The Walls We Built

by Kassandra Garrison

  The Walls

  We Built

  KASSANDRA GARRISON

  To my MOM,

  the most selfless and beautiful soul I will ever meet.

  You are my confidant, my best friend, my biggest fan.

  I owe everything to you.

  “Love you mucher than the whole wide world.”

  One

  Sore thumb. Outcast. Loner. Nerd. Different. These were the labels placed on me all my life. Don’t get me wrong, I used to hate being branded those things, whether it was by others or myself.

  Since I could remember, my dad has called me his “old gal,” claiming my soul belonged in a much earlier time. The countless occasions I sat alone at recess or chose to read a book on Friday nights only proved his point.

  In every way, I was different from kids my age. In junior high, I read six hundred-page books while my peers spun the bottle. For my classmates, high school brought along shorts that covered nearly as much as a pair of underwear and shirts with a third of the material. Wearing jeans and a t-shirt, I walked the hallways waiting for the day I would be free from that place.

  Seriously? Whose idea was it to put so many teenagers in one building? It’s like a jungle but with pimples, hormones, and padded bras.

  In a small town like Cherokee Falls, Illinois, every person knew everyone else’s business. To stay hidden and ignored in a town like that was a sort of art and I had become a professional. And I know what others must have thought: what a lonely life.

  But I didn’t see it that way. All I needed was my dad and my books. And nothing would ever change that.

  The big question I know you’re dying for me to answer is what caused me to think like I do. See, my mom left when I was eight. Not only did she leave without a single word to me, but my brother left with her. They just disappeared without a trace. When I asked my father why she left us, he claimed it was his fault; she didn’t leave me, she left him.

  And every time he answered my relentless questioning with the same heartbreaking answer, I would crawl into his lap and assure him that I would never leave him. Flash back to the present and I’m being forced to do just that.

  But, Dad, I don’t want to leave you.

  His kind, brown eyes looked over at me from the driver’s seat as he weaved in and out of traffic in his old farm truck.

  You’re not leaving me, sis. You’re going to college so you can have a career and a future. I’ll be just fine.

  But who will help you with the harvest this fall and the planting in the spring?

  Believe it or not, Charlotte, I can handle the farm by myself. And your uncle and Cara can always help if need be. Now stop fighting me on this. You’re going to college.

  From the passenger seat, I rolled my eyes and looked up at the towering university building outside my window. A myriad of teenagers littered the lawn outside, sitting on blankets in the grass and congregating in huddles on the sidewalk. Dread washed over me as I saw not only new faces but familiar ones throughout the crowds of students who I would be attempting to avoid for the next four years.

  Now you’ve got everything you need, right? If not, let me know and I can come back.

  Dad, you’re not going to drive three hours to bring me something I can just buy at a store down the street.

  No, no, I know. But you can call me anytime and I’ll be here.

  I know, Dad. Thanks.

  He smiled over at me from the driver’s seat as he parked the truck in front of the dorms. We both climbed down from the truck and opened the back door to unload my luggage.

  The building was brick with concrete accents along the windows and doors, adding a sophisticated and old-fashioned style to the campus.

  As we walked through the dormitory hallway to the elevators, I noticed both boys and girls exited and entered various rooms. The dorm was coed? Great. That’s like putting rabbits in the same cage.

  My dad seemed nearly as uncomfortable with the presence of males as I was when we finally made it to my dorm on the second floor. I threw my bags onto the empty bed on the left side of the room before turning to meet his eye contact.

  I’m not sure how I feel about the dorm being coed, sis.

  Dad, you don’t have to worry about me. It’s not like I’m sending out any signals of interest to anyone soon.

  It’s not you I don’t trust. It’s boys. I know how they think and a beautiful girl like you…

  Dad, I’ll be fine. I’ll go to class and the library, run out for food, and stay in my room.

  He drew his eyebrows together in concern and looked around the room. His eyes landed on the opposite bed with a purple comforter already draped across the top.

  Well, try to make some friends. Don’t wish your life away. Get to know people and have fun… but not too much fun.

  The twinkle in his eye as he winked at me already made me homesick as I snickered and hugged him around his waist. Normally in a t-shirt and dirty jeans, my dad had cleaned up for the occasion with a button-up shirt and dark jeans. It was odd seeing my dad like that after seeing him on the farm for so long.

  As I stood on the sidewalk just outside the dorm, he gave me one last hug before getting back in the truck. He rolled down the passenger side window and smiled at me.

  You’re going to do great, Lottie. I love you.

  Love you too, Dad.

  His callused hand waved through the back window as he drove away from the dorms. I stood on the sidewalk waving until my view of the truck was blocked by surrounding trees. As I looked up at the dorm, my stomach dropped with the reality before me. This was my life for the next four years.

  When I finally made it back to my dorm through the busy hallways, I was no longer alone. My roommate was sitting on her bed, phone in hand.

  Her dark brown hair, pulled back in a high ponytail, was full of beautiful spiraled curls. She wore a light blue, summer dress and strappy sandals with pink lip gloss and flawless eyeliner to match. Clearly, she took the time to exfoliate and lotion by the way her warm russet skin seemed to glow.

  I looked down at my own outfit: a worn Beatles shirt, jean shorts, and flip flops. By the time I glanced back toward my roommate, she realized my arrival and jumped up from the edge of her bed.

  Hi, my name is Sophie. You must be my new roommate.

  Hey, I’m Charlotte.

  Are you going to the block party tonight? They’re going to have food and carnival games and music. It’s like a welcome party.

  No, I think I’ll just take tonight to unpack. Parties aren’t really my thing.

  She had since returned to her phone screen but looked up at my last statement. For a second, I thought she was going to drop her phone as quickly as she dropped her jaw. Her impossibly fast thumbs stopped in their tracks.

  Wait, what? Parties are so much fun! How else do you take a break from all the boring homework and classes?

  Um, I’m more of a reader.

  She seemed confused as she looked down at the box of books I was now unpacking on my small bookshelf.

  You’re telling me that you take a break from school with more reading?

  She shrugged her shoulders and sat back down on her bed with her eyes glued to her phone.

  Whatever floats your boat. But there will be tons of cute boys there, too. Or do you already have a boyfriend?

  I cleared my throat as her questions became more and more personal.

  No, I don’t have a boyfriend and I’m not really looking for one.

  Hm, suit yourself. If you change your mind, the party will be right outside our window in the courtyard.

  Thanks.

  I continued to empty my boxes as she set her phone down on the bed beside her and watched my progress.
/>   So where are you from?

  Cherokee Falls, Illinois.

  Never heard of it.

  Yeah, it’s a small town about three hours south of here. What about you?

  Chicago. Born and raised.

  I nodded, not quite sure how much information my new roommate was expecting from me. But having to live with someone who hated me would make the next four years of my life even more miserable, so I played along.

  My parents and sisters dropped me off yesterday afternoon so I’ve had a chance to walk around campus already. Can I show you around?

  My mind quickly tried to find the easiest way out of the tour. However, when I turned to reject her offer, her big brown eyes looked so excited that I found myself accepting. Maybe it would be easier to find my classes if she gave me a tour. And my dad did tell me to make friends.

  Sure, why not?

  Yay! Let’s go.

  She grabbed a hold of my hand and pulled me toward the door immediately. In the hall, Sophie addressed a handful of people by name and introduced me.

  This is Charlotte. She’s a real chill, small-town girl. One cool chick.

  The people to whom she introduced me seemed content with the description she gave of me as they greeted me with smiles and waves. Before I realized it, ten different people knew my name and which dorm I stayed in.

  I was extremely aware of my nerves by the time we finally passed through the exit doors into the courtyard. Preparation for that night’s event were well underway. Booths, food trucks, and workers littered the grass and sidewalks. Streamers and lights were draped between booths over the grassy paths of the lawn.

  Several people were decorating their booths, setting up carnival games, blowing up balloons, and lining up bottles. Sophie explained the block party was an annual event always thrown the weekend before the start of classes. She managed to fill every moment of silence with small talk.

  My little sisters are twelve and eight. Do you have any siblings?

  Um, no. Only child.

  The lie laid heavy on my heart as I looked down at my flip flops. For all I knew, my older brother was hundreds of miles away. And if I admitted the truth, I would prefer being an only child rather than have a brother who left with my mom without so much a note or phone call.

  Oh, you’re lucky. My little sisters would never leave me alone. They would destroy my makeup and wear my clothes when I stayed at friends’ houses.

  To my surprise, Sophie turned out to be a great source of information as she showed me where certain classes were held, where the library was, and where I could find food.

  Do you want to grab a bite before you go unpack for the night? There’s this taco place down the street that is amazing! And the laundromat is right next to it.

  I am starving. Thanks for everything by the way.

  That’s what roommates are for. Let’s go. I can practically smell the tacos now.

  I giggled as she held her nose in the air and pretended to follow their scent down the sidewalk. She didn’t seem nearly as aware of the eyes on her as I was as she continued her charade.

  The walk was short as was the line for food. Over plates of tacos, Sophie and I talked about high school, this semester’s classes, and some of the people I had already met.

  As I began to like her more and more, I felt guilty for the judgment I originally placed on her when we first met. If reading had taught me nothing else, it was not to judge a book by its cover. And I was guilty of it in the third degree.

  Sophie, although the polar opposite of me, was sweet, friendly, funny, and energetic. She was the life of the party wherever she went. And she was persistent.

  By the time we returned to our dorm, she had convinced me to attend the block party.

  Don’t worry. It’ll be a girls’ night out. No boys.

  Why do I feel like that’s not true?

  Her big brown eyes glowed as she smiled over the table at me, the playfulness in her expression confirming my suspicion. So, why did I find myself still wanting to go? An entire day had not passed since I arrived and yet I found myself attending my first social event in years.

  Two

  Sophie sat at the small vanity beside her bed as she placed the finishing touches on her makeup. Tonight, she chose glittery gold eyeshadow and mauve lipstick to accent her black romper and gold sandals.

  As I sat reading a book on my bed, she looked over from where she sat smacking her lips together on a tissue. She quickly glanced over my outfit, the same Beatles t-shirt and frayed jean shorts.

  You better get ready. The block party starts in ten minutes.

  I’m just going to wear this.

  She raised one of her eyebrows and shrugged her shoulders before turning back to approve her makeup.

  Alright, do you, girl.

  I stood up from the bed and walked over to our small shared bathroom. When I looked in the mirror, I wrinkled my nose. My eyeliner had smeared around my brown eyes and my foundation had worn off hours ago.

  Quickly, I threw on a new layer of each so I didn’t look like death, ran a hairbrush through my wavy, shoulder-length brown hair, and walked back into the bedroom.

  Alright, I’m ready.

  Sophie assessed my outfit and makeup before grabbing her purse and heading for the door.

  I wish I could barely try and still look as good as you.

  Her statement shocked me as I closed the door to our dorm behind us and followed her through the crowded hallway.

  That’s the first time I’ve been told that. Most girls wish they could look like you. Frankly, most guys wish they did, too.

  No, you’ve got this whole natural, carefree aura. Totally gorgeous.

  Oh, thanks, I think.

  She smiled over at me before waving at a couple down the hallway. How did she know so many people already? Her social skills were astounding. Groups of students around us laughed and chatted as we made our way to the block party.

  The sun was setting behind the surrounding trees and the lights of the carnival games were illuminating the sidewalks. Sophie glowed in the soft light of the sunset as every guy who we passed looked her way.

  Hey, Soph! How’s it going?

  An attractive, lanky Asian boy walked up to Sophie and put his hands in his jean pockets. He had straight, black hair swept across his forehead and friendly, bright eyes as he smiled down at Sophie. The football t-shirt he wore branded him as a jock.

  Hi, Nathan. How was practice today?

  Coach made us run the bleachers to get us ready for next week’s game.

  Oh, that sucks. You look good though.

  Sophie batted her eyelashes as Nathan’s face flushed and smiled wide with straight, white teeth. It wasn’t until Sophie pulled me forward by my arm that he even realized my presence next to her.

  This is Charlotte, my roommate. Charlotte, this is Nathan. He plays on the football team for our school.

  Hey, Charlotte. Nice to meet you.

  Nice to meet you, too.

  You liking college so far?

  Well, I’ve only been here since this afternoon but so far, yeah. Sophie has been super nice and showed me around the campus.

  Nathan’s focus was broken as he heard his name being called behind him from a couple of booths over. He held his hand out in greeting of two approaching boys.

  One of them appeared to be Hispanic with caramel-colored skin and intensely dark brown eyes. The cockiness in his walk made his affinity for attention and the opposite sex obvious as he approached. His hair was buzzed close to his head and he wore a Chicago Bears jersey.

  His companion was seemingly less arrogant as he walked up in a button up shirt and jeans, his hands in his pockets. The closer he came, the more features I noticed about him: his chocolate brown hair, slightly tanned skin, athletic frame, and strong jawline.

  As the two greeted Nathan with fist bumps and pats on the arm, I came back to reality and looked casually at my surroundings. Suddenly, I heard Nathan introduci
ng his friends to Sophie and me.

  This is Wyatt. He is the quarterback of the football team.

  It was no surprise the arrogant one turned out to be yet another jock. Typical.

  Sophie is already familiar but this is Ezra. He doesn’t play football but his dad is rich, so we let him hang out with us.

  Nathan punched Ezra’s arm as he jokingly introduced his friend. He turned toward us, his eyes first glancing over Sophie and then landing on me.

  This is Sophie and her roommate, Charlotte.

  Wyatt immediately stepped toward Sophie, the distance between them uncomfortably intimate. Nathan seemed irritated by his teammate’s friendliness. I grinned to myself as I witnessed Nathan’s awkward effort to intercept his friend’s pick-up attempt.

  Charlotte, right?

  I turned to find the boy previously introduced as Ezra looking down at me. Why hadn’t I noticed how blue his eyes were before? And why did I care what color his eyes were? They no doubt had been used on the many girls he chased.

  Yeah.

  He held his hand out for a handshake and I awkwardly accepted it, his hand much larger and warmer than my own.

  Ezra Blake. So, you’re Sophie’s roommate, huh?

  Yeah.

  And how’s that going?

  Sophie looked over from the two towering boys and wrinkled her nose playfully at Ezra.

  Wonderful because I am the best roommate a girl could ask for.

  Wyatt chuckled and mumbled something to Nathan, most likely something crude like Sophie being the best roommate a guy could ask for, too. Ugh, boys.

  Ezra looked over at Sophie as if unpersuaded and then back at me. Under his soft brown curls, he raised his eyebrows in anticipation of my answer.

  It really has been great. She’s been very welcoming and even showed me around campus.

  That is shockingly cool of her. We went to school together in Chicago, so I know the good, bad, and the ugly about her.

  Sophie was too preoccupied with the huddle of boys around her to hear his last playful jab at her expense. His expression showed no surprise of her surrounding predators when his eyes turned back to me.