Carnage

by Lesley Jones

  I gesture to Dave that we are going to the VIP lounge and the three of us hold hands as Jimmie leads the way; we were given wristbands when we first entered the club so just walk straight into the floor to ceiling glassed off area. I spot Cam at the bar straight away and groan inwardly; I haven’t seen him once since the day I tried to help him, no contact whatsoever and yet he still has an effect on my body and I don’t know why. I love my Husband, I’m in love with my Husband and I hate myself for having this reaction to another man. I have thought about him over the years; Bailey told me that he rang my Dad the morning after he ran into Sean and me at Kings and sold him his share immediately. Further down the track he’d told me that he had bumped into him and Cam had asked how I was doing and if I was happy. That information made my heart beat faster too at the time and now here he was, tall and handsome, leaning against the bar talking to a tall red head who I think was an actress or a television presenter, I’d seen her face somewhere before anyways.

  ‘Shit G, Mr TDH is at the bar,” Jimmie squeezes my hand as she speaks.

  “Fuck,” Ash adds. “He’s still Mr TDH too; just look at him George, that man is sex on legs.”

  “Yeah, he spoke to me at the bar earlier, we got papped together, that’ll be interesting tomorrow when I try and explain to Sean why I’m all over the Sunday papers with my ex.”

  We are offered more champagne by a topless male waiter and each take one, we find a tall round table and put our drinks down on it and stand and chat. I ask about my nieces and nephews, who I can’t wait to squish and confess to the girls that I’m off the pill and that we are actively trying for a baby, they both shriek in excitement.

  “Well it’s about time,” Jimmie says. “I thought perhaps there was something wrong and you just weren’t telling us, I was going to offer you my eggs, my womb even if you needed it.”

  I’m stunned into silence; my eyes instantly fill with tears. “You’d do that for me?” I ask her.

  “Of course I would, why have you left it so long?”

  “You can have my eggs,” Ashley adds. “But fuck being pregnant again; I wouldn’t do it for myself, let alone any other fucker.”

  I laugh at Ashley’s bluntness; along with me, she’s rubbed shoulders with the worlds beautiful people, but she hadn’t changed a bit from the wild child I’d met at school fifteen years ago, even motherhood hadn’t tamed her.

  “We waited because we love our lifestyle, no disrespect to you two, but I’ve seen how hard it can be when the boys are on tour and you have to either bring the kids or arrange babysitters. Now that things aren’t so manic with the boys, I’m ready… we’re ready. We’ve got that last bit of travel bug out of our system by taking this last year off and now we’re ready to be grownups,” I smile as I speak, unable to hide my excitement at the thought of becoming a parent, at the thought of Sean holding a baby in his arms, of a brown eyed baby boy with a mop of curls, just like his Dad’s used to be. I can’t wait.

  “Well I’m really pleased for you both; you’ll both be amazing parents.” Jimmie gives me a cuddle.

  “Fuck, a little MacBaby running around the place, that’ll be one good looking kid G. I mean Maca’s smoking hot and if I didn’t like cock so much, I wouldn’t kick you out of bed either babe.”

  “Thanks Ash, I think.”

  “What the fucks a MacBaby?” Jimmie asks.

  “It’s what you get after you have unprotected sex with McCarthy.” Ashley winks.

  “And if you’re really lucky, you’ll even get a MacGasm,” She laughs as she speaks.

  “Oh I’m more than lucky girls; I’ve been having multiple MacGasms since I was fourteen. I was an underage slut.”

  “MacSlut,” Ash and Jimmie say together and we all burst into laughter.

  God, this feels so good, a girls night with my sister in laws, who also happen to be my best friends, life doesn’t get much better.

  We all clink glasses and talk about this and that for a bit longer before hitting the small dance floor as tune after tune of eighties and nineties club classics are pumped through the sound system.

  “I need to wee,” Jimmie says.

  “I’ll come too,” I add, obviously being girls, one in, all in but as we approach the ladies room in the VIP bar, we see that there’s a queue, I go back to the bar and ask the bar man if there’s a toilet nearby.

  “Here, go out of here and turn left, use the toilet in my office.” Cam holds a bunch of keys in front of my face; I turn and look at him.

  “You own this place?”

  “I do.” I simply nod, take the keys from him and call to Ash and Jimmie to follow me.

  Cam’s office, is very similar to that at the wine bar, very old fashioned, gentleman’s club looking and it smells so much like Cam; we all take turns using the bathroom and I can’t resist spraying a squirt of Cam’s aftershave onto the inside of my wrist after I find it sitting on the edge of the sink. We lock up behind us and start to head back toward the bar and that’s when I see her.

  I feel faint at first, light headed, it rolls from the tips of my toes to the top of my head, it stops me dead in my tracks I watch her as she pleads with security to let her into the VIP bar and then the light headedness is gone and I can see very clearly and think and feel even clearer, my rage doesn’t even start at red, it’s way beyond red, it’s white hot and searing and I have to get to her. I drop the keys and my bag and I think that for a few seconds, I might actually fly, I move so fast. I think that my feet actually leave the ground, and I’m on her in what seems like a second. I vaguely here Jimmie calling my name, then just a rush of air and my own heart beat in my ears. I grab her hair with my left hand and punch her with my right, she goes down onto the floor and I throw myself down on top of her, straddling her chest, I punch again and again. Then I lift her head by her hair and bang it into the ground. I don’t see her face, I don’t see anything, I don’t feel anything, but I keep punching, clawing, pulling at skin and hair continuously, until I’m pulled backward, through the air. My vision comes back first, there are club security leaning over an unconscious woman. Dave has my arm on one side, Cam on the other; Jimmie is in my face telling me to calm down. Ash is just glaring at the woman on the floor, who is now moving, she starts to try and stand and I catch sight of her face and rush toward her again. I’m screaming something, but I’ve no idea what, I land a great right hook on her jaw and she flies backward, caught by the bouncer. I’m once again dragged back in the opposite direction and pulled into Cam’s office. I scratch and spit and scream obscenities all the way. I’ve lost it. I scream at Cam to shoot her, to give me a gun so that I can shoot her, my eyes scour the desk and I spot the scissors and I make a grab for them, telling anyone that’s listening that I’m gonna cut the bitches throat. Never in my life have I felt rage like it.

  I’m pulled down into someone’s lap. It registers that it’s Cam after a few seconds, I can smell him, I stop fighting and try to calm my breathing, there’s still a commotion going on around me, doors opening and closing, people talking.

  “I need to get her out of here,” I hear Dave say. “The fuckin’ press are gonna be all over this.”

  “Is there a back door?” I hear Jimmie ask.

  “Where is she, have you kicked her out? Cos if George ain’t killed her, I fucking will!” Go Ash!

  “Let’s just sit tight for a minute, I don’t know what state she’s in and this one still needs to calm down.”

  I hear a door open and someone says, “She’s saying she wants the Police called boss, what dya want me to do?”

  “For fuck’s sake,” Cam says quietly.

  “Where is she?”

  “One of the barmaids is with her in the staff room.”

  “Keep her there, I’ll go down and talk to her, see if I can change her mind.” It’s all quiet for a few minutes.

  “If I let you go, do you promise not to go psycho on me again Kitten?” I nod and open my eyes, they slam into his, looking dow
n at me. He has a slight smile on his face.

  “You’re a fucking mad woman Georgia, dya know that? I’ve never seen a girl punch like that.”

  “That’s what happens when you’re taught to fight by three big brothers,” I reply, shakily.

  He loosens his grip around me and I turn and look at everyone in the room, Jimmie is sitting on the edge of Cam’s desk shaking her head at me, Ash is sitting on the leather sofa.

  “Feel better George? I know I fucking do, that bitch had it coming, if you hadn’t of chinned her, I fucking woulda. Mind you, I didn’t recognise her, she looks about fifty. I’ve only seen the pictures from when she went to the papers but I swear she looked dog rough compared to then.”

  I look at Dave who’s on his phone and does not look happy. “Do none of your husband’s ever answer their phones?”

  Sean always answers his phone, before I can speak Jimmie says, “Len always answers, no matter what time it is, in case it’s an emergency with me or one of the kids.”

  “Marley never picks up, he’s a fucking nightmare,” Ash complains.

  “Please don’t ring them.” I look pleadingly at Dave. “It’s the middle of the night, Sean will just go off on one and so will Len.”

  “Georgia, if you’re about to get nicked, I have to call him, he will have my balls if I don’t.”

  “She won’t get nicked, I’ll sort it. Who’s this bird anyway, what did she do to piss you off so much?” Cam asks.

  “Whorely,” we all reply together. Ash had never met her, but she knew the name.

  “She accused my Husband and brother of rape, and then told my Mum a bunch of crap that kept me and Sean apart for four years.” Sadness is the only word I can use to describe the look that washes over Cam’s face.

  I slide to my feet as he stands. “Wait in here, I’ll get rid of her, then you can leave out of the back doors.

  Twenty minutes later he’s back. “Fuck Georgia, her face is a mess.”

  “George didn’t do that, that’s how she looks anyway, ugly cunt,” Ashley pipes up and we all laugh, except Cam, who cringes at Ashley’s use of the C word.

  “I’ve convinced her to leave the Police out of it, and I’ve offered her a lifetime VIP access to the club, but I have a feeling she’ll be billing you for a new nose.”

  I shrug. “Well she can go fuck herself; she’s getting nothing out of me.”

  “Kitten,” Cam says quietly. Dave shifts on his feet, obviously not comfortable with Cam’s term of endearment.

  “Right, well, I’ll go and pull the motor round the back, you girls come down when you’re ready. Cheers Cam, thanks for sorting this out, I’m sure Frank or Bailey will be in touch.” He nods his head in Cam’s direction.

  “You tell my Dad or Bailey about this and I will slap you Dave,” I tell him.

  “Georgia, love, you did it in front of a fuckin’ audience darlin’, subtlety has never been a strength of yours. I don’t think I’ll need to tell anyone about this, the Sunday papers will do that for me. That’s why it’ll be best if you get hold of Maca and tell him yourself.”

  Fuck. Shit. Bollocks. “Yeah, yeah, I’ll ring him; he can ring the label, or speak to the lawyers, whoever, see if they can do some damage control.”

  I’m probably going to cause Sean all sorts of problems with my actions, but I don’t regret it. I actually understand in that moment, the rage Cam must have felt when he shot that man in the pub car park in front of me, if I had a gun on me tonight, I could’ve quiet easily shot that bitch. I may have regretted it later, but only because of the trouble it would’ve gotten me in.

  I’m not sure if it’s the drugs, drink or adrenalin in my system but I can’t help but feel a little bit of resentment toward Sean, this all started with him and if he has to clean up my mess and the repercussions of my actions tonight, then so be it. I suffered for years because of his stupid irresponsible actions.

  “Say it was me, I don’t give a fuck,” Ash adds, bringing me back into the room I just shake my head at her.

  Dave leaves and five minutes later, we make to leave, the girls say goodbye to Cam and thank him. I go to give him a hug when he says, “Can you give me a minute Georgia, and I’ll walk you down in a sec. I just want a word?”

  I make eye contact with the girls and nod. “I’ll be down in a minute.”

  They leave and I’m left alone with Cam and my pounding heart, he bought me an ice pack for my aching knuckles earlier, bitch had a hard jaw, and I adjust it over the pain in my right hand.

  “Despite the circumstances, it’s been really good to see you Kitten.” I smile at him.

  “You too Cam.” He takes the ice pack off of me and puts it on his desk, next to where he’s leaning; he takes my hand and kisses my knuckles.

  “Angry Kitten, you really need to learn to control that temper baby.” My heart skips a beat at his words, at the sensation of his lips on my skin and I know it’s time to leave.

  “If he hadn’t have come back, would it have been me, would you have stayed with me?” I pull my hand from his and shake my head.

  “I’m not doing this Cam; it was ten years ago, I’m married, I’m with Sean.”

  “But I still affect you don’t I? There’s still something there, I feel it and you’re lying if you say you don’t.” He’s stating facts, not asking questions.

  “It doesn’t matter what I feel, I’m married to Sean. I love Sean. Thanks Cam, thanks for everything tonight, I’m sorry if it’s caused any trouble for the club and I’m sorry for the past, I have to go.” I reach out for the door handle.

  “Did you love me Kitten, even a little bit?” I don’t hesitate with my answer.

  “Yes Tiger and I think I still do.” I pull the door open and jump when it’s slammed shut from behind me.

  He pulls me around by my shoulder and his mouth is instantly on mine, his tongue seeking out, and then almost attacking mine. His hands are over me, they slide up my hips, over my waist, they cup my breasts and I offer no resistance to any of it. I just stand with my arms at my sides at first, then they are up and in his hair, grabbing, pulling him away, he starts pulling my dress up my legs and I stop pulling his mouth away from me and instead start pushing it toward me. My dress is suddenly up around my waist and Cam’s grinding into me, I’m grinding back, he bites down on my nipple, hard, viciously almost, through the silk of my dress. I undo the zip of his trousers and reach inside, he’s hot, throbbing and huge; he doesn’t use his fingers on me first, he doesn’t need to, I’m soaking wet already. He pulls my knickers to the side and rams into me. I cry out in pain, and… in absolute pleasure. He lifts me off the floor with each thrust, my head bangs back against the door, on just the fourth thrust I feel my orgasm start to grip me and everything begins to tighten.

  “Fuck, Kitten, look at me, fucking look at me.” I stare straight into his eyes as we fuck, hard, nasty, dirty, adulterously fuck against Cam’s office door. “Come, come with me, now Kitten, come.” He rams roughly into me a few more times, my legs now wrapped around him, I grind back, once, twice and explode. I make a noise that’s not quite a scream, not quite a sob, not quite a moan but a mixture of all three. Cam comes, spurting hot inside me, with tears in his eyes, I drop my legs to the floor, move away from him and pull down my dress and stand and stare at him, panting.

  “Oh God, oh God, what have I done, what have I done?” I sob. I grab my bag and leave but he’s right behind me, tucking himself in.

  “This way… this way Georgia.” He pulls me roughly by the arm, back toward the emergency exit sign, he pulls me down a flight of stairs, then stops in front of a door “Let me have your number, we need to talk.”

  “No, no number, we don’t need to talk, not about this, not ever, it should never have happened.”

  “You fucking love me Kitten, you know you do.” His hand rakes through his long dark hair, he must be in his forties now but he’s still so handsome, still so very alpha male.

  “I know that, I f
ucking know that, but it makes no difference, I’m with Sean, I love Sean. This was a mistake that will never happen again. Stay away from me Cam, do not try to contact me, just stay away.”

  Once again I’ve caused that defeated look on his face, I push past him and outside to the Range Rover, where Dave and the girls are waiting, I slam the door behind me.

  “Let’s go.” I call out. We drive back to the penthouse in silence, the loudest silence I have ever heard in my life.

  CHAPTER 23

  Dave drops us off in front of the building and comes up in the lift, seeing us in; he heads home once we are safely delivered but reminds us that he’s on 24 hour call if we need him for anything.

  Jim and Ash haven’t said a word to me all the way home and I’m shitting myself that they know what I did with Cam. I need to get into the shower, I smell of sex, dirty, filthy, adulterous, guilty sex and I smell of Cam and I need to wash him away.

  “I’m going to shower,” I tell the girls.

  “George, wait, we need to talk to you,” Jimmie calls out. I turn and finally look at the pair of them.

  “What’s wrong?” I ask as nonchalantly as possible.

  “George, I’m really worried, Lens still not answering his phone, even Milo’s not answering.”

  “Stop panicking,” Ash jumps in. “They’re probably drunk in some French bar or something and just can’t hear their phones.”

  My stomach does a nervous back flip, the last time I couldn’t get hold of Sean, was the night Haley had made her accusations. Haley the fucking whore, my fists clenched at the thought of that slut, despite venting my rage on her earlier, there was still so much more damage that I’d like to inflict, if Cam hadn’t been there to stop me.

  Cam, the enormity of what I did starts to hit me. I swallow down the bile with my tears, which Jimmie mistakes for worry over the boys. I am worried, of course I am, chances are, Ash is probably bang on with where they are and what they are doing and I have absolutely no right to feel angry at what they might be getting up to.

  “Ash is probably right Jim, it’s nearly morning now, they have an early flight home anyway and the planes landing at City airport so they’ll be here after lunch, let me have a shower and then we’ll make some more calls. We’ll call the hotel and wake them up if we have to, serves them right for not answering their mobiles.”