Ghostbusters Movie Novelization

by Stacia Deutsch

  Abby groaned. “Fine. But she doesn’t deserve it.”

  Holtzmann placed a recording device on the table. “A few months ago, we spent eight days at the Chelsea Hotel. We didn’t get anything—”

  “Or so we thought,” Abby said. “We found this later going through the tapes.”

  “I should warn you,” Holtzmann said just before she pressed play. “This . . . it’s upsetting what you’re about to hear. It’s just not from this world.”

  At first, Erin just heard white noise static. Holtzmann turned the volume up. The static grew louder. Erin waited, now very curious. Then . . .

  FART.

  Abby and Holtzmann laughed.

  “Wow. Really? That’s disgusting,” Erin said. “Cool joke. You guys are just killing it in here.”

  Holtzmann smiled widely. “Oh, we have fun.”

  Any interest in their “science” that Erin might have had was now totally gone. “I’m so glad we could have an adult discussion about this.”

  “If you really don’t believe in this stuff anymore, why were you looking for the book, huh?” Abby asked.

  “I wasn’t,” Erin told her. “Some man came to see me because he thinks his building is haunted.”

  Abby and Holtzmann turned to each other. Then Abby asked, “What building?”

  “Aldridge Mansion,” Erin said.

  Abby and Holtzmann quickly rushed over to a computer.

  “See, that’s the problem, Abby,” Erin went on. “This book—this science—it encourages troubled people to indulge in their delusions. People who need real help, not stupid theories . . .” She looked at the two of them huddled around the computer screen. “You’re not listening.”

  Abby and Holtzmann talked in hushed voices for a while, then Abby stood. “Let’s go see some ghosts.”

  Without another word to Erin, they started packing strange-looking equipment into a large duffel bag.

  Erin was definitely curious now, but tried to act like she wasn’t.

  Ready to roll, Abby reached the door and looked back at Erin. “All right, let’s move.”

  “I’m not going on your mission,” Erin said.

  “Well, thank you for sending your regrets, but I didn’t invite you.” Abby jingled her keys. “I just can’t lock this door until you’re out of the room. Move it.”

  On the street in front of the institute, Erin watched Abby and Holtzmann hurry toward a cab. Erin felt conflicted . . . and to be honest, a little left out.

  “Oh, sorry.” Abby opened a cab door. “Did you want to take this cab and leave us behind? You’ve always been good at that.”

  Erin rolled her eyes and groaned.

  As they loaded their equipment into the cab’s trunk, Erin said, “Abby, please take down the book.”

  Finally, Abby agreed. “All right.” But there was more. “Introduce us to this guy at Aldridge Mansion. And if we don’t pick up anything there, I’ll consider taking down the book until after you get your stupid tenure to your dumb university.”

  It was a deal. Erin climbed into the backseat of the cab. “Thank you.”

  CHAPTER 3

  The tour guide at Aldridge Mansion refused to go back into the building. Erin, Abby, and Holtzmann found him outside, across the street, pacing nervously.

  “Can I help you?” he asked, eyes darting left and right, as if expecting ghosts to swarm him.

  “We are here to see Ed Mulgrave,” Erin said. “He visited me earlier today.”

  “Ed Mulgrave?” the tour guide asked. “But Ed died fifteen years ago.”

  “Whaaaaaaaaat?” Holtzmann and Abby shrieked at the same time. Their excitement grew.

  “That’s ridiculous. I just saw him,” Erin said.

  Just then, Ed Mulgrave, the same man who visited her earlier, walked up.

  “Okay . . . Who is that then?” Erin asked the guide.

  “Oh, that’s Ed’s son, Ed Jr.,” the guide answered.

  “All right, that’s obviously who I meant,” Erin said, turning to Ed Jr.

  “Thank you so much for coming,” Ed Jr. said. “We’ve been so frightened—”

  Abby cut in. “When is the last time the paranormal entity was sighted, and what on a scale of T-1 to T-5 was the level of physical interactivity?”

  Ed turned to the guide. “Garret here saw it Tuesday, and I believe it made him soil himself.”

  The guide was embarrassed. “Really, Ed?”

  Abby jumped for joy. “That’s a T-3. Awesome.” She was ready to start. “Let’s set up inside. You can give us a tour.”

  “I’m not going back in there,” Garret said. “Here.” He tossed the keys on the ground and stepped away.

  Abby, Erin, and Holtzmann entered the mansion’s foyer. There was very little sunlight, making the room dark and spooky even though it was midday. While Holtzmann started filming, Abby pulled out an elaborate gadget.

  “What is that?” Erin asked.

  “It’s a PKE meter. If there’s a ghost around, this baby’ll let us know.” Abby fiddled with a dial.

  “Does it work?” Erin wondered.

  “Ummm, yeah, it works,” Abby said. “We just haven’t seen it work because we haven’t had direct contact with the paranormal.” She paused. “Yet.”

  Holtzmann’s camera panned the room toward Erin, who nudged it away, careful to keep out of the frame. She didn’t want Columbia University to find out about this.

  Abby tried to open the basement door. It wouldn’t budge. “Sealed shut,” she reported. “We’ll come back to this. Erin, be useful and find a sledgehammer or something.”

  Erin threw her hands up and started exploring on her own. She discovered the terrifying portrait and shivered. Scared, she returned to Holtzmann.

  “It’s a fantastic book, you know,” Holtzmann told her. “Nothing to be ashamed of.”

  Erin didn’t reply as she and Holtzmann began following Abby, who was scanning everything in the room.

  Abby shook her head sadly at Holtzmann and said, “Let’s go check out the parlor. Too much negative energy in here.” With that, Abby and Holtzmann headed through a large archway into the parlor, leaving Erin alone. She decided to just go ahead and follow them anyway, even though she’d been sort of uninvited. One step forward and her shoe slipped on something slimy.

  “What is this . . . ?” Erin looked around for a drip, but then noticed that straight ahead of her the basement door was open! It had to be one of Holtzmann’s ghost jokes. “Wow. Really? Again?”

  Erin moved into the parlor where Abby was scanning the room with the PKE meter as Holtzmann somehow impressively both filmed and ate Pringles at the same time.

  “Is there anything that isn’t a joke to you guys?” Erin asked.

  Abby and Holtzmann looked at each other, confused.

  “You didn’t open the basement door?” Erin hesitated.

  Abby was clearly shocked at the news. “The basement door is open?” She looked for herself and was surprised to find Erin was telling the truth.

  “Well if it wasn’t you, it’s probably just Ed or th—” Erin’s voice stilled as she looked out the window to where Ed and the tour guide were still on the sidewalk.

  Abby’s PKE meter lit up and the antenna began to spin. “I didn’t even know it did that!” she said.

  Creeeaaakkk. It sounded like a footstep on the basement stairs. Creeeaaakkk. Then another one.

  “My ears just popped. Definite AP-XH shift. I don’t think we’re alone.”

  Abby grabbed the camera from Holtzmann, and dim colored light began to glow from inside the stairwell.

  “Please tell me you’re seeing that,” Abby gasped.

  They were. A ghost floated toward them. She was none other than Gertrude Aldridge.

  Abby lowered the camera to take a closer look. “It’s a class four, distinct human form apparition.”

  “This isn’t happening,” Erin muttered.

  “Oh, it’s happening all right,” Holtzmann as
sured her.

  “And it’s the most beautiful thing I’ve seen.” Abby’s eyes were wide.

  Slowly, Erin took a step toward it. “It can’t be real. . . .” She reached out her hand.

  “Careful!” Abby warned. “It could be malevolent. We’ve never made contact before.”

  Erin felt safe. “No. She looks peaceful somehow.”

  She turned to the ghost. “Hello, ma’am. My name is Erin Gil—”

  But Gertrude Aldridge was not peaceful. She tipped her head down. Suddenly, she looked malicious. She opened her mouth and ectoplasm shot out in a mighty spray, covering Erin and blasting her back.

  “Get down!” Abby screamed.

  They all dropped to ground as the ghost darted through the wall and left the mansion.

  Erin, Abby, and Holtzmann ran out of the building just in time to see Gertrude Aldridge fly down the street.

  Erin was in shock. “What just happened?”

  “What just happened?” Abby grabbed Erin and shook her. “We saw a ghost!”

  Erin processed that. “We did! We saw a ghost!”

  Together, the three women jumped up and down, hugging each other excitedly.

  “Ghosts are real,” Erin said as Abby recorded her.

  CHAPTER 4

  At Columbia University, Erin sat across from Harold Filmore in his office. He turned the computer screen toward her so she could get a closer look at the video he was watching.

  It was of Erin, standing outside Aldridge Mansion. She was dancing with Abby and Holtzmann and cheering, “Ghosts are real! Ghosts are real!”

  Dr. Filmore paused the video. “Dr. Bronstein saw this on Reddit. It was reblogged from a Dr. Abigail Yates’s site, Ghost News. I hadn’t heard of that publication.”

  Erin raised her hands in protest. “Wait—you don’t think that’s me in the video, do you?”

  Filmore simply stared at her. The video was paused on Erin’s face.

  “But this isn’t something I’m really involved with. Truly.” She felt panicked. This couldn’t be happening! Not now!

  “I hope you understand that when we give people tenure, they represent this institution,” Filmore said. “They affect such things as grants and our standing in the collegiate rankings.”

  Erin’s face fell. Then she forced a smile, awkwardly leaning back in her chair. She clasped her hands into finger guns. “Gotcha. Ha! You should’ve seen your face.”

  “Please don’t pretend this is a prank,” Filmore said.

  Erin dropped her fingers and frowned. “Okay.”

  “I’m sorry. This just isn’t what this institution is about.” Filmore closed down the video.

  “It’s not what I’m about either! I’m about real, serious science.” Erin had a new approach to this crisis. “That’s why I conducted this test, so congratulations, Dr. Filmore—” She reached out to shake his hand.

  But Filmore wasn’t buying it. “This is just uncomfortable now,” he told her.

  Next plan—escape. “Well, my class starts in an hour, so I’d better get back to it.” Erin stood.

  Harold Filmore stared at her. And that’s when Erin knew.

  Class was canceled. Erin was fired.

  Erin kicked open the door to the paranormal lab at the Kenneth P. Higgins Institute. Abby and Holtzmann were watching TV. They looked up, surprised to see her.

  “Well, I hope you’re happy.” Erin grabbed a piece of equipment from the lab to throw across the room.

  Abby and Holtzmann shouted together, “Nooooo! We’ll all die!”

  Erin put the thingy back down carefully, then grabbed an ammeter to throw.

  “Nooooo! We only have one of those!” Abby stopped her.

  Erin put it down. “How could you do that? How could you put that online? I was fired. Everyone was watching. I was completely humiliated!”

  “All right, knock it off,” Abby said. “Now, I’m sorry, but we saw a real ghost. How long have we been looking for that? And she was beautiful, Erin.” Abby reconsidered. “Well, until she dislocated her jaw and ecto-projected all over you. But even that was beautiful.”

  Erin thought about it, relenting ever-so-slightly. “There was a heavy ionization discharge. I could smell it. Somehow it got energized.”

  “Full-torso transmogrification with corporeal aggression. Right before our eyes!” Abby was up and pacing. “And we’re supposed to be quiet about it? We’ve been working our whole lives for this. And we got almost a hundred comments. Not just crazies. Read this one.”

  Abby pointed. “This lady describes a class three haunting in her home. She’s scared. She lives alone and can’t afford to move. We can provide a real service here. She can’t call the police. She can’t call a friend. Who is she going to call?”

  As if it was meant to be, the Ghost Jumpers theme song started up on the television and the announcer shouted, “Ghost Jumpers!”

  Abby searched for the remote. “These phonies. They make it harder for people like us! This can’t be the only option to the people. We’re on the cusp of discovery here. And I know you love being on the cusp.”

  “I do, I love the cusp,” Erin nodded, feeling teary.

  “Now, I know this isn’t Columbia. But the Kenneth P. Higgins Institute—” Abby began.

  “Ughhhhhh,” Erin grunted.

  “That’s insanely rude, but I’ll ignore it—the Higgins Institute grants us money and they let us study whatever we want. They don’t even ask what we’re doing. We have been left alone for almost a year. Watch. I’ll go ask them for more funding right now.” Abby lead Holtzmann and Erin out of the lab and to the administration offices.

  They got right in to see the dean.

  “I honestly just didn’t know your department still existed. I can’t believe this has gone on this long,” the dean said.

  “What?” Abby cried.

  The dean explained. “I’m sorry, but ghosts? No, no, no. We simply cannot let the twelve year history of this institution be smeared by this.”

  “Oh, come on,” Abby said. “Suddenly this school has a classy reputation to uphold?” She pointed under the desk. “You’re wearing shorts.”

  It wasn’t just Erin anymore. Now they’d all been fired.

  As Holtzmann and Abby pushed their heavy equipment out of the basement, Erin had a plan. “You know what? We’re going to show everyone we’re not crazy. We just have to capture an entity and bring it into a controlled environment.”

  Abby was realistic. “We have no lab. We also have no money.”

  Erin said, “I have some savings. Do either of you have any savings?”

  “I was planning on asking if I could borrow some,” Holtzmann replied.

  Erin found herself growing more and more optimistic. “We can do this. We’re gonna be the first scientists to ever prove the paranormal exists.”

  Abby smiled. “That’s the Erin I used to know. Welcome back. Now, let’s get out of here with this stuff before they make us give it back.”

  Behind them, the door to the college flung open.

  “Hey, bring that back here!” the dean shouted.

  They got away.

  CHAPTER 5

  Patty Tolan worked at a subway station. Sometimes she felt really lonely, sitting all by herself at the ticket window. Patty was feeling particularly lonely when a few passengers hurried past on their way to the platform.

  “How are you guys doing?” Patty called out to them. A woman in a blue shirt speed-walked past her. “I have that same shirt,” Patty continued. The woman still didn’t listen. “Except mine is purple and long-sleeve. You know what? It’s just a different shirt.”

  The woman boarded a train and was gone. “Get home safe,” Patty said with a long sigh. She accepted that the rest of her shift would be lonely.

  Just as she accepted this, Patty jumped. There was a man by the booth, staring at her!

  It was Rowan, the maintenance man from the Mercado Hotel.

  “They will always ig
nore you. They are walking sewage, focused only on their own trivial matters,” said Rowan.

  Patty was used to people talking nonsense in the train station. “Uh-huh. Everything good?” she said.

  “Take pride in your work,” Rowan replied, his voice distant and monotone.

  Patty glanced around the ticket booth. “Well, I don’t know about that. Can I help you with something?”

  Rowan leaned in toward her. “When the Fourth Cataclysm begins, the laborers will be among the last led to the butchery. So make the most of your extra time.”

  Patty gave a small shrug. “Oh, okay, my man. Thanks so much. Have a great day.”

  Rowan nodded as if he’d passed important information, then walked away.

  Patty shrugged and went back to reading her book.

  The next time she glanced up, Rowan was on her security monitor. He was climbing down off the train platform and into a train tunnel.

  Patty grabbed her flashlight. “Oh, come on,” she muttered.

  She hurried to where she’d last seen him, but he was gone. She looked toward the end of the platform. No sign of Rowan. Before she went back to the booth, a weird flash of light appeared deep in the tunnel. Patty shone her flashlight in. “Hello?” she called out. No response. She had no choice but to check it out.

  Deeper inside the subway tunnel, she found something attached to the wall. It was a strange homemade box, shooting off sparks like mini-fireworks. A ghostly wave of energy flowed from it.

  “What . . . ?” Patty leaned in for a better look. It was then she noticed something else . . . a creepy, tall, thin glowing man was walking deeper into the tunnel! He wore an old striped prison uniform and had a metal cap on his head.

  Patty didn’t notice Rowan watching the tall man from the shadows.

  The sparking device next to her burst into flames and fell apart. Patty jumped back, but wasn’t hurt. She called after the tall man, “Hey! You can’t go down there.”

  The man stopped. That was when Patty noticed his feet were several inches off the ground. He was a ghost!

  Patty was sufficiently creeped out. “Go wherever you want,” she said, now that she knew he wasn’t alive. “They don’t pay me enough for this.” She dropped her flashlight on the tracks and ran away.