Honor

by Sherryl Woods

“We’ll talk about it when you’re out of here,” she said evasively.

  Every bit as stubborn as his father, Kevin wouldn’t let it go that easily. “You won’t back out?”

  Lacey drew in a deep breath and met his gaze evenly. “Of talking?” she asked. “No. I won’t back out.”

  Kevin sighed then, obviously content with that much of a commitment. His eyes slowly drifted closed. He was still clinging to her hand, the touch apparently as much comfort for him as it was for her.

  * * *

  Kevin knew he was going to have a fight on his hands. He’d seen that much in Lacey’s brilliant blue eyes, even when she’d reluctantly agreed to talk about the future. For some reason a fight didn’t scare him anymore, not half as much as the thought of losing her forever.

  Besides, nothing about his relationship with Lacey had ever been easy, not from the day he’d told his parents about her, anyway. Before that, they had spent long, quiet hours talking, sharing innermost thoughts that no boy dared to share with his buddies. Lacey’s gentle smiles had brought sunshine into his life from the day they’d met.

  More than simply his friend, she was his social conscience. She was the first person to make him realize that not everyone was as fortunate as he was, that he had an obligation to look beyond his own narrow world. From the first moment she had looked at him like a hero, he’d wanted to prove himself worthy of her.

  Then Brandon had started throwing his weight around, threatening Lacey, scowling at Kevin, swearing that the Halloran name would be sullied forever if he dared to marry a woman lacking the requisite Boston pedigree.

  The truth of the matter was that Brandon had been afraid. He’d spent his whole life making plans for the day when Kevin would take his rightful place at Halloran Industries. But Kevin hadn’t been interested. Brandon had blamed Lacey for that. He’d accused her of ruining his son’s life, of forcing him to choose between her and his heritage.

  Infuriated by the unjust accusation, Lacey had faced Brandon down, her shoulders squared, her chin jutting out, her eyes filled with fire. Only her hands, clenched at her sides, gave away her nervousness.

  Her voice steady, she had said, “You’re the one making him choose. I want Kevin to be happy. If Halloran Industries makes him happy, it’s fine with me. But he says he wants to do something else with his life.”

  Kevin had never been more proud of her. Brandon had appeared stunned by her spunk and by her blunt words. He’d turned to Kevin. “Is what she’s saying right? You don’t want to work with me?”

  “It’s not that, Dad. You think of Halloran Industries as some sort of family dynasty. I need to prove myself. I don’t want something that’s handed to me.”

  “You’re just one of those damned hippies. Just look at you. Your hair’s too long. You dress like a bum.”

  “I dress like everyone else.”

  “Not like everyone else in this family,” Brandon said in disgust. “You think we should be ashamed of having money. Well, dammit, I worked for every penny we have. So did your granddad, and you will, too.”

  “You’re acting as if clothes are the only things that matter. What about having a social conscience? Doesn’t that matter at all to you?”

  Brandon slammed his fist down on his desk. “You act as if you invented it. You’ll have to work for what you get at Halloran, same as I did. And you’ll be expected to share with the community, the same way I have, the way your granddad did.”

  “It won’t be the same and you know it. You think writing a check covers you for all eternity. What about fighting for what’s right, fighting to make a difference? That’s what I care about. That’s what I want to do with my life. I just can’t see myself making fancy fabrics for the wealthy when people are going hungry.”

  “And what about the people who have food on their tables every night because we provide them with jobs? You think that doesn’t count for anything?”

  Kevin had been at a loss to argue that point. Somehow he’d been so certain back then that he could find ways to make his life count, to better things for thousands, rather than the mere hundred or so employed by Halloran Industries.

  Lacey had stood by him when he’d walked away from the Halloran money, turned his back on his family. As he remembered, he thought perhaps those were the best years of their lives. They had struggled. At times they hadn’t had two nickels to rub together, but it had been okay because they’d had dreams and they’d had each other.

  They’d worked side by side to help people who didn’t have nearly as much, people who didn’t believe in themselves.

  Educated in business and drawn by an idealistic notion of making the world a better place, Kevin had applied his skills in a series of low-paying and offtimes unrewarding public service jobs. For several years he found the sacrifices he made worthwhile. He was filled with satisfaction and hope. He’d never once been tempted to touch his trust fund for himself.

  Then he’d realized that for every instance in which he made a difference, there were a dozen more about which he could do nothing. Increasingly frustrated after nearly fifteen years of struggling, he was finally ready to listen when his father pressed him yet again about joining Halloran Industries.

  It hadn’t been difficult for Kevin to justify his eventual acceptance of the offer. Perhaps from a position of power, he would be able to make the changes in society that up to now had eluded him. And, as Brandon pointed out with distressing accuracy, his beautiful Lacey and his wonderful son did not deserve to live like paupers just so Kevin could make some obviously misguided political statement.

  Like so many other idealistic children of the sixties, he figured he had finally grown up.

  Kevin also recognized that Brandon’s request was his awkward way of apologizing for misjudging Lacey, his way of making amends for years lost. Whether Brandon had made the gesture for himself or for Kevin’s mother, Kevin felt he owed it to his father and to his own family to try to make it work. Lacey had been elated by the reconciliation, if not by the decision to join Halloran Industries.

  Kevin had joined the company more than a decade ago and there had been no regrets on his part, not at first, anyway. He threw himself into the job the only way he knew how—heart and soul. Only now, with his marriage and his very life at stake, was he beginning to understand what Lacey had been saying all along, that the cost might have been too high.

  When he’d awakened earlier to find Lacey standing beside his hospital bed, he’d been reminded of those early days. He’d seen the familiar tenderness and compassion in her eyes. He’d detected the faint trace of fear that had reminded him of the scared girl who’d stolen his heart when he’d been a mere boy.

  He had wanted more than anything to tell her everything would be all right as he had so often in years past. But for the first time in his life, he wasn’t so sure he could rectify things. He just knew he had to try, that the vows he’d taken nearly thirty years ago still meant something to him.

  Kevin could only pray that they still meant something to Lacey, as well.

  Chapter Four

  Lacey heard the phone ringing through a bone-deep haze of exhaustion. The shrill sound brought her instantly awake.

  Kevin! Something had happened to Kevin, she thought as she fumbled frantically for the phone, her heart hammering.

  “Yes, hello,” she said, her voice still scratchy with sleep.

  “Lacey, it’s Dana. I’m sorry if I woke you.”

  Lacey tried to shake off her grogginess. “It’s okay, dear. I was just taking a nap. I didn’t get much sleep at the hospital last night. Is there news? Is Kevin okay?”

  “He’s doing well,” her daughter-in-law reassured her. “Jason called about an hour ago. He’d been in to see him earlier. He said Kevin looked a hundred percent better than he did when we left last night. What about you, though? Are you okay? Yesterday must have been—” she hesitated, then said “—well, it must have been difficult with things the way they’ve been between
you and Kevin.”

  The last part was said in an uncertain rush, as if Dana wasn’t sure she should even broach the subject of Lacey’s relationship with her husband.

  Hoping to avoid any further probing, Lacey deliberately injected a cheerful note in her voice. “Other than being tired, I’m just fine.”

  The reply was greeted with a skeptical silence. “Could we have lunch?” Dana asked finally. “I’ll pick something up and bring it over, if you don’t feel like going out.”

  “Maybe another time,” Lacey said evasively. Dana had an uncanny knack for getting to the heart of things. Her directness was one of her charms, but Lacey wasn’t sure she was ready to talk about what she was feeling—not until she understood it more clearly herself.

  Before last night, it had been months since Lacey had seen Kevin. Then to see him in a hospital bed. It had been her worst nightmare come true. Anxiety, anger and love had each taken turns, leaving her thoroughly drained and confused. How could she feel so much for a man she didn’t even think she knew anymore?

  “Are you anxious to get back to the hospital?” Dana questioned.

  Lacey might have grabbed at the excuse, if she hadn’t known the implications. “No. Actually I hadn’t planned to stop by until this evening.”

  “Then there’s no reason for me not to come over,” her daughter-in-law declared decisively. “I won’t let you put me off. You need someone to talk to and it might as well be me. Who knows these Halloran men better than you and I do? I’ll be there in an hour.”

  She hung up before Lacey could think of a single thing to say to keep her away. Besides, maybe Dana was right. She did need to sort things out, and Dana knew as much as anyone what these Halloran men were like once they started with their bulldozer tactics.

  Brandon’s warning, combined with Kevin’s plea for another chance had taken their toll. Lacey was already dreading going back to the hospital, fearing that she would succumb to the combined pressure without giving the decision nearly enough thought. Maybe Dana could help her to stiffen her resolve.

  A shower did its part to revive her. By the time the doorbell rang, she’d swept her hair back in a French braid and pulled on gray wool slacks and the cheerfully bright, blue sweater Dana had given her last Christmas.

  At the door Dana shrugged out of her coat, then looked Lacey over from head to toe and nodded in satisfaction. “Everyone should have a mother-in-law who looks like you. You’re a walking advertisement for my designs.”

  Lacey grinned. “You look pretty snappy yourself. How much longer do you figure you’ll be able to wear that outfit?”

  “About another hour, if I skip lunch,” Dana complained as she headed for the kitchen with her armload of carryout food. “I couldn’t get the waistband snapped as it is. Fortunately the sweater covers the gap. If I’m this bad with three months to go, what will I look like by the time I deliver? Jason will have to roll me to the hospital on one of those carts they use for moving heavy crates.”

  “Believe me, he’ll be too excited to worry about how you look.” She studied Dana’s sweater, a bold swirl of hot pink on a neon green background. “A new design? Just looking at you cheers me up.”

  “That’s the idea. It’s for the mass market line. What do you think?”

  “I think you’re going to make a fortune for that designer who’s added them to his collection and for Halloran Industries. Brandon must be ecstatic.”

  Dana rolled her eyes as she spread a selection of deli salads on the kitchen table. “Actually Brandon is more interested in the timetable for producing his great grandchild. I swear he would take Lemaze classes with me if Jason would let him. Jason has already had to stop him from checking the references of the instructors.”

  “That man needs to find a woman of his own. Maybe then he’d stop meddling in all our lives,” Lacey said as she put plastic plates, mismatched stainless flatware and paper napkins on the table.

  Dana’s eyebrows rose a fraction. “Still roughing it?”

  “It is a far cry from the Halloran china and silver, isn’t it? You should have seen Kevin’s expression when he saw it.”

  “He’s been here, then?”

  “Yes, when I first moved in. He left convinced that I’d lost my mind. Brandon agreed. Jason, also, probably, though he’s too polite to say it to my face.”

  “Well, we know why Kevin would hate it. As for Brandon, he can’t imagine anyone not being madly in love with his son or grandson. He also thinks the Halloran life-style is the primary selling point. I agree with you that he needs to find some woman and fall in love again. Better yet, he should have to fight to win her over. I told him exactly that just the other day.”

  “What did he say?”

  “That a girl my age shouldn’t be meddling in the love life of her elders. I don’t think he saw the irony.”

  “He wouldn’t,” Lacey agreed. “Brandon thinks his interference is a God-given right as patriarch of the Halloran clan.”

  Dana’s expression turned quizzical. “Do I detect a note of bitterness?”

  “Bitterness, resignation, maybe a little frustration.”

  “He’s been cross-examining you about the separation again, hasn’t he?”

  “Brandon, Jason, even Kevin from his hospital bed. None of them seem to get it, even after all this time.”

  “I do,” Dana said with such quiet compassion that it brought tears to Lacey’s eyes.

  She blamed the rare display of emotion on stress and gave her daughter-in-law a watery, grateful smile. “I think maybe you do. I didn’t leave out of spite. I don’t hate Kevin.”

  “Quite the contrary would be my guess,” Dana said. “It hurts, doesn’t it? It hurts to see someone you love changing before your eyes and feeling totally helpless to stop it.”

  Not for the first time, Lacey was astounded by Dana’s insightfulness. “For a young woman, you sound very wise.”

  Dana shrugged off the compliment. “I watched my mother fade and then die after my father walked out on us. Then I saw Sammy turn from a wonderful kid into a teenager destined for real trouble. No matter what I said or did, it never made a difference. In the end all I could do was love them, anyway. Thank God Jason came along when he did. He’s the one who finally got through to Sammy.”

  Lacey patted her hand. “I’m sorry I never knew your mother. She must have been something for you to turn out to be so special.”

  Lacey caught the unexpected tears shimmering in Dana’s eyes before she turned away. The rare show of emotion surprised Lacey. Her daughter-in-law always seemed so composed.

  “Thanks for saying that,” Dana murmured. “Sometimes I forget what she was like before she changed. It’s good to be reminded that she wasn’t always so defeated, that there was a time when she was terrific and fun to be around.”

  Finally she faced Lacey again, the tearful, faraway look in her eyes gone. “You never met my mother and yet you have an instinctive understanding of her. At the same time, I wonder if you see the side of Kevin that I see at work.”

  “Meaning?” Lacey questioned cautiously.

  “Did you know that he personally went to the hospital to visit the child of one of the Halloran workers, when the boy was diagnosed with leukemia?”

  Startled, Lacey shook her head. It was something the old Kevin would have done in the blink of an eye, but now? She wouldn’t have believed it, if she hadn’t known that Dana would never make up such a story.

  “It’s true,” Dana said. “Jason told me he also gave the woman time off with pay to be with her son. And he sent the whole family off to Disneyworld for Christmas because the boy had always wanted to meet Mickey Mouse.”

  “Kevin did that?” Lacey asked softly.

  “He did. From what I’ve seen since I started working there, Kevin likes to make everyone believe that he’s all business, that the only thing he cares about is the bottom line. I don’t think there’s a worker at Halloran Industries, though, who hasn’t been touch
ed by his kindness at one time or another.” She smiled at Lacey. “I thought you should know. Maybe it will help to put things in perspective.”

  Lacey nodded. “Thank you for telling me. Kevin never did.”

  “He wouldn’t. He takes it for granted that it’s part of his job. That’s what I admire so much about him. He doesn’t think that being considerate, that caring deeply about his employees’ welfare is unusual. It’s just the way he is.”

  “Yes,” Lacey said, more shaken than she could say by the reminder of a generosity of spirit she had thought was lost, “it is the way he is.”

  Was it possible that things weren’t quite as hopeless as she had imagined?

  * * *

  Kevin thought he detected something new and oddly hesitant in Lacey’s blue eyes when she came to visit him that evening. She regarded him as if she weren’t quite sure what to make of him. Her assessing glance puzzled him.

  “I like your hair like that,” he began tentatively, wondering if it was past time to be wooing her with compliments, no matter how sincerely spoken. He yearned for the right to brush back the silken strands that had escaped the pulled-back style. “You look like a girl again. That sweater becomes you, too. It matches your eyes. One of Dana’s designs, I’ll bet.”

  A blush of pink rose in her cheeks as she nodded, making him regret how long it had been since he’d told her how beautiful she was. “It’s true,” he continued. “Sometimes I look at you and it’s as if time had stood still.”

  She grinned at that. “What’s gotten into you today? Is there a little Irish blarney in that IV?”

  “They don’t tell me what sort of concoctions they put in there. Maybe it’s truth serum. I do know I’ve felt a powerful need to see you. I worried you might not come back.”

  “I told you I would.”

  “Are you here because I’m at death’s door or because you want to be here?”

  She regarded him impatiently. “You are not at death’s door, so don’t try playing on my sympathy. You’re going to be just fine.”

  “If I rest,” he reminded her.