Hidden Depths

by Ally Rose

  ‘Never you mind who told me!’ Lotte exclaimed. ‘I’m just sorry you had to wait so long.’

  ‘Can you remember any more details about what happened that night?’ Julia asked.

  ‘I get flashes,’ Lotte began. ‘I get so angry when I think about it. A Torgau boy took my life away from me. All those stolen years.’

  Julia squeezed her sister’s hand. ‘I hate him too, but you know what goes through my mind? He wanted to kill you but at the last moment he changed his mind and dressed you to keep you warm until the dog walker found you the next morning.’

  ‘Well, he obviously wasn’t normal, attacking me in the first place. If he was here in the room with me, I’d know his voice and remember the athletic way he moved,’ Lotte recalled suddenly. ‘He insisted I dance for him and got quite a kick out of it. I remember he charged at me like a bull.’

  ‘You’ve got to tell the police all this,’ Julia urged. ‘With modern forensics and psychology they can catch criminals for past crimes from all sorts of clues.’

  Lotte was fearful. ‘No! They’ll rake up the past. What’s done is done.’

  ‘Oh, Lotte, don’t be so silly. You’re not on trial just because you worked at some youth prison in East Germany. It was attempted murder. He tried to kill you! And if he told you he’d killed before then he’s a serial killer and has to be caught.’

  ‘OK, OK, I’ll talk to the police,’ Lotte conceded. ‘I don’t suppose I’ll find peace of mind until he’s brought to justice.’

  ‘Good. I’ll pop out and speak to Jonas – I mean Dr Roth,’ said Julia, trying to conceal her feelings for her sister’s doctor. ‘I won’t be long.’

  Jonas Roth was in his office. The door was ajar and he sat up when Julia popped her head around the corner. ‘Frau Kessler. Do come in and take a seat.’

  Julia sat down. ‘My sister is finally willing to talk to the police.’

  Jonas smiled. ‘Good. Well, then, I’ll arrange things.’

  ‘Thank you. I don’t think this is going to be easy and I’m afraid the press will make life very difficult for me and my family. I’ve seen reporters sniffing around at the hospital entrance, asking if it’s true about the Lady of the Lake waking up.’

  ‘Frau Kessler, my staff are sworn to secrecy.’

  ‘I trust you but when all this gets out, it’ll be all over the news.’

  ‘I understand your concerns but I think it’s the right thing to do. All this can’t stay a secret for too long. Lotte’s a victim and the criminal must be caught, or at least the police given the information that will give them a chance to catch him.’

  Julia nodded. ‘You’re right. My sister’s a victim and she needs to tell her story.’

  Chapter Nineteen: The Psychologist

  HANNE DRAIS PUSHED HER hand through her short, cropped fair hair. The style gave her a fresh, impish look for a woman of 36. She stretched out her long arms, releasing the tension in her back. She thought about getting out of her trouser suit – her usual choice of work clothes – and back into her preferred casual wear of jeans or jog pants, sweatshirt and T-shirt. She was looking forward to doing her back exercises once she got home, it usually did the trick after a long day at work. She had just decided to call it a day and head home when there was a knock on her office door.

  A whiff of cigar smoke blew into the room heralding the appearance of Detective Chief Inspector Oskar Kruger, who popped his head around the door. ‘You off?’ her boss asked.

  ‘Just about, Audrey will be home from school soon and she’s cooking me dinner,’ Hanne replied.

  Kruger smiled. He had a rugged, lived-in face for a man approaching 50 and a greying stubble to hide the pockmarks of youth. The white shirt that his wife of 30 years had pressed for him that morning looked crumpled.

  ‘Drais, give your daughter a call and tell her to have a meal waiting for you in the next hour or so. I need you for about half an hour, tops.’

  Hanne looked at her daughter’s photo on her desk. ‘I feel like a bad mother. I hardly ever cook for Audrey.’

  ‘She wants to be a chef like her father, doesn’t she?’ Kruger stated.

  Hanne nodded. ‘Her father lets her help out in the restaurant where he works, but she’s 16 in a few months. You’ve got kids, you know they change their minds all the time.’

  ‘Can’t remember, my kids left home years ago,’ Kruger said. ‘You’re not much of a cook anyway.’

  ‘That’s true. I’ll text her, she hates me calling when she’s with her friends,’ Hanne said, picking up her mobile phone. ‘So, what can’t wait?’

  ‘I’ve just been assigned a new case. You’re going to love this one. You remember the “Lady of the Lake” assault, back in 1992? I just got a call to reopen the case. She’s woken up! Fucking miracle, eh, Drais?’

  ‘Good God!’

  ‘The family are keen not to create a media circus but you know the press, they’ll have a field day once we release an official statement. The “Lady” in question, Lotte Holler, woke up on New Year’s Eve. She’s all there mentally and it’s as if nothing has happened. She’s been having intensive physiotherapy and psychotherapy at St Engel’s hospital in Templehof to cope with her new life.’

  ‘So you’re opening the cold case file and opening a new investigation?’

  ‘Damn right we are, Drais. The doctor we’re liaising with said Lotte Holler heard loud music – some song the nurses were playing – and woke up, freaking out at the music.’

  Hanne was curious. ‘What was the song?’

  Kruger looked at his notes and laughed as he read aloud. ‘God, I hate opera. It was the Toreador song from the opera Carmen.’

  Hanne ventured. ‘This music must have great significance or trauma attachment deep in her psyche.’

  ‘Well, you’re the criminal psychologist, you should know.’

  ‘Has she got any family?’

  ‘A sister. Apparently she’s devoted to Lotte.’

  Hanne’s mobile chimed and she read her daughter’s text. ‘I’ll need to talk to both sisters. Let me have the doctor’s contact details and get me a copy of the cold case file and I’ll do a preliminary profile of the assailant,’ she said. ‘OK, I’m out of here… Audrey’s cooking won’t wait.’

  Hanne took her bicycle from the police yard and set off through the snowy Berlin streets along the city’s cycle paths adjacent to the gritted roads. She was into keeping fit. When she had turned 30, she’d decided the years of smoking, not enough exercise and fast food were taking their toll on her tall, lean frame. Her new fitness regime coincided with the break up of her long-term relationship with her girlfriend, Claudia. In the past, Hanne had lacked energy and vitality but when she turned to yoga, walking, swimming and cycling it gave her a new lease of life. She fitted her new fitness regime around Audrey and juggled them both with her work as a criminal psychologist.

  Neu Kolln was about half an hour cycle from police HQ. It was one of the most run-down areas in Berlin but rents were cheap and this made it fashionable for artists who had moved into the area. The gay community was at its largest here alongside neighbouring Kreuzberg as well as being home to Berlin’s largest Turkish quarter and a wonderful array of Turkish food and delights.

  Hanne had lived in this area since the fall of the Wall, when many buildings were empty and abandoned, squatting with groups of political females whilst attending Berlin’s prestigious Humboldt University. As a young and socially conscious woman, similar to the rest of the group who married men without papers to assist their entry into Germany, Hanne wed a short, dark and handsome Chilean refugee called Rafael Solares but kept her own name.

  At this point in her life Hanne was discovering her sexuality and when Rafael moved in with her at the squat they put up a united but false front as ‘husband’ and ‘wife’ for the authorities. A brief fling produced Audrey, and then Hanne met Claudia and fell in love. Rafael continued to see his daughter on a regular basis and after three years and an
amicable divorce, met his future wife, a German woman his own height. This time he married for love. Once Hanne received her psychology degree she began her police training and moved with Claudia, who worked as a nurse, and baby Audrey, into a three-bedroom flat over looking the River Spree.

  Three years ago, though, Claudia had moved out, ending their 13-year relationship. She quickly met a new girlfriend and moved in with her, keeping in touch with Hanne intermittently, more for Audrey’s sake than her own. Hanne was devastated at the split and Audrey had mourned the loss of her second mother.

  Hanne arrived home to the smell of ginger and spring onions wafting through the flat. Audrey was in the kitchen. A much shorter version of Hanne, she took her height from her father’s side, although mother and daughter were similar facially. Both had fair hair but Audrey had exotic hazel eyes in contrast to Hanne’s blue ones.

  Audrey was a fashion-conscious, self-assured and independent teenager who knew her own mind. Sometimes she seemed more grown up than her mother, possibly because of Hanne’s estranged relations with her own mother, Traudl. Though Hanne had a degree in criminal psychology, it was easier to work out other people and their motives than fathom her own relationships. Audrey understood her mother’s complex personality and they got on reasonably well, both playing to each other’s strengths and nurturing one another.

  Hanne greeted her daughter with a kiss. ‘Something smells good.’

  ‘It’s chicken in spring onion and ginger sauce, with coconut rice.’

  ‘Fab!’ Hanne said with enthusiasm. ‘Did you have a good day in school?’

  ‘I’ve got a new maths teacher, Herr Lankwitz. He seems friendly enough.’

  ‘Being friendly with the students isn’t always a good thing. Is he a good teacher?’

  Audrey shrugged her shoulders. ‘Dunno. He’s offering after-school maths classes.’

  ‘Sounds as if he wants to make a good impression for his head teacher. I think you should go.’

  ‘Mutti! Are you saying I’m rubbish at maths?’

  ‘Audrey Solares Drais, your maths is about as good as my cooking!’

  Later that evening mother and daughter sat on the sofa, nestled close to one another after watching Wallander , one of their favourite programmes, when Audrey brought up the touchy subject of Claudia.

  ‘Claudia phoned today,’ Audrey began, watching her mother’s face showing signs of discomfort. ‘She’s got a spare ticket for the Banda Aceh relief concert at the Olympic stadium next week. Every German band or singer you can think of, past and present, will be there and Claudia wondered if I’d like to go.’

  Hanne sat up. ‘Really? Then you must go.’

  ‘Mutti,’ Audrey began. ‘I know you still like her but it has been three years. Claudia has moved on.’

  Hanne sighed. ‘Easier said than done. I wanted to be with Claudia for the rest of my life, then one day she woke up, took a look at me and didn’t like what she saw. Said she didn’t love me, said she’d made a mistake. How do you think that felt after 13 years? How can I ever trust anyone else again?’

  Audrey delivered some tough love. ‘You’ve got to! Mutti, stop feeling sorry for yourself. Claudia hurt me too by leaving.’

  ‘Well, you’re obviously better at forgiving than me,’ Hanne said.

  ‘I’m not as stubborn as you or Oma. You two won’t forgive each other for past mistakes and I have to tiptoe around the pair of you whenever we get together.’

  Hanne laughed. ‘My mother and I enjoy arguing!’

  ‘I know it’s easy for me to say but there’s plenty of people out there who’ve been hurt yet still go looking for love. Why can’t you?’

  ‘Hey! Who’s the adult here?’

  ‘I wonder that myself,’ Audrey said, pouting her mouth in mock disapproval at her mother. ‘Mutti, when was the last time you went on a date?’

  ‘Cheeky! I had a few dates last year but it’s all too much bother. I’ve got you, a few friends, my work and I’m into keeping fit,’ Hanne told her.

  ‘I won’t always be here, living with you. I don’t want you to be lonely.’

  Hanne put her arms around Audrey. ‘Thank you, sweetheart, you’ve a wise head on young shoulders, but don’t worry about me. If you must know, my friend Karin has arranged a blind date for me next weekend. A group of us are going to see “Kill Bill, Two” at the cinema, followed by a meal.’

  Audrey’s face lit up. ‘That’s great.’

  ‘Her name is Brigitte, and I’m probably not her type.’

  ‘Mutti, you’re beautiful. Promise me you’ll leave Claudia’s ghost well hidden before you meet Brigitte,’ Audrey told her mother. ‘Even if she’s not your type, give her a chance – she could grow on you. Now, I’m off to bed. Don’t sit and wallow too long.’

  Audrey kissed and hugged her mother goodnight. Hanne thought how lucky she was to have such a lovely daughter: bright, sensitive, and full of insight. And feisty, just like all the women in the Drais family.

  Hanne went into the kitchen and started on the pile of washing up. Covering the walls were framed collages of photos from various stages of Hanne’s and Audrey’s lives. She perused the photos, trying not to be over sentimental and her attention was drawn to the photo taken on the night the Berlin wall came down. Hanne called this her ‘banana’ photo. Four people in a time capsule: Audrey, her beautiful baby, a younger, punky version of Claudia, herself – and the boy in the photo, holding a banana, wasn’t he called Jens? He was a funny little thing, she remembered, with his wig and scarred ears. ‘I wonder what happened to him?’ she asked herself.

  Chapter Twenty: Birthday Surprises

  AT THE END OF JANUARY, 2005, Felix Baum celebrated his 30th birthday with his friends and family at their golf club. He was no longer Felix Waltz: he had changed his name to Baum when he was 21 after inheriting his Oma’s house in Motzen. Felix lived there with his wife Martha and their two-year-old daughter, Peonie. The past decade had been kind to the former Torgau boy. Felix had a happy marriage and enjoyed fatherhood, and the profits from the golf club and the lake had made him and his family comfortable beyond their dreams.

  Now in their early 50s and semi-retired, Onkel Klaus and Tante Ingrid remained fairly active. They were happy to oversee the management side of their business and enjoy the profits, along with Onkel Bernd, who was still the Mayor in nearby Zossen. Axel was now a bright young man of 15 with long fair hair, who outside school hours enjoyed helping wherever he could, working alongside his Onkel Felix who was now the manager of the family enterprise.

  These days Felix sported short, fair hair just long enough to cover the small but visible scars on his ears. He had married Martha once she’d finished her law degree. They took a gap year and backpacked their way around Britain, Europe, the USA and Australasia. On their return, Martha got a job as a junior lawyer in a large, Berlin law practice and commuted daily from Motzen.

  Felix, Axel, Klaus and Bernd shared a love of golf and as well as playing together liked to take annual trips to prestigious golfing events: the British Open, the US Masters and Open and – the one they enjoyed the most – the bi-annual Ryder cup between Europe and the US. These trips served to strengthen their close bonds.

  Peonie had been due to be born in late September 2002, around the same time as the Ryder Cup Golf tournament was due to be played in England at The Belfry. This tournament had been cancelled in 2001 after the attacks on the World Trade Centre and the tournament had switched to even years. It had been a three-year wait for their anticipated trip and Martha insisted Felix went with Axel, Klaus and Bernd, as it wasn’t far to travel home should she go into labour. They felt the break was worthwhile especially after seeing their fellow German, Bernard Langer, win his singles match, and Europe won the Ryder cup by three points. Felix returned home and his daughter, overdue, was born a few weeks later on 11th October.

  Peonie Angele Sofie Baum was the image of her mother, a beautiful, energetic and happy child. All the adults
fussed over her and she was a source of great pride and joy to her family. Klaus and Ingrid were helpful, first-time grandparents and Ingrid caught glimpses of her beloved sister Sofie’s smile when Peonie laughed.

  Dr Jens Wissemann had recently retired and Martha’s mother, Angele, took the role of looking after her first grandchild when her daughter eventually returned to work. Angele drove down daily from Kopenick to look after Peonie, sometimes accompanied by Jens. Their son Friedrich had married a local girl, Heike, and lived close by Jens and Angele in Kopenick. They were expecting their first child in the summer and Jens and Angele would be in demand as babysitters.

  Felix awoke on his 30th birthday morning to his wife bringing him breakfast in bed.

  ‘Thank you, sweetheart,’ he said, smiling broadly and putting the breakfast tray aside to kiss Martha and pull her into his arms. Felix never wanted their kisses to stop and often it turned amorous but sometimes they were interrupted by the patter of tiny feet.

  ‘Papa!’ Peonie squealed, rushing in and jumping on the bed, separating the lovers.

  Felix listened to his wife and daughter singing ‘Happy Birthday’ to him before applauding them. ‘Thank you, my darlings,’ he said.

  Martha pulled a bag from under the bed filled with presents. ‘I was thinking, what do you give the man who has everything? Hopefully, I’ve come up with a few surprises. Peonie helped me wrap them, didn’t you sweetie?’

  Felix kissed his daughter. ‘What a lovely surprise. I wonder how many more surprises I’ll have today?’ he asked, looking at his wife.

  ‘Who knows?’ Martha replied and her eyes held a mischievous glint.

  It was a change for Felix to lie in bed. He was usually up at the crack of dawn, but today was his birthday and a Sunday and he was taking the day off. He had not forgotten about his twin sister in any of the many celebrations he’d experienced since her death and wondered how different life would have been if Susi were alive and sharing this birthday with him. He was in good health and had a good life. He loved his family and felt lucky to have a loving wife and daughter, and then there was Axel. He loved his nephew in a different way to Klaus and Ingrid, and the bond Felix shared with Axel had remained special.