by Melinda Minx
As he opened the wrapper, I thought to tell him that I was on the pill. Then I remembered that I usually take it at 6:00pm, and I'd forgotten to because I was so hung-up on getting ready for my date. I took the condom from him and rolled it onto his dick.
"Doggystyle coffee?" I said, getting onto my knees. I let my upper body fall down onto the pillow, digging my elbows in with my ass up in the air. "Or was that really the name of the beans?"
"Yeah," he said, "I made that up. I was just trying to get back at you for being wittier than me in the limo."
"I figured."
He slapped his cock onto my back, and I closed my eyes and waited for it. I wanted him inside me badly. I was almost disappointed that there had to be a condom, but I didn't want to risk anything.
He pressed against my opening, and soon he was sliding inside me. I gasped. He was bigger than anyone I'd ever been with. My body clenched, but Silas cupped one of my breasts and spoke to me in a soft and smooth voice. "Relax, nurse Emily, you took care of me, but now I'm taking care of you."
He touched my hips in a way that demanded I relax. It was a soft, soothing, and confident touch, and my whole body relaxed as he stroked up my hips to my waist.
Silas slid his cock deeper inside, and now that I was relaxed, it felt good. It felt perfect. It felt like everything I never even knew I needed.
He slid deep into me. He split me wide, and my inner walls clenched him tight. I was soaking wet, and yet as he pressed himself deep into me, I grew even wetter still.
His hands took dominant grip of my hips. He slid out and slammed back into me. His cock pistoned in and out of me, and his fingertips dug into the supple flesh of my hips and ass.
Silas’ hips slapped wet and hard against my body with each thrust. His cock filling me up with its full length and girth sent shuddering and ecstatic waves through my entire body.
He pinned me down onto the bed, his powerful body pressing up against me. He was sweating now, and our bodies slid wet and warm against each other as he pumped in and out of me.
Just when I was certain I'd come, he flipped me around, and I wrapped my legs instinctively around him. He entered me again, and this time he kissed my ear as he fucked me. I pressed my lips against his throat. He rammed in and out of me, and my lips slid against the raw stubble and masculine contours of his Adam's apple.
He grunted, and I realized I too was already coming.
"Fuck, Emily," he gasped. "How are you this good? How do you feel so good?"
Suddenly it felt much better. Warmer, wetter, tighter. It hadn’t felt bad at all before, but in one split second it felt at least twice as good. Twice as real.
I tried to say something, but I only got a "Silas" out before my voice turned into a distorted and high-pitched moan.
I dug my heels into his muscular ass, as if that would get him a few centimeters deeper inside me. I knew he was coming, because I could feel his cock throbbing.
It felt too good, almost as if there were no condom at all. I even felt wetter than I ever thought possible as we both fell together and started panting.
We rolled onto our sides and looked each other in the eyes.
"Nurse Emily," he said, tucking a strand of hair behind my ear.
"Silas."
"I don't get a title?"
"I told you from the beginning you didn't need to call me ‘Nurse Emily.’"
"You like it when I do though," he whispered, pulling out of me.
His eyes widened and he looked down.
"What is it?"
"It broke."
That’s why it had suddenly felt better. Just as we’d started to come, the condom had broken.
I touched his chin and pulled his gaze up to meet mine. "I'm on the pill. Don't worry."
He bit his lip. "I really don't want a kid, Emily."
"I'm on the pill. Don't worry."
I’d just forgotten it for one day. That shouldn't have mattered. Right?
6
Silas
"What's wrong?" Noah asked.
We had just got out of a meeting. Noah Black was my partner and co-CEO of Blackwinters Publishing.
"I'm fine," I said. "Nothing's wrong."
"You've been off all morning, man."
"I didn't sleep."
"Is that the 'I didn't sleep' of a normal person who sometimes struggles with insomnia, or the 'I didn't sleep' of Silas Winters picking up yet another woman?"
I clenched my jaw and looked up at Noah. "She wasn't just another woman. That's the problem."
Noah laughed.
"It's not funny," I said. "I really don't know what to make of this. She's a nurse. She was my nurse—"
"Wait," Noah said. "Why did you need a nurse?"
"That part doesn't matter—"
"Silas," Noah said. "I'll stand here and listen to your problems, but as payment, I need to know the potentially embarrassing reason that you needed a nurse."
"Fishhook got stuck in my nipple. Anyway, I got really hard when this nurse was trying to take the fishhook out, and—"
Noah was already laughing, but he pulled himself together enough to hold up a finger and stop me. "I need to know more about this fishhook. Why the fuck were you fishing?"
"For a client. I was bad at it, obviously."
"So you fucked this nurse in the hospital?"
"God, no. Do you know how dirty hospitals are? I asked her out. We went on a date. It was all real classy."
I didn't want to tell him about the bar fight. That part wasn't especially classy.
The door to the meeting room swung open, and Lacey and Naomi came through.
Lacey was Noah's wife, and Naomi was his little girl, but not from Lacey—it was a long story.
"What's so funny, Daddy?" Naomi asked.
"We heard you laughing through the door," Lacey said.
I watched Noah's face as he went through the full thought process. He badly wanted to tell Lacey exactly what happened to me, but he was considering whether it was an age-appropriate story for a 4-year-old.
I was hoping he'd decided it wasn't something he wanted to tell in front of Naomi, but when a devilish smirk filled his face, I knew I was in for it.
"So guess who went fishing?" Noah said.
Lacey looked at me and tilted her head. "Why would you go fishing, Silas?"
"I got a fishhook stuck in my nipple. Boom. Story's over."
Lacey started laughing, and Noah glared at me. "You didn't let me tell the story, man!"
"It's my story to tell."
"Did that hurt, uncle Silas?" Naomi asked.
I wasn't really her uncle, but it felt like it sometimes. To be honest, she was the only kid in the world that I liked. I hated kids, Naomi excluded.
"It wasn't so bad," I said, throwing my feet up onto the meeting table and leaning back into my chair. "I had a really good nurse."
"What was her name?" Lacey asked.
"Emily. Nurse Emily."
From the way that Lacey and Noah looked at each other, I realized that my face must have given away my feelings. They smiled at each other, and then looked back at me.
"Did she give you a shot?" Naomi asked.
"No shots."
"I don't like to go to the doctor, because I don't wanna have a shot."
"No one likes going to the doctor, sweetie."
Except I did. At least this one time.
"So," Lacey asked. "She was really good, huh?"
"Very. So good that I'm considering..." I looked at Naomi and tried to think of how to word it to protect her innocent ears. "I'm considering going in for a follow-up."
"Are you sure you're not getting sick from infection?" Noah asked.
Lacey laughed, but I just scowled at both of them and jabbed a finger in their general direction.
"You two don't take me seriously enough. Just because I haven't caught the right fish yet, doesn't mean that I'm not out there trying to catch the right one."
Noah looked at La
cey and spoke in a voice that was completely meant to ignore me entirely. "He goes fishing one time, and suddenly he's speaking in fishing metaphors."
"I'm trying," I said, cutting him off, "I'm trying to speak in such a way that I don't corrupt your precious little girl's innocent ears."
"We appreciate that," Lacey said to me, then she turned to Noah and took Naomi by the hand. "We'll be in the lobby. Hopefully you're ready to go soon?"
Noah nodded and walked them to the door.
When they were gone he looked back up at me and let out a sigh. "I guess it's good, man. You've always thrown back every single fish you've ever caught. It's good if you find one you want to keep."
"Your kid's gone, man, we don't have to talk in code anymore. The condom broke the first time we slept together—"
"Wait, you've slept with her more than once already?"
"We did it like six times last night. It was the first night though."
"Ah, gotcha. So the condom broke. That's not good."
"She said she's on the pill, but the weird thing is...I don't feel half as terrified as I should. I mean I still feel terrified, because fuck do I not ever want to have kids. The thing is, I'm only like 30% terrified instead of 100%, shitting-bricks terrified like I would be if this had happened with anyone else other than Nurse Emily. Do not tell anyone I said this. Especially not Lacey, because this is very embarrassing after only one night, but I almost was thinking that if she got pregnant, it would like...force her to stay with me. Like it would guarantee that she'd always be a part of my life in some way or another, even if I totally fucked things up with her. That thought felt good man, then I slapped myself in the face and got terrified again. Still, what is wrong with me that I'm having thoughts like this?"
Noah stroked his chin and nodded a few times. "You said you were only half as terrified as you should be, then it was suddenly 30%. Are you getting more and more warmed up to the notion of having a kid, or is that you just pulling numbers out of your ass?
"You know what I meant. I'm not the kind of guy who wants a kid. You feel me?"
"You're great with Naomi."
"That's Naomi! Naomi is like...I'm her Uncle Silas."
"If you're good with one kid, you could be good with other kids."
"It's not about the kid. She said she's on the pill, and the condoms didn't break the next five times. This isn't about a hypothetical kid. It's about the girl. The woman. The nurse."
"Emily."
"Yes. If I'm thinking that I could somehow tolerate the idea of having a kid with her, what does it mean about how I feel for her. That's what I'm focusing on here. This isn’t about the kid—which isn’t happening, by the way—or the broken condom. It’s about her. It’s about what I should do to not fuck this up."
"I think it means that you are really into her, and you should ask her out again."
I leaned even further back into my chair and nodded. Yes. Everything Noah said had just made sense. I shouldn't be afraid of this. I should ask her out again.
I didn't need to have a kid with her to make her a part of my life. I just needed to keep doing what I'd been doing. I just needed to spend time with her. Get to know her. Cherish her and shit. That's what I needed to do.
7
Emily
"For real?" I asked.
Dr. Ayers nodded. "You got in."
"I'm going to be a doctor!"
"A resident doctor."
"A doctor is a doctor, Dr. Ayers!"
"Wait until you've started your residency to tell me that. It's hard. It's brutal. It's unforgiving."
"No offense, Dr. Ayers, but you've never been a nurse."
"I was impressed with how you handled our VIP patient," Ayers said, "you handled that better than I could have."
"Thanks," I said, trying not to visibly blush at the mention of Silas. If Dr. Ayers knew just how well I handled that patient, he might reconsider giving me the residency position.
"There's only one little issue," he said, "we don't have a slot here."
"Like at this hospital?"
He shook his head. "In New York. Or even the East Coast."
"Where is it?"
"It's at our new branch we just opened. In Alaska."
My eyes widened. Alaska. That was...very far from here.
"I know it's a lot to take in, Emily, but this is a really good opportunity for you. I've seen how driven you are, and Alaska isn't as bad as you think."
"Doesn't the government pay people to go live there? If it weren’t bad, they wouldn’t be doing that."
"Anchorage is great," he said, "I've been there. You'll love it. Trust me. Did you go to med school to be a nurse?"
I bit my lip and realized what was really holding me back here. I wasn't attached to living in New York. I honestly thought Alaska sounded exciting. It was far away, a new frontier, a fresh start. What was holding me back wasn't the location or the job, it was Silas. I'd only spend one night with him, but just as I'd feared, stepping into that limo and being whisked into what felt like a fantasy world with him was already starting to hold me back. I was getting cold feet at what was a dream come true for me. All because of some man I barely even knew.
"I'll take it," I said, forcing confidence into my voice. "I like the cold weather. And you're right, I didn't go to medical school to be a nurse."
I'd always planned to be a doctor, but my mother had gotten sick right as I was finishing med school. I needed to get a stable, high-paying job as soon as I could, and so being a nurse it was.
My mom had fortunately recovered—though we were only just now finishing paying off all the debt that her chemo and surgeries had cost us. It was time now though for me to go full-force toward my dream. To be a doctor.
As soon as I got off work, I noticed that Silas had texted me.
I frowned. I almost didn't want to open the message. What if I got tempted to give up? What if I just decided that being a nurse was good enough? I'd regret that decision immensely. Still, I didn't want Silas to think that I had somehow used him as a one-night stand. I owed him the truth.
My residency was starting in just two weeks. I didn't have a lot of things to move, but I did have Bella, and I had a lot to get done before the move. I needed to tell Silas goodbye. I couldn’t risk going out with him more and getting tempted to stay. I needed to end things before they really got started.
We met at a coffeeshop in the middle of the day. It was really just coffee this time. I made sure we met in broad daylight with no alcohol around. I had a feeling that if I ever slept with him again, I'd be unable to stay away from him.
I sat down with my drink. I was about ten minutes early, but Silas came in just a few minutes later. He was wearing a suit and tie. He looked too expensive for this cafe. I noticed almost every woman in the coffee shop—even ones that were with their boyfriends or husbands—turn their heads and drink him in.
He sat down without ordering a drink and grinned at me. "Hello, nurse."
I smiled, but it was just with my mouth and not with my eyes. He picked it up at once, reaching his hand across the table and taking hold of mine. I felt stiff, and cold. I hated this, but I knew I needed to stay resolute.
"What's going on?" he asked.
"I...I'm not a nurse anymore. I'm a doctor. Resident doctor."
"Then why do you look like you just got fired?"
I took in a deep breath and looked down at the table. I looked at his strong hand taking hold of mine. I exhaled, my chest heaving. "Silas," I said, still not looking up. "The job is in Alaska. I don't think we can keep seeing each other."
"You definitely can't see me looking down at the table like that."
I looked up, which made it that much harder to do this.
"I can't tell you what to do," he said, "we only spent one night together, but I really feel something, Emily."
"I did too," I said, "but that's why I think we have to end this. I can't give this job up, Silas. I've worked too hard for thi
s to give it up. Even for something that feels as good as..."
I trailed off, not wanting to get too mushy about what I felt for Silas. I was trying to end things, not escalate them.
"You realize I have a private jet, right?" he asked. "Long-distance is a thing."
I pulled my hand away. "I'm sorry, Silas, but I just can't do that. I have to focus on my job. I'm going to be working insane hours. I can't split my focus right now."
"Maybe it's for the best," he said.
"Yeah, maybe."
We looked at each other awkwardly. Our "maybes" hung in the air, feeling more and more like a lie we were telling ourselves, but neither of us seemed to want to say that.
"Do you want me to kiss you goodbye?" he asked.
"I would want that," I said, "but..."
I couldn't finish the sentence. If I told him that I thought even one more kiss would make it impossible to leave him, then I feared he'd take that kiss to keep me here. I couldn't risk that, so I stood up.
"I'll hug you goodbye then," he said.
He took hold of me. I pressed my cheek against his broad chest. I wrapped my arms around him, but didn't hold him as tightly to him as I wanted to.
I forced myself away as temptations to let him kiss me, or to reconsider, started popping into my head.
"Goodbye, Silas," I said, my voice flat so as to stop it from breaking and cracking.
I walked out of the cafe, turned the corner, and broke out into tears.
FOUR YEARS AND NINE MONTHS LATER
We got off the plane at Newark. Elijah, my son, ran through the skybridge, yelling so his voice would echo through.
I chased after him, lugging both of our carry-on suitcases behind us. Most of the other passengers just smiled at me as I scurried past them after my son, but a few shot me annoyed looks.
I finally caught up to Elijah and grabbed him to hold him still. "Wait for Mommy, sweetie."
"I wanna run faster!"
"You're getting faster than me."
His carry-on was this little blue suitcase shaped like a dog. It had buttons on each ear, and when you pressed one, it changed the colors of the dog's eyes. It was a wheeled suitcase, and it was designed for a kid to be able to ride on it. Elijah had some of his favorite toys and stuffed animals crammed into the little suitcase. I put it down onto the ground and handed him the strap. "Why don't you walk the doggie through the airport?"
