The Right Side of My Pillow

by LaShawn Vasser

  Quietly, she responded. “You don’t seem messed up to me. Do you think maybe you’re just scared to make a commitment?”

  Frustrated, Cole ran his hand over his face. “Who knows? It’s not like I have any role-models to judge it by.” He shook his head. “My fault. You just wanted to watch a movie not listen to me whine about my problems. That’s why I pay a therapist. I didn’t mean to lay this heavy stuff on you. Let’s finish the movie.”

  Jade couldn’t be mad at him for wanting to change the subject. Truth be told, there was a part of her that was relieved about Elise. Jade re-focused her attention back to the movie.

  They sat in silence eating popcorn, drinking wine, both lost in their own thoughts. Jade reached into the bowl for more popcorn at the same time as Cole. When their hands touched the energy in the room change. Jade couldn’t breathe. For a long stretch of time, they just stared at each other. He was first to pull away and break eye contact. “This popcorn is good. I haven’t had any in a while.” Was she the only one who felt the electricity? Probably. It had always been one-sided. Jade was just thankful that Cole hadn’t noticed the goosebumps all over her arms.

  He turned his full attention back to the screen, then spoke into the darkness. “Finally. That Nicole girl in this movie is gorgeous. I can’t believe it took that guy so long to make love to her. If I were Davis, there is no way I would be wasting time being angry.” Cole laughed. “I’d have her legs wrapped around me every moment we weren’t asleep. Hell, maybe even in my sleep too.”

  The mere thought of Cole in that way created a tingling sensation between Jade’s thighs. She squeezed them together hoping it would go away. It didn’t help that the sex on-screen between Nicole and Davis was hot.

  Cole looked over at Jade. “Sorry. I shouldn’t have said that to you. It’s something I would have said with Doug or one of the guys. You’ve always felt like one of the guys.”

  His words were like throwing cold water all over her. One of the guys. Great. No, it was better than great. Her emotions were so damn confusing, and his words put things back into proper perspective. “No, really. It’s okay. I just…I would never have guessed you were attracted to black women. I don’t remember you dating any when we were younger.”

  A crooked smile appeared on his face as he tossed the last of the popcorn into his mouth. “It wasn’t like there were that many. You were the only one even close to my age in Marymount. I certainly don’t have a preference. When I was younger, black, white, whatever, I just needed them to be hot and willing.” He laughed. “I still want them hot, but with a lot more substance now.”

  Jade shook her head. “You’re such a guy. Men are always thinking first with the wrong head.”

  “Ha. So are women. I can’t tell you how many women want to use me to blow off steam.”

  “That’s gross. Sex for sex’s sake. I couldn’t do it. I want more. I’ll wait until I can have more.”

  “So, you mean to tell me you’ve never had sex just because you were horny?”

  Jade squirmed. “No. I haven’t.” She’d had sex for many reasons with Kevin but almost never because she was horny.

  An image of Kevin popped up into Cole’s mind. Had Jade really loved him? Kevin was such a major ass. He still couldn’t believe she’d married him of all people. In his experience, people don’t change that dramatically, so it was highly unlikely, that he changed his asshole ways. The thought that Kevin touched Jade intimately made his skin crawl. His curiosity was getting the better of him. He asked as casually as he could. “So, how long have you and Kevin been divorced?”

  At the mention of his name, Jade’s hands shook just a little. Her voice was low. “I told you Kevin was off-limits, but if you must know, we’ve been divorced for three years.”

  He immediately regretted the question. The feeling of light-heartedness in the room changed. “Sorry. Off-limits.”

  Jade finished the rest of her wine and stood. She gave him a small smile. “It’s late. I have an early day tomorrow, so I’ll finish the movie later.”

  Cole could kick himself. She had told him that she didn’t want to talk about Kevin. Yet, he couldn’t seem to leave it alone, and that made her want to leave. There was nothing he could do but watch her go. The loss of her presence was instant the moment she stepped out of the room.

  Chapter 13

  Cole went to open the front door. “Hey.”

  “Hey.”

  He could tell she was in a mood. “This is a surprise. What made you decide to drop by?” He stood back so Elise could come inside.

  She walked past Cole slightly then stood up on tip-toe to kiss him softly on the lips. “So, I need a reason to come over? Never mind that we haven’t spoken in over a week.”

  Cole rubbed the back of his neck. “Of course not. I just wish you had given me a heads up. That’s all. And, if I remember correctly it’s you that haven’t been answering my calls.”

  “I needed some time to calm down. I put a lot of work into the dinner party and it just seemed as if all of your attention was focused on Jade.” She sneered her name. “We both seem to be wishing for a lot of things lately. I still haven’t accepted why my boyfriend would let some random woman come and live in his house without taking my feelings into consideration.”

  Exasperated, Cole blew out a breath. “We’ve discussed this Elise. Cricket is having a rough time, and I’m in a position to help. I’m going to help her.”

  “Cricket has asked you not to call her that. She wants you to call her Jade yet you insist on doing it. You can’t just do whatever you want, especially when there are other people involved. And, whatever thing you two once had she is obviously over it. Or, maybe she’s playing the part of the damsel in distress. Who knows? Men seem to fall for that crap every time. After all, she is living in your house.”

  “If it makes you feel any better Jade wouldn’t do that, and I’m just trying to help.”

  “How the hell would you know? You haven’t seen her in years. If you’re actually attempting to help, then get her a hotel room or put her up in one of the many properties you own. Don’t bring this woman into your house! Did you take into consideration how this might make me feel or how it might look to our friends?”

  “Elise, I’ve tried to reassure you because you’re important to me but you also know me well enough to know, I couldn’t give a damn about what other people think.”

  Frustrated didn’t even begin to explain how she was feeling. Elise needed a different approach. The glint in his eyes let her know that he was digging in his heels. Unless Jade left on her own, she wasn’t going to go anywhere. “Don’t you think at the very least; I deserve to know exactly how you even know this woman? And, why she is so important to you?”

  Internally, he battled how much to divulge, but Elise did deserve some answers. “Look, I met Jade when she was nine, and I was eleven years old.” Cole reached a hand out to caress Elise’s cheek. “When I say we were like siblings. I mean it. She and I literally grew up in the same house. I watched over her, and she watched over me. You can draw a straight line from her pushing and motivating me, during some of the darkest times in my life, to my success. I owe my sanity to her. She could ask me for anything, and there is nothing I wouldn’t give or do for her. It’s that simple.”

  Obviously, those weren’t the words Elise wanted to hear. “Those are some pretty strong feelings. Are you sure there’s not more there?”

  Cole pulled Elise by her waist into his arms and pressed a gentle kiss against her temple. “I promise you. I have never thought of Jade in a romantic way and honestly couldn’t even imagine it.”

  His back was to the door, but Elise could see the hurt look on Jade’s face clearly when she walked into the house, just in time for her to hear Cole say those last words.

  Chapter 14

  Jade clocked out from work and walked to the parking lot. All she wanted to do was grab a shower, some food, and go to sleep. After getting into her car, she
put the key in the ignition and turned. Nothing. It didn’t make a sound. Immediately, she tried it again, and again—nothing. Jade pressed her forehead against the steering wheel as she spoke to herself. “Come on, please don’t do this to me.” After another moment, she lifted her head and turned the key again only to be rewarded with the same result. It was official the car was dead.

  She dragged herself out of her car and went back into the restaurant. Maybe Tommy could help her out. He’d jumped her car before. Sarcastically she smirked to herself as she thought that this was a great night for Natalie and Brenda to both have the night off. Jade couldn’t even hitch a ride to Cole’s with either of them. She threw her bag over her shoulder as she made her way through the employee entrance at the back of the kitchen to the bar.

  “Hey, Tommy.”

  He smiled wide. “What’s up, Jade.”

  “My stupid car won’t start. I hate to ask but could take a look at it?”

  “Sure, but it’ll have to wait until my next break. Mario’s been on the warpath.”

  “God, you’re right. He’s been a bear this week. That’s fine.”

  “Good. It’ll be about twenty minutes. Think you can hang out that long?”

  She laughed. “What else am I going to do?” Jade sat down at the bar. “Oh…I’ve meant to ask you something. Last Saturday I received a text from someone, but the number was blocked. Only a few people have my number.”

  “I know. It took me forever to get it, and you probably wouldn’t have given it to me either if your car hadn’t conked out.” Tommy leaned over the counter and lowered his voice as he flirted with her. “I think you have a thing against long-haired blondes with green eyes.”

  Playfully, Jade grabbed a hold of his hair and twisted it around her fist. “Your ponytail is pretty sexy, and if it were dark like Henry Cavill's, I just might put you at the top of my dating list.”

  Jokingly, Tommy smacked the bar. “Well, hot damn. I’m making an appointment to get it changed tomorrow. If I had known that’s what it would take to get a date with Jade Lockwood, I would have done it a long time ago.”

  He was such a playboy. Jade released his hair and laughed. She wasn’t remotely interested in dating anyone but especially not someone who used women for sport. “Seriously, did you by any chance give it out to anyone?”

  “Nah. I wouldn’t give out your number without your permission.”

  Jade chewed the bottom of her lip. “I didn’t think you would but thought I’d double check.” A cold chill went down her back wondering who could have sent her that text. It was absurd. She should probably let it go given that her suspicious mind sometimes took her to ridiculous places. Whoever it was hadn’t texted or called again. It was probably a simple misdialed number. No harm no foul.

  A high pitched female voice called out to her. “Jade? I thought that was you.”

  She recognized it immediately. Slowly, she turned around. “Elise?”

  Her pasted on smile couldn’t have been more forced. “I was in the neighborhood and thought I’d stop by to see you. It seems we keep missing each other at Cole’s. I’ve been dying for us to have some girl time.”

  Jade thought to herself, I bet. Tommy smartly walked away to assist a customer. Elise made herself comfortable on a bar stool next to hers. She crossed her model length legs as she pointed towards Tommy. “Wow. He’s yummy if you like the working man kind of thing.”

  Jade frowned. What was that supposed to mean? What other kind was there? When did being a working person become distasteful? Maybe Jade was reading too much into it.

  “You two were looking awfully close when I walked up. Is he a boyfriend?”

  She was fishing. Jade didn’t want to be rude, but she also didn’t want to entertain Elise either. Out of respect for Cole, she tried her best to sound friendly. “I’ve been busy with work, so I’m sure it’s been difficult to nail me down.”

  “Of course. I understand. Cole makes it even worse because he is so protective of you.” She laughed. It didn’t seem genuine, and her smiles never seemed to reach her eyes. “Do you know he wouldn’t even give me your phone number? Thank goodness us girls know how to get around silliness like that. I just took it from his cell phone.”

  Jade was pissed! Did Elise really just admit to going through Cole’s phone and stealing her number from it? She must have diamonds and gold between her legs because she couldn’t understand for the life of her what Cole was doing with this type of woman.

  “All the more reason I knew a trip over to Mario’s to see you was a good idea. Yes, I could have called, but I thought a face to face chat would be better. I said to myself why not just show up where you couldn’t run and hide.”

  Elise’s passive-aggressive comments had quickly turned the conversation in a bad direction. “What? Honestly, I think it’s pretty shady to take anything without asking permission especially my phone number. Also, why would I run away and hide from you?” Maybe Cole couldn’t see it, but Jade could tell from a mile away that Elise was a bad seed, and she didn’t want to be any part of it. She’d be a liar though if she didn’t also acknowledge that it had never been easy to see Cole fawn over any of his girlfriends.

  Elise placed her hands over her heart as if she were surprised. “I’m sorry. I only thought it would be a good idea for you and me to get to know each other considering I am his girlfriend.”

  Was she for real? Who was she trying to convince, herself?

  Calling on patience that she didn’t feel, Jade remained calm. “I know that you’re Cole’s girlfriend, Elise. But, more importantly, Cole knows it too.”

  “True. He does. So I’m sure you are well aware that he and I are very close, and it would only make sense that I would want to get to know you better.” Elise laid it on thick. She couldn’t sound any more insincere if she tried. “My goodness, if you’re important to him then you’re important to me.” All that was missing was a southern drawl. “I also wanted to make a couple of things very clear.”

  Jade highly doubted Elise wanted to get to know her better; but could certainly understand her being concerned with some woman who seemed to have dropped into Cole’s life out of nowhere, and was now living with him. Before Jade could say anything to try and smooth over the obvious ill feelings on the both their parts, Elise kept talking.

  “Men can be so shallow sometimes when it comes to women.” Elise gave Jade a head to foot once over as her facial expression reflected a look of distaste. “Temporarily, they can forget about proper breeding, their standing in the community, and everything else except for a piece of ass when it’s flaunted in their face. In some cases, you can even understand when the woman is, at least, attractive but in other cases...” Her voice trailed off as she continued to scrutinize Jade. “Well, in some instances, you never know what the lure could have been. I’m sure you understand what I’m talking about Jade.”

  Jade was finished trying to be civil. Elise came to see her solely to put her on notice about Cole. The façade of being friendly was just a poorly constructed smoke screen. “Elise, do you have a point to all of this?”

  The silkiness of her voice changed. It hardened. “Well, okay, I guess that I do, and it’s this—if you try to take advantage of Cole in any way with this helpless victim routine, I promise you that I will gut you like a fish.” She then had the nerve to bat her eyelashes as if she’d just invited Jade to church.

  She was about to say something else, but Jade stopped her from talking before she could make an even bigger fool of herself. “Okay, Elise. I should have stopped you earlier. I know who you are and what you are to Cole. I’m not interested in anything else save for getting myself together so I can move out. You obviously don’t trust him, or what I, myself, have heard him tell you about the nature of our relationship. So, you can drop the let’s be friends routine. After this conversation, I can’t even say that I’m not even remotely interested in forming any kind of anything with you.”

  Elise shru
gged. “That’s too bad. Well, I can appreciate your honesty. So, let me just say what I came here to say.”

  “Wow. You mean to tell me you haven’t already? There’s more?”

  Elise tossed her hair. “Look, since we’re laying all of our cards on the table, you should know that I don’t give a damn about the little friendship you had with Cole in some shit town forever ago. All I care about is the here and now. As long as you don’t get in my way, we won’t have any problems. But, the second I think your plans for Cole are more than just friendly…I promise I’ll make you want to crawl back into whatever hole you came out of.”

  “Well, since we are being brutally honest…” Jade leaned just a bit closer to Elise to ensure she heard every single word. “Let me make a couple of things clear to you too. I can promise you that you don’t have what it takes to gut me like a fish as you so eloquently put it, or anything else you can conjure up. And, while Cole may not see it, I see right through you. Fortunately, he’s a smart guy. It’ll only be a matter of time before he does too.”

  “I can’t imagine Cole would think too kindly of you talking to his sister like that, Elise.”

  Of all the people to witness this conversation, it had to be her. Elise didn’t understand her luck lately and didn’t even try to be cordial. She couldn’t stand her even more than she disliked Jade. “Carmen.”

  Carmen had quietly walked up to the bar the moment she saw Elise talking to Jade…alone. She knew that had disaster written all over it.

  Dryly, she returned her greeting. “Elise.”

  “Jade and I were just coming to an understanding.”

  She folded her arms across her chest. “Well from what I could hear it sounded like you were threatening her to me.”