The Right Side of My Pillow

by LaShawn Vasser

  “You’ve already had dinner?” That seemed to piss her off more than anything.

  “Yes. We had dinner.” He pulled her to him and rested his forehead on hers. His voice dropped to a sexy octave. “But, how about we have dessert?”

  Her anger seemed to dissipate just a little. “Do you mean it? Seriously? I know what you’ve said, but I’m feeling insecure about her.”

  “You don’t need to. Now, can we get back to dessert?”

  “I guess. But only if it’s sugar-free.”

  “You know, that I know, exactly how you like it.” Cole pulled her along behind him not just to pacify her but to get his mind off of Jade.

  *****

  Jade was up early. She’d received a call from Brenda about a job opportunity for a hostess position at a restaurant not too far from Mario’s. She thought it might work out well considering Tommy was never able to get her car going. It was dead and well past time to put it out of its misery. If she was going to catch the bus in time to make her interview, she had to leave in a few minutes. Jade was putting her glass of juice in the sink when Elise walked into the kitchen wearing Cole’s robe. She stretched and plastered on a huge Cheshire cat smile when she saw Jade.

  “Good morning.”

  Jade swallowed deeply and mumbled. “Morning.”

  A moment later, Cole walked in behind her wearing nothing but a pair of sleeper bottoms. “Hey. Where are you heading off to this early? I thought you had today off too.”

  Jade looked all around the room until her eyes finally settled on her hands. “Umm…yes. No. I mean, I have a job interview. My car died, so I need to catch the bus.”

  “That’s crazy. Why didn’t you say something? I have like six cars in my garage. Take one.”

  “That’s really okay, Cole. It’s no big deal.”

  “It’s a big deal to me. You know whatever I have is yours.”

  Elise rolled her eyes. He’d never been this giving with her. She hated Jade.

  “Come on I’ll take you to the garage.”

  They left Elise in the kitchen and walked down the hallway silently until Jade spoke. “Cole. We can’t do this.”

  “Do what?” He seemed clueless.

  “Elise is not happy about this situation, and I don’t blame her. I wouldn’t be either.”

  “What am I supposed to do? You need a car, and I have six. You need a place to stay, and I have six bedrooms. Does it matter that I want you here?”

  She stared him in the eyes. “Cole…I…” Jade thought about just coming clean. “We’re not kids anymore. You’re a grown man, and I’m a grown woman. What if…” Before she could say another word, Elise appeared in the doorway.

  “Did you figure out which car you’re going to drive, Jade?”

  His eyes searched hers. “What if what?”

  “Nothing.” Jade took the keys out of his hands that he offered her. “I’ll let you know if I get the job.”

  Cole watched Jade get in the car and back out of the garage. He stared until she was gone.

  He turned to go back inside. Elise glared at him before turning on her heels, walking away.

  Chapter 19

  The house was completely quiet when Jade came home. She’d purposely stayed away most of the day. Initially, she was relieved to think she might be alone since Cole’s car wasn’t out front. As she turned the corner toward the living room, the smell of burning sandalwood and the sound of it crackling and popping in the fireplace, let her know she’d been wrong. He was home. The soft reddish glow from the fire that illuminated against the wall was the only light that kept everything from being shrouded in complete darkness. That and a tiny incandescent lamp in the foyer by the main door.

  Jade pleaded with the gods. Please let him be alone. It would be mortifying if she was about to interrupt something between him and Elise. She took just a moment to stand outside the archway that lead to the living room to see if she could hear anything. Nothing. Maybe she could go a different route to get to her bedroom. Turning her head down the hall one way and then the other, she realized it only led back to the kitchen or toward the living room. Unfortunately, there was no other alternative to get from where she stood to her room. Put your big girl panties on, Jade. So what if he’s with Elise. She’s his girlfriend. Jade chastised herself and after a quick pep talk, squared her shoulders then turned the corner. Her eyes darted from the empty sofa and chairs, all around the room, until finally resting on him.

  Cole lie on the floor stretched out on his back with his hands clasped behind his head. His bare feet were crossed at the ankles while he stared up at the ceiling. He was alone. Relief washed over Jade as she released the pent up breath she hadn’t even known she had been holding. Then something else grabbed her attention. The softness of his face tugged at her. He looked so sad. It was written all over his face. Jade knew she should just keep walking, whatever was going on with him wasn’t any of her business. It was too bad her feet had a mind of their own as they walked softly into the room. “Cole?”

  He hadn’t heard her come in and wasn’t quite fast enough to hide the heaviness of his thoughts from his face. Immediately, his eyes connected to hers as he raised up on his elbow. “Hey. How did your interview go?”

  “I think it went well, but you never really know with those things. Where’s Elise?”

  “She went home.”

  Jade pointed her thumb over her shoulder. “I’m sorry. Cole, I can see this situation is hard on you. If you can just give me a couple of days, I can figure…”

  He stopped her in mid-sentence. “No. I want you here.”

  “But…” Her inner voice kept warning her. Jade. Just keep on moving. If you stay, you won’t be able to keep your secret. Did she listen? No. “Why is it so important that I’m here? We don’t have to live under the same roof to work on our friendship.”

  He stared at her for a moment hesitating as if he were fighting his own battle within. Just when Jade thought he wasn’t going to share anything with her, he raised himself completely up so that he was in a sitting position—arms resting on his knees—and spoke. “I have absolutely everything I’ve ever wanted only to realize something was still missing.”

  Jade was curious. What was he talking about? She walked farther into the room and perched herself on the edge of a chair directly in front of him. “I have my share of problems, but I can’t honestly say I haven’t had that one.”

  The feeling of being alone was sometimes so overwhelming that Cole was terrified he might lose himself in it, and no one would ever be able to reach him. He’d hoped Jade could understand. If she couldn’t, no one could. When they were younger, she’d always kept the extreme feelings of loneliness at bay and had been the only person to bring him back from the abyss.

  “Cole. I don’t understand what is it that you’re missing? I mean, you have everything.”

  Jade’s haunted eyes held her own secrets from her past but still searched his for answers. As hard as Jade tried to hide her, Cole could still see his Cricket inside of her. She was battered and bruised, but she was still there. Cole could also see an innocence and an honesty within her gaze that he’d been hard pressed to find with the people in his inner circle. He dropped his eyes from hers and focused on the floor. Cole took a deep breath before responding. “No, I don’t have everything. The truth is I hate my life and have no idea what to do about it. There is an emptiness inside of me that just won’t go away. Money, women, work…nothing seems to fill this giant gaping hole in my chest.”

  There was no hiding the surprise on her face. He meant it. Cole may have been good at hiding his emotions from most people, but she could still see through his façade because he let her. His heart was bleeding on the inside, and hers was literally breaking for him as he poured his inner thoughts out to her. Jade felt for the man sitting in front of her, broken. She understood the root of his pain. On occasion, she had felt it herself. The pain of not having another living soul on the planet to help
you feel grounded. Jade slid down onto the floor and kneeled in front of him. “I get it.” Gently, she reached out and touched his cheek lifting his eyes to hers. “But you can’t let it consume you. You’ve attained so much that a lot of us could only dream about. You have a beautiful home, a successful business that you’ve built from nothing, and can do just about anything you want with your time.”

  “Cricket…” He hadn’t even realized he’d said her nickname and neither had Jade. It almost sounded like a gentle caress to her soul. Things were gradually falling into their rightful place. “All of those things are material. Do you remember when we were kids and would dream about this stuff? I thought it would erase all this pain. It hasn’t.”

  “Okay, but you always dreamed of having a home so you could have a family of your own. You’re prepared Cole. You’re just a few steps away from happily ever after. Now, me on the other hand, I was always the one doing things that weren’t entirely thought out, but not you. I’m sure it’s probably natural to get to a certain age and start seeing your friends with roots and families of their own, and it’s making you yearn for them. It’ll come.”

  “I don’t think it’s that simple. I’m nowhere near close to settling down.”

  Jade whispered. “What about Elise? She has some serious expectations.”

  “That relationship is fragile at best. I’m not trying to hide who I am from her, it just feels forced. The problem is I’m not sure if it’s her or me. It really doesn’t matter because I would be a fool to bring a wife and child into my life when I’m feeling like this. What kind of father or husband would I be?”

  “I saw you with those kids at Serenity. You’re going to be an amazing father.”

  “I’m glad you think so because I’m full of doubt. Elise and I, we both have our own reasons for being in this relationship this long. I’m not quite sure love is at the top of either of our lists. Her parents drive Elise crazy and her dating an outsider gives her a perverse sense of pleasure. She doesn’t think I know that part, but I do. Me on the other hand, I seem to break up with one woman after another as soon as things start to turn serious. The only reason I haven’t already ended things with Elise is because I’m not sure if I’m repeating bad behavior or if there really isn’t anything between us.”

  Cole closed his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose.

  The pain etched on his face was so hard for Jade to bear. Without thinking, she leaned into him and gently pressed her lips to his. He stilled, and she held her breath. Neither of them moved for what seemed like hours but was only seconds.

  Slowly, Cole pulled away eyes clouded with confusion. What was she thinking? Jade’s face was burning with embarrassment. Quickly, she stood. “I’m sorry. I…I…” How the hell was she going to finish that sentence? She didn’t mean to what, kiss him? Was she crazy? She’d actually kissed him! After years of yearning and pretending, Jade finally kissed him, and it was nothing like her dreams. He didn’t pull her close into his arms or kiss her like she was the air he needed to breathe. Instead, he froze. She’d kissed him when he was pouring his heart out to her. He needed Cricket, but she gave him Jade. She didn’t know what to say, so Jade did the only sensible thing she could think of. She got up and high-tailed it out of there up to her room.

  Cole watched her leave. He sat stunned. What the hell had just happened? Did Cricket just kiss him? Yes! SHE had just kissed HIM, and he’d sat there frozen.

  Chapter 20

  Jade moved as fast as her legs could carry her out of the living room without running. She’d done the unthinkable. She kissed Cole, and he just stared at her blankly. Her face was wet with tears. Just as she was about to run up the stairs, he caught her by the waist and spun her around.

  “Cricket, please stop running and talk to me.”

  She turned to face him. “What do you want me to say? That I’ve loved you since forever? That when you left me my heart shattered into a million little pieces? That I hate Elise! Because I do. I absolutely hate her and all the other women that came before her. Especially today, prancing around here in the afterglow of making love with you.

  “I didn’t make love to her last night. We haven’t been intimate since you came back into my life.”

  “It doesn’t matter, because the mere thought makes me sick. And, I hate it! I hate feeling this way.” As if running out of steam, Jade’s voice almost gave out as she finished her confession. “More than anything, I absolutely hate the way you make my soul burn when I’m around you.”

  Before she could utter another word, Cole’s lips came crashing down on hers. He kissed her with a hunger and a fierceness he’d never experienced.

  There wasn’t a moment of hesitation before Jade wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him back with everything in her. She had been waiting forever for this moment. He hadn’t realized it, but so had he. The moment his lips connected to hers, all the pieces seemed to snap into place. Jade was home. He tore his lips from hers and ran his tongue down the side of her neck as they fell back onto his winding staircase.

  Jade’s body hummed in a way it never had before in her life. Her hands snaked up into his hair as she spread her legs wide for him. Cole moved in between her thighs, pressing his fullness against her heated core as he continued to place wet kisses on her neck, collarbone, shoulder, and down to the fullness of her breasts. It was a small miracle that Cole hadn’t ripped her shirt off. He managed to lift it over her head without ripping or tearing anything.

  Jade bit her lip as she watched his eyes pore over her body. She was so nervous. Unable to stand the scrutiny she whispered. “Is something wrong?”

  He slowly raised his eyes to hers. “You’re perfect. You’re so damn perfect. I want to lick you everywhere all at once so bad that I don’t even know where to start.” It was the lacy black bra that was almost his undoing. He bit his bottom lip thinking about pulling one of her taunt nipples that peeked through the lace into his mouth. The rapid rise and fall of Jade’s chest was an aphrodisiac he couldn’t resist.

  Bolder than she’d ever been, Jade removed her hands from his hair and unhooked her bra. Her voice was raspy. “How about you start here?”

  Jade closed her eyes and arched up into him the moment he sucked her nipple into his mouth. He feasted upon her body, and she loved it. His touch made her inner muscles throb with a need that scared her. What was happening between them, at its core was raw and primal. He thrust up into her body frustrated by the barrier of their clothing. She groaned. He groaned. Jade reached for his pants and unbuttoned them. She reached inside in search of his massive hardness that was going to give them both so much pleasure. He hissed the moment she made contact. He felt like silk over steel. Jade had no idea how all of him was going to fit inside of her, but she didn’t care. She’d waited too long for this moment. She grasped him and slowly began to move her hands up and down. Cole reared his head back and gritted his teeth. Jade was lost in the ecstasy she saw on his face as she continued to squeeze and stroke him. When she increased the pace, Cole thought he was going to explode. It was too early for that. He placed his hands over hers to slow it down and thrust his tongue into her mouth. Greedily he sucked as his tongue danced with hers. At the same time, he removed his clothing. When he tore his mouth away from hers to remove her pants, Jade had to catch her breath. Feeling him was one thing, seeing Cole fully aroused was another.

  She swallowed deeply. “I um…don’t think all of that is going to fit.”

  “I promise. It’ll fit.” His voice was deep and husky. “I’ll make sure of it.” He bent low grabbing Jade by the hips. He pulled her legs up over his shoulders before diving in between her thighs. His tongue darted inside to claim her. She screamed his name as her eyes rolled into the back of her head. His mouth was doing magical things to her. Cole devoured her as if she were a last meal. Her walls started to clench around his tongue as he continued to bury it deep inside of her body. “Cole…I…umm…”

  She fisted h
er hands into his hair. He felt the first tremors of her climax. Jade’s head thrashed from side to side while Cole continued to torture her with pleasure. Her body started to tremble and shudder as she splintered apart. He fastened his mouth to her as he drank his fill of her sweetness.

  “Oh my god.” Jade wasn’t sure if she were still on this side of heaven.

  Cole slowly let her legs down then leaned over her as he caged her within the safety of his arms. He positioned himself at her entrance. “Hold on to me.” Even though she hadn’t managed to catch her breath, Jade grabbed a hold of his arms. This was the moment she’d waited for her entire life. Cole kissed her deeply. This kiss was so erotic because it was the first time she’d tasted herself on his tongue. He thrust into her body. It was as if she were made for him the way she hugged him like a glove. There was a bit of pain, but it was worth it. He filled her completely.

  He rested his forehead on hers calling on all the strength he had. Everything within in him told him to go, but Cole needed to make sure she could handle it. He whispered near her ear. “Did I hurt you? Are you okay?”

  “I’m more than okay. I’m perfect.”

  Cole slowly pulled out then thrust back into her over and over and over again. He stretched her to her limits, but Jade matched him stroke for every delicious stroke. He rolled his hips up into her body as he continued to surge forward. He was nervous that she wouldn’t be able to take all of him, but she had and was giving it back to him in equal measure. Cole felt her start to spasm around him. It spurred him on as he thrust even harder. He shuddered, his orgasm taking him over. He gave her everything, all of him.

  Moments later, she came apart for him. He swallowed her screams with a kiss then exploded deep inside of her.