I'm Still Wifey

by Swinson, Kiki

  “So, how long have you and your girl been together?”

  “For about two years.”

  “Is y’all relationship serious?”

  “It’s what it is.”

  “And what does that mean?”

  “It just means that we’re together today. Who knows what tomorrow brings?”

  “Oh, so you’re on it like that?”

  “I’m just living life, sweetheart. That’s all,” Mark told me in a sexy but roughneck kind of way, which turned me the fuck on. I mean, here I am, sitting next to this fly-ass nigga who appears to have a little bit of dough, and he just told me that he has a girl back home in New Jersey. Now, how gangsta is that? Because he could’ve lied. But he didn’t. So I guess what they say is true: Women are always attracted to cats who already got wives or girlfriends at home. And I didn’t get that from the Hustler’s Manual, either.

  So tell me, who wants to be with someone that nobody else wants? Which is why I’m just now realizing why I couldn’t beat all of Ricky’s hoes off with a stick. So if this cat right here got all the ingredients I like, then we can probably get into something. Shit! Who says he’s got to be my man? I don’t.

  ***

  Our trip to Pentagon City didn’t last long at all. All of a sudden, Syncere gets a fucking phone call while we were in Macy’s, so we had to cut everything short. Nikki and I did manage to leave with two hot-ass handbags. Syncere copped her one by Salvatore Ferragamo and my new friend Mark copped me one by Charles David. He even let me throw in a belt because I agreed to go out with him tonight. I thought it was a fair exchange. And he did, too.

  Now after we pulled up to my apartment, I got out of the truck and Mark got out right behind me so he could hand me my bags. The way he stood over me gave me the chills. And I mean in a good way, too. It reminded me of how Ricky used to stand next to me when he wanted to grab me up and fuck the hell outta me. So I was loving it. And the fact that he was beginning to make me feel like he was my protector, got me open. But nevertheless, I will still be on high alert with my heart. He won’t get me off guard like Russ did. And that’s a promise.

  “What time you want to go out?” Mark asked me.

  “Ummm,” I began thinking to myself as I watched Nikki standing at the driver side door giving Syncere a goodbye kiss, “What about eight?” I finally said.

  “Okay. I’ll be back here at eight. So be ready,” he commanded. Then he reached over and hugged me. I was about to fucking melt because this nigga’s body felt good. And he smelled good on top of that. So there’s no doubt in my mind that he’s going to get this pussy.

  Truly it is going to be a priority that I see what he’s working with because, if the dick is good, then me and his other chick is going to have to share him. Shit! All the other scandalous hoes do it. And since I’m tired of being the nice one, it might be time for me to join their club.

  “I’ll be ready,” I told him.

  “A’ight,” he said and then he hopped into the passenger seat of the truck and left.

  Back in my apartment, Nikki took a seat on my couch, smiling from ear to ear. She couldn’t stop talking about Syncere and the handbag he bought her.

  “So, whatcha think?” she asked me.

  “About what?” I played dumb.

  “About Syncere.”

  “He’s okay, I guess.”

  “His truck is hot, huh?”

  “Yeah. It’s nice,” I agreed. But it wasn’t all that, for real. I mean, anybody can add a navigational system and a couple of TVs to their whip. So, what’s the big fucking deal?

  “Can you see me and him together?” Nikki pressed on.

  And even though I did not want to touch that subject, I got up the guts to answer her anyway, “Yes, but only if he doesn’t start playing them stupid-ass games niggas be playing.”

  “Well, I think he’s a pretty straight-up guy. So we’ll probably be all right.”

  “I hope you’re right. But just in case he does start flipping the script, have a backup plan. ’Cause nigga’s like him, with money, always got some shit up their sleeves. So keep your eyes open.”

  “I will. But it probably won’t be necessary. I mean, look at this,” she instructed me, as she pointed to her new handbag. “I haven’t ever had a guy buy me expensive shit like this, so there’s got to be an interest somewhere.”

  “Look, I’m not saying that there isn’t. All I’m saying is that you need to watch out for this guy because he got plenty of dough and trust me, them hoes out there in the street knows it. So come rain or shine, you’re going to have some competition. And if you feel like he’s worth fighting for, then you’d better get geared up ’cause them chickenheads out there don’t care. They will get on their knees and suck your man’s dick right in front of you, if they have to. So be prepared, is all I’m saying.”

  Nikki laughed at me as if I was telling her a joke. So I said to her, “You think it’s a joke, huh?”

  “No.”

  “Well, I hope not, ’cause this shit is for real. And clearly I would hate to fuck a bitch up behind you. But I will.”

  “Ahhhh...” she began to say as she got up from the couch to rush over to where I was standing. “I love you so much!”

  “I love your crazy ass, too,” I assured her as we both embraced one another.

  “But you’re going to stop falling in love so fast with these niggas out here, ‘cause all of them ain’t good for you.”

  “I know that.”

  “Well, you better act like it.”

  “I will. But let’s get off of me for a second, ‘cause I ain’t the only one ’round with an expensive pocketbook.”

  “Whatcha talking ’bout?”

  “You know what I’m talking about. I noticed how you were looking at Mark.”

  “And how was that?”

  “Like you were falling in love or something.”

  “No, I wasn’t,” I said, and then I burst into laughter.

  “Yes, you were. But it’s okay, because Mark looks good as hell. As of matter of fact, he looks just like a taller version of Taye Diggs.”

  “I thought the same thing, too. And you know I love me some Taye Diggs.”

  “Yes. I know. So are you going to go out with him?”

  “Yep. I sure am. And I’m going to make him take me to that new Italian restaurant off Laskin Road, too.”

  “Whatcha gon’ wear?”

  “Probably a cute little T-shirt and a pair of my Apple Bottom Capri jeans.”

  “Oh girl, you’re really trying to start something because as soon as he sees you in those things, his dick is going to get hard as a rock.”

  “That’s the idea,” I commented and then I laughed.

  “So can you see yourself messing around with him?” Nikki’s questions continued.

  “I don’t know. But I’ve thought about it.”

  “Does he have a girlfriend?”

  I sighed and said, “Yeah. But, she’s back in Jersey, so she wouldn’t be in the way at all.”

  “Does he have kids?”

  “He said he doesn’t.”

  “Must be nice, ‘cause ol’ Syncere got four of them running around.”

  “Well, damn!”

  “And you can say that again. But I ain’t going to sweat it, because all of ’em live back in New Jersey with their mamas, so I ain’t got to deal with them,” she replied, throwing her hands in the air as a sign of relief.

  Anyway, we continued on chatting for about another hour or so. Then we settled down in my bedroom while I raided my closet for a hot pair of shoes to wear with my jeans. It took me some time, but with Nikki’s help I finally pulled it together. So I’m going to look ill tonight.

  Gettin’ it Popping

  Mark called me from his cell phone and told me that he was about to pull up at my front door. So when he blew his horn, I grabbed the handbag he bought me earlier today and walked outside to meet him. And to my surprise, this nigga was sitting in the
driver’s side of a little-ass Ford Focus. I couldn’t believe it! And I wanted so badly to make a U-turn and go right back in to my apartment, but I did make the deal to go out with him. Besides, it’s not like I’ve got something else to do. So fuck it!

  “Whose car is this?” I asked immediately after I got into the car.

  “It’s mine,” Mark said with pride. “Why? What’s wrong with it?”

  “Don’tcha think it’s a little too small for you?” I asked jokingly, even though I was serious as hell.

  “Nah. It’s just right,” he replied and then sped off.

  “So where we going?”Mark continued, giving me complete eye contact. And I mean, this cat was eyeballing me down, but I held my ground and stared back.

  “Let’s go to this new place off Laskin Road called Café Venice. I heard their food is bananas!”

  “Well, let’s go then,” he replied and then looked back at the road.

  To make the mood of the drive more interesting, I got up the nerve to say, “Did you miss me?”

  “Nah. But I been thinking ‘bout cha, though.”

  “Ahhh, that’s messed up!” I commented, nudging him in his arm.

  “What’s messed up about that? I just said that I been thinking about you.”

  “Well, because missing me and thinking about me are two totally different things. But since you said that you’ve been thinking about me, I would like for you to tell me what your thoughts were?”

  “Well,” Mark started saying, “I been thinking about how pretty you are.”

  “Oh, that’s so sweet!”

  “Wait! I ain’t finished.”

  “Well, go ’head, then,” I encouraged him.

  “And I’ve been thinking about asking you to let me spend more time with you.”

  “You ain’t got to ask me. ‘Cause I’m sitting right here. And just so you know, if my company is ever needed by you, then I am there, okay?”

  “A’ight,” he replied, as he continued to drive us in the direction of the restaurant.

  Now as soon as we got there, the hostess escorted us to our table, handed us menus and told us that our waiter will be with us in a minute. Mark took this time to look over his menu. I sat back in my chair to collect my thoughts, ’cause this nigga is looking good. I mean, his Caesar is tight with the light side burns all trimmed up nice, which makes his chocolate skin complexion look even better. Not to mention his skin is pimple free. He ain’t even got a razor bump on his entire face. So trust me, this nigga is gorgeous and handsome as all get out. And that iced-out chain he got ’round his neck is only making matters worse for me.

  I’m really starting to like this cat. Even though I know shit ain’t going to jump off like I would want it to. And I’m just being realistic. I mean, come on now. Who am I kidding? This cat isn’t going to want me after I tell him I’m pregnant with the next cat’s baby. So there’s no future with him. But I am going to enjoy his money and his company while it lasts ‘cause I’m so tired of being lonely.

  “So, what are you going to order?” I wanted to know.

  “Probably this lasagna.”

  “Well, I’m going to order the Napoli shrimp Alfredo.”

  “Damn. That sounds good.”

  “I heard it was good, too.” I replied and then our waitress walked up to take our order. We ran everything down to her and sent her on her way.

  Meanwhile, Mark and I got into a more intense conversation.

  “You said you didn’t have a man, right?”

  “Yes.”

  “Well, who be keeping you company at night?”

  “My pillow. Why, you want the job or something?”

  “Oh, I would love to get the job.”

  “Well, all you got to do is act right.”

  “Act right, huh?”

  “Yep.”

  “How?”

  “Just continue to keep it real with me. You know, how you did when I asked you if you had a girl and you told me yeah?”

  He nodded.

  “Okay, then, keep shit going strong like that. I don’t care what it is. ’Cause I’ma do the same with you. That way we can avoid drama. God knows that I’ve had enough drama in my past with my soon-to-be ex-husband.”

  “Oh, stop fronting. You know you ain’t gon’ divorce that nigga.”

  “Yes, I am. I’m done with his trifling ass and his three baby mamas. Now, they can have each other. And I mean that.”

  “Does he be trying to call you?”

  “Sometimes. But not as much as he used to. I guess he done caught the hint. ’Cause I told him, ‘Don’t call me! Call all them hoes you fucked around on me with.’”

  “Damn! That’s messed up!”

  “Nah. What’s messed up is the fact that he was fucking around behind my back with one of my hair stylists. Then later on, after he gets locked up, my house and a lot of my shit in it got seized and auctioned off by the government. Now I got to live in a little-ass condo. So you tell me who got the bad end of the stick?”

  “Yeah. You got played. But you gon’ be a’ight, beautiful. ’Cause I got faith in you,” Mark told me, looking dead in my eyes once again. And that shit tore me up inside. Sparks started flying every damn where. And believe it or not, my pussy started tingling too. I guess me and him might have a connection going or something. The chemistry is about flow. I can feel it.

  Now once our dinner date was officially over, which was around eleven o’clock, we rolled on back to my place. When we got there, I told him to make himself comfortable in the living room on the couch and watch some T.V. while I changed my clothes. And since I was on a mission to make him drool at the mouth, I slipped into my red coochie-cutter satin pajama shorts with the satin red top to match.

  But when I went back into the living room to show off my goodies, this nigga was knocked out, asleep. So I tried to wake him, but he wasn’t budging. I guess all that Rémy he was sipping on at dinner really got his ass toasted. And now I’m just sitting here with nothing to do. I mean, he could have at least waited to go to sleep after he seen my sexy-ass PJs. Shit! I also wanted to give him a sneak preview. Ya know, sit on his lap, slob him down and let him grind on me a little bit, so I can see how big his dick gets when it’s hard.

  But I’m five minutes too late. Damn! What a fucking waste! Anyway, I got up and grabbed a blanket from out of my linen closet and laid it across him. And while I was doing this, his cell phone started chirping like crazy. But this nigga still wouldn’t budge. So you know what I wanted to do? Yeah, I ain’t going to front. I wanted to reach in his pocket and pull his cell phone right on out so I could see who was calling him this time of the night.

  But I decided not to play myself because he could be testing me. Not only that, it’s way too early in the game for that bullshit. So I left it alone. And then when I was about to walk away from him, I noticed that most of his money had fallen out of his pocket. Some of it was on the couch and the rest of it was on the floor. I picked all of it up. Every fifty and one-hundred-dollar bill was crisp, and looked like it had just came from out of a bank.

  As I began to stack all the new bills together, I couldn’t help but count them as I put them back in sequence. And when I was done, I ended up with was eighty-five hundred, which was crazy because this wasn’t all the dough he had. I could see another stack of folded bills sticking right out of his pockets from where I was standing. And I’m thinking that from the thickness of the other stack, that it’s got to be at least four g’s.

  But truthfully speaking, that’s not what I need to worry myself with. What I need to do is worry about how in the hell I am going to get this dough back into his pockets, before he wakes up and finds this shit in my hands. Boy, there’s no telling what he’ll say or do. And I ain’t trying to find out either because I want to spend some of this real soon. So you know I got to play my cards right.

  Meanwhile, I am going to tuck this money up under his side and call it a night. That way he’ll be able to see i
t as soon as he gets up. And that’s just how it’s going to be.

  ***

  That next morning Mark got up before I did, and when he realized that he had fallen asleep on my couch and I was lying in my room in my own bed, I heard him and them big ass feet he got trotting back towards my bedroom.

  So I pretended to still be asleep when he walked up to my bed and took a seat on the edge of it.

  “Hey Kira,” he whispered.

  I went into actress mode and said, “Yeah,” as I squinted my eyes like I was trying to adjust them to the light.

  “I’m getting ready to bounce,” he told me.

  “What time is it?” I asked him, playing the role as I began to rub my eyes with the tip of my fingers.

  “It’s almost eight-thirty.”

  “Why you leaving so early?” I started pouting.

  “Because I got some stuff to take care of.”

  “Well, when am I going to see you again?”

  “I’ll come back by here tonight, if you want me to.”

  “I would love for you to come back. But what time are you talking about?”

  “I don’t know. Maybe seven. Eight.”

  “That’s a good time. I should be out my shop by then.”

  “Well, a’ight. But I’ma call you before I come, okay?”

  “Okay,” I said.

  Now as soon as I gave him the green light, Mark patted me on my ass and then he stood up. So, my comment to him was, “Don’t start nothin’ you can’t finish.”

  “Oh yeah,” he replied smiling.

  “Yeah,” I said in a convincing manner.

  “Well, we’ll see about that later,” he continued smiling and then he started stepping backwards in the direction of my bedroom door. I got up out of the bed and followed him. I felt like it would be very appropriate to walk him to the front door. But I also wanted to show him what he had missed out on last night.

  So right before I was able to walk ahead of him, I pulled my satin shorts up a little bit more above my waistline so he could see my ass cheeks. And I made them jiggle too. Because after he leaves my house, I want him to think about my pretty, phat, round ass in between the times he’s not thinking about business.

  “You think I can get a kiss before you go?” I got up the nerve to ask before he got a chance to leave.