The Right Side of My Pillow

by LaShawn Vasser

  While Cole and Doug were the best of friends, the same couldn’t be said for her and Elise; even though they had known each other for years and traveled in the same circles. To keep their spat from escalating, Doug deftly reached under the table to squeeze Carmen’s knee in an attempt to get her to relax a bit.

  Cole could see that Elise was about to give Carmen hell. The two women were like oil and water. He knew dinner with only the four of them was a bad idea, but he let Doug talk him into it anyway. Never again. Cole interrupted Elise before she could get started by putting his arms around her shoulders, and rubbing his hands up and down her arms. “Sweetheart, I’m sure we can all agree that we hope whatever is going on in that kitchen ends well.” He had never been more thankful than when a waitress arrived with their bill. It just may have prevented World War III.

  “Hi, I’m Natalie. My apologies for the delay in bringing your check.” Her brown eyes were warm and friendly. “As you can see there is a lot of excitement at Mario’s tonight. And, since I’m your third waitress for the evening, your drinks are on the house.”

  Cole and Doug reached for the check at the same time. “You got it last time, Doug. I’ve got it tonight.”

  “Good.” Doug laughed. “It’s not like you can’t afford it. You make a hell of a lot more money than I do especially with today’s acquisition. As a matter of fact, you can buy dinner for the foreseeable future.”

  Talking about money always made Cole uncomfortable. Instead of responding, he turned to Natalie and gave her a smile that made her knees go weak. Yes, she was mesmerized, and it wouldn’t take much to have her ripping off all of her clothes if he asked. As he took the check from her hands, Natalie stuttered, “J-j-just let me know when you’re ready.” Before she had a chance to leave, Cole had one more question. “Excuse me. The first waitress we had tonight, Jade Anderson, has she left for the evening?”

  Natalie looked perplexed. “Jade Anderson?”

  “Yes. She’s about five foot five, dark hair, hazel eyes…”

  Elise sat as quietly as a porcelain doll. She tried to keep her facial expressions from showing her irritation that her boyfriend was asking about another woman.

  It finally dawned on Natalie. “Oh…you mean Jade Lockwood. No. She hasn’t. Actually, the ambulance is for her. Brenda, waitress number two was with her when she collapsed, and that’s why you now have me.”

  Before Natalie could finish responding, the paramedics were wheeling Jade out of the restaurant on a stretcher.

  Cole’s eyes followed them and in a split second, he made a decision. “Doug get the check for me. I’ll make it up to you later. I need to find out what’s going on with Jade.”

  Elise whipped her head around. She heard him, but couldn’t believe what he was saying. “Wait…what? Why do you need to personally find out? I mean come on—I hope she’s okay too, but this is ridiculous. Can’t one of your assistants handle it?”

  Cole grabbed his coat. He didn’t mask his frustration as he addressed her. “Elise, that shade of green is not very attractive. I told you that you have nothing to be jealous about. Jade and I were childhood friends, and I just want to make sure she’s okay.” He turned to Doug. “Can you take Elise home?”

  Elise was shocked. He couldn’t possibly be serious? Did he really think she was going to let her boyfriend chase after some woman? A gorgeous woman at that.

  Doug was a bit confused himself. He didn’t understand Cole’s need to dash off and check on someone it seemed he hadn’t talked to in years. But they were friends; sometimes you don’t understand your friend’s actions, you just go with it. “Yeah, of course. It’s no problem dropping you off Elise.”

  “That won’t be necessary, Doug.” Elise turned to Cole. “If you’re going to check on your friend then I’m going with you.”

  He was wasting time. The paramedics were already out the door. “Fine. Then, let’s go.”

  *****

  Jade groaned as her eyes fluttered opened. She was on the hard, cold floor of the kitchen with a bright light shining on her face. It hurt to think, breathe, or move so she didn’t even try. Her only goal was to remain perfectly still. “It looks like she’s coming around.” Many voices were talking, seemingly all at once; some familiar but most unrecognizable. Jade felt her body being moved, then lifted into the air and placed on something soft. A warm blanket was placed over her body and it felt heavenly. Why was she so sleepy? It was threatening to pull her under. No. She had to wake up and get those drinks to table six. Jade was going to kill whoever put those bags of sand on her eyelids. They were entirely too heavy. Just as she was about to succumb to the warmth and darkness, she felt herself moving. Her eyes lifted slightly.

  Her voice was almost inaudible. “Wait. What’s going on? Where are you taking me?”

  A man with gentle eyes looked down into hers. “You’re going for a little ride. We’re taking you to St. Mary’s Emergency.”

  Slowly, Jade moved her head from side to side. It hurt. Everything hurt, but if she could just lie down for a while she’d be okay. “N-n-no. You can’t. Really, it’s not necessary. I’m just tired. I might even have the flu, but I’ll go to the clinic tomorrow. I can’t afford an ambulance ride or St. Mary’s.”

  He smiled warmly. “St. Mary’s is the closest hospital where you can get fully checked out. Unfortunately, since you have a pretty high fever, and you completely passed out, we need to make sure you’re good to go. Don’t worry about anything else but that right now.”

  Jade didn’t have time for this. One more thing to add to the long list of bills she couldn’t pay. She didn’t even have health insurance. Tears started to leak from the corners of her eyes as she was wheeled outside and loaded into the ambulance. Hopefully, this little adventure wouldn’t take too long because she had to get up early tomorrow for her cleaning shift.

  An hour later, Jade was lying on an emergency room bed with an I.V. drip in her arm, an oxygen mask covering her face, and listening to a doctor tell her that she was going to be admitted. The culprit—pneumonia.

  Chapter 5

  Three days later, Jade was fully dressed and sitting on the edge of her hospital bed clutching the sheets with one hand, while talking on her cell with the other.

  Her voice was strained. “Mr. Smith, I just need another week. I promise that I’ll pay you the rest of the rent. I wasn’t even aware of that. What? You’ve already rented out my apartment?” Her voice hitched with desperation. “What am I going to do? That only gives me two days to move all of my things.” Jade closed her eyes as she pressed her fingertips to her temple and rotated them in circles. Forcing herself to take a deep breath, Jade let it out slowly in an attempt not to freak out. “Are you sure there is nothing else you can do? Is there another apartment available in our building? I’ll take anything. There isn’t?” She paused for several seconds. “Well, I guess you have to do what you have to do.” A moment later, Jade disconnected the call and dropped her chin to her chest. She’d been evicted. This was a disaster.

  Cole hadn’t meant to eavesdrop, but he had been standing at her door while Jade was on the phone. The defeated slump of her shoulders and her bowed head pulled at something deep within. He cleared his throat to announce himself. “Cricket?”

  The frown etched on her face became even more pronounced when she turned around to meet Cole’s eyes. “Please call me Jade.”

  “Sorry. I’m not sure why that’s so hard for me to get used to.” He walked farther into her room rubbing the back of his neck. “How are you feeling today?”

  Jade bit the bottom of her lip to keep from screaming all of her frustrations. What was the point? The sound of defeat was evident when she responded. “Good enough to be released today, I guess.” Jade was angry about everything, but more than anything she was emotionally exhausted. Unfortunately, she didn’t have any time to deal with her feelings. Not when she only had two days to figure out where she was going to live before being put out on the streets.
If Cole hadn’t been standing there, she would have at least given herself a moment to cry. It seemed no matter how hard Jade tried she just couldn’t get ahead.

  Now wasn’t the time to feel sorry for herself, and while Cole wasn’t one of her favorite people, she was grateful he’d somehow managed to have her moved into a private room. If it had been left to the hospital Jade would have been released the very next morning, since she didn’t have any health insurance. That could have been a real problem considering she had pneumonia in both her lungs. “I never thanked you for having me moved here. Thank you.” However, she wouldn’t allow him to think she was indebted to him. “Things are a little tight right now, but I promise to pay you back whatever it cost.”

  “Just worry about getting better and we can figure the rest of it out later. Oh…these are for you.” Cole handed Jade a bouquet of daisies. “If I remember correctly, you used to love them.” Her heart felt tight as she looked down at the flowers. She had a flashback of Cole picking some from the park in Marymount’s garden to put in her hair when she was around eleven years old. Cole kept talking. “I stopped by the night you were admitted, but I’m not a blood relative so they wouldn’t let me up to see you. Then, I had to go out of town on business for a couple of days. When I got back I found out you were still here.”

  Jade didn’t take the flowers. She continued to stare at them then slowly lifted her eyes to his. “Why are you doing this? Why are you here?”

  He tilted his head as if that was the silliest question he’d ever heard. “I was worried. I wanted to make sure you were going to be okay.”

  “Don’t you think you’re about ten years too late to be worried about me?”

  “Cricket…”

  All of the anger about everything in her life bubbled to the surface. Jade screamed at the top of her lungs. “My name is Jade! JADE. You don’t get to call me that anymore. EVER.”

  Her burst of anger surprised him. Cole put his hands out in a sign of surrender before speaking very slowly. “Okay. Got it. Jade. Clearly you’re upset with me. Although, I’m not exactly sure why? I should be the one pissed at you.”

  “Are you serious?” She was dumbfounded.

  A nurse stepped into her room looking from Cole to Jade. “Is everything all right in here?”

  Jade wanted to say her entire world was falling apart around her. Instead she mumbled, “Everything is fine.”

  Cole released a breath because he honestly didn’t know what she was going to say. The nurse gave him a dirty look. “Well, this is a hospital. Please keep your voices down.”

  He waited for her to leave before speaking again. “Jade, what happened? What happened to us? We were so close. Even after all these years, I still consider you my only family. I’ve thought about you almost every day since I left the Marymount House.”

  “People who care about each other don’t make promises they can’t keep, and they certainly don’t abandon the people they say they love.”

  “Abandon? What are you talking about? I never abandoned you. You disappeared on me.”

  Jade rolled her eyes. “You’re a liar. I guess fancy colleges and being surrounded by people kissing up to you all day taught you how to do that, huh?” She rapidly blinked back her unshed tears. “You promised me when I turned eighteen, you’d come back for me. You left me all alone to fend for myself in that hell-hole for two years.” Her words came out in a whisper. “You promised you’d come back, but you never came.” Jade didn’t understand where the tears came from. Nobody kept promises. She knew that. He was no different than anybody else.

  Cole was in disbelief. His heart was beating fast. Did Jade really think he would just forget about her? Just leave her behind? He loved her like a sister. There was no way he would do that. “Jade, I came back for you, but you had already left.” Frustrated, Cole ran his fingers through his hair. “What was I supposed to do? I couldn’t throw away my scholarship. I kept my promise. I worked my ass off to save up enough money to come and get you on your birthday, and when I came, you weren’t there.”

  “I was there Cole! I waited all night until Ms. Lockwood told me I had to leave because of the rules.”

  “I’m telling you. I came for you. When I couldn’t find you, I searched for you as best I could, considering I barely had two nickels to rub together. I spent an entire week in that shitty town trying to find you. I only left because I had to get back to my classes. That was my ticket to getting us both out of poverty and to a better life. But, I still made phone calls, checked hospitals, the newspapers, even area morgues trying to find you. I looked everywhere I could think, but I couldn’t find you. When I finally finished school and got a job, I looked for you some more. It was like you vanished into thin air.”

  “Why didn’t you call me during those two years?”

  “How? On what phone? I mean…I tried a few times at the Marymount house, but you seemed to never be there when I called. You didn’t have a cell phone, and even if you did, you know they would have never allowed you to keep it in that place. They were too scared someone would record something or call the police.”

  He was right about that part. “Jade Anderson did disappear. She left the state and got married.” She stared deeply into his eyes. Long moments ticked by as she tried to determine if he was telling the truth. Cole looked so sincere. But how could he be? If she hadn’t actually waited until Ms. Lockwood put her out, she would have believed him. Jade was done with allowing people to lie and hurt her. That was all anyone had ever done since the day she was born.

  He was surprised, closer to shocked. “You got married? To who?”

  “I married Kevin. But, it didn’t work out.”

  “Kevin Lockwood? The Administrator of Marymount’s son?” Cole put her flowers down on the bed next to her.

  “Yes. He had his own place and took me in. Otherwise, I would have literally been on the streets.”

  Cole was slow to respond because Kevin had answered the door the night he’d come to get Jade. Using a bullshit excuse, Kevin would not let him inside the house. He’d also told him that Jade wasn’t there. She had been there all along. The bastard always had a thing for her and held a grudge. Cole had beat the crap out of Kevin once after he made Jade cry, and promised to really hurt him if he even looked at her again. So, he married her? None of this made any sense. Cole switched gears. “What did you do with the money I sent you?”

  “What money?”

  “Every payday, I sent you a note and money.”

  Jade shook her head. “I didn’t get any money from you. You left and the next time I saw you again was on the news.”

  The anger that was building inside of him was turning into a slow burning rage. “I sent money Jade. Had you got the money you wouldn’t have been on the streets even if we didn’t hook up that night.”

  “No. If it weren’t for Kevin, I would have been out in the cold.”

  Incredulous he responded. “So you married him out of gratitude?”

  “Don’t you judge me! I was a young girl, with no job, no money, no education, and nowhere to go. He took me in. One thing led to another, and when he asked me to marry him, I said yes. So I became Jade Lockwood.”

  Jade was angry with herself for allowing herself to shed tears over Cole’s abandonment and her poor decisions. My goodness, it was something that happened so long ago. “It doesn’t matter at this point why you never came. Life goes on, and that happened years ago.”

  Slowly, Cole sat down next to her. One thing he could never deal with was her tears. He hated to see her cry and used his thumb to gently wipe them away. She flinched, and it broke something within him. Cole quickly put two and two together. He didn’t know if she would believe him if he told her that Kevin lied to them both that night. But he knew one thing for sure, before he could tell her the truth, he needed to regain her trust. “It matters Jade. I. Was. There. It’s also just as important to me that you know there wasn’t a day that went by that I didn’t think
about you. The first thing I did when I got my first real paycheck was hire a private investigator to see if they could find you. But, I was looking for Jade Anderson, not Jade Lockwood. I still have the receipts to prove it. Seems like they could have at least found a marriage certificate.”

  “I moved around a lot and changed my name a few times.” Big watery eyes gazed up into his. There was so much hurt in them, but there was also a small spark of hope. It was evident that Jade’s life had been hard, and Cole just wanted to make it all better. He wanted his Cricket back. It was silly, but she had always felt like home and Cole had felt adrift for far too long. He paused for a minute. “Look Jade. I know you may not believe my side of things right now, but my only motive for being here is because I’ve never connected to another living soul in the same way that we connected. I know you understand what it’s like to know that your bloodline begins and ends with you. Sometimes, it’s an overwhelming pill to swallow. You and I, we are kindred spirits. We’ve lost so much time over what I know has to be a huge misunderstanding, and I don’t want to waste another minute. Whether you feel the same or not, you’re my family in every way that matters. I wasn’t able to be there for you over these last few years, but you’re not alone. Honestly, just being around you, I feel like I’m not alone anymore either.”

  Jade swallowed down the knot in her throat as she clasped her fingers together. It was official. She was crazy. There was no doubt about it because she felt the same way. He’d lied to her, abandoned her, and betrayed her trust. Yet, just being in his presence stopped her feeling of free falling. There had to be a clinical name for her brand of crazy. Jade also had to admit that she was tired of carrying the weight of the world on her shoulders all by herself. Not that she was ready to let Cole anywhere near a place where he could hurt her again.

  Cole could only hope that he was getting through to her. He tried to approach the next subject delicately, but there was no other way to say it but to say it. “Also…I couldn’t help but overhear your phone call earlier.”