The Widow's Friend

by Dave Stone; Callii Wilson

  Those are stark questions, really, and I still have my eyes wide open. It brings me back to the old Who song, the first song that I ever sent

  you, “Who Are You?” I kind of think you’re somewhere in the middle of all of these queries, and I’m glad that you are. I like what I’m finding

  here, because you are Calliijo, three dots in a row. You are who you are, and I like who you are. I find you real and refreshing, and you just keep leading me on. I can’t let go of the thought of you, nor do I want to.

  I have to tell you that I have been thinking of you too much lately. I would like to come down there and sit in the dark with you, parameters or not. I would like to hold you, to soothe you, and have you do the same for me—and I know that you would. I find it amazing how close we can get through these e-mails, but does your thinking of me fade in and out a bit? I find that occasionally I will find you fading in my life just a pinch, and then you’ll send me some funny or clever little note and wrap yourself around my heart again. You’re a pervasive and insistent little girl. But from my experiences in the dating game (fuzzy memories), one person or the other usually gets their heart broken. Maybe you’ll wise up and send me packing someday. Penny Peterson or someone wise will inform you of the “real” Levi Stone and your eyes will be opened. Or maybe Mary (mine, not yours) will transform from an ugly caterpillar to a beautiful butterfly, or from Cruella Deville to a gentle little puppy, or from Oscar the Grouch to Big Bird or Elmo, or from a sputtering and raging Donald Duck to a nice-as-pie Daisy Duck. You get the picture? Then I would have to slowly unwind this thing that we’ve gotten ourselves into, and you would think that I had led you on. But I think, and I don’t know about you, that no matter what happens we’re going to be friends until the day that we die, it just depends on what kind of a friendship and how deep that it goes.

  Disneyland, the happiest place on earth, I wish I was going there with you, especially with the grandkids. I love that place. And I wish I was staying in the same room with you, (I know, all talk.) even if we had to share it with Mattie—I do know how to be quiet.

  I used to think it took three days to do Disneyland and do it well, but not anymore. Now, with the California Adventure Park next door, I think you could do five full days and not have enough time to get everything in.

  So here I sit, on the desktop up in my den. I just had the same experience last night that you had on Sunday. I had about 45 minutes of e-mail written to you when my old laptop just suddenly turned off. I lost the whole thing. I’d forgotten that it does that sometimes. The page that you just read was a do over. It may be better or worse than the first, I don’t know, but it took some more time, that’s for sure.

  Right now it’s four twenty in the morning and my alarm goes off at six. I woke up about three o’clock and tried to go back to sleep, but no dice. I curled up against my wife but she was boarded up and shuttered down for the night—out of business, no interest, go away. Silly girl, she’s really gonna’ miss me someday, don’t you think? And is this what you really want, some guy pawing at you in the middle of the night? There are pros and cons to all of this, you know.

  How is your struggle with Parker and all of the girls going? Is there anyone out there other than you that is supportive of him? Is he glad that he’s out of the country? How is his ex-wife holding up? Anyway, I worry for you a bit. My heart is with you.

  Well, I’m going back to bed now, maybe I can sleep for an hour. At least I can rest my tired eyes. I’ll write more tonight after work and then send it off. I’ll go through your e-mails and talk some more if you’re not too angry with me. After I sent off the thing about 365 husbands I thought maybe that was a bit much. I hope I didn’t offend you. It was just another attempt at humor. The thing is, I really don’t care how many times you’ve been married—really. Therefore, it just seems like more conversation to me. I hope I didn’t hurt your feelings.

  Well, I’ll be thinking of you, whether I want to or not, because you’re wrapped in my thoughts continually.

  Thanks again, from your longtime friend, Levi

  ***

  All right, I’m back. It’s almost six p.m. and there’s a deep blizzard outside. I’m glad to be home. I’ll be out blowing snow within the hour.

  It sucks not having a good computer. My old laptop wouldn’t turn on tonight, so I’m up in my den again on the old desk top. It’s a real hummer but I can still type on it. Everything just moves really slowly.

  Christmas seems like a long time ago already. It was fun and hectic, but we had a lot of parties at my house. The last one was last Monday night with the kids and the grandkids. It was an extra one since Bailey didn’t get here until later on Saturday. We did Mexican and hung a piñata. We hung a crocodile from the basketball standard and let them swing away with a baseball bat. Really exciting stuff, but everyone had fun.

  Well, I’m gonna go blow some snow now. If you reply with a little something quickly (before nine), then I’ll write more tonight. If not, then I’ll have to wait—I’ll have no other choice.

  Write soon. Your friend, Levi

  ***

  From Callii Wilson (One hour later)

  Hello friendly friend, Levi

  First of all, it takes a lot to offend me—it’s because I am so dumb. I usually don’t catch on that I am supposed to be offended. I had a great time egging you on last night. I thought for a minute that you really would be here in thirty minutes, but ME Do know you, don’t me? You, my friend, are all talk…

  You asked if I think about you. The answer to that is—just all the time. As far as which one is going to get hurt, that would be me and I am prepared for it, in fact I would prefer it that way. That would mean you have worked things out with Mary. (Not my Mary.) I hate that you are unhappy, and I also hate to see families torn apart. I have been there and it is not fun. I wish all the time that you were single, but I also wouldn’t want to play a part in coming between you and your wife.

  How’s the snow blowing going? That rhymed. Now I can’t remember what I was saying to you, and for some reason the emails I send to you don’t show until you send me another one. Is that normal?

  Now I will tell you who I am. I am a Grasshopper, a back row bleacher bum, and yes, my mom would tell you, or anyone else for that matter, to run away.

  Are you my friend for life? Yes, I hope so. Do I want you for your body? It depends.

  How strong are you? Can you take a punch? I don’t mean to lead you on. It seems that it is hard to be friends with the opposite sex without leading someone on. I think that you are the leader and I am just an innocent follower, just like in the olden days.

  I am in the middle of taking my Christmas stuff down. It seems like I just put it up. I am going to get it all put away tonight if it kills me. If you don’t hear from me soon, watch the obituaries.

  I am going to end for now. Thanks for the email. I cherished it. You make me feel loved.

  Now here is something cute I ran across today: If snowflakes were kisses, I’d send you a blizzard. You didn’t know it was me that sent you all that snow today, did you?

  May a snowflake hit you on the cheek, Callii

  ***

  From Levi Stone (Thirty one minutes later)

  Oh Callii, Callii, you are such an enigma. Do you know what that means? I’m not sure that I do. I believe that you are everything that you said you are, and so much more. Don’t worry about me being strong, you could crush me, but I’ve been crushed before, but then again, not for a long time and probably not like you could. And you never were an innocent bystander, not then and not now. I’m the little straight arrow. We’ve been through all that before. And don’t give me that innocent stuff. You play me like the violin. And what’s with this “all talk” crap, action-girl? What is it you want from me? Shall I show up at your door, grab you by both cheeks and give you a great big kiss—mmwwaahh! Like Bugs Bunny kissing Elmer Fudd? Or shall we drive to Sugar City, park the car, and make out like a couple of ninth
graders? Or do you want me to come down there and jump your bones, hard and fast, and then hurry and get dressed and split with nary a word? I mean really, what kind of action should I take? Let me know so I can either relax, or screw up my nerve, or stay confused.

  Having said that, I’d like to come down again and see you. I’d like to give you another set of books to share, since you’re such a fan. Besides, I can’t think of another reason to drop in. Hollow Chill won’t be done for at least a month, though.

  Did you know that you made my day, my night, my week, and my new year today? It’s because you said that you think of me all the time. A song keeps going through my mind, “Heaven, I’m in heaven…” You bring it out of me. I think I just felt a snowflake on my cheek. Or was that a tear, because I’m so happy. (That was a little corny, even for me!)

  And Jo, thanks for all the kisses you sent my way, but they were wet and sloppy kisses. Is that your style? My danged snow blower broke in the slush because of them. Sigh… But I’d like to try your wet and sloppy kisses anyway, some day—any day!

  And finally, I’m glad you feel loved—there’s a reason for that, friendly friend. So find a night and invite me down. I’ll deliver some books. I’m sure you’ll find others to share them with, and if you don’t, nobody cares anyway.

  “Heaven, I’m in heaven.” Please lead me on, woman. I can certainly handle it. I could only not handle it if you stopped, and anything that you send to my cheek will be a welcome addition.

  And one last thing, you always play the dumb card, but you can’t fool me. You are witty and clever on top of your good looks. Give Mary Lou a kiss good night for me, and sleep well dear friend.

  From your not so secret admirer, Levi

  P.S Write soon and write often, and I will too.

  From Callii Wilson (Ten minutes later)

  Oh Levi, you are such an enigma too. I’ll look that up later. I may never sleep again after your email. You should write romance novels.

  Good night my friendly friend, Callii

  ***

  From Levi Stone (Fifteen minutes later)

  Good night dear Callii, I took one more peek at my e-mail and I’m glad that I did. Would you like to be the leading lady in my romance novel? You would bring the best writing out in me.

  Good night again sweet grandma. Still dreaming, Levi

  ***

  From Callii Wilson

  (Dec 30th)

  I’ll have you know that after last night’s conversations my computer has finally cooled down enough for me to use it again. I just want you to know that I am thinking about you.

  Have a good evening. Your forever friend, Callii

  ***

  From Levi Stone (One hour later)

  You know, I was thinking today, as I was going blowing, that whoever pulled you and me together was brilliant. How did they know, and how could they? Now I’ve given Satan his do for many, many years. He’s been around for eternities and knows what to do to lead us along and take us down through our every little weakness. When I was a kid I used to think that he wouldn’t outsmart me, there was no way, but boy was I naive. But on the other hand, what if the crowd in Paradise pulled the strings—your clan and mine, conspiring together to help us both out. That would be pretty brilliant too: my mom, your mom, my dad, my son, and on and on. Do you have many on the other side yet?

  Anyway, I was just thinking—pretty heady stuff. And before the initial lightning bolt, I didn’t even know you were single, available, would be interested, or anything like that. They had to push my head down and rub my face in your photo to get my attention. And then they sent electricity shooting through my brain and old, old memories surging through my mind to ensure that I would stay focused. I just thought I’d mention it. That’s all, just thinking, Levi

  P.S. And then you showed interest in me, even in the situation that we’re in. How would they know? And just so you know, I’m leaning towards the crowd in Paradise. I guess that’s called faith.

  Your friend, Levi

  ***

  From Levi Stone

  Jan 1st

  It’s the middle of the night and I’m sure that you’re snug in bed right now party girl. There’s a story behind me being up at this time of the morning again, but you don’t want to hear about it. I hope you had a good time last night, catching up with all your single friends. Is there anything interesting going on with any of them? I caught many snowflakes last night, in fact you roused me from my slumber, but you shouldn’t ask where they landed.

  Here’s wishing you an excellent year, beginning with Disneyland.

  Your friend always, Levi

  ***

  From Callii Wilson (Two hours later)

  Good evening Mr. Stone,

  How is your first day of the New Year going? I do want to hear why you were up at 4:00 in the morning on the first day of a new year when you should have been sleeping. You have my full attention. I have spent my day shopping. Does that surprise you? I also spent a good part of it cleaning out cupboards. I have enough expired food to supply a third world country. What a waste. I guess I should learn how to eat at home more often so the food I do buy doesn’t expire on me. I guess I will make that a New Year’s resolution. It will be one of many that I won’t keep. What are your resolutions, or are you smarter than I am and don’t make any?

  What makes you think I was with my single friends last night? For all you know I had a hot date—or not! Six of us got together in Sugar City at a friend’s house. We ate and we talked, and we ate and we talked some more. (Cheep, cheep, cheep, talk a lot, pick a little more.) Cheryl Bradford was one that you would know. Do you know Sherry Stone Barber? It’s the same name as your sister—funny huh? She was there too. We all decided to go on a cruise or something together. We are in the planning stages still. Who says being single isn’t fun and games?

  Sorry this is so short tonight, but I am going to head for bed soon. I’m pooped. Shopping can wear a person out.

  Thinking of you, Callii

  From Levi Stone (Two hours later)

  Hi Callii, I sure like you—I wanted you to know that. Sleep well. I hope this e-mail didn’t wake you. I’ll write more tomorrow.

  Good night from your old flame, Levi

  ***

  From Levi Stone

  Jan 2nd

  Good morning Callii, so how did I know you were out with your single friends Friday night? Hmmmhhhh? It must be a disconcerting thought that I am keeping such close tabs on you. I’m sure that you’re concerned, so let’s play detective, be logical, and break down the possibilities.

  I could be clairvoyant. We both know I get messages from the other side—that’s documented. Could that be it?

  Or maybe I have hooked up on e-mail with your old friend, Tommy Thompson. I’m sure that he drives by your house about three times a day just to keep an eye on you, (Can you hear his heart thumping?) and he just sends off the information he gathers to me—for a nominal fee of course.

  Of course a stronger possibility is that Sherry Stone Barber is somehow related to me. She’s a cousin who’s quite fond of me and she’s a secret plant. We share everything and always have. We go back a long ways.

  Or maybe I’m simply a bit twisted and have tapped your phone line. I’m head over heels in love with you and I’m the jealous type. I can’t stand the thought of you being with anyone else, so I make sure I know where you are at all times, because I am totally obsessed with you.

  Or maybe Cheryl Bradford Smith is my secret plant. Rick Sundstrum is a mutual friend and she is the liaison to not only you, but also all other mutual friends of Rick and I.

  But actually, and I’m sorry to inform you of this, but Mary Lou and I have a strong admiration for each other. It was love at first sight, you know. There was something about that push up bra and that eternal grin. You didn’t know that she has a cell phone did you? She keeps in touch at all times. She’s very sweet and I think we’re going to be friends forever. She’s a ke
eper, and our relationship is rolling right along.

  Or could it be the fact that uncle Chester lives in the apartments across the street from you. He is great friends with the neighbor behind your house, and between the two of them they keep you covered at all times.

  And the last and only other possibility that I can think of is that Mary, the one that lives with me, has a contract out on you. I’ve stumbled across her plans and she’s watching you closely. She knows where you are at all times!

  And that’s about it, I think. Can you think of anything else?

  Oh wait, there is one other likelihood. It’s a fairly simple little thought, really, but it’s quite possible that you were all over one of those popular little social websites on Thursday night. After all, you probably sent something out to all of your friends, and there is a distinct possibility that I am included on that friends list. So there you go, after flexing our brains a bit, we have finally figured it out! And by the way, after much prayer and consideration, I have received no further communication from the other side since last August, but I kind of wish that I had—for both of our sakes. It would be so nice if all of my friends up there could just shoot me out a little message so that I’d know what the Hell I’m doing sometimes. But alas, this world is a world of faith and not knowledge, so I’m left to struggle through on my own, with only a little help from my earthly friends—and that puts a lot of responsibility on you, my dear.