Conflicted

by Heather Dahlgren

  I open my eyes and look at him. He takes off his boxers, and I see his impressive cock, glistening with need. He rolls on a condom, and I bite down on my lip because watching him touch himself is so fucking hot. He looks up at me, desire heavy on his face. “I wanted to go slow, worship your entire body, but that’s not possible. I need to fuck you, to feel your tight, wet pussy wrapped around me.” I can’t even form words at this point. I simply lift my hips to indicate I’m more than ready to be fucked. He tightly grabs my hips, holding my legs wide open for him, and pulls me closer to him. He is on his knees with his cock teasing my entrance. He pushes my legs back so that they are almost touching my breasts and slams into me. I let out another scream, but he doesn’t slow his pace. I grab a hold of his forearms, feeling the muscles flex as he moves. “Mel, open your eyes and look at me. I need to see you, sweetheart.” I hadn’t realized they were even closed, but I immediately open them and look at him. We stare into each other’s eyes as he slams into me over and over. His piercing drags over my g-spot again and again, bringing me closer to the edge. “Fuck, you feel so good,” he grunts, and I tighten my hold on his arms. I start getting the amazing feeling and know I won’t last much longer. He feels it. I know he does because he picks up his pace. I can’t help but moan. He lets go of one leg and uses his other hand and his arm to hold up both legs. He gently rubs my clit, and it’s all too much. The way he is slamming into me, coupled with the gentle way he is rubbing me, makes me explode.

  “KEITH!” He grabs both my legs and rams into me, causing my orgasm to continue on and on.

  “Oh fuck, Mel,” he shouts, as he follows me over the edge. He rides out his orgasm as I ride out mine before he finally collapses on top of me. We both lie there trying to catch our breath and slow down our racing hearts. He rolls over, keeping a hold on me, so I’m now lying on top of him. I rest my head on his chest and listen to his heart pounding in his chest. He kisses the top of my head and tucks my hair behind my ear. “I love you, Mel.” I lift my head and gently kiss his lips.

  “I love you too.” I lay my head back on his chest and let his heartbeat sing me to sleep.

  When I wake up, I am lying on the bed wrapped in Keith’s arms. There is no better way to wake up. I go to turn over to face him, but he tightens his grip on me. I smile, loving every second of his controlling way. “Good morning.” He kisses my bare shoulder and rubs my arm.

  “Good morning, gorgeous.” I hear in his voice that something is wrong. I try to turn again, but he just won’t let me.

  “What’s wrong?” I’m getting nervous and annoyed. He holds me a little tighter to him, and I hear him sigh, which is not reassuring at all. “Keith, what is it?”

  “Mel. I need to tell you something.” My heart pounds in my chest. Oh my God, maybe he is leaving early, or maybe he really is with Becca. Why the fuck isn’t he telling me yet? I feel like it’s been an eternity, but I know it’s only been seconds.

  “Well shit, tell me already.” I’m losing patience. I need to know what the hell is going on. I mean, maybe I’m being dramatic and it’s nothing, or maybe I’m spot on. He blows out a breath before he finally begins.

  “I’ve been waiting for the best time to tell you, but there is never going to be a good time. I convinced my mom to move to New Jersey, away from my dad and all his bullshit.” My heart starts to calm a bit, this isn’t what I was expecting at all.

  “Keith, I think that’s the best thing. She needs to start over.” He kisses my head.

  “There’s more.” Of course, there is. “The only way she would leave is if Connie and Karen came too, so they are. They are both moving to New York when I leave.” I feel tears stinging my eyes. That’s not only my best friend, but my family. If they all leave, I’m here for no reason. I stayed to be with Connie, not because I liked this shithole town. I clear my throat so he can’t tell I’m upset. I’m actually grateful to have my back to him now.

  “I understand. She would be lost without the girls and them without her.” My heart is breaking. I’m going to lose the entire Dickson family in just a few weeks. My best friend, her family, and now the man I am totally and completely in love with. What the hell am I supposed to do now?

  “There is one more thing.” You have to be shitting me. His clears he throat. “I want you to move back with me too.” BOOM. That is my heart exploding in my chest. He wants me to go with him, holy shit. I mean, I never thought this would be an option. I thought he’d leave me and just take my heart with him. I’ve moved around the country my entire life, so moving is nothing to me. New York, I’ve wanted to live there my entire life—the city, the action, the beauty of it all. To think that it could actually happen is surreal to me. Keith clears his throat, and I realize I haven’t answered him yet. I spin in his arms, and this time, he lets me. The look on his face is heartbreaking. He looks so scared. Damn, I fucking love him.

  “I would love nothing more than to move to New York with you.” He searches my eyes, I guess to see if I’m being honest, or maybe to make sure this is really happening, because damn, it feels like a dream to me.

  “Are you fucking serious? You’ll move to New York with me, because I want you with me Mel, not with Connie.” I smile and gently kiss his lips.

  “I’m fucking serious.” We both laugh, and before I can say anything else, he kisses me, and I can feel his love pouring off him. He pulls back and smiles at me.

  “You have no fucking idea how nervous I was you would say no. I couldn’t leave you, there was no way.” I run my hand over his face and push his messy hair off his forehead.

  “You’ve just made me the happiest girl in the world. I’ve been terrified of what would happen when you left. I’ve always wanted to live in New York, see all the beauty of the city.” He kisses my nose and pulls me closer.

  “I told you, I’ll do everything I can to make you happy. You are going to need to give work notice, and I’ll make some calls to see if we need a sketch artist at the precinct. Until we figure everything out, we will just stay in my apartment with Campbell and Young. Although with Campbell getting married soon, and Young with the possibility of being a father, who knows, maybe we will have the place to ourselves. I look at him with wide eyes, and he laughs. “Yes, I talked with him yesterday and he told me. He’s a nervous wreck and so is Maddie.” I smile thinking that soon I will actually be able to meet these friends and hopefully be accepted into their amazing circle.

  “Why are they nervous, just the idea of having a baby?” He sits up and pulls me onto his lap. For the next hour, he tells me Young and Maddie’s story. My heart aches for what she was put through, but damn, Young sounds like just what she needed. I start laughing, and he looks down at me and smiles.

  “What’s so funny?” I look at his handsome face and get my giggles under control.

  “You know, between Campbell and Kenz, and Young and Maddie, you could write a book about their lives.” He laughs this time and kisses me.

  “I don’t think so. They are just ordinary people who had some shitty things happen before their happily ever after. Not something I think people would want to read about.” I guess he’s right, but I loved getting to know more about all of them.

  We start talking about all the things we need to do before we leave, and for me, it’s easy. I just need to give my two weeks’ notice, pack, and talk to the landlord. He’s the one that has to do a lot. He still needs to find a place for his mom, face the court date with his dad, sell her house, and help pack up a lifetime worth of stuff. He also said he’d like to have a place for his sisters. This sexy man takes my breath away. I’ve never met a man that would sacrifice the way he has for his family. Right before we decide to get out of bed and start the day, there is a knock on the door. “Are you two decent or what?” I bust out laughing, and I feel Keith’s body shaking with laughter too.

  “We will be right out,” Keith yells, and I hear her mumbling about humping dogs as she walks away. “What do you say, you ready t
o start this day?”

  After we are both dressed, we make our way to the kitchen, and thankfully, Connie has made coffee. I haven’t said anything, but I am sore from the accident. I really hadn’t noticed until I started walking to the kitchen. I pour myself and Keith a cup before reaching for the ibuprofen in the cabinet. I take it out and drop three into my hand. Keith comes up behind me and slowly turns me to face him. “Are you in pain?”

  “I’m sore, not really in pain.” He grabs a water bottle out of the fridge and uncaps it before handing it to me. I take the water and swallow down the pills.

  “You alright?” I give him a nod and go in for a hug. He wraps me gently in his arms and I melt into him. You’d think we didn’t just untangle from each other, but I can’t get enough of him. He kisses my temple. “Go sit down, and I’ll make you something to eat. Plus, you can tell Connie about moving.” I giggle and agree to do just that.

  I make my way into the living room and sit down on the couch. “You feeling alright?” Connie is sitting on the chair with her legs pulled under her, holding a cup of coffee in her hands. I smile and take a sip of my coffee.

  “I’m fine, a little sore, but besides that, I’m great.” She puts her coffee down and comes to give me a hug. Once she lets go, she sits next to me.

  “I’m so glad. You scared the shit out of me yesterday. Thank God, Keith was here. He took total control like always.” I smile to myself, thinking she has no idea.

  “Speaking of, I wanted to talk to you. Keith told me about you all moving to New York when he goes back. You ready for the big change?” She looks at me with big eyes, and I can’t do it to her. I don’t need her worrying any more than she already had. “Well, you better be because he asked me to go back with him, and I said yes.” She squeals and hugs me tightly to her.

  “Oh my God, we are going to have so much fun. Keith told me that I better not think you’re moving in with me, but that doesn’t mean we can’t have fun together. This makes moving all that much better. Mel, I can’t even tell you how fucking happy I am that you and Keith are together and things are so great with you guys.” I reach over and squeeze her hand.

  “Thanks, that means the world to me. I love him, you know.” She laughs and gets up to sit back in the chair with her coffee.

  “No shit.” We both laugh and talk about New York.

  The weekend flew by. Tomorrow is Monday already, and I’m actually excited to get into work and give my two weeks’ notice. It’s going to be the beginning of amazing things to come. I’m lying in bed, listening to the rain, wrapped in Keith’s arms. He is sound asleep, and I snuggle a bit closer. I can’t fall asleep; my mind is running a mile a minute with moving. I called my parents today to let them know, and they had mixed feelings. They are happy I’m going to have a new experience, but not so happy that I’m moving in with Keith so quickly. I assured them this is the right path for me, and I know with time they will see it. My mom did say that she could sense my happiness, which made me that much happier. They promised to visit and look forward to meeting Keith. I’ve been running through my head trying to figure out my packing routine, which sounds ridiculous, but when you’ve moved so many times, these are things you think about. I figure if I start packing on Wednesday, I should have it all done in time for a moving truck, which should arrive five days before we need to be in New York, and if I’ve done it all right, my stuff will be waiting for me when I get there. I smile and close my eyes. I have this.

  I wake up to the alarm screaming at me, feeling completely exhausted from being up so late. My body is still sore, so I try stretching to help. “Morning.” I turn my head and find Keith wide-awake, sitting on the edge of the bed, completely dressed. I move closer and rest my head on his lap.

  “Good morning. Why are you up and dressed already?” He is running his hand through my hair, and I could fall back to sleep it is so relaxing.

  “Mom called me already. She got a phone call that court will be at the end of the week, and she’s pretty worked up. I need to get over there and make sure everything is alright.” See, sweetest fucking guy ever.

  Once he leaves, I get up and get ready for work. I go out into the kitchen after I’m showered, dressed, and ready to go, to make a cup of coffee. “Morning, Mel. You giving your two weeks’ notice today?” I smile as I sip my coffee.

  “Yes, I am. How did your work take it when you told them?”

  “Please, I’m a small fish in that big pond. They couldn’t have cared less. How do you think they are going to take it with you leaving?” I swallow down some ibuprofen and shrug my shoulders.

  “Honestly, I don’t give a shit. They might be pissed, but they will find someone new. I’m giving them plenty of time.” She laughs as she gets up to fill her travel mug.

  “Good for you. Alright, I need to go finish up my last week.” She winks at me when I stick out my tongue and head off for the day. I grab a bagel and fill my travel mug before heading out to quit my job.

  It’s been non-stop since I got into work, so I haven’t had a chance to talk to the captain yet. It is almost my lunch break, and I decide I need to get in there now because I have a lot to do once I get back. I knock on his door, and he tells me to come in. He looks up from his desk and puts his pen down. “What’s up, Thompson?” I sit down and cross my legs.

  “Captain, I need to give you my two weeks’ notice. I’ve loved working here, but it’s time for me to move on. I’m going to be moving to New York.” He straightens up in his chair.

  “I’m not going to give you a hard time, Mel. I had a feeling once you and Keith got together this might happen. I wish you nothing but the best, but I’ll admit, you are going to be one tough woman to replace.” I smile with pride at the compliment before standing.

  “Thank you for everything.” He stands and we shake hands.

  “I’ll make an announcement before the end of the day.” I turn to walk out, but his booming voice stops me. “I know Keith hasn’t had an easy life with his father, but I also know he is the one responsible for keeping them all safe. You will be in good hands.” I blink back the tears and turn to face him.

  “That is something I would never doubt, sir.” He nods his head, and I leave his office. I gather up my stuff and head out to have lunch.

  The day has flown by. I am finishing some paperwork when the captain comes out of his office. “Listen up.” That’s all it takes for everyone to stop doing what they are doing and give him their complete attention. “I just thought you should all know that Thompson has given her notice and will be leaving us. She’s had an offer to go to New York that she couldn’t turn down.” He looks at me with a half-smile. “She will be missed, but she needs to do what is best for her. Good luck, Mel.” I don’t know why I am choking up; I am so excited for my new start.

  “Thanks, Captain. I’ll miss you all.” He nods and heads back to his office. A few of my co-workers come over to wish me luck, but I tell them all I still have two weeks. I finish packing my desk for the night and head to the elevator. The door opens, and I walk in. Right before it closes, fucking Jenson gets on. I roll my eyes and move to the other side.

  “Good luck in New York.” I look at him shocked.

  “Thanks, Jenson, I appreciate that.” He gets a smirk on his face, and I know he didn’t mean a word of it.

  “I figure you’ll need it. I never pegged you for a woman that would chase after a dick, especially when there are plenty around here more than willing to help you out.” He moves a little closer, and I pray the elevator opens. I hit my back against the wall and cringe a bit. “What’s wrong, you still sore?” I snap my head up at him, but the elevator opens, and he gets right off. What the fuck is that supposed to mean? How the fuck would he know what happened? I rush to my car because suddenly I’m feeling extremely uncomfortable. Once I’m in the safety of my car, I breathe a sigh of relief. I slowly make my way home with more caution than I normally use. Between the accident and Jenson, I’m definitely on hig
h alert. I feel myself finally relax when I pull up in front of the house. I sit there for a minute to try to think things through. Then it hits me. Of course, he knew about the accident; there were other cops there. They obviously told him, and he is just trying to freak me out. What a fool I am.

  I’m sitting in my room going through some of my clothes when my cell phone rings. “Hello?”

  “Hey, sweetheart. How was your day?” I can’t help smiling the second I hear his voice.

  “It was good. How is your mom?”

  “She’s better now. We met with her lawyer and talked her through everything. She’s still nervous for court, but I promised to be there with her and the girls did too, so she is feeling better.”