Guns & Smoke

by Lauren Sevier

  One of my hands gripped her right hip, hooking her leg up around my waist. I slid my hand higher, peeling the layered skirts back from the smooth skin of her legs. She squirmed beneath me. I smiled against her breast. My fingers hooked into the waistband of her underclothes, tugging them down. I brought my mouth back to hers, slowing my movements. I didn’t want to rush. I wanted to show her that I didn’t just want to fuck her. I wanted everything with her in a way I’d never considered with anyone else.

  Bonnie’s skin burned against my fingertips. Her nails raked across every inch of my skin, sending pleasure coursing through me. I’d never felt this way before, not just by simple touch. I took my time, sliding her underclothes over her boots and tossing them away. I pressed a kiss to her lower belly; her body tensed beneath me. I smiled against her skin.

  My lips trailed across to one of her thighs, agonizingly slow. She bucked her hips up towards me, her body impatient. I liked that about her. She didn’t hide from her desire. I separated her thighs with my shoulders. She was bared to me in the night air. She was perfect, every slick inch of her. Her back arched, the swell of her breasts and planes of her stomach highlighted by moonlight, urging me to continue. I flashed a wicked grin, reaching up to entwine my fingers with hers. Then I kissed downward, taking a moment to bite the inside of her pale thigh. She moaned into the night air; the only other sound the rushing water behind me.

  I picked up my eyes to watch her, propped up on her elbows. I smiled, but her patience snapped and she tugged our entwined hands to still me.

  “I want you inside me,” she begged, trembling underneath me. The sight of her shattered what little control remained. Her skin flushed, eyes glazed in passion. She was so beautiful like this it almost hurt to look at her. “Please.”

  I had to have her. I couldn’t wait. There would be time for taking it slow later.

  I slid up the length of her body to press another kiss to her lips. Bonnie dragged her hands over the broad planes of my chest, fingers grasping at my belt. She undid my belt buckle, the metallic clang of it sounding through the night. She shoved at my jeans, struggling to peel the wet denim from my skin. I pushed them down, the cool night air sending goosebumps across my skin.

  Bonnie pulled me down, resting her forehead to mine. For a moment, our breath mingled, hot and full of longing. I slid one of my hands down her side, positioning myself between her legs. I gripped her skin when my hand reached her left hip.

  A sharp cry of pain came from between her lips.

  I stilled. When I looked down, there was a dark stain on the fabric of her blue dress. I looked at my hand; moonlight showed me thick, red blood. I rolled back onto my knees, pulling the dress up. How had I missed this?

  “You’re hurt,” I said. Blood seeped from the wound.

  “Must’ve been grazed in the water,” Bonnie said, lying back as she pulled her dress into place.

  I shuffled around on the ground, yanking my pants up and then finding my discarded shirt. I wrung as much of the water out of it as I could, then pressed it against Bonnie’s wound. She hissed in pain.

  “We need to get you to camp,” I said.

  How much blood had she lost?

  Guilt wracked my shoulders as I helped her to stand. I wasn’t going to let anything happen to her. Not now. Not after everything we’d been through. I kept a tight grip on her waist, and she lifted an arm to rest on my shoulders.

  We had planned to meet the others on the east of the town before we got separated. After grabbing my gun holster and slinging it over my shoulder, we set out. I quickly lost track of how far we walked; all of my concern was for Bonnie. It felt like a thousand miles passed as she helped me navigate by the stars. Eventually, her words faded into silence and her head rested heavy against my shoulder. With each step, her feet grew clumsier.

  “Bonnie,” I whispered, lifting my shoulder to get her attention. She picked up her head, her eyes barely opened into slits. I had to keep her awake. “Tell me what your favorite food is.”

  It would be up to me to make sure that we made it out of this alive.

  “Hm?” she asked.

  “What’s your favorite food?” I asked.

  “Strawberries,” Bonnie said with a sigh, her head falling back to my shoulder again.

  “Tell me a story. Like you tell The Kid. Something you’ve never told me,” I said, forcing my tone to remain even. I was terrified, but I couldn’t let her know that. We were going to make it to camp. We had to.

  “Two bits,” Bonnie said after a long moment of silence.

  “What?” I asked.

  “That’s how much I’m worth.” She sounded drunk. My brow furrowed as a heaviness settled on my shoulders. She was worth so much more than that. “Jones was lookin’ for that stupid gun. He was hagglin’ over the price and had ‘em throw me in for an extra two bits of silver.” She paused, licking her lips as though she was thirsty. “After what happened with Beck, I started plannin’ my escape. It took a year before she got word to me that she was in Vegas with Murph.”

  Bonnie groaned beneath her breath as we started moving uphill. I tried slowing my pace to compensate, but it wasn’t helping. She cringed with every movement.

  “Seven months after that, I was almost ready. Jones started losing it, bad. He would look at me and say strange things. He would ask me when our dad was comin’ home. Or if I’d seen a TV show that night.” A dark laugh bubbled from between her lips. “Then he’d catch himself and beat me until my bones hurt.”

  Anger flared in my chest for a man I hoped to never meet. The things Jones did to her, the things he did to other people. I’d never understand it, and I didn’t want to. All I wanted was to keep her safe and to keep her in my arms. Bonnie dug her feet in, stopping our progress as we approached a ridge.

  “I can’t—” Her knees shook. Blood flowed down her left leg. Fuck.

  “It’s okay,” I said, sweeping her carefully into my arms. Warm blood slicked against me as I cradled her to my chest. “I’ve got you.” I pressed my lips to her temple. When I pulled back, her eyelids fluttered shut.

  “Hey,” I said. “Don’t fall asleep. What happened next?” She nodded in response, her lips moving without sound for a moment.

  “I knew I couldn’t wait any longer,” she said. She tried to swallow, but I could hear her struggle with it. “He brought me to his tent to punish me one night. Instead, I knocked him over the head with this... thing... I don’t know what it was...” I focused on my steps, on my breathing, on her breathing. She fought back against the darkness threatening to consume her. She always fought back. It was one of the many things I loved about her. “I grabbed Selene and whatever I could fit in my pack and ran.” She gave another dark laugh. “I didn’t even have any water.”

  We reached the top of the ridge, and I stopped, my eyes widening as the world opened up beneath us. It was hard to tell where the land ended and the sky began. The view was the most beautiful thing I’d ever seen, aside from the woman in my arms.

  How could I ever have thought that Montana was where I was meant to be?

  The earth spread out before us, barren, but beautiful in the moonlight. The sky was an endless expanse of stars. It reminded me of my own mortality. That I was small in the scheme of things. Insignificant.

  I opened my mouth to tell Bonnie about it, but her closed eyes sent panic through my heart.

  “What happened after you left, Bon?” I asked, forcing my words to even out. I didn’t want her to know how scared I was. She blinked her eyes open, leaning her head farther into the spot between my neck and my shoulder.

  “Those goddamned wanted posters Jones put out happened. I was going to leave town before he caught up. Then I met you.”

  A smile crossed my face.

  “I couldn’t turn away. I had to know you.”

  Bonnie looked up at me with resignation in her eyes. I gave her a bittersweet smile, knowing to high hell that if we didn’t get her to camp, she wouldn’
t make it past the morning. She’d lost too much blood.

  “You hated me,” she said. I chuckled at her words.

  “I did,” I said. “But, as it turns out, getting robbed by you was the best thing that ever happened to me, too.”

  I pressed my lips to her forehead; her skin was warm, too warm. We’d be lucky if the wound wasn’t already infected. I didn’t know what I was doing. I kept going, trying to think of something to say to keep her awake. Her eyes closed, and panic rose into my shoulders again. My arms shook from trying to keep her steady. The blood from her wound made it hard to keep a steady grasp. I had to shift her weight more onto my shoulder so I didn’t lose my grip.

  “Bon, wake up,” I said in a quiet voice. She didn’t acknowledge me. “C’mon. Wake up.” I shrugged my shoulder to make her lift her head. It didn’t work. Instead, her head flopped lifelessly back.

  My heart plummeted into the pit of my stomach.

  We’d come too far for it to end like this. My arms, shaking from the strain, tightened around her, keeping her close to my heart. I pressed forward, not knowing if we were even going in the right direction anymore. She needed help. Fast. If Bonnie died, then what was the point to the endless miles of wilderness and countless dangers we’d faced? I couldn’t imagine a world where someone so stubborn and strong didn’t exist. I didn’t want to live without her fierce heart and sharp tongue. The very thought of having to tell The Kid that Bonnie had died wrenched a sob from within my chest.

  He couldn’t lose anyone else. I couldn’t. I lost everything in Montana only to find a better life with Bonnie. She was the one who had saved me when my own grief over my parents threatened to consume me. She frustrated me to no end sometimes, but she made me a better man. She showed me how kindness and compassion helped to soften the jagged edges of life. She picked me amongst a sea of strangers back in Vegas. I chose her now.

  I would always choose Bonnie.

  I dragged in ragged breaths as I ignored my own quaking legs. I wouldn’t stop. I wouldn’t give up. I couldn’t.

  Because I loved her.

  Every step was fueled by that realization. I love Bonnie, and I would do anything if it meant being able to save her.

  I allowed myself a quick break, long enough to stand still. “C’mon, Bon,” I whispered, leaning down to brush my lips to her forehead. “Don’t leave me. Please.” My eyes heated, and tears spilled over onto my cheeks. I couldn’t lose her. I adjusted my grip, clutching Bonnie tight against my chest. I pressed my forehead against hers.

  “I love you,” I whispered.

  Everything was silent, save for her shallow breaths and my pounding heartbeat. The blood on her legs turned cold, coating the skin between us. My life narrowed to a single point. Bonnie. Everything came back to her, to that moment in Vegas when she could have just watched me walk away but chose not to. She didn’t know it, but she saved me that day, too. Not from anyone like Sixgun or a crater beast, but from myself. From destroying myself with grief over the loss of my parents, with anger at being left to take care of a child when I barely felt like more than a kid myself. Bonnie had taught me how to live. She had to survive. That was what she was good at, wasn’t it?

  “Bonnie!” I picked up my head as shouting echoed from a distance.

  The Kid. I swore, then forced myself to take a step. Then another. I set off toward my brother’s voice, trying to quicken my pace. Bonnie made a low noise with each impact of my foot on the ground. I followed the sound of my brother’s voice, until we broke through a tree line.

  “Jesse!” The Kid shouted, running for us.

  Relief flooded through my chest. Will ran toward us as well. They hadn’t been captured, and they were in much better shape than us. Adrenaline fueled each of my steps. The Kid stopped short at the sight of Bonnie’s limp form in my arms. His face paled.

  “What happened?” he asked, not hiding the fear in his voice.

  “She got shot,” I said, groaning as Will took Bonnie from me. My knees quaked as I compensated for her absence. “Kid, get bandages and alcohol and water.”

  My brother dashed away. Clara came up asking questions, but I brushed past her, moving toward where Will set Bonnie on the back of the wagon. I shoved him out of the way and leaned over her, putting a hand to her cheek.

  “Bonnie, c’mon, wake up,” I said, fighting back tears again. I cradled her head in my hands. Her eyes fluttered open, the lines of her face made harsher by the light of the campfire. “I need you to stay awake.”

  “Is she gonna be okay?” The Kid asked, returning with supplies in hand.

  “She’s gonna be fine,” I said, turning to Will. Even if I wanted to stitch her up, I knew my hands would be too shaky to do it. I didn’t know the guy. I didn’t trust him. But I needed him to save Bonnie’s life. “Please.”

  Without a word, Will took off his hat and got to work. I grabbed a blanket from one of the bedrolls and used it to cover her as Will cut her skirt away with a knife.

  “Is the bullet in there?” he asked.

  “No, it grazed her,” I said. My legs shook beneath my weight. I sat on the edge of the wagon and gripped one of Bonnie’s hands in both of my own. She squeezed my fingers weakly. She fought to stay awake.

  "Fuck. She needs fluids," Will said, his sleeves rolled up. Dark blood covered his hands.

  I grabbed the canteen and poured some water in her mouth. She struggled to swallow, but opened her eyes to look at me. I brushed the hair from her face and kissed her forehead.

  “Why are you wet?” Clara asked.

  “What?” I asked.

  “You’re wet.”

  “Oh,” I said. “That. We jumped off a cliff into a river to escape those people.”

  “Cool!” The Kid said, climbing up the other side of the wagon to sit by Bonnie.

  Then she screamed. Will shushed her, comforting her as he dragged the needle across her wound again and again.

  “Esta bien, mi cielo. El dolor es fugaz.” He whispered the words softly to her, and she stopped screaming.

  I lost track of how many times Will punctured Bonnie’s skin in order to piece her back together. Seconds, or minutes, maybe hours later, she hissed between her teeth as Will poured alcohol over the stitches. Then he stepped away. She tried to sit up, and I helped her, keeping the motion fluid so she didn’t injure herself further. I offered her the canteen, but she shook her head. I extended my hand to Will.

  “Give me your flask.”

  He did it without a word. I unscrewed the cap and poured some into her mouth. She blinked at me, her eyes brighter as the alcohol settled into her veins.

  “Jesse, where’s your shirt?” Clara asked, arms crossed over her chest. I looked down for the first time, realizing I’d left my bloody shirt back on that embankment. When I looked at Bonnie, I couldn’t hide my smile.

  “Are you okay?” I asked her. She nodded, her eyes full of gratitude. But also the love I’d first seen at that hotel. The Kid slid into my view.

  “So. You jumped off of a cliff,” he said, his eyes full of awe as he looked between us.

  “Yep,” I said, not looking away from Bonnie. There were so many things I wanted to say. But with everyone watching, it didn’t feel right.

  “Got some bad news,” Will said. “I had to put one of the horses down. It broke a leg.”

  “Which one?” I asked, searching for No Name and Eagle. Thankfully, they were both on the other side of camp. It was one of the horses from the wagon.

  “I rode too close to The Kid and the horses spooked. One of them caught on a big root at the edge of the trees when they had to veer away,” Will said.

  Bonnie tried to stay awake, but her eyes grew heavy. I grabbed another blanket from the bedrolls and put it under her head.

  “Get some rest,” I whispered, pressing my lips to her cheek.

  I turned to the others. We had a problem. No Name and Eagle were too strong to pull the wagon. I opened my mouth to start barking orders, but co
uld see the fatigue written on their faces.

  “Let’s get an hour or two of sleep. Then we’ll figure it out,” I said. I found my pack and pulled out clean clothes, only to realize I was covered in Bonnie’s blood. Horror seized my heart. I needed to get it off. Someone shoved a canteen into my hands.

  “Here, clean yourself up,” Will said. I looked up at him, and concern reflected back at me in his gaze. I poured water over my chest, scrubbing away the crusted blood from my skin.

  “Thanks,” I murmured. I rubbed my hands together, forcing the sight of Bonnie’s limp body from my mind.

  “She lost a lot of blood,” Will said before lighting a cigarette. “Like... a lot of blood.”

  “Is she going to be okay?” I asked, sliding a clean shirt over my head.

  “It’s too soon to tell.” Will took the canteen from me. I expected him to leave, but he stood there, staring at me with angry eyes.

  “What?” I asked as I kicked off my soiled jeans.

  “I told you back in that town. You’re gonna get her killed,” he said. His face shifted, his dark eyes fading from anger to pain. “Maybe you’ll save her, too.” The sincerity in his voice hit me squarely in the chest. I couldn’t find the words to express my gratitude for what he’d said, or for saving Bonnie.

  “What did you say to her?” I asked, remembering the smooth Spanish words he’d whispered to Bonnie. “To get her to calm down?”

  “It's alright, my sky. Pain is fleeting." Will brought his gaze to mine. “We’ve had to put each other back together a lot.” I didn’t doubt that. With a nod of respect, I slipped on my clean pants. Then I glanced toward Bonnie’s still form.

  “Truthfully, will she be alright?” I asked him.