Spirit of the Wolves

by Dorothy Hearst

  I lowered my nose to him. He smelled of coming death. I wanted to comfort him, but the fierceness in his gaze stopped me.

  “Are you human or raven?” I asked him.

  “I am Nejakilakin,” he clacked at me. “Before that I was the raven king. I have stayed alive as long as I could so the new Neja can take over. Do not waste my effort.”

  “I won’t,” I said.

  He struggled to his feet, panted hard, and flew a few wolflengths from us. Then he fell and did not rise again.

  “Can you do that?” I whispered to Tlitoo. “Can you become human?”

  “I do not know,” he said. “I have never heard of any raven who could.” He gently prodded the old raven’s body. “But he was very old and I am very young. You have met him before, wolf.”

  “Hzralzu,” I said. He was the ancient raven who had hunted with Navdru when he was a youngwolf, and who had stood with Indru when I’d met him in the Inejalun nearly a moon before. I didn’t understand how a raven could be human and bird at the same time. I didn’t understand how he could have lived since the time of Indru only to die in the flames of DavRian’s fire.

  His words had shaken me from my self-pity. I looked at Prannan and Amma and buried my nose in their fur one more time. They were not badly burned, but looked as if they had suffocated, as creatures did in a fire. They had died for the Promise. RalZun had died, and HesMi and so many others. If I gave up now, their deaths would have been for nothing. DavRian would win. I got angry, and my head cleared. I would not just roll over like a curl-tail and give up. I would fight DavRian until there was no more breath in me. The humans were slow. Perhaps I could get to Laan village before they did.

  “How far is it to Laan?” I asked Tlitoo.

  “It is just beyond the field where the Sentinels killed the streckwolves,” Tlitoo answered, his eyes agleam.

  “Let’s go,” I said.

  An hour’s lope later, past charred woods and creatures burned so badly I could not tell what kind of beast they were, we reached the end of the fire’s path. I found a stream and drank deeply. Then I sank my head into it, allowing the water to run into my eyes and out of my nose, clearing away the burned scents. My nose began to pick up the scents of life: a family of mice skittering behind me, a grouse picking its way to the water. My mother’s scent was there, too, less than an hour old. All around us, the creatures that had not been killed began to stir. I heard the buzzing of insects, then the hesitant steps of the grouse. I snapped up a small fish from the stream, swallowing it whole. My stomach came to life and I began stalking the grouse. It was as fire-weary as I was and didn’t smell me coming. I pounced on it, making a clean kill and devouring it so quickly that I had to stand still for a moment to keep it in my belly.

  Feeling revived, I set out again. In the woods beyond the grassless field where the streckwolves had died, I found the village of Laan. Nestled in a clearing in an elm wood, it was smaller than Kaar, but still larger than TaLi’s village in the Wide Valley. I hid for a moment in the wood surrounding it, watching the village from behind a juniper. A stocky dark-furred male seemed to be their leader. When I saw him standing alone near a shelter, I began to creep toward him.

  Then I heard DavRian’s voice, and IniMin’s. They called out a greeting as they approached Laan. I cringed. I had hoped to get to the villagers of Laan before they did.

  IniMin led a tired group of humans into Laan. There were perhaps twenty of them, all that was left of the village of Kaar. From the way the others followed behind him and waited for him to speak first, it was clear they saw him as their leader now that HesMi was gone. DavRian stood just to his right, his head held high.

  The humans of Laan came forward, and the stocky male greeted IniMin.

  “I’m sorry for the loss of your village,” he said. “Is this all of you who survived?”

  “As far as we know,” IniMin answered.

  The stocky male narrowed his eyes. “How did your lands come to burn?” he demanded.

  IniMin nodded to DavRian, who stepped forward.

  “It was the wolves,” he said.

  I listened as they told their lies about us, saying that we had poisoned everyone in the village except for the few who had escaped, and that they had set fire to the place we were hiding to keep us from killing them all. DavRian said that he had set only a small fire, but that we had taken their fire branches ourselves and spread the flames throughout the lands in revenge. He also said that TaLi and RalZun had encouraged us to do so, that we weren’t smart enough to think of it on our own, and that the krianans who favored wolves were as dangerous as we were. He said that they had tainted us and we had tainted them. The humans of Laan muttered to one another in fear.

  “They believe him,” I whispered to Tlitoo.

  “You should know by now they will believe anything that feeds their fear, wolf,” he answered.

  Leaves rustled behind me and I smelled the welcome scent of dusk sage.

  “Their fear overwhelms their reason every time.”

  I couldn’t hold back a yip of joy as Neesa lay down next to me. Her paw print by the river and her scent at the stream had told me that she’d survived the fire, but that wasn’t the same as seeing her safe and alive. I had lost Prannan and Amma, and had failed in Kaar. But I still had my mother. Six moons ago, I would not have believed I would ever lie at her side. I rested against her, smelling smoke and worry. She lay her head down atop my back and then began to wash the fur between my shoulders as if I were a smallpup.

  “I found your scent,” she said, “but I had to see for myself that you were alive.”

  “For now,” I couldn’t help saying. “The Sentinels will kill me if they find me.”

  “They will. Navdru and Yildra are alive, though Lallna did not survive. Navdru has given the order that you and your packmates are to be killed on sight. He announced it to the entire pack as soon as the fire stopped burning.”

  “And the humans won’t accept TaLi as krianan. DavRian told them she’s as dangerous as we are.” I forced the image of Lallna’s face, and of her courage in the face of rhino and Greatwolf alike, from my mind. I would mourn her later.

  “Get your humans, Kaala. I will try to convince the Greatwolves to let you leave these lands. Don’t follow me,” she ordered. “I will find you once I’ve spoken to them.”

  Before I could answer, before I could tell her not to put herself at risk, she stood and bolted into the woods. I couldn’t help but fear I wouldn’t see her again.

  I watched the humans a little longer. DavRian and IniMin squatted next to the leader of Laan, whispering to him while the rest of the survivors from Kaar huddled with other villagers. They would spread their lies and there was nothing I could do about it.

  “Come on, wolf,” Tlitoo said.

  I backed away and into the woods, and started toward the cave.

  If the humans of Laan believed DavRian, they would give up the ways of the true krianans. The Greatwolves were looking for us and would kill us when they found us. Neesa might be able to convince them to let us go, and to spare those of my blood back in the Wide Valley. If she couldn’t, I had to find a way to keep what was left of my pack safe. Tlitoo flew just above me. “Now what, wolflet,” he quorked.

  I had no idea, except that I wasn’t ready to give up. I tried to think like a leaderwolf. I couldn’t change what had already happened, but that didn’t mean I had no options. If it wasn’t safe for us and our humans in Sentinel lands, we could find a place to hide until we figured out what to do, and we could send word to Rissa and Ruuqo to join us before the Sentinels got to them. Pleased to have at least some sort of plan, I loped toward a small hill on the plain. I began to climb it so I could get a better view of the lands beyond Sentinel territory.

  “Be careful, wolf! The rocks are not solid.”

  At Tlitoo’s warning, I looked down to see the loose rocks beneath my paws. I didn’t know how I’d made it so far up the hill without noticing.
/>
  I tried to step carefully, but when I set my left forepaw down on a rock, it slipped out from under me. I stuck out my right forepaw to try to stop myself from falling, but the rocks beneath me gave way and I tumbled down the hill. I scrabbled, trying to get my paws under me as Tlitoo squawked above my head. I wasn’t so far up that the fall would kill me or even injure me badly. I was more concerned about someone’s hearing my clumsy descent.

  I landed hard at the base of the hill, the force of the fall knocking the air from my lungs. I lay there for a moment, dazed.

  “Move, wolf!” Tlitoo screeched. I tried to get to my feet, certain he had seen humans or Greatwolves coming. Then a rock hit me on the side and another on the leg. I looked up to see the hillside coming down on me. Rock after rock pelted down, some hitting me, some barely missing. I tried to dodge out of the way but couldn’t escape them. Then, just as the onslaught slowed, a large boulder right at the base of the hill toppled over, trapping my right hind leg beneath it.

  I pulled hard, but my leg didn’t budge. I twisted around to shove at the rock with my forelegs and succeeded only in pulling a muscle along my ribs. I dug my forepaws into the soft earth at the base of the hill and tried to drag my leg from beneath the boulder. It settled, pinning me even more securely. Tlitoo stood a few rocks away, swiveling his head from side to side. He hopped to peer at the boulder that pinned me and quorked in concern.

  “It is too heavy. It would take too many ravens to lift it. I will go back for your humans.”

  We were still far from the Hill Rock, but I couldn’t think of any other way to get free. If DavRian or IniMin or any of the Sentinels found me, they would kill me where I lay.

  Then I heard unfamiliar human voices, and they were getting closer.

  “Stay here!” I ordered Tlitoo. Panic made my voice shake. DavRian had stalked the woods near Kaar looking for wolves to kill. I remembered the torn throats of the Greatwolves and could almost feel DavRian’s spear slicing through my haunch. I whimpered.

  “I hear them, wolf.” He stood protectively above me. I pulled my leg as hard as I could, using every bit of my strength, and I felt the rock move, just a little. Encouraged, I pulled hard again, and then again. The rock shifted and fell back again, sending a new deluge of rocks down on me. I squealed in pain as they crushed the lower part of my body. I tried to be quiet, but I hurt too much and couldn’t keep from whining.

  The human footsteps drew near. Now I did force myself to be quiet, and tried to press myself into the rocks, hoping they wouldn’t see me. Tlitoo hunched in front of me.

  “It came from somewhere over here,” a male human said. “I heard it whimper.”

  They rounded the hillside and one of them stared right at me. Three others, two male and one female, stopped and stared, too.

  “It’s trapped,” one of the males said. There was sympathy, not anger or hatred, in his voice. He smelled like curiosity and, just a bit, of yearning. He tentatively came forward and removed a rock from the pile that immobilized me. Tlitoo, seeing what he was doing, hopped aside, quorking curiously.

  I lifted my head and the human jumped back, his face rigid, his scent infused with anxiety. I lowered my ears and licked my muzzle. I don’t know why I did so. The humans were probably thinking about the best way to kill me once they freed me.

  “It wants you to help it,” one of them said.

  They looked at me silently and I looked back. I expected them to pick up more stones and throw them at me, but they just watched me. They kept their distance, sharpsticks raised.

  The male who had removed the first rock took another one off me. Then another. Tlitoo warbled encouragement to him. Each time he moved a rock, he leapt back as if I would pounce on him, even though I couldn’t move.

  His fear was so real, so intense, that I wished I could talk to him, tell him he was safe. I made my eyes soft and whuffed gently. He cried out and jumped back again. I remembered the stories that DavRian told. That we killed indiscriminately, that we wanted nothing more than human blood. That our mouths were full of poison. I realized how much courage it took the human to try to help me. He wasn’t young either, he was a male halfway through his life, the kind that was usually the most distrustful of us, and he wasn’t helping me for his own gain. I wasn’t bringing him prey or protecting him or any of the other things that the humans valued about us. He wanted to help me. He was behaving as if he couldn’t bear to see me in pain. It was almost as if he thought of me as a human pup.

  Finally, rock by rock, he had all but freed me. Just the one large rock was left. He started to lift it and I tried to pull my leg out. As soon as I moved, he jumped away, letting the rock fall again. I yelped in pain.

  “It’s just scared,” the female said. “It wants you to help it. It won’t hurt you.”

  The male moved forward again and tried to lift the rock, but several smaller rocks held it down. He could have moved it more easily if he’d leaned close to me, but he was afraid to do so. He bent over at an awkward angle, one foot on each side of the rocks above me. He wedged a thick wooden stick in between the rocks and heaved, to no avail. Then another human, walking a wide circle around me as if I might suddenly leap to my paws, jumped up next to him. Together, they leaned on the stick and the rock lifted.

  The instant I pulled my leg out from under the rock, the humans ran. I bolted in the other direction into the sparse woods, dragging my sore leg behind me. I stopped when I reached the cover of the trees and looked back. Tlitoo settled next to me. The humans were watching the bushes that hid me. Their expressive faces showed relief but also happiness, pleasure in what they had done. They smelled of contentment, like TaLi did when I lay next to her in the sun.

  I’d always thought that there were just good humans who liked us, and bad ones who feared the world around them. It wasn’t true. I had sensed that these humans wanted to help, wanted to like me but were afraid. The frightened male had freed me in spite of his fear.

  They walked away, looking over their shoulders at the spot where I had run into the forest. I wanted to go out and thank them but I was worried that their fear of me might turn them vicious. The humans settled beyond the rock fall and built one of their fires. It was still light out, but they settled around their fire and took out food.

  I watched them as they sat around their fire, relaxing and eating their meal. For the first time I really wondered what it would be like to be so alone. Even when we killed prey or fought other hunters, we knew we shared the world with them, and that we were part of the Balance. The humans were beginning to forget that.

  Except when they were with us. Some, like TaLi or JaliMin, welcomed us as part of their packs without question. They could accept us as we were. But others, like the human who had freed me, were afraid of us. Yet they still yearned for us, for the connection to us.

  I remembered the way the humans had been with the streckwolves, both in the village from the past and on the plain, before the Sentinels killed them. I’d been so envious, and so furious that the streckwolves might take the humans from us, that I hadn’t really thought about what it meant. The humans wanted us to be pack, but they feared us too much to keep us near. They didn’t fear the streckwolves. They loved them without fear. And if the humans could love them—those little wolves so close to wild and yet not truly so—maybe they could learn to love other, wilder things, to love the wildness all around them.

  The Greatwolves said the streckwolves were our death, but they’d been wrong before.

  Perhaps Gaanin and his pack were our way in. If the humans trusted the streckwolves and came to love them, perhaps they could one day accept us, too.

  Gaanin had twice tried to tell me something, and I’d refused to listen. If he was alive and I could find him before the Sentinel wolves found me, we might still have a chance.

  Tlitoo ran his beak through my headfur.

  “I am glad you are all right, wolf,” he said.

  I told him my thoughts about the streck
wolves and the humans.

  “It might not be too late,” I said.

  “Of course it isn’t, dimwolf,” he said.

  I waited until dark so that I could leave unseen, then set off for the Hill Rock to get Ázzuen, listening as long as I could to the contented murmuring of the humans.

  25

  Twice on my way back to the cave, I saw the moonlit shapes of Greatwolves prowling in the distance. Both times, I hid until they were long gone. My mother had said she would try to reason with them, but they were not reasonable creatures. By the time I reached the cave, it was nearly light, and I was as jumpy as an elk among longfangs. I had to get to the streckwolves before the Sentinels found me.

  TaLi’s ankle had swollen and turned dark. She sat inside the cave, leaning against one of its rocky walls and scowling at BreLan.

  “I’m coming, too,” she growled.

  Ázzuen greeted me with a quick touch of his nose to my muzzle. My skittering heart calmed just a little at his touch.

  “BreLan’s been to Kaar,” he said. “Now he wants to see if anyone survived and went to Laan.” Ázzuen sounded worried for his human. “Tlitoo and Jlela are here, too, roosting in the back of the cave.”

  Tlitoo, impatient as always, had flown on ahead of me. As quickly as I could, I told Ázzuen about DavRian’s lies and about the humans who had rescued me. When I told him of my plan, his ears twitched.

  “Yes,” he said. “It might work. If we can convince both Gaanin and the Sentinels.” He didn’t sound particularly confident. “We can at least try.”

  TaLi rubbed her ankle impatiently. “If HesMi’s there, I need to talk to her,” she insisted, peering out of the cave. She didn’t know the human leader was dead, and I couldn’t tell her.

  I went to the girl and sat beside her. She stroked my fur.

  “If she is, I’ll come back to get you,” BreLan answered, “but we need to know if DavRian’s been there and what he’s told them. I promise to come back as soon as I know what’s happening.”