My Cousin Wendy

by Al Sloane

  Joe had been through this before. "We don't have to go that far. But most women find it almost as embarrassing." He stuck a finger in a hole I hadn't noticed in the platform and lifted up a door about a foot square. He pulled out a contraption that could only be made for a woman.

  It had a plastic hose that went into a container that looked like it could hold several gallons. The end he pulled out had something like a funnel. The usual funnel will sit flat on a table. This one was curved so it would fit fairly snuggly over a woman's pee apparatus.

  Wendy looked at it and backed away. Joe smiled. He opened another door and pulled out a short stool and a large towel. He put the stool down and looked at Wendy.

  "Welcome to my Ladies Room."

  Wendy made me and Joe get on the other side of the balloon. Beth and Kathi held up the towel as Wendy took off her shorts and panties. She sat on the edge of the stool and June handed her the business end of the "potty." Embarrassed as she was, I think it was worse when all of us could hear the trickle of piss hitting the container. It grew in volume as she got into it. She must have peed a minute or more. When she was finally done, Kathi said "Damn."

  June pulled a couple of Kleenex out of her purse and gave them to Wendy to wipe herself off. I said "Damn, what else have you got in that bag?"

  "Wouldn't you like to know."

  Wendy got dressed while June held the funnel between two fingers, an arm's length away, over the edge of the basket.

  The girls finally dropped the towel. Joe took the funnel and asked If anybody else needed to go. All three of them backed away from him and shook their heads.

  Joe put the funnel in it's spot and closed the door. The stool and towel went next. There was no evidence of the incident when he was done. I wondered if the helper on the ground got to take care of the pee bucket.

  My father loved to tell us a story of his honeymoon. My grandfather had a brother named Bill who lived in Maryland. I realized when I was about 18 or so that my parents' anniversary was four months prior to my birthday. I'm sure they didn't plan on getting married, much less a honeymoon.

  Anyway, they went down to Maryland and met Bill and his wife. I don't know if he'd ever seen his uncle before. I never met the man and I have an idea he and my grandfather didn't get along. He had another brother he just tolerated. I never met Bill.

  So, they get to Bill's place and my father is sick. I guess it was the flu. He spent the first few days of his honeymoon in bed, alone, making frequent trips to the bathroom. Mom may have slept in the bed but I doubt they did anything else. After about three days he felt good enough to get out of bed and do something.

  Bill had a crab boat. He did some serious crabbing. I'm not sure if that's how he made his living but I got the impression he made some decent money selling what he caught. He would lay out traps, big cages actually. They sat on the bottom, had ropes attached to them and buoys at the other end of the rope. My uncle went out every day and just lifted them up. The sides would seal with the bottom and whatever was inside got a free ride to the surface.

  The three of them went out together. I guess Bill pulled up the traps and emptied the crabs into a holding tank of some kind, then re-set the traps. Anyway, they rowed back to shore and Bill took off. Mom and Dad were in the boat and rowed out into the water. They were somewhere within sight of the shore when my father discovered that his diarrhea had not totally disappeared. I guess it was a case of so near yet so far. There was no time to row into the shore and make it up to the bathroom, outhouse, whatever they had.

  Dad dropped trou and sat over the edge of the boat. One of the crabs got out and started crawling along the bottom of the boat, its claws out front, snapping, heading directly at Mom. She screamed. A short time later, here come Bill and his wife, running as fast as they can down to the shore to see what the emergency is. Dad was in the middle of emptying his bowels.

  The crab was eventually put back where he belonged and Dad got his pants on. That's the most exciting thing that ever happened to them that I ever heard about.

  I told the story and it seemed to make things easier for Wendy. The girls laughed when I told it. I shouldn't have been surprised when Wendy said she heard her uncle tell it when she was a kid.

  Joe enjoyed the story too. He said "I don't have any crab but I did bring some lunch. Is anybody hungry?"

  Everyone agreed we were. I was surprised. I didn't realize the day included lunch.

  Joe opened one of the compartments he'd opened before and pulled out four stools. He opened another and got a couple more, then opened a huge Thermos container. He had KFC chicken, potato salad, fresh grapes, watermelon, apples and oranges and sodas. We even got red and white checkered cloth napkins, big enough to use as bibs.

  I asked Wendy if she was sure she wanted a soda and she stuck out her tongue.

  "Don't be pissed off if you have to use the funnel again."

  She piled into her food again and I put my hand on her leg. "Slow down. It'll still be there. I don't want you getting heartburn again."

  By 12:30 everything was put back and everybody was pleasantly full. June and I got to know Joe while the girls oohhed and aahhed at the sights. He owned the balloon and went out on rides every Saturday and Sunday he could book tours. There were about ten of them that had formed a co-op to give rides. They paid into a kitty that handled the rental of the land, yellow page and internet and any other ads and the guy who helped out on the ground. He had the choice of emptying his own pee bucket or paying the helper extra to do it for him. He gave us several cards with his own name and phone number on them as well as the co-op's information. He had to pay his monthly dues whether he got riders or not if he wanted to continue giving rides. It was too costly to do it all by himself. He'd been doing it for over two years, longer than anyone else but one guy. He had a good group of satisfied customers who gave out a lot of referrals and some who came back again and again. I had to admit it was the perfect way to escape the big city madness.

  It was 2:30 when we got back on the ground. There were some hands clenching the rail tightly until all four ropes were secure. The girls each hugged and kissed Joe on the cheek as they got off. I'd paid for the trip with a credit card but had gotten a lot more value than he charged me for. I gave him an extra fifty. He promised me a deal the next time, I told him I'd get a deal if he just gave me his normal price with the level of service we got.

  We got back to the motel by 3:15. I took a quick survey and found that everyone was ready for a nap.

  "OK. Dinner reservations at 7. The best steak dinner you've ever had. I don't want any crap when it's time to get up. We need to leave at 6:30. I'm setting my alarm for 5:00." I looked at Wendy. "And everyone is to take a shower before we go. If we hadn't been in balloon the stink would have been unbearable today."

  The girls went in their room, we went in ours. A minute after Wendy and I were in bed there was a knock on the door between the rooms. Since Wendy was on top of me, she got up and opened the door. Nobody said anything. She came back in and assumed the position. Somehow all three of them were able to pile in and snuggle up to the two of us without overcrowding the bed.

  Everybody was asleep with a smile on their face within five minutes.

  Chapter 9

  The alarm went off at 5:00. I pushed Wendy off my chest and climbed over a pile of women to get to the other side of the bed to turn it off.

  June opened her eyes and smiled at me. She lay on her back and stretched. Damn.

  She happened to be closest to the edge so she lifted the blankets and got out of bed.

  She stood up in front of me and put her arms around my neck, pulling me into her for a long, relaxing kiss. I put my attention into returning the favor.

  We backed off. She looked at me and went "Whew. I'm almost ready to see if you put as much attention into cunnilingus as you do kissing."

  "I don't do cunnilingus. I eat pussy. There's a difference."

  "Really? What difference?"
r />   "You'll know when you feel it."

  "Boy. Now you've really got me curious. Do we have time before we have to get ready?"

  "Not to do it right. It could take days."

  "Oh boy. Now you've really got my attention." She stepped forward and pulled me in for another kiss."

  She backed up. My cock was poking her throughout the kiss. She reached down and grasped it. God. So gentle. Like a wisp of silk, holding on to my manhood. "I like this."

  June was dressed in a bra and panties. Wendy and I had gone to bed naked. The kids had come in wearing only panties.

  "I need to take a shower. Would you like to join me?"

  "Why not? Nothing can happen in the shower, can it?"

  "Nothing you don't want can happen anywhere with me or any of us." I put my index finger under the band of her bra between her tits and led her into the bathroom.

  We got into the bathroom and I closed the door. June stepped up again and we repeated the kiss. This woman definitely took her kissing seriously. As did I. Breathless, she stepped back and held her arms up. I reached behind her and undid her bra. Amazingly, her large breasts hardly moved down.

  "You must work out."

  "Oh, yeah. I have to. Just like you will if you want me to stick around."

  "Maybe you're what I need. Someone to ride my ass and make sure I keep it up."

  "Oh, I'll do that too, but I was talking about exercise."

  I kneeled and hooked two thumbs in her panties. They slid down to reveal a neatly trimmed pussy. No hair on the inside. Thick, dark labia that were evidently excited to some degree. I kissed the hair. Soft. I was looking forward to exploring further.

  I opened up one of the small soaps and got a washcloth from the rack, then turned on the water, adjusting the temperature. We both got in and shut the door. I turned on the water. "Too hot or cold?"

  "Just right. Give me that stuff."

  I handed over the soap and washcloth. June reached over me to hold the washcloth under the spray, then started lathering it up. I got underneath and got wet.

  "Move back."

  I stepped back out of the water, my back to her. I felt the warm smoothness of the washcloth as she soaped my back. She didn't hesitate, she made sure I was washed all over my back, my ass, inside my ass, between my legs and the back of my legs.

  "Turn around."

  I did as she reached under the stream to moisten the washcloth. Again she rubbed the small bar of soap back and forth until the cloth was hidden by the lather. She did my chest, my sides, under my arms, my arms, my cock and balls, the fronts of my legs. She lifted up my feet one at a time, kneeling with my hand on her shoulders for support. Each foot was washed thoroughly, including between the toes. When she was done, she stood up.

  "Close your eyes."

  I did and she washed my face, my neck, front and back.

  "Rinse."

  As I stood under the water to rinse off she opened the door and got the bottle of shampoo off the counter next to the sink.

  "Step back."

  It felt so good to have her wash my hair. I used to go to a beauty shop and they would put me in a chair that tilted back over a sink. They used a hose similar to the one in my kitchen sink to clean off the soap. This felt better as June massaged the soap into my hair and scalp.

  "Rinse."

  I did so, then turned around.

  "My turn."

  She snuck by me and got under the water, making sure to get her hair and her body.

  I started with her hair. It was nice and thick. It took a lot of shampoo to get the whole mane soaped up. I did my best to make her feel as good as she had me. If her moaning was any indication, it worked.

  I had her rinse off, then did her back with the washcloth. I made sure to clean her asshole with my middle finger. No complaints, just an "mmmmhhhh" sound. I moved the washcloth over the wonders between her legs. More of the same sound.

  I finished the back and started on her front. It took just once across her breasts to make her nipples shoot out. She bit her lower lip as I dragged the washcloth against the hard nubs. I noted her reaction for future reference.

  Her body had the classic hourglass shape but she definitely wasn't skinny. She was obviously a woman. June was probably about 125 pounds. No fat but no 95 pound girl either. I knew I could make love to her without being afraid of breaking her. And that she could give as good as she got. If I had to describe her, I would say "She is woman." Not "A woman." The essence of "woman." Eve probably looked like June when she was offering the apple to Adam.

  Her navel was a cavern that promised delight. Seeing her waist made you want to wrap your hands around each side. I washed her legs and her feet as she had mine. I stood up and worked the washcloth between her legs. Her pussy lips were more open than before. I lost the washcloth and moved my hand between her legs. I rubbed my middle finger back and forth, then let it sink into her warmth all the way.

  "Please. No. Not here. Not now. Not this way."

  I pulled out and kissed her belly button. I was going to love exploring June's body.

  I watched June rinse off. She wasn't embarrassed to run her hand back and forth between her legs a couple of times.

  She turned and kissed me again. I rose to the occasion. Not that I had far to go. She backed off from me and smiled. "Mmmmhhh."

  She seemed to slide down my front until she was on her knees taking my cock in her mouth. Oh, God. So warm. So soft. I'd gotten my share of head over the years, both good and bad. As I stood there with my cock in her mouth I honestly couldn't remember any of it. Not that I felt any need to. It was like my first blow job. My hips were fucking her mouth violently. I had no control over them, I couldn't have held still if I wanted. She just knelt in front of me and sucked me off. I don't know if I went in her throat or not. She had one arm around my waist and one hand holding the base of my cock. I must have been moving a foot back and forth but she was able to stay with me, working me with her tongue and sucking me as if she was starving for my juice. Never losing me. It didn't take long until I was thrust forward, straining to shoot as much as deeply into her as I could. She let me slide out of her mouth and somehow found the washcloth. She used it to wash me off, then stood up and kissed me again. I could taste myself in her mouth. I didn't care. We had just backed off from out kiss when the bathroom door opened and Wendy walked in.

  "The manager just called. The motel's out of hot water."

  June and I laughed and got out of the shower, leaving it on for Wendy. We had fun drying each other off. By the time we were finished Wendy turned off the water and asked for a towel. We each got a towel and pulled her out of the shower and double-teamed her.

  I went out into the bedroom. I was surprised to see it was 5:55. Time flies when you're having fun. I could hear the shower going in the other room when it wasn't drowned out by the giggling.

  I was dressed by 6:10. Wendy came out of the bathroom in a red and white gingham dress, her hair in pigtails and sparkling green shoes. I went up to her and lay my hand on her stomach.

  "My goodness, Dorothy. It looks like you got stuffed by the scarecrow."

  "Nope. The Tin man used his oilcan on me."

  "Damn, you're beautiful when you smile like that. So much better than yesterday."

  Her smile widened but she lifted a finger to her eye. "Stop it. You're making me cry."

  I leaned over and kissed each eyelid.

  June came in the room. She was wearing a blue blouse and a darker blue skirt. The skirt had 1" pleats all around. She twirled around, the skirt coming out so that it was almost parallel to the ground. Her blue thong matched the blouse.

  She was followed by Beth. Her blouse was cut low to display her massive cleavage to anyone who cared to look. She was wearing a something between a skirt and shorts.

  Kathi was next. A nice off-white blouse, some silky material with three pearl buttons done above her breasts and one undone at the top. She was wearing brown slacks with a crea
se in them. Kathi's not skinny but she's slim. The clothes highlighted her slim figure and showed off all her curves.

  I looked them over. "Boy, maybe we should forget dinner."

  June said "Uh, uh. You promised me a good piece of meat."

  Wendy shot back "Looks like you already had one."

  "I want one I can cut with a knife."

  I grabbed my keys. "I'm ready to go."

  We got to Ruth's Chris steakhouse. June said "I thought so" as we pulled into the self parking area. Nobody else had heard of it.

  A lady named Ruth bought Chris' Steak House in Kansas City many years ago. Rather than change the name, she added hers to the front so the regular clientele would continue to come. She bought the tenderest beef she could find and installed ovens that cooked the steaks at 2500 degrees. The meat stayed hot throughout the meal, even if it was blood rare.

  The place took off. Ruth died a few years ago. There are Ruth's Chris Steak Houses all over the world, including Hong Kong. They are consistently given awards for their food.

  We had a 7PM reservation. We were at our table by 7:02. We were comfortably full by the time we left at 9:45.

  I started out with some oysters on the half shell, as did Wendy. We got lots of "Yecchhs" for that. The other girls had shrimp cocktails.

  I had steak and lobster, Wendy and Beth had steak, June had Mahi Mahi and Kathi had the portobello mushrooms. We shared mushrooms and potatoes au gratin (all natural ingredients, including cheese to die for). The girls all had extravagant deserts. I had a bowl of ice cream and some berries that melted in my mouth. I won't say how much it was, but I don't spend that much for groceries in two weeks. It was worth every penny. And even Wendy left her plate clean.

  We got in the car and drove a half mile down the road to a nightclub that had dancing. This was Palm Desert so most of the population was over retirement age. The band was reminiscent of Tommy Dorsey or Glenn Miller. The songs were all slow and were meant for dancing with a woman plastered to you.