Secrets & Surrender

by L. G. Castillo

  Wait. I think those sounds are words.

  “Bianca told me how smart you are with math and everything. And algebra is way harder than it was in high school. And I really don’t have anyone who can help me. I’ve been so busy trying to study, I haven’t been able to make any friends. And I don’t really know anyone around here. And I left Nic a few messages to see if you two wanted to hang out or maybe go tubing down the San Marcos River. Did you know they had tubes for that? I didn’t. Anyhoo, I guess you two have been really busy because he hasn’t returned my calls. And now you’re here. How cool is that?”

  I gazed into her way too happy baby blue eyes. Why did she have to look all innocent like that? It really looked like she wanted to be friends. Well, I wasn’t going to fall for it. She had to have some type of hidden agenda. No one was that nice.

  “Yeah, it’s cool,” I said, trying to keep the skeptical tone out of my voice. “Come on, let’s get started.”

  In about ten seconds, I was going to kill Kristie Stanton.

  The girl was driving me ape-shit. She was totally clueless. Okay, so maybe that was a little mean. But really, I had no idea how the girl had graduated from high school.

  We’d been working on the same algebra problem for an hour! The same one! For some reason, she couldn’t get it. Her tiny face would scrunch up, looking at me like I was speaking a foreign language. Maybe the weight of all her hair and that big bow on her head was preventing brain synapses from firing or something because for someone who went to one of the best private school’s in the country, she didn’t have a clue about basic algebraic properties.

  “Look, Kristie,” I threw down my pencil in frustration, “I don’t know how else to explain it to you.”

  “I’m sorry, Mandi. I’m trying. Really, I am.”

  I fought back the guilt that flashed through me when wet blue eyes met mine. She wanted me to feel bad. Yeah, that’s right. It was all an act. It had to be. She was totally bogus.

  “You know what your problem is, Kristie?”

  “What?”

  She looked at me with wide eyes, like I was about to reveal the secret to algebra or something. I so wanted to tell her off, to tell her that her problem was that she was being fake and was only here to get her perfectly manicured claws into Nic. Yeah, I was going to tell her off and give her a piece of my mind.

  “You’re in the wrong section. I heard that Professor Thompson gets off on flunking over half his students at midterm.”

  Way to tell Kristie off. Even worse, I’d actually given her a tip to help her out.

  “You could switch sections. Professor Hall’s class is way easier, and he even gives extra credit for watching movies based on anything remotely related to math.”

  “No, I want to stay in Professor Thompson’s class.”

  Whoa! That was so not the answer I was expecting.

  “You’re kidding, right? I mean, why make it so hard on yourself. It’s just one class. Besides, you’re majoring in elementary education. You just need the basics.”

  “I don’t want just the basics.” Her voice shook as her cheeks reddened. “I know I’m slow, but I can do it. I want to do it. I’m tired of being treated like I don’t know anything. For once, I want to be good at something. Look at you! You’re here on a scholarship because you’re smart. Did you know Poppy had to pay SWT to take me? Do you know how embarrassing that is?”

  “Poppy?”

  “My father.” She sniffed. “And Mumsy didn’t even want me to come to tutoring. She said not to bother since I’ll only be here for one semester, two at the most. She says I’m here for my M-R-S not a B.S. and that I should have fun instead of studying all the time. I want more than that, Mandi. I want to be an elementary school teacher. I want to teach little girls that they’re smart and that they can be anything they want to be when they grow up. I know I can do this. I just need a little help. Or maybe a lot of help. But I can do this. I know I can.”

  “I didn’t know.” I watched as she pulled a tissue out of her polka dot covered purse, feeling a little bit of admiration for her. She really did want to make a difference. It wasn’t an act. She was the real thing. I hated to admit it, but I could see why Nic liked her. Beneath all the hair was a girl struggling to be taken seriously. I knew exactly how she felt. I guess I was lucky to have my parents and Nic. She was alone. And I’d taken away the one true friend she had on campus.

  Shimmering baby blue eyes gazed back at me, waiting for my help, wanting a friend.

  Aww, man. Don’t do it. Look away and stick to your job.

  I glanced down, fiddling with the algebra book. The girl’s family was loaded. They could hire her a private tutor.

  My head whipped back up. That’s why she’s here. They weren’t supporting her at all. This was all she had.

  “Okay, I’ll help you. I know you can get this. It’ll just take some more time.”

  “Really? You’ll still tutor me?” Her face beamed.

  Ugh! I couldn’t believe what I was about to do.

  “Of course. Let’s meet again tomorrow, okay?”

  “Oh, thank you, thank you, thank you!” She threw her arms around me. “I’ll work really hard. I promise. I’ll do whatever readings or exercises you think will help.”

  My arms flailed, not knowing whether to hug or pat her. “Uh, I know you will.”

  “It feels so good to finally have a friend on campus.”

  Great. Now I was her friend. Of course, I didn’t make it any better with the next thing that popped out of my mouth.

  “I’m going over to the music building to meet up with Nic. He should be finishing up his guitar lessons about now. Wanna come? We could go to the café or something and hang out.”

  Her eyes widened. “Really?”

  Tell her “no” damn it!

  “Um, yes?”

  Crap!

  “Yay! Okay, but I’m buying. Let’s go to Gil’s Broiler. I’ve heard they bake the best Manske rolls.”

  Kristie continued jabbering as she gathered her things. As we walked out the door, she hooked her arm through mine the way Cassie used to. I shook my head, wondering how in the world I’d gotten into this mess. And here I was, leading a perky redhead straight to Nic.

  chapter 21

  Mandi

  Kristie took bouncing to a whole new level.

  When I had first arrived on campus, I had expected to get the strange looks I always got when I was in a new place that wasn’t used to seeing a brown face. I had survived Koppe High, so I’d assumed SWT would be a breeze. I got a few nasty looks from some of the girls dressed in their sorority t-shirts whenever I was with Nic. It was obvious that they wanted him, and they hated it when he didn’t give any of them a second glance. He was polite when they said “hi,” but other than that, he acted as if they weren’t even there.

  Walking with Kristie across the quad to the music building, her every step bubbling with excitement, caught almost every guy’s attention. There were a few wolf whistles when we passed a group of frat guys wearing their maroon polo shirts emblazoned with their fraternity’s letters. Kristie didn’t seem to notice or hear them as she prattled on and on about the latest episode of Dallas, one of her favorite TV shows.

  One frat guy, who had popped up the collar of his polo shirt, slid his sunglasses down his nose. He licked his lips as he stared at Kristie.

  I followed his gaze and balked.

  Crazy girl wasn’t wearing a bra!

  Kristie’s girls were bouncing so much I was expecting them to detach any minute now and roll down the quad.

  “Um, Kristie, maybe we should slow down.”

  “Why?”

  “I think you forgot something.”

  “What?”

  I placed myself in front of her. Holding her gaze, I flicked down to her chest and then back up again.

  Her eyes grew into saucers. “You can tell?”

  “The entire quad can tell.” My eyes darted to the group of frat
boys still staring at her.

  “Why don’t you take a picture, polo boy? It’ll last longer,” I snapped, giving him my best evil eye.

  Stunned, he turned his attention to a group of sorority girls passing by.

  Moron. I didn’t know why I was taking up for Kristie. There was just something about her that pulled out all my protective instincts.

  “Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh my God! How embarrassing.” She hugged her books to her chest and rushed toward the music building.

  “Seriously, Kristie? You can’t tell me you didn’t notice people staring and all the catcalls.” I dashed after her.

  “I thought they were doing that to you. You’re so gorgeous.” She gazed at me with innocent eyes.

  That’s just fantabulous. Now I was actually starting to like her.

  “Well, damn, Kristie. Why don’t you have the girls under wraps or something?”

  “I did, but the strap broke and I didn’t have time to run back to the dorm and change. And then you asked me to hang out, and I didn’t want to say no, especially now that we’re going to be friends. Oh my God! Now you probably think I’m one of those girls who flaunts her goodies for attention. I’m not like that, Mandi. Really, I’m not. Please don’t stop being my friend.”

  “I don’t think that.” I had so thought that. “We’ll stop by your dorm so you can change okay?”

  She beamed. “I’m so relieved. You don’t know how hard it is for me to make friends. Real friends. Except for Bianca and Nic, I really don’t have anyone to talk to. I’m so excited that—oh, my!”

  “Hey!” I crashed into a frozen Kristie. Her books dropped to the ground and her arms fell to her side. “Are you alright?”

  She didn’t make a sound. Her mouth was frozen in the shape of a tiny red-lipped “O.” I waved my hand in front of her face. “Hello? Anyone in there?”

  Great. I broke her.

  “I meant what I said, Kristie. I still want to be friends with you. And don’t worry about the bra thing. Those things happen. I’m sure—”

  There are moments in your life that you’ll never forget. It always seemed those moments happened when you least expected it. They came at you like a whirlwind, sweeping you away from a life you’d carefully built for yourself, a comfortable life, a life where everything and everyone was exactly where you wanted them to be. Then someone would come along and shatter everything you thought you already knew.

  And that someone sat at the entrance of the music building, playing a guitar.

  “Who is that?” I barely heard Kristie’s question as I watched the guitarist’s body sway as he played. His body was hunched over the guitar and swayed to the beat; shaggy dark hair hid most of his face.

  Stop staring. Why are you staring?

  I couldn’t stop. I kept telling myself that I was in awe of the way his fingers flew over the strings and not the way his muscular arms caressed the curve of the guitar. And the tingling I felt was obviously because of the hauntingly beautiful music and not how his crisp unbuttoned white shirt exposed a tanned chest with every movement he made.

  “That was wonderful,” Kristie squealed, clapping wildly when he strummed the last note. “What’s the name of that song?”

  I sucked in a breath when the guitarist lifted his head. He paused, his eyes slowly drinking her in. Then his lips twitched as if holding back a laugh. For some reason, that irritated the hell out of me. It was as if he was laughing at her.

  “It’s just a little something I wrote for my music composition class.”

  Kristie seemed to melt with each word that came out of his mouth.

  “It was wonderful,” she breathed. “Wasn’t it, Mandi?”

  He glanced in my direction, his dark eyes widening. Something within me stirred. It was a feeling I hadn’t felt in a long time, not since the day I’d met Nic. I didn’t like it. Not. At. All.

  I hated everything about this jerk: the way he was ogling me, the way dark stubble peppered his ruggedly handsome face, the way his tattoo peaked out of a rolled up sleeve, and I especially hated the way his perfectly shaped lips curled into a sexy smirk.

  “Mandi?” Sexy Jerk laughed. “That’s not a name. What’s your real name?”

  I scowled. “Excuse you? Mandi is my name.”

  “My name’s Kristie Stanton,” Kristie chimed in, holding out her hand. “And it’s real.”

  “Figures,” Sexy Jerk muttered under his breath.

  What was his problem?

  He placed his guitar in its case before he flashed another annoyingly sexy smile and shook her hand. “I'm Julian Fuentes. Tal vez me puedas decir el nombre de tu amiga?”

  “Uh.” Her face reddened. She obviously didn’t understand that Sexy Jerk was asking her for my name. “No hablo muy bien español.”

  His lips twitched again. Then he turned to me. “Y tu? Entiendes Español? O no eres Latina?

  “Of course I am,” I fumed. How dare he assume that I didn’t know Spanish or that I wasn’t a real Latina because of what I chose to call myself!

  He smirked. If he didn’t stop that, I was going to snatch the guitar out of the case and beat him over the head with it. And what was with all the staring? Stop looking at me.

  “Well, Mandi, there’s a MEChA orientation for first year students tonight if you want to come. There’ll be lots of food and music.”

  “Ooh, sounds like fun,” Kristie said. “What’s MEChA?”

  “Movimiento Estudiantil Chicana/Chicano de Aztlan,” he said as his hands swept over his hair, gathering it back and tying it with a piece of leather. His annoyingly huge muscles flexed when he did that.

  “Aslan? Like in the lion in The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe?”

  Julian laughed, shaking his head.

  I gritted my teeth. He was totally pissing me off.

  “It’s a student group for Latino students,” I explained to her before turning to Julian, ready to snap his head off. “And what makes you think I’m a first year?”

  He stood, and I had to tilt my head up he was so tall. My heart slammed against my chest as he closed the distance between us. He was way too close for comfort. “There aren’t many Latino students on campus—in case you haven’t noticed. Muchos Americanos como tu amigo aquí.”

  I balked. I was about to give him a piece of my mind when Nic come out of the building.

  “Mandi! You’ve met my guitar teacher, Julian.” Nic swept me into his arms, giving me a slow kiss. “Miss me?”

  After all the times I’d been with Nic, public displays of affection were never a problem for me. So why was I hyperaware of Julian’s stares. And why did I care? I didn’t. The man was just annoying and the sooner I got away from him the better.

  “Every second.” I stroked Nic’s cheek, gazing deeply into his amber eyes. I fought against the sudden awareness of what he was wearing and how he was the total opposite of Julian: the white Izod polo shirt, the pale green sweater over his shoulders with the sleeves tied around his neck, and the Ralph Lauren khakis.

  I groaned. Nic was in full preppie mode today.

  “Oh, hey, Kristie.” Nic looked at me, puzzled.

  “You’ll never guess who my first tutoring customer was today,” I said.

  “Really?”

  “Mandi is an awesome tutor, Nic. We’re all going to Gil’s. My treat. You’re invited too, Julian,” Kristie said.

  “Yeah. Come with us.” Nic kissed the top of my head, obviously relived that I was okay with the presence of his childhood friend.

  I could see the wheels turning in Nic’s head as he looked from Kristie to Julian. If Nic wasn’t such a guy, I’d swear he was planning to hook up Kristie and Julian. It was obvious that Kristie had a crush on Julian. It was also obvious that Julian had no interest in Kristie.

  A small voice inside me worried that Nic didn’t see where Julian’s attention was placed.

  “Maybe some other time,” Julian said as he busied himself, packing up his things. “So, Nic, this
is the girl from Koppe you’ve been talking about?”

  “You bet. This is my Mandi.”

  “Mandi is short for . . . ?”

  “Manuela. Manuela Florentina Ruiz. Isn’t she gorgeous? Didn’t I tell you she looks like your tattoo?”

  “Ooh, a tattoo. I want to see,” Kristie said.

  I don’t.

  “Show them,” Nic said.

  I groaned. Not you too. The last thing I wanted to see was more of Julian’s muscles.

  “It’s a tattoo of an Aztec princess.” He rolled up his shirtsleeve and held out his arm. His dark eyes held mine as he waited for my reaction.

  “Oh my! She does look like you, Mandi.” Kristie traced a finger over the feathered headdress the Aztec princess wore. “It’s stunning.”

  I pretended not to care as I threw the tattoo a glance, but deep inside, my stomach was doing flip flops.

  Stupid stomach.

  “Yeah, whatever.” I shrugged. “Well, we don’t want to keep you from your meeting. Come on, Nic.”

  “Feel free to drop by tonight. If you can’t, we meet every Wednesday in Evans Auditorium. We’re putting together a talent show to raise funds for the local high school. We could always use some volunteers. You don’t have to be a member. Our organization mentors the kids.” He made it a point to look directly at Kristie when he mentioned mentoring.

  That stinker. I knew what he was up to. He thought that by getting her to come, he would get me to join too. Well, that wasn’t going to work on me.

  “Mandi’s brother is in high school,” Nic said.

  “What’s his name?”

  I wanted to wipe the smirk off Julian’s face. Why couldn’t Nic see that Julian was getting all his intel from him and Kristie.

  “Juan,” I muttered. The man was not getting any more from me. I don’t care how rude it looked.

  “Juan Ruiz?” His face lit up. Aww, hell. I didn’t like where this was going.

  “I’m his assigned mentor. What a small world.”

  Too small. What was it with this guy? And why doesn’t he stop staring?

  “I’d love to help,” Kristie chimed in.