Twins

by Francine Pascal

  “One of us just said I was cute,” he said, as if he’d just proved the unified theory of physics. He leaned his face dangerously close to hers again. “And it wasn’t me.”

  Gaia felt an electric current shoot down her spine as he came toward her. She made no attempts to create additional distance between his lips and her own.

  She wondered if perhaps she could just stay in this moment. The moment before a kiss. This moment cleared all the horrors from her mind and warmed her entire body, killing all the aches and pains. It was probably just her hallucinatory state, but Gaia still wasn’t convinced that Ed didn’t possess healing capabilities. His closeness seemed to reinfuse her with power. It was this purely electrical phenomenon. But it was just a little safer. As long as they were before the kiss, it was electricity that could be safely handled. Still no unwieldy shocks or dangerously high voltage that might be beyond her control.

  That was the problem. If she moved to the next moment—the actual kiss moment—she wasn’t sure she’d be able to control it anymore. If they reached that moment, she was rather sure that someone was going to end up getting shocked, big time. Electric-chair style.

  But at this distance from his lips, it was pretty much beyond her control already. Sparks were already running up and down her back. And she wanted to move to that next moment. She really could no longer stop herself from moving to that next moment….

  But another knock at the door could stop them both.

  Three hard raps to the front door turned both their heads and threw Ed back toward his stool. Gaia tried to regain her faculties after her brief journey from Earth to planet Ed.

  Ed turned quickly to her, making sure she wasn’t going to call 911 simply because someone was knocking at the door. She rolled her eyes and indicated with palms out that she was going to be cool this time… even though she was maybe a little troubled by the second round of knocking. Ed really didn’t need to know that. She didn’t want to give him any more evidence that she’d gone off the deep end.

  “It’s probably just Heather with coffee,” he said, sounding mildly agitated. He grabbed his crutches and headed for the door.

  “I’ll come with you,” she said, leaping off the stool to follow him. She hoped it had sounded nonchalant enough, even though the real plan was to sic herself on the Joshes she knew were standing behind that door.

  Ed moved quickly, but Gaia managed to pass him and take the lead. She did her best to prepare herself for battle as she turned the knob and ripped open the door.

  “Oh, thank God, you are okay!”

  Natasha stepped into the room and wrapped her arms around Gaia before she could even move. Gaia wiggled her way out of the embrace. Disgust washed over her.

  Natasha had somehow tracked Gaia down. And now she was standing in Ed’s foyer, smiling with relief. Tatiana was only a few feet behind her, staring coldly from the hallway.

  “What are you doing here?” Gaia hissed, once again seeing through Natasha’s rigid fake smile. Gaia wondered if anyone had ever been foolish enough to think that sickly sweet look in her eyes was actually sincere. It was so clearly a sugarcoated facade, masking some other totally unknown identity. Gaia didn’t want to think further on it. She just wanted her out of her sight.

  “This is the question I should be asking you,” Natasha stated, crossing her arms. Her anxiety had brought out her Russian accent even more. “You need to be home, Gaia, you know that. Your father has trusted me to take care of you. Please let me do that.”

  Gaia eyed Natasha’s faux concern. “How did you even know I was here?” she asked suspiciously.

  “Because the school office was kind enough to give me your best friend’s address, that is how. And thank goodness they did, or I would still be at home, worried that you had gone out and gotten yourself killed. Please, Gaia, I beg you not to put me through this again. I need to know that I’m taking proper care of you. Your father needs to know this, too.”

  Gaia’s eyes darted quickly to Ed’s face—permanently confused, then to Tatiana’s face—one hundred percent heartless resentment. Then she stared back into Natasha’s eyes.

  Maybe Natasha was sincere? But if that was true, then Gaia was beginning to realize just how much she’d been appreciating a parentless existence. The last thing she needed now was another fake authority figure who seemed to take on the substitute mommy role.

  “You’ve got to be kidding me,” Gaia breathed, crossing her own arms as she faced down Natasha. She asserted her power with a piercing stare. “I don’t know you—I know the guy who hands me my chili dogs at Gray’s Papaya better than I know you. The only person I know less than you… is her.” Gaia pointed her finger directly toward Tatiana’s too-elegant face.

  Tatiana stared back in silence. Natasha’s eyes drooped downward, as if Gaia’s admonishment had deflated her entire body. “Well, that is why I have brought her here,” she explained quietly. “So you can get to know her.”

  “Excuse me?” Gaia snorted.

  “Tatiana is enrolled now at the Village School,” Natasha said. “And whatever you may think of us right now, I… and she… were hoping that perhaps you might show Tatiana around the school today. To help her get acquainted.”

  Tatiana rolled her eyes and huffed. She turned to her side, looking disdainfully off into space.

  Gaia couldn’t believe her ears. “A buddy?” she asked, sneering at Natasha in disbelief. “You want me to be her school buddy?”

  Tatiana bolted for the elevator.

  “Tatiana!” her mother snapped. Gaia listened as Natasha scolded her quickly in Russian, forcing her to come back to the doorway and “try the way we’ve discussed.” Tatiana obeyed her mother, turning around and marching robotically back to her first position.

  “Please, Gaia?” Natasha asked. “My daughter has done nothing to you.”

  “Not yet,” Gaia said, looking Tatiana over again.

  Natasha stepped closer to Gaia, pleading with her eyes. “Gaia, we are family, you know. You and I… and Tatiana. We are all part of Katia’s family. For her. For your mother. Be kind.”

  Gaia stepped closer as well, making sure she had the full attention of Natasha and her totally transparent, fluttering, big brown bullshit eyes. “No” she said. “You don’t talk to me about my mother. I don’t know who you are, but you know what I do know? I know it’s not who you say you are. And I want the two of you to stay out of my life, do you understand me? Because if you don’t—”

  “Gaia, come on.” Ed grabbed Gaia’s shoulder and pulled her away from Natasha.

  “What are you doing?” Gaia snapped.

  “Come on,” Ed said, giggling uncomfortably to defuse the tension. “I mean, I don’t even know what’s going on here, but if this is just about showing her around school, I’m sure we can play nice here. I’ll show you around,” Ed said, shrugging at Tatiana.

  Natasha grinned graciously at Ed. Tatiana dropped her eyes shyly to the floor before peeking up at him. Gaia watched Ed smile back at her and felt a volcanic rumbling beginning in her stomach. Uh-uh. No way. Nooo way.

  “That’s okay, Ed,” she said, shoving Ed back a foot and pasting a deeply ironic smile over her simmering rage. “You know what? I’d be more than happy to show Tatiana the ropes.” More like the gallows.

  “There, see?” Ed joked to Tatiana. “She’s really a sweetheart once you get to know her.”

  “Oh, you bet I am,” Gaia said, firing off imaginary poison darts at Tatiana with her smile.

  “Then you’ll do it?” Natasha asked.

  “Oh, yeah, I’ll do it,” Gaia said, locking eyes with Tatiana. “Believe me, I will definitely do it.”

  So-called Lunch

  “HE WAS SO BEAUTIFUL. DID I mention how beautiful he was?”

  Heather hadn’t shut her mouth about Mr. Beautiful for the past twenty minutes, the VS cafeteria burrito tasted like dog poo in a gym sock, and if Tatiana laughed at one more of Ed’s jokes without even knowing what the h
ell he was saying… someone was going to die. It might have to be Gaia herself, but someone was going to die.

  “Yes.” Ed groaned. “I think you might have mentioned his beauty a few hundred times already.”

  “Well, he was,” Heather said, leaning her face on her fist and twiddling two carrots on her plate. “He was like a Greek god.”

  “Yeah, with a lap full of coffee,” Ed added.

  “Exactly.” Heather sighed wistfully. “And he was so—”

  “Nice,” Gaia interrupted, stabbing a fork through her so-called lunch. “He was so nice. We know.”

  “Did I mention that already?” Heather asked mindlessly.

  “I think we caught that,” Gaia muttered. Then she fell back into bitter silence, which had basically been her mode ever since they’d gotten to school. She divided her time between bitter silence and menacing stares at Tatiana, who was already shamelessly flirting with Ed. The only problem was, her silence kept forcing Ed to fill in the marathon pauses. He kept trying to keep the table talking, being the pathologically nice guy that he was. But every time he opened his mouth, he was talking to the same person. And it wasn’t Gaia.

  “So, Tatiana,” Ed said, pulling her eyes up from her lunch—three pieces of lettuce. “Why did you and your mom come to America?”

  “I would like to know this also,” Tatiana said dourly, staring back down at her lettuce.

  Another awkward pause. Good, Gaia thought. I can’t stand to listen to that wispy little voice again. I liked her so much more when she didn’t talk.

  “Would you care to elaborate?” Ed pressed amiably. Tatiana let out a small, high-pitched giggle.

  Stop flirting, Tatiana. Stop flirting or I swear to God…

  Tatiana considered the question for another moment. “I think we are here because my mother thinks that this is land of opportunity,” she said. “But I say, opportunity for what? To listen to Britney’s Spear?”

  Ed and Heather cracked up.

  “What?” Tatiana asked defensively.

  “It’s Britney Spears.” Heather giggled, like she was telling Tatiana a secret. “Not Britney’s Spear.”

  “You see?” Tatiana said, flipping back her straight, flowing hair and throwing her elegant arms upward. “These are the things young people know in this country. They know of Britney’s Spear and Christina Agamemnon, but do you know who is your secretary of agriculture?”

  Ed and Heather went dead silent.

  Ann M. Veneman. Does she think we’re all idiots? Gaia could have said something, but she was opting not to speak.

  “You see?” Tatiana said, her tone oozing with self-congratulation. “I rest in my case.”

  From dead silence to uproarious laughter again. It’s really not that funny, Gaia was dying to tell them. Even Tatiana began to smile.

  “What?” Tatiana said, giggling. “Should I not be resting in my case?” Soon she, too, was laughing. But she was never laughing with Heather. This was plain to see. Always with Ed. Only with Ed. Every single exchange at the table was addressed only to him.

  The only person at the table not laughing was Gaia. She was too busy seething.

  Stop… flirting… Tatiana.

  Was she being paranoid? Was Ed just being “nice guy Ed,” trying to bring Tatiana out, and Gaia had it all wrong? He was, after all, the only person who had been nice to Gaia her first day at this godforsaken school….

  No. No way. Gaia wasn’t a paranoid person. She never had been. She never cared enough about what anyone else was thinking to be paranoid. She had legitimate reasons to be suspicious of Tatiana. Perhaps Ed could get her to elaborate on her little black book of notes she’d been taking on Gaia or the clever little ways she tended to hide from Gaia’s view back in the girlie bedroom from hell?

  “Come on, we have some good things to offer,” Ed argued jokingly. “What about culture? Museums, opera, ballet… I bet you’re a dancer, right? You look like a ballet dancer.”

  Gaia stared at Tatiana’s ethereal, stick-thin body wrapped in formfitting Calvin Klein. Then she examined her own thick, muscular wrists. And then she looked back at Ed. “I bet you’re a dancer?” Where’d you learn that one, Ed? The Frat Boy’s Guide to Eastern European Flirting?

  “I did do some dancing,” Tatiana admitted coyly. “Among other things…”

  Stop looking at him that way.

  “Other things like what?” Ed asked.

  Enough, Ed. Gaia could feel herself nearing eruption again.

  “Oh, this is not important,” Tatiana said, so obviously begging him to inquire further.

  “No, come on,” Ed said. “What else do you do?”

  That’ll do, Ed.

  “No, you don’t want to hear about this.” Tatiana giggled.

  “No, I really do,” Ed insisted. “I’m really interested.”

  Tatiana tilted her head at Ed and smiled intimately. “You are so sweet—”

  “Enough!” Gaia howled, throwing her fork down almost hard enough to crack the plate in half. She shot out of her chair.

  Their mouths all dropped wide open. Along with the rest of the cafeteria kids’. Ed looked utterly dumbfounded. Heather actually looked scared. And Tatiana… Oh, who the hell cared how Tatiana looked? Gaia didn’t care. She knew what was going on, and she wasn’t going to put up with another second of it.

  “Gaia…?” Ed asked. “What the hell is—”

  “Don’t give me that what’s-wrong-with-you act, Ed!” She gave him a murderous glance. “Do you think I’m blind?” Gaia turned to Tatiana and leaned within striking distance. “And you—whatever you’re trying to do, it won’t work. I’m going to find out who you are. You and your mother. I’m going to find out the truth, and then we’ll see how goddamn paranoid I am!”

  Gaia slammed her chair against the table, rattling everyone’s tray, then bolted through the rusty double doors of the cafeteria, nearly ripping them off the hinges. The entire third-floor hallway seemed to be rocking from side to side like an old-fashioned steamship. Maybe that was why everyone kept bumping into her, pummeling her like she was the wide receiver and they were all going for the tackle. She felt like she was covered in bruises by the time she made it to the stairs. Finally she popped through the school’s front doors, where she could get some air.

  But it didn’t matter where she turned. Out here was no different than in there. They were still staring. Every one of them. What the hell was everybody staring at?

  ED

  Gaia isn’t Gaia-that’s for sure. I can’t even begin to understand it-her bizarro transformation. As far as I can tell, there could really only be one possible explanation.

  Drugs. Gaia Moore is on drugs. Except… she’s not. Gaia Moore doesn’t do drugs. I’m quite sure of it. So what other explanation can there be?

  And you want to know what’s really scary? I shouldn’t say this. I shouldn’t even think it. But… I’m not altogether sure I don’t like the transformation. I mean, sure, no one wants to be bitched out by a totally paranoid psychopath in the middle of the school cafeteria. But on the other side of that very ugly coin… Gaia was jealous. Demented, yes. Insane, no question. But still dementedly and insanely jealous.

  Now, I’m sorry. I know this is probably not “psychologically correct” or whatever the term might be, but am I the only one who thinks that jealousy is an indication of love? Okay, at least major like? Well, okay, infatuation, obsession, puppy-loving stalker crush, that kind of thing? I mean, her jealousy was totally paranoid and based in no reality whatsoever. I was just working my ass off to make conversation. But still, there’s a legitimate compliment in there somewhere, I think.

  The thing is… New Gaia will be incredibly affectionate and then ice-cold. She’ll be near tears and seemingly near death, and then she’ll sleep like a baby. She’ll be weirdly terrified. I’ve never seen her scared in my life. And then she’ll be completely playful, and then romantic, and then paranoid, and then enraged. And she’ll be all these thi
ngs in one twelve-hour period. New Gaia is really nothing like Gaia at all. New Gaia is like this… this… totally normal girl.

  She’s human.

  I don’t know, I just think, whatever has happened to her… If this is the new Gaia, and if I can deal with her insane psychotic emotional explosions of rage… then I think I might love her even more now than I did before.

  GAIA

  Have you ever read The Catcher in the Rye! What am I saying—of course you’ve read The Catcher in the Rye. Who hasn’t read The Catcher in the Rye? Okay, here’s my point: Could Holden Caulfield have been any more right? I don’t care if he was coming to you from the mental ward; the guy was still dead-on.

  Phonies. What a bunch of phonies people are. I don’t know why I’ve never seen it as much as I do now. Since that injection. Something about that serum has just opened my eyes.

  I sat there watching Tatiana work her whole little faux Princess Kournikova routine, and it just made me sick. All her coy giggles and those cleverly placed little malapropisms. She knew what she was doing every step of the way. Plotting and scheming. Preying on Ed’s inherent kindness. Trying to divert his attention from me. Trying to rope him in, pitiful step by pitiful step.

  I thought Heather was the master manipulator, but this girl’s shtick makes Heather look like Snow White.

  And do you know who she learned it from? Her mother, of course. Who else? That’s where all these girls get their phony training. It’s passed from generation to generation. Maybe that’s why I’m so honest. I stopped training when I was twelve. Maybe if I’d had a mother for the last five years, I’d be a ruthless manipulator just like Tatiana and her mom.

  No, I don’t think so. Not with my mom.

  And do you know what I noticed after I walked out of school? It’s everywhere you turn. Everywhere. The second anyone opens their mouth, they’re trying to get something from you, trying to pull one over on you.

  School was out of the question, so I spent the rest of the day at Grand Central Station, conducting an anthropological study. And let me tell you, the problem was running rampant. Every human transaction was just a manipulation. A smile meant someone needed something. A laugh meant someone wanted something in return. Crying meant someone craved attention. The whole place was just a swarm of schemers.