams of terror.

  As she stepped into Babel, Aiz wondered if there was a way to ease their fears.

  I had a late start. By now, the other adventurers should be…

  She headed one floor underground in the white tower leading to the Dungeon, descending the silver staircase into the big hole and feeling as though she were being observed by the painting of blue sky on the ceiling. It was long past rush hour, and there weren’t many people around.

  As she was making her descent with two or three other adventurers going solo, Aiz stopped dead in her tracks.

  Bell?

  There was a single person coming up the stairs in front of her.

  She recognized that wavy white hair and lithe body. They belonged to a boy she knew, a rookie who’d become a bit of a celebrity overnight, the talk of the town.

  But Aiz couldn’t be sure that it was Bell Cranell at first.

  With downcast eyes and a hunched-over posture, he looked dejected—no, he was downright dismal, as if he’d fallen into a bottomless bog. Even Aiz could read his mood, which was saying something.