Love Delayed

by Love Belvin

  Expressionless, he stood there, staring at me from head to toe, not moving an inch. It wasn’t exactly what I was expecting. What was I expecting? Eager anticipation perhaps. But not this.

  His mouth finally opened and my heartbeat sped up. Then he closed it again and my breathing stopped. Stenton looked pained…certainly not up for what I was offering.

  His mouth opened again and I refused to give him a reason to say no.

  “We have condoms…all different brands and sizes for your choosing,” I blurted out and then tried to smile.

  He licked his lips and roughly brushed his face with a hand, looking away momentarily before returning his gaze to me.

  “I wasn’t going to say that,” he informed, gruffly.

  “Well, what were you going to say?” Why did I ask that? I told myself going into this plan that I wouldn’t give him even a window to exit again. We were doing this tonight. Now!

  He closed his eyes while taking a deep breath. My heart stammered in my chest and my palms grew clammy.

  “I was just gonna…” He shifted in stance. “I don’t get no lingerie or nothing? I was looking forward to ripping it off.”

  I cracked a quivering smile. Still unable to move, I let out the air I’d been holding. I don’t own lingerie. The closest thing I had to it were slips for church. I wore them under my usher uniform, and even those I shared with Ruth.

  But still, Stent made not one advancement toward me. He didn’t smile either. I arched a brow, goading him. Why did I do that…and so naturally? Stent brought out wanton behavior in me, forced me to push the barriers of my normal conduct. Apparently, it worked. In seconds, he pounced on me.

  “Uhhhhhh!” flew from my lungs as my back slammed into the firm mattress, and in an instant, Stenton was sucking my tongue from my mouth.

  White-hot excitement blossomed in my belly as his delicious virile scent assaulted all of my sense causing me to shiver. I almost couldn’t keep up with his rapid movements. My hands ran through the small and soft curls of his hair as I greedily pulled him into me. Then his clever tongue moved down my chin, my neck and then over to my clavicle. I lost it. My moans were involuntary, desperate. My pelvis pumped his waist with no particular cadence, and I began to resent the fabric of his clothing providing a barrier between us. Stent’s mouth moved sinuously to my breasts, sucking and pulling and gently scraping my nipples, almost to the point of pain. Never before did I teeter on pleasure and pain. My head lobed left to right in my torment. I didn’t know how to express my uncontrolled pleasure. I’d never experienced such unadulterated bliss. But I knew how to demand what I needed.

  “Stent…I can’t wait. Take off your clothes,” I cried out. Then I started patting the bed around me in frantic search of a condom. “Here. Choose one.” I handed him the first I could feel. “Hurry!”

  Stenton’s head rose from my belly and the glower of confusion he wore couldn’t be missed. He contemplated for a minute before shuffling to his knees and dousing his shirt. Then he bent to rid himself of his basketball shorts and boxers. His swollen pelvis came into view, and underneath his bush of hairs, his long and thick erection sprung out like a miniature baseball bat. Its ridges were prominent. Its crest, wide and engorged, with a bead of liquid at the head. I swallowed hard, unprepared for this part.

  How is he going to fit all of that into me?

  “You cool, Zo?” The tortured squeak in his baritone caused my head to jerk up.

  I bit my bottom lip and nodded my head casually, not wanting to ruin this. I was ready for him. When I observed the twitching of his appendage, I knew he was ready for me, too.

  As he applied the condom, I watched absorbedly. My clitoris throbbed a rhythm and speed that echoed in my core. My eyes dipped back down below and I studied the ink that went into his pelvis, finally getting the full view of the collage. His thighs were surprisingly muscular unsheathed. They were columnar: strong and dense with wirehair sprouting indiscriminately. I’d never witnessed anything as male. His waist was narrow and when I angled my head just inches, I could see the curvy muscles in his glutes.

  “Zo,” he almost whispered, voice still seemingly laden in despair. “You’re making that clicking sound with your throat again, baby.”

  I felt my chest rising and falling. The sight of my pebbled nipples and his contracting erection in the same view, just centimeters away, nearly sent me adrift.

  “Zoey, look at me,” his voice was now impatient, thick, and raw. My explorative eyes met his. “We don’t have to do this now. I don’t want you to think this is something you have to do to be in my world. I-I care about you…a lot.” He hesitated. “It’s not like that between us. You’re different—”

  “I love you.” I didn’t recognize my own voice. I sounded desperate and overcome like a sex kitten. “I’ve never loved anything like I do you,” My voice flowed more sensual and brazen than my nerves were composed at the time. “I’m crazy about you and I want it all. I want this.” I observed the deep caving of his chest at my confession. “And I want it now.”

  As Stent drew in a sharp intake of breath, his eyes grew. His long and wide chest nearly crashed into mine as his tongue hungrily flew into my mouth, ravishing me. I pulled him into me again by the back of his head and pushed my pelvis into him. When I felt the head of his thick erection rubbing against my slickened lips below, I knew there was no turning back. Instead of giving room to my escalating anxiety, I thrust into him. That’s when I felt the start of him, but it was like he hit a wall. My back bowed over the bed and head pushed into the mattress. My bottom lip remained in between Stent’s teeth. My breathing accelerated and I was panting, feeling dew sprout from my body. I saw his eyebrows knit together.

  “Go!” I urged, not wanting him to think I was backing out. Or that he should.

  He raised his hips and gently circled them; I assumed trying to gain deeper entry. It wasn’t working. No! I felt the tears rimming my lids. I had to do something and quick, too many factors working against my mission. I threw my arms around his neck and kissed him hard. Then I wrapped my legs around his waist and lifted my pelvis into him. Stenton grunted and plunged into me again, not making much progress. Fire shot through my belly and my legs trembled around him. His head flew up from my mouth.

  He knew.

  “Zoey!” he barked.

  “Shhh! No…no…no! It’s okay,” I panted trying to soothe his abrupt alarm.

  He rested on his elbows, plank style above me. His labored breath, hitting my face at a rapid rate.

  “Why didn’t you tell me?” he implored.

  “I didn’t think it was a big deal,” I whispered through the palpitating pain shooting through my groin.

  “That’s not a good explanation.”

  I exhaled. “Because I didn’t want you to turn me down.”

  “Turn you—” he sputtered. “Why would I do that? Did you plan this?”

  Since that first kiss. I nodded my head. Stenton blew out another breath. My legs still gripped his waist to hold him in place. He was still inside of me, throbbing. I was still in pain, impatiently waiting.

  He’s going to stop this.

  “I’m not your little sister, Stent. At least that’s not what I want to be anymore.”

  His angry eyes were like a smack in the face. “Is that what you think you are to me?”

  I nodded firmly.

  He snorted and I saw a lewd flash in his eyes. “You’ve been a lot of fucking things in my mind since last summer; a little sister has never been one of them.”

  Relief settled upon me like never before. Then I felt my panting return. My excitement resumed and determination reignited. But Stent was still motionless. I didn’t want to waste another moment. I felt stretched beyond capacity in my groin and even considerably pained, still I was ready to see this through, to give Stenton something from me that no one could take away from us, and I couldn’t get back.

  I tried to wiggle in spite of the ripping sting below. Ste
nt sucked in a breath and his eyes fluttered.

  When they opened he muttered inches away from my nose, “Now, I’m going to finish this because you seem to be so damned determined for some foolish ass reason.” He rocked into me and my breath caught in my throat. I thought that was a bland reason, but wouldn’t dare utter a complaint. He reared slowly and pushed in again. I could hear a groan from the back of his throat. “And because your pussy is so snug and warm and creamy that I can’t stop.”

  That was it. I leaped up, pulling him into my arms and began to rock with him through the pain. With each thrust the sting subsided. It took a minute or two, but he was eventually suctioning in and out of me with more ease. I started to feel the sweat on his arms and wiry back, his delicious scent blanketed me. Stenton lowered himself on his elbows, wedging my head into place and took my lips into his, wildly lashing through my mouth with hunger.

  This was a different side. Here was a level of intimacy I quickly understood could only be experienced through sex. In this act, he was giving me a different passion than he gave on the court. His biggest fans would never experience the outpouring of his innermost like I was in that moment with him. This was a different greatness, and we were making it together.

  Stenton’s moans grew to generous proportions. He was vulnerable, needy. His body rocked into me and several muscles held on to mine like he needed me. And that’s what I needed from him. I yearned to feel connected to him far beyond telephone conversations and text messages. I wanted a deeper bond. An exclusive attachment to him. I wanted inside of his very being, even if that meant allowing him inside of me.

  Wracked with pain from rubber rubbing against my rawness, I felt pleasure like nothing that was described by any of my peers who shared their sexual experiences with me. As we smacked into each other, the world turned off and an exclusive piece of Stenton came alive inside of me. Our heads lay side by side as his hips rolled over mine, in between my quivering thighs. His ragged breathing into the side of my face as my lips literally touched his ear. In no time, Stenton’s pants grew violent and uneven.

  “I can’t hold out,” he cried desperately.

  I didn’t know what that meant. It made me a tad nervous. The only thing that didn’t have me leaping from underneath him was that he was inside of me, and whatever it was causing this urgency in his body had emerged from our actions.

  “I can’t hold—” ripped from his lungs. I grew panicked. My grip on the wings of his broad sinewy back tightened. “Niñaaaaaaa!” he whispered in my ear like a carnal dream.

  I clutched him closer to my chest as his body quivered and then stilled, then his pelvis jerked a few times again before collapsing onto mine. I felt his wildly racing heart against mine. I felt the burning at the surface of my vagina. I felt him pulsating deep in my womb. I felt ecstasy.

  We remained that way until Stenton moved to alleviate his weight from my frame. I didn’t mind his heaviness at all. He’d now calmed down. He was no longer in duress. Still, I wanted to soothe him. When he rose to his knees, my eyes trailed from his glossy face, neck, chest, and down to his semi-deflated penis that was covered in a pink condom.

  “Is that…my blood?” I croaked out, feeling lightheaded by the consequences of my bright idea.

  Stenton scoffed as he pulled my arm from over my eyes. “Don’t go schoolgirl on me now. You weren’t so bashful when your hot ass was seducing me.”

  I braved another sight at the small puddle that I discovered beneath me. I felt my mouth collapse.

  “Uhn…hnnn. Look at the mess you made,” he continued to tease in a tone that made me want to cause more of a mess by him taking me again.

  I rolled my eyes. “It’s not that big of a deal. You act as if you’ve never seen a little bodily fluid before,” I shushed as I struggled to sit up; my muscles seemed to have locked into place.

  “Hold!” Stent ordered as he pulled the condom off then jumped from the bed, seemingly with a totally opposite disposition than my languid one.

  Within seconds, I heard the tub running from the other room. I maneuvered around, trying to assess the damage. No matter how gruesome the blood scene appeared, I couldn’t ignore the happiness blooming in my heart. I’d finally made love with Stenton.

  Or is that what we’d just done?

  Stenton jogged back into the main area of the room and held his hand out to me. Lazily, I wiggled off the high bed and wobbled into the bathroom. I could hear Stenton’s low giggles behind me.

  He ran a rather hot bath. I stepped in, trembling from my muscles being delicate. He clicked a wall device next to the vanity and calming music flowed into the room. Before joining me, he lowered the lights. Stenton’s long legs encircled mine and I experienced a new level of intimacy. He pulled me back to his chest and we laid in silence. So many things ran through my mind as I examined the beat of his heart.

  “Why so quiet, Zo?” his tenor created a rumbling in his chest against my head.

  “No reason,” I sighed.

  “Bullshit,” he replied calmly.

  Okay. I turned towards him, causing a disturbance in the water. “What we did…” I started, peering directly in his eyes. “What do you call that?”

  He examined my eyes for a while before murmuring, “Something I’ve never done before.”

  My eyes collapsed shut and I shook my head softly. That wasn’t good enough. “Did we make love, Stent?”

  “What do you call it?” he asked calmly.

  I licked my lips, strangely nervous about putting my feelings out there.

  “Would you have done it even if I’d told you I was a virgin? I mean…eventually?”

  Still unperturbed, he studied me more before taking me by the shoulders and turning me around and into his chest again. His arms encased me and he reverently kissed my forehead.

  “Zo, I can’t lie. What you did was foul. I should’ve known you were a damn virgin,” his tone laced with anger. But did he regret it? “You never let a man take you without prepping you first.”

  I tensed in front of him, separating inches away. “Prepping?”

  “Yes.” His fingers reached around for my chin and I turned my body completely to face him, my knees up to my neck. And when I did, my stomach flipped at the somberness of his eyes. “You don’t think I had my fantasies about our first time together? You ever think about how I wanted to kick off this part of our relationship? The way I crave to taste every inch of your body?” His eyes lowered to underneath my legs. “Especially there.”

  My gaze dropped embarrassingly and I swallowed hard. I hadn’t thought of any of that. I wasn’t convinced Stenton even wanted me that way. Suddenly, I was ashamed.

  “Just tell me you don’t consider me a brute now. Tell me that you don’t regret me indulging in your innocence and I can admit to you that I had the time of my life inside you for those few short minutes.”

  I exhaled as I turned my body and melted into him, feeling more secure.

  “You think too much, Zo. You didn’t have to plot to get me to hit,” he murmured.

  I snorted, “Oh, really? Like you would’ve made the first move before my thirtieth birthday.”

  I felt the rumble of his quiet laughter in his chest against my head. “I was coming. You’re just too damn fast.”

  “Yeah! The girl who kept her virginity until twenty, and had to trick a man by playing hide-and-go-seek in his mansion to get rid of it. Picture that.” I rolled my eyes into the air.

  Stent laughed and his arms held me tighter. We sat for a while. There was so much in the air between us, but I wasn’t savvy enough to confront it. The sound of Stent’s stomach growling pulled me from my sleepy state.

  “You’re hungry.”

  “Yeah,” he breathed lazily. “I didn’t have my usual protein drink after my run.”

  I started to get up. “Let me warm up dinner.” I don’t think I ever sounded so domesticated.

  Stent grabbed my wrist. “Relax for a minute. Soak your muscles.
I’m gonna shower and change the bedding before we eat.”

  And that’s what we did. We didn’t talk much for the remainder of the night. We weren’t troubled, just different. I sure as heck felt different. I felt full and…accomplished. I’d finally let go of my virginity to a man I loved. No matter what happened going forward—good or bad—I’d never regret giving it to Stenton.

  When we finally crawled into bed that night on clean bedding, I adjusted my body into Stent’s hard and warm frame and shivered when I felt his lips kiss my shoulder goodnight.

  The next day, I woke up to an empty bed. I knew immediately Stent was off to work out. I slowly made my way down to the kitchen. My body ached in the same manner it did after an exercise when I hadn’t for so long.

  After deciding on waffles, eggs and bacon, I slipped my earplugs in and got to work. I zoned out, frying bacon, whipping eggs and battering the waffle-maker. I was so engrossed in my head that I nearly dropped the tongs when Stenton grabbed me from behind. I snatched my earplugs out and turned to him, steam shooting from my ears.

  “Are you crazy?”

  He couldn’t stop laughing. He held on to his belly as he hurled over in laughter. I wanted an explanation, but he could hardly breathe. I gave him time to recover as I returned to cooking. He was still sweaty from working out. Stenton looked younger and peaceful when he laughed. Although we did a lot of that, it never got dull seeing him mirthful. I felt my anger about his scaring me ebb the longer he exposed his teeth.

  “What are you so engrossed in that you could be scared like that?” He pulled at my earplugs and listened.

  It was Marvin Sapp’s “In the Garden”, one of my favorite morning worship songs. He looked at me with a sober expression.

  I shrugged my shoulders. “Morning worship,” I offered while turning over the bacon.

  Stent returned a firm nod, being respectful of my unpopular practices, I guessed.

  “I guess you’re eating in your sweats because breakfast is served in less than five. This food won’t stay warm throughout a shower.”

  He raised his long arms then slapped them against the outside of his thighs. “If you accept me as is, I am.”