Why is fate so fucking cruel? I would have married you the day I met you if I could have. You were so energetic—so happy—those eyes hid your sadness, even though I could see it beneath the surface.
I looked at her pictures a few more times before finishing my glass of vodka and starting on a second. I would either drink myself to sleep and wake up with a hangover or finally get the courage to kill myself. Alcohol was actually saving my life, even if it was poison in my veins. I hadn’t found the right way to do it or how I would actually pull it off. I considered jumping from the top of a building once, but a man followed me all the way to the top and wouldn’t leave. He tried to make conversation like we were standing on a street and never got far enough away for me to actually do it.
What deity did I anger to be pushed into hell before I even got the pleasure of death?
Maybe if I just lay here in bed, I’ll die of thirst and starvation.
I stayed in bed as long as I could when I woke up the next morning. Eventually, I did have to get up. There were reports to review, decisions to make—bad decisions based on the way our investments performed the previous day. I made them quicker than I did most days. They didn’t seem to matter regardless. Once that part of my morning was over, I nursed a cup of coffee and scrolled through the list of people I had been researching. When I was gone, the company would need a temporary CEO.
I had a few top candidates from around the industry. We had tried to recruit a few of them, but they were looking for seats at the head of the table, not the one to my right. As soon as they found out that they wouldn’t even have the option of usurping the one in the chair due to my father’s trust, they immediately rejected our employment offer. Men like that—men that could lead the world—they wanted prestige to go with the salary. We couldn’t offer that. I couldn’t exactly contact any of them to tell them that I wasn’t going to be around much longer, so I compiled a list to help select a better candidate once I was gone. Hopefully it would save someone a headache when the time came.
Thank goodness this day is over.
My days usually consisted of staring at the wall and wishing the glass behind me wasn’t unbreakable. I was so bad at making decisions that I had given up long ago. I pushed the responsibilities that I wasn’t required to handle off to other people. They were better at it, anyway. I did try in the beginning. I read books, including the one my father wrote in his prime. The secret wasn’t in the pages. It was inside a brilliant mind I didn’t inherit. I walked into my apartment, feeling the weight of the world on my shoulders. I pulled out my keys, found the one that would open my door, and when I lifted my head, they practically fell out of my hand.
“Harmony?” My heart raced in my chest. “What?”
“Aren’t you going to ask me inside? I’ve been waiting out here for hours.” She smiled and turned her head slightly.
“Of course!” I nodded quickly and rushed to my door. “What are you doing in New York?”
“I thought I’d drop in and see what you’ve been up to.” She stepped into my apartment and I closed the door.
“You came all the way from Illinois just to say hello? I’m pretty sure we’re still friends on social media.” I twisted my face into one of confusion.
“No.” She took a seat on the couch and looked over at me. “Someone recently told me that honesty is the best policy, so I’m just going to level with you. You’re caught up in a twisted game but you’re going to win it. You won’t be taking your life on my watch.”
What the fuck?
13
Harmony
The man that I saw no longer resembled Connor Vale. He wore his skin like a vagabond that had found a discarded coat on the sidewalk. The shimmer in his eyes was burned out. The smile had been gone so long I didn’t even see the creases that used to linger on the edge of his lips. He was truly defeated, broken, and destroyed. He didn’t have a shell to crack. His shell was already long gone. There was no point in lying to him. Even if I did manage to pull him back from the edge for a couple of days, the man I saw in front of me wasn’t going to stop falling until his feet landed firmly in hell. That might not even be enough ground for him to stand on. Angelina was right to send me to him, and I wasn’t losing him without a fight.
“What do you mean by that? Taking my life? Twisted game?” His face reflected absolute dismay coupled with bewilderment.
“Come sit down. Grab a drink if you have something handy. We’ve got a lot to talk about.” I patted the couch next to me.
“Okay.” He stared at me for a moment and then walked to the kitchen and poured two glasses of vodka.
Connor sat down and I told him everything. I told him about Nate, Angelina, and I even revealed my dark side, including my session with Devlin. I left out the stuff that didn’t matter, but I didn’t hold back with him. I told him that his name came up when Angelina was building a profile for me, and she had been watching him since she discovered he was going to take his own life. Connor’s emotions shifted from confused, to concerned, to downright horrified. I understood them all. They had been present in me when I learned what was going on. When I brought my story to a close, Connor stared at me for a moment and then he simply broke down in tears.
“I can’t believe I walked away from someone like you—for all of this fucking misery.” He squeezed his face together as he spoke to try and block out the tears.
It was Connor’s turn to talk. I listened to his story, from the moment he found out about his brother’s death, to the dismay he had found when he landed at the head of his family’s board room. He didn’t deserve that kind of stress. He had a pure heart and a poet’s soul. He didn’t want the power or the prestige that normally came with such a position. The trust his father set up was there to protect the family, but it had trapped Connor instead. He finished his vodka and went for another before he was finally done explaining the difficulties he had dealt with since the abrupt end of our second date.
“You see yourself as a failure, but when I hear that story, all I see is a man that is trying desperately to keep it all together. I see a man willing to sacrifice his own life because he doesn’t want all of those employees to lose their livelihood. There has to be another way. There has to be a loophole in your father’s trust.” I moved closer and took his hand.
“I’ve tried. I’ve had lawyers look at it—the best that money can buy. It’s an impossible situation.” He exhaled sharply.
“You don’t have any other family that could step in and do it? Uncles? Cousins? Anyone?” I tried to wrack my brain for a solution.
“No, my father’s trust is very specific. His heir has to sit at the table. He was worried about corporate takeovers when he set that up. There was a lot of it going around with various investment firms. They would buy stock or get a foothold in the company, oust the CEO, and then turn the company into nothing more than an extension of their brand—it happened with several of our competitors. The bigger firms play dirty. They always have.” Connor shook his head and sighed.
“I promise that I’m not leaving until we find a solution.” I squeezed his hand harder. “But until then, I want to see a smile on that face.”
I took his glass and put it beside mine on the table. He stared at me with curiosity as I shifted my leg across his lap and straddled him. Our dates had never ended with more than a kiss. That was going to change. I might not have the answers he sought, but I could give him something that would make him forget about his struggles for a little while. I was not going to leave his side until everything was fixed. I liked Nate—I really did. My time with Devlin had been amazing and an eye-opening experience. I had to let my heart guide me, though, just like Angelina said. Connor needed more than a friend. He needed someone to look at him like the man he was beneath that broken shell.
“What are you doing?” His eyes met mine and I saw flickering confusion.
“I want you.” I leaned forward and kissed his neck. “I want you to make love to me.�
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“God, do you know how many times I fantasized about you?” He leaned back and gasped as my lips moved down his neck. “I wondered where we would have been had our second date not ended so abruptly.”
“Right here, right now.” I kissed him a little harder. “I would be in your arms and you would be about to take me to the bedroom.”
“Do you think our relationship would have made it that far?” He gasped again.
“What do you think? I didn’t have any plans to dump you. You were one that dumped me.” I brought my lips up to his ear. “Another date and I would have probably gone to bed with you.”
“Oh god…” He moaned and then he started to stand.
Connor would have been my first if things would have worked out differently. It was shock to realize that and see how different both of our lives would have been if his brother hadn’t died. I would have stayed with him if it kept going as well as it was midway through the second date. He seemed to still have a fascination with me, even if we had been apart for some time. Angelina would have never brought Nate back to Bakersfield. I would have lived my life without meeting Devlin. Those experiences had shaped me and changed who I was at the core and each one of them was necessary for me to be in that moment with Connor—the moment when he needed me most.
“I feel like I’m dreaming.” Connor carried me to the bedroom and placed me on the bed. “It’s like I’ve been able to go back in time and grab the one thing I regretted most and bring it to the future.”
“If you don’t kiss me soon I’m going to find something else to wrap my lips around.” I reached out and squeezed his cock through his pants.
“That’s a very tough decision—I’m not good with those.” His lips twisted to a half-smile.
“Why don’t I do this while you kiss me?” I massaged the tender spot beneath his glans and he moaned.
“Good compromise.” He leaned forward on the bed until our lips collided together.
Connor was a very good kisser. I learned that on the first date. His lips set my body on fire when he finally let go of his inhibitions and started to really unleash his passion. His hands moved across my body until he was cupping my breasts. I kept his cock as hard as a rock in my hand, massaging it while he continued to keep my lips blazing with his desire. Our tongues ran together and twisted against the need inside us. I unbuttoned his shirt and pushed it off his shoulders. Connor had a tremendous physique and his tight muscles felt like I was touching a statue of a Greek god. He slid his hand under my shirt and pulled it over my breasts. Our lips were forced to part as it was tugged over my head. I released his cock and started unbuttoning his pants.
“It’s been a long time since I’ve felt anything as amazing as this.” He was practically panting as he spoke.
“Hopefully it’s about to get a lot better.” I grinned and pushed his pants down his hips.
We pulled at our clothes until every piece of fabric was on the floor beside the bed. Connor held me tight, kissing me as his hard cock pressed against my pelvis. He seemed to be happy just to have our lips together and a slow grind keeping the stimulation going. I shifted until his dick dropped down against my wetness. He started to enter me and I was forced to break the seal our lips had formed to exhale sharply. I was wet and tingling with desire, but it still took me a moment to adjust. The moment was so intense that I didn’t even think about protection until he was inside me. It was a risk, but the passion that had erupted between us could not be interrupted. I didn’t want to chance a moment away sending him back into the chaotic void that had threatened to consume him.
“You feel so good.” He groaned and bit down on his lip as my pussy began to squeeze his cock.
“I want you to fuck me until you explode.” I pulled him close and nibbled his ear.
Connor gave me several gentle thrusts as he slid into my pussy. It was still sore, but the pleasure overwhelmed the slight sensation of pain. Once he was buried inside me, his thrusts began to get faster. I felt the pleasure coursing through me as he slammed into my g-spot. His dick was longer than Nate or Devlin, but it wasn’t quite as thick. I didn’t feel quite as stretched as I did with Nate and the extra inches Connor had allowed him to stimulate my g-spot longer with every thrust. My body begged for more. I needed to feel his ravenous hunger consume me. His hips moved so fast that I felt the mattress bounce underneath us. The momentum pushed me into the springs and then I recoiled back against his pelvis as he speared me with his length.
“Keep going. That feels incredible!” I held on tight as his hips continued to crash into me.
The pressure was unbelievable as it built up inside me. Connor’s eyes raged with his unyielding desire. He looked stunning as he rose up and descended down against my skin. He was angelic and marvelous, turning me into the object of his lust. The pressure got stronger. I felt Connor’s cock beginning to throb. He was close and my muscles were starting to get tight. I was so close I could taste the sweet fervor that had brought us to this point. His impending release was the only thing that could quench the thirst inside me. My body was on fire and it felt like my flesh was melting into his as a thin sheet of sweat built between us.
“I’m gonna cum!” His eyes closed and his head rolled back.
“Don’t stop until every drop is inside me.” I ran my fingers through his hair and shifted my hips so that his throbbing cock was pressed against my g-spot.
The bomb ticking away inside him had a fuse that burned with unbelievable fury. I felt his pulsations start and then the detonation began to fill me with his seed. It spewed inside my pussy and the pressure I felt begged to meld with his lust. His ejaculation sent me over the edge until all I felt was bliss. My pussy spasmed and massaged his cock while he unloaded. The beginning of my orgasm made every muscle tighten. The release was incredible. I arched my back and lifted off the mattress for a moment before crashing back against it. I continued to orgasm as his desire filled me with his seed. When our combined pleasure subsided, I felt him slowly begin to withdraw and then he stretched out beside me.
“You’re unbelievable. You show up out of nowhere and for the first time manage to separate my mind from all of the things threatening to destroy me since my brother passed.” He let out a long sigh.
“And I’m not going anywhere.” I rolled over to face him. “We started something once that was interrupted. We have a second chance now—let’s not waste it.”
“Thank you.” He reached out and let his fingers graze my cheek. “Thank you so much.”
“You never have to thank me. I’m here for you. That’s all that matters.” I smiled and moved closer to him.
As Connor’s arms engulfed me, I found my thoughts drifting to the two men in Bakersfield. I cherished what I had with them, but there was no way I could leave Connor. I didn’t know anything about his family business, but I could be there for him when he needed me. Angelina said I had to walk all of the roads in front of me. Connor’s road was going to be longer than the one that took me to Nate, and less twisted than the one that took me to Devlin. If they found an intersecting point, or an eventual end, then we would deal with it. We would figure out what had to happen at that point. Nate promised he would be waiting on the other side of the abyss. I hoped he could wait. I had stared into Connor’s abyss—it stared back.
I needed Nate. I needed the confidence in myself that he offered. I needed Devlin. He was my dark desires pushed into the light. Connor needs me. How can I have it all when it pulls me in so many directions at the same time?
Sleep was impossible. Connor drifted away in our afterglow, but even though I was exhausted, I couldn’t find the solace that would let me rest. I walked to the window and stared out into the city of New York. It was so much busier than anything I was used to. My visits to Chicago had been rare, but it didn’t bustle with the same level of activity that I saw beneath me. It truly was a city that didn’t sleep. I was amongst the zombies as time ticked away. My job had been lenient with vaca
tion time when I said I needed to deal with things after my sister’s wedding. They weren’t going to be patient forever. Bakersfield felt like a lifetime removed and I had only been away for one day.
How can so much change so fast? How can a life I thought I was destined to have turn to ashes in an instant?
I looked back at Connor as he tossed and turned on the bed. He looked like he was troubled, even when he was sleeping. I dug my cell phone out of my purse and opened up my work email. I didn’t see any way that I could maintain my life in Bakersfield and be there for Connor. One night wasn’t going to fix him. I certainly wasn’t going to let him spiral towards an early death. I had no idea how I would fix him, but I was going to try. I quickly typed out an email to my boss, letting him know that I needed extended leave. There was a good chance it would result in him firing me, but it was a risk I would have to take.
Please forgive me, Nate. You came back for me after six years and now I’m the one that has to run. Devlin—I don’t even know what I would say if you were here right now. I abandoned you once and now it looks like I’m going to do it again…
14
Devlin
“Ah, the elusive Angelina. We meet at last.” I walked into her suite as she opened the door.
“Sorry for all of the secrecy, I needed to preserve the moment. I trust your time with Harmony met your expectations?” Angelina walked over and started pouring drinks.
“It was a good beginning. I’ve learned not to push too hard the first time. It can send young submissive girls running.” I chuckled and took the glass of Scotch she offered.
“I suppose so.” Angelina nodded and sipped her drink. “Join me, let’s have a talk.”
I could still taste Harmony’s pain on the tip of my tongue. Even the Scotch wasn’t enough to erase it. The pain was a necessity after what she had done, and I was rather surprised to see how her body reacted to her first taste of submission. After having so many women balk before a session truly began, it was nice to find someone that craved their punishment. I didn’t like having my future with Harmony wound around Angelina’s finger. It took the control I cherished and put it in her hands. Angelina had cast a spell on Harmony and I wasn’t sure I could break it. Angelina sent my beautiful goddess to my arms and she could rip that away from me. After having a brief taste, I wasn’t ready to give up my prize easily.
Chasing her Curves Page 8
